Posts filed under ‘anger’

How to Defuse Anger in Your Family

Have you noticed that the people around you (at work or school) are so angry? Maybe it’s you or people within your family.

How do you keep that anger emotion from taking over?

Listen to my YouTube vlog and let me know what you think. Click here. Once you’re done subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Want to learn more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

March 13, 2019 at 9:03 pm Leave a comment

How Do You Manage Anger?

Dealing with anger and its repercussions can be very challenging. Being unaware of how to handle irritating and stressful situations may be a reason for many fits of anger and rage. Most people, except for young children and (possibly) teens, recognize their problem with uncontrollable anger.  Although there are many anger management activities which would enable them to better cope with confrontational situations, some people are unaware of these techniques and activities.

There are many anger management activities that parents and their children can practice or participate in when attempting to cope with daily feelings of anger.

One activity which is recommended for anger management is exercise. Exercise has been proven to have a positive impact on a person’s mood. Exercise helps an individual to decrease any negative feelings they might be experiencing. An effective anger management activity might be as simple as going for a walk or jog in the park. Visiting the gym to work out of taking part in their favorite sport may work well for an individual as an anger management activity. Taking a hike or spending a few hours in the beauty of nature would definitely allow a person to clear their head and release tension. Outdoor anger management activities can create an environment of serenity.

Anger management activities such as attending a support group, camp or retreat would help people who are experiencing difficulties controlling their anger. One positive aspect of attending anger management activities allows the person to see that their problem is not unique; that it is shared by plenty of other people. Being able to share with people in similar situations might be the key to anger management for some individuals. Sharing would likely provide hope through success stories. In anger management activities such as these, people are forced

to deal with their anger issues through various activities group sessions and one on one consults.

Anger management activities are recommended when dealing with children who are coping with anger or loss issues. A child is unlikely to respond well to group sessions and perhaps even become bored with one on one consultations. Finding activities which are interesting and even challenging may be a better alternative. Kids enjoy fun and games. Designing anger management games which are enjoyable yet beneficial would be so much more effective than forcing a child to sit down with an anger management counselor. Worksheets, coloring pages, individual games as well as interactive games would be accepted much better by children than a trip to the psychiatrist. When children are involved, it is essential to approach the problem carefully. Being overbearing will not go over well with kids. When considering anger management activities for kids, it is essential to be mindful that they are only children and the approach is important.

When considering anger management activities, choose ones which you find interesting and enjoyable. Sticking a person in an unfamiliar setting may create additional feelings of anger or isolation, neither of which is the intention of anger management activities. Finding an activity that works should be the key focus. I will be hosting a free parenting class on anger and grief on June 1, 2018 at Dyett High School through Parent University. Registration is highly recommended due to class size: dyettparentu.eventbrite.com

 

C. Lynn Williams

#MsParentguru & Founder of Finding Superwoman™

clynnwilliams.com

May 30, 2018 at 9:23 pm Leave a comment

Relationship Between Bullying and Mass Shooters

Could it be the Bullying

Each time I hear about a shooting especially a school shooting, I have two thoughts. First I wonder if the shooter was bullied while he was growing up. Second, I wonder what kind of home environment the shooter grew up in. No I’m not a psychologist, psychiatrist or FBI profiler, just a parenting expert who has studied lots of family units where children are raised. Sometimes the home environments are safe and nurturing. Other times, the environments are toxic and kids are not supported or cared for.

Bullying has no socioeconomic confines. Kids from all walks of life are bullied. I was bullied and I remember my mother trying lots of things to help me stand up for myself, including spanking me. Crazy right? When I taught at a boys high school, many teachers and coaches felt (like my mom) that the ‘bullied kid needed to learn how to fight, stand up for himself, grow up and be a man, man up and other nonsensical things that build

hate, embarrassment, and the need for retribution. In our gun-crazed society, if you can’t protect yourself, go buy a gun and annihilate your enemies. Have you noticed – all of the shooters have been male. Could that be because boys are taught to be competitive and aggressive?

But none of this is cool! There have been 18 school shootings in 2018, and this is only February. We have to develop more humane ways to teach our children how to ‘stand up for themselves’, handle bullies and be resilient when things don’t go their way.

 

Bullying is a learned behavior. Perhaps as parents, we need to find more humane ways to handle our anger and disappointments and set an example that our children can follow. They are always watching us.

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

February 21, 2018 at 3:02 pm Leave a comment

Tantrums of a Grown Woman

What adults do you know have TEMPER TANTRUMS? Have you ever had a hissy, (a bitch fit, a melt-down) and didn’t know how to handle it? Where did that  anger come from? I mean it’s one thing to get angry; it’s another to get so mad, you can hardly control yourself! I’m talking about how I felt and what I did to control myself. I’ve been angry before, and found that I felt better if I could blame someone else for how I felt – like my kids or my husband or my hormones. And while I know that’s not healthy, it’s what I did at that time. I’ve since MATURED!

I was really angry at the circumstances that I found myself in. On the one hand I was following my own advice, the advice that I give my Finding Superwoman™ clients when they start to feel overwhelmed. However I was mad at my Creator for being in the situation that I was in. As a faith-based person, I believe that you decide what path you want to take, pray about it and Take a Leap (of faith). As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr said: “Faith is taking the first step, even if you don’t see the whole staircase.”

As I gave myself time to think about what was really going on in my life, I decided that it wasn’t my faith or Creator, it was the choices that I had made for the last year and a half and the daily thoughts that I was thinking that landed me in the position that I found myself.

When things get tough for us as grown women, I believe there are a couple of ways you can handle the situation. 1: You can either have a temper tantrum (like I did), or 2: You can take deep look at the chain of events that got you where you currently are. The deep look inside builds wisdom because it causes you to do self-reflection.

On this particular morning, I allowed myself to have a meltdown – – a temper tantrum and decided to feel sorry for myself, the world is so cruel and that was it. That didn’t last very long because it felt weird.  I settled down, reached for my journal and wrote how I felt; then asked for guidance. It didn’t take long and I felt better.

I would love to hear How you handle disappointments?

When I coach my clients about finding their superwoman, I encourage them to discuss what’s really bugging them and determine what is most important in their life: work, family or relationships. Once they’ve sorted out what’s most important, we work on determining how to remove stress and those feelings of being overwhelmed by what family members and work associates think about the decisions we’ve made. I believe that you can have a wonderful relationship with your partner and your children as well as a successful career. If you are struggling to make this happen, Click Here to schedule a complimentary discovery session.

 

C. Lynn Williams

Award-winning Author & Founder of Finding Superwoman™
www.clynnwilliams.com

March 30, 2017 at 1:19 pm Leave a comment

The Cost of Anger to Me

Last week as I was driving to a meeting, I signaled to move into the lane to my right. Apparently I was too close to the driver behind me because the road-rage
next thing I knew, he sped ahead of me, changed into my lane and put on his brakes… I said to myself – “I’ve just been a victim of road rage! He probably didn’t think more about it, because he had satisfied that moment of complete rage. But I thought about how our anger, our rage gets the best of us every day.

My hubs tells me I’m on the ‘red train’ when I get really angry. Physiologically, my head hurts and I feel irrational. Imagine what that does to the organs in our bodies like our hearts, our brains, etc. The urban idiom is called ‘pop off’ meaning you lost your cool.

According to Livestrong.com, “Anger is an emotion that is associated with resentment, frustration, irritability and rage. Chinese medicine asserts that this choleric emotion is stored in the liver and gallbladder, which produce and store bile, respectively. This anger can affect many biological processes that sap energy and cause headaches, dizziness and high blood pressure.”¹ According to Lavelle Hendricks, “Before anger affects any part of our body, it has to affect our brain first. When we experience anger, the brain causes the body to release stress hormones, adrenaline andScream noradrenaline. These chemicals help the body control the heart rate and blood pressure.”²

Just think about how many people you know who have experienced heart attacks or aneurysms. I’m thinking about how my anger affects not only me, but also my kids and my husband. As a mom, I like being in control – to understand where everything is, my role, and how it affects my family. But, there are so many things that are outside of my control. Like someone bumping into to me on the street, or driving too close, or your kid having a bad day and saying something disrespectful. For our own sanity and the sake of our bodies, we have to let things go and move on without anger or self-recrimination. Hey…don’t lose your cool

[1] http://www.livestrong.com/article/193234-what-emotions-affect-different-organs-in-the-human-body/

[2]http://www.nationalforum.com/Electronic%20Journal%20Volumes/Hendricks,%20LaVelle%20The%20Effects%20of%20Anger%20on%20the%20Brain%20and%20Body%20NFJCA%20V2%20N1%202013.pdf

 

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, MothersDaughters, Mothers and their Sons or  Finding Superwoman™ for Overworked Moms.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
Want more Romance  in your life? Register for my Nov 1st webinar: How To Put Romance Back Into Your Schedule

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Speaker & Author

www.clynnwilliams.com

October 26, 2016 at 2:31 pm Leave a comment


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