accountability | Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens

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How to Build Accountability In Your Child

Happy New Year and no… this is not a list of resolutions for better parenting!

Having talked to quite a few parents during the Holidays who wanted their child to do what they were asked; I’m reminded of two things:

Keep it simple
Hold your child accountable

As you tell your child for the 5^th time to pick up his/her toys, clothes, etc. you might wonder what it will take for that delightful child of yours to become more accountable.

According to Century Dictionary, accountability is the state of being accountable or answerable; responsibility for the fulfilment of obligations; liability to account for conduct, meet or suffer consequences, etc.

The thing is, we want our kids to grow into accountable adults, which means that we want accountable teens, youths, toddlers.

So how do you get started?

Start now…ideally when your child is very young and impressionable. My daughter has been “guiding” our 2½ year old grandson with picking up his toys, since he could walk. He understands what picking up toys means, how to do it and the consequences of leaving them all over the floor.

Is she 100% successful? Nope, but she and her husband have a great start provided they stay consistent with their work with him. It gets more challenging, if you are starting to with children who are older and aren’t used to having to pick up after themselves.

Not impossible, but your work is cut out for you because your child won’t understand why all of a sudden, you are asking them to do something they’ve never had to do before.

3 tips for helping your child be more accountable:

Model behavior (that you want to see repeated)
Be as consistent as possible in holding your child responsible for what you’ve asked them to do
Help your child see things from another person’s viewpoint

Modeling the behavior, you want to see, is one of the skills that a leader uses. It’s much easier to get your child to pick up their toys, clean their room, clean the bathroom, if they see you do the same.

Teaching your child to see things from another’s perspective builds empathy and compassion. If occasionally you have your daughter help her brother or sister clean their room, fold clothes or clean the kitchen, they may be less inclined to fight, argue and compete with each other.

Just a couple of thoughts as we enter 2022.

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

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