#exercise | Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens

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You’re No Good To Us Dead

This week I sat in a very somber ceremony where we were celebrating the lives of women that had recently died. As I thought about their lives, I wondered how many of these women led the kind of life where they were more concerned with pleasing the people around them than taking time for themselves.

As women, we are often told that what matters is the sacrifice we make for other people – as mothers, wives or friends. I think about my mother, who give all of her time, money and energy to us (her children), family members, her friends and community.

It sounds so wonderful to sacrifice yourself, and continuously give to other people, but when we don’t take time to nurture our dreams and create time for ourselves, we become tired, overwhelmed, disillusioned, or sick. Then we are no good to ourselves or anyone else.

When my children were young I don’t remember taking time to practice daily self-care or knowing what self-care was until two things happened:

I lost a work colleague to cancer. Our lives mirrored each other’s in many ways: we were both in our 30’s, married with young children and working in corporate America. She seldom took time for herself. Lunch was an opportunity to purchase groceries or finish a project. Birthday gifts were practical household gifts. Everyone talked about how efficient and practical she was, but ultimately she didn’t get to live out her life.
I went through a divorce about 10 years later. Going through divorce caused me to stop and take time to figure out what was important to me; where I wanted to be and what made me happy. It’s amazing how life crises can cause you to look at your life differently.

You don’t have to wait until a life crisis makes you make positive change in your life. Take time now to do something just for you every day. Begin a physical activity or a hobby that you love and start it today. Why wait? Find your inner Superwoman and nurture her.

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my Finding Superwoman™ programs.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

July 11, 2018 at 12:41 pm Leave a comment

How to Stay Positive

This is a strange time right now, if my mom were alive, we would say “Mercury is retrograde”. If you’re a feeling type, you may just ‘feel’ strange. For me, I watch patterns. I’m used to things flowing evenly and smoothly, so when I start to misplace items, or the people around me become weird, I pay attention to myself and them. Sometimes, my intuition takes over and I feel uncomfortable with my environment, or my social community – the world. That’s definitely happening right now. Besides clients telling me how overwhelmed they feel, I’m reading (or hearing) news reports about more killings and suicides.

While I know we are not responsible for other people, sometimes those within your circle of influence will say things in an effort to ask for help. I’ve had it happen with my children, my students and friends. If they needed more than a listening ear, I referred them to a (school) social worker or psychologist.

What about you? How do you stay positive when your personal world is turning upside down? Taking a page from one of my thought leaders who deals with mindful-living, here are five things happy people do (to stay positive):[1]

They don’t tie happiness to external events
They exercise – exercise is shown to help with depression by raising endorphins. Endorphins trigger a positive feeling in the body, which makes you feel good.
They have close relationships; ideally 3-5 with people whom they can discuss important ideas or problems
They spend money on experiences not things
They don’t ignore negative emotions. Sometimes we will tell ourselves that we are imagining the problems and if we ignore them, they will go away. Not true! When you won’t allow yourself to grieve, get angry or feel disappointed, it stuffs those emotions down deep and they will surface much later, when you least expect it.

We are wonderful, complex people, living in a fast-paced, highly technical, global fishbowl. We are subject to make mistakes, lots of them and it’s not the end of the world when we do. Many of us have been taught that a project isn’t complete unless it is perfect. There is no such thing as perfect – especially to entrepreneurs, inventors and creatives. It is just as important to have fun as it is to work. Interact with people that you enjoy.

Talk to someone when you feel you can’t go on.

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

[1] https://hackspirit.com/7-habits-authentically-happy-people-nothing-positive-thinking-3/

June 8, 2018 at 1:55 pm Leave a comment

How Do You Manage Anger?

Dealing with anger and its repercussions can be very challenging. Being unaware of how to handle irritating and stressful situations may be a reason for many fits of anger and rage. Most people, except for young children and (possibly) teens, recognize their problem with uncontrollable anger. Although there are many anger management activities which would enable them to better cope with confrontational situations, some people are unaware of these techniques and activities.

There are many anger management activities that parents and their children can practice or participate in when attempting to cope with daily feelings of anger.

One activity which is recommended for anger management is exercise. Exercise has been proven to have a positive impact on a person’s mood. Exercise helps an individual to decrease any negative feelings they might be experiencing. An effective anger management activity might be as simple as going for a walk or jog in the park. Visiting the gym to work out of taking part in their favorite sport may work well for an individual as an anger management activity. Taking a hike or spending a few hours in the beauty of nature would definitely allow a person to clear their head and release tension. Outdoor anger management activities can create an environment of serenity.

Anger management activities such as attending a support group, camp or retreat would help people who are experiencing difficulties controlling their anger. One positive aspect of attending anger management activities allows the person to see that their problem is not unique; that it is shared by plenty of other people. Being able to share with people in similar situations might be the key to anger management for some individuals. Sharing would likely provide hope through success stories. In anger management activities such as these, people are forced

to deal with their anger issues through various activities group sessions and one on one consults.

Anger management activities are recommended when dealing with children who are coping with anger or loss issues. A child is unlikely to respond well to group sessions and perhaps even become bored with one on one consultations. Finding activities which are interesting and even challenging may be a better alternative. Kids enjoy fun and games. Designing anger management games which are enjoyable yet beneficial would be so much more effective than forcing a child to sit down with an anger management counselor. Worksheets, coloring pages, individual games as well as interactive games would be accepted much better by children than a trip to the psychiatrist. When children are involved, it is essential to approach the problem carefully. Being overbearing will not go over well with kids. When considering anger management activities for kids, it is essential to be mindful that they are only children and the approach is important.

When considering anger management activities, choose ones which you find interesting and enjoyable. Sticking a person in an unfamiliar setting may create additional feelings of anger or isolation, neither of which is the intention of anger management activities. Finding an activity that works should be the key focus. I will be hosting a free parenting class on anger and grief on June 1, 2018 at Dyett High School through Parent University. Registration is highly recommended due to class size: dyettparentu.eventbrite.com