Posts filed under ‘faith’

Every Adult Is Not Parent Material

When I read or listen to the news about parents abusing or killing their children, my heart breaks and I know they must not have had someone that they could reach out to and ask child-abusefor help. Last night I read about a woman who was insanely jealous and suffocated one of her children because she thought her boyfriend was cheating on her.  Other stories talk about how women didn’t feel they had anything to live for and decided to take their own life and the lives of their children.

I realize that children come into our lives in different ways. Some people have kids very early in life (or late in life) and love them as the spiritual gifts they are. Other people have them “accidentally” and treat them as objects or hindrances and never really “get it“, that the child in their life is truly a gift from God and here to teach us specific lessons.spiritual-gifts

While I was a twenty-something, I didn’t want kids. I wanted to climb the corporate ladder and go as high as I could without the responsibility of raising children. Plus growing up I had had many jobs babysitting kids (as well as watching my own brother & sister), so no thank you was my answer to having kids! After much thought and five years of marriage, I decided, I had room in my heart for a child. While that was my decision, I realize not everybody gets to decide or puts that kind of thought into having their children; I just wish they would.

Raising kids is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done! Kids take your Time, your Patience, your Energy and all of your Money! However I would do it again without a second thought. Were there times that I wanted to give them back to the Creator? Yes – probably so! But that’s the time that you reach out to someone close to you; someone who is saner than you and you say “Help! I need some time to myself“.

If we’re honest, we know some of those women before they’ve reached the breaking point. If you’re like me, you feel their “strangeness” when they come around you. Follow your intuition next time. When you feel that one of your women-friends  or family members is a little too quiet or withdrawn, reach out to her and offer her your time and attention. Take her children for the day, so she can take some time for herself. You’ll have to do it without judging her because life has a way of coming back around to each of us. Today it may be your turn to help a woman out, and tomorrow, that woman may be in a position to help you. You never know. I call it KARMA.

For my prayer warriors, here is my prayer: “Father, today we pray for those facing desperate and lonely times. We pray especially for poor and defenseless children everywhere. Help us meet their needs as we are able.” Daily Bread 12/21/2016

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!

C. Lynn Williams
@MsParentguru
www.clynnwilliams.com

December 22, 2016 at 1:04 pm Leave a comment

Racial Differences – What We Can Do

In my last article, I talked about whether there were racial differences between my son and yours? If you believe in the circle of life,

My Son, Your Son

My Son, Your Son

you know that what goes around comes around. So right now, Black boys are being murdered at an alarming rate. However, it’s a matter of time before another ethnic group is targeted. I say, let’s band together, let’s change the laws that are unfairly targeting our youth no matter what race, ethnicity or religion and be about human unity.

I also want to know if it’s possible for African American people to begin operating (again) as a village, looking out for each other and each other’s children, supporting each other physically, financially, spiritually and combining our resources as necessary. There’s economic & political power if we operate as a group. We can share resources whether it’s with cooperative farming or loaning our gifts and skills to each other, so we will all thrive. Then it’s not life threatening to our families if Link or unemployment insurance is cut, a company downsizes and you lose your job, or the bank declines your loan for a new business. We have got to prevent outside societal issues from breaking us and damaging our families. Operating as a village means that we are empowered to speak out if we see each other’s child act inappropriately. Instead of being afraid of the young males on the block, mentor and share your skills with them. There is more to be said on this topic, but I think you understand what to do next. By the way, thanks for supporting authors like me and buying our books.

Here’s an excerpt from Chapter Ten, Reaching the Goal in Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen. “I think we can all agree that the goal is to have raised healthy, successful adult children who we can be proud of. Isn’t it? You want them to respect themselves and those around them. You pray that they are intelligent and are able to support themselves (hold a job), fight their own battles, and have a family. In short, “reaching the goal” means that they reflect to the world the best that you have given them.” Click here to purchase a copy for yourself or a friend. http://www.amazon.com/dp/0982796641    itTakesaVillage
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parenting Coach
http://www.clynnwilliams.com

Order My Books on Amazon.com:

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & Hormones! Available in summer, 2013

July 25, 2013 at 11:11 am 12 comments

Mom Love

mother_daughter_doggie

precious_her mother_daugher

 

 

 

 

Can you just love me as the daughter that I am?” That’s a question that many girls and women ask these days. “What did I do to make my mother treat me the way she does?” A friend of mine talks of how her mother belittles her and treats her like she’s a three year old. One of my adult students says that her mother can’t seem to find a kind word to say to her and she just avoids her. Why is that? As they say, there is nothing like a mother’s love. When you don’t have it, don’t you feel unbalanced?

In one of the chapters of my soon-to-be released book, “How to Raise Your Princess into a Queen”, I discuss what it means to be proud of your daughter. As a mother of two daughters, I remember how much I expected out of them.

My stepdaughter joined our family at the age of 16, so I didn’t get to participate in her training as a young girl. Yes I expected a lot from them, but I also explained why. I remember one of the conflicts that my daughter and I had, was when she became a teen. She told me that my expectations were too high for her. So we talked about it. Part of her problem with me was that I just told her what to do and didn’t seem to care how I said what I said. So it really wasn’t my expectations, but how I said what I expected. What did I expect?

• Be responsible
• Be respectable
• Finish school
• Believe in God
• Work & manage your money
• Respect your parents and other adults
• Think before you act
I think in all of the raising that we do with our daughters, we forget to be human with them, to love and enjoy them. Have a good relationship with your daughter. Talk to her, the way you would want her to talk to you if she were your mother. Cursing and harsh talking will not endear her to you. If she is a strong-willed person, like I was, not only will she not respect you, you may just tell you to jump in the lake. (I’m being funny here, but you don’t want an unnecessary fight on your hands.) Parenting is about gently leading and guiding our children, and teaching them right from wrong. As my grandmother used to say, “You get more bees with honey than you do with vinegar”.

To raise the consciousness of our people (and I’m talking humans everywhere), we have to lead by example and do it with love. The way you treat her, will be the way she treats her children.

I am putting together a mother-daughter workshop that will be offered in late summer, 2013. Let me know if you have a story that you’d like to share with me.
My email is: cgwwbooks@yahoo.com

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentGuru
Author & Parenting Coach
http://www.clynnwilliams.com

 

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
How to Turn Your Princess into a Queen – The Art of Raising an Awesome Daughter available in late spring, 2013

May 28, 2013 at 4:05 pm 4 comments

Your Son’s Role Model?

I keep trying to understand the male culture of taking one’s enemies out. As a woman, it is not an easily understood phenomenon. In my neighborhood, African American men and boys resolve their differences by shooting each other. Lots of males are dying these days. This kind of ethnic cleansing happens in Hispanic neighborhoods as well. Males in mainstream America also shoot, often harming or killing everyone in the general vicinity.

Very little discussion takes place because our society doesn’t seem to remember a time when we resolved our differences by talking things out. Tolerance is not a skill that seems to be taught or valued anymore. In the political arena, instead of working together, candidates annihilate each other with lies and insinuations, basically killing the accused candidate’s chances of winning anything. In corporate America, money and power rule to such an extent, that discussion and the possibility of working things out, very seldom occurs, unless a watchdog agency intervenes.

How do we teach our sons a better way to grow up in a society that does not value love, respect, honor and truth? What happened to the dads of yesteryear?  My dad is one of those “yesteryear” dads. He was Dr. Huxtable from The Cosby Show, Steve Douglas on My Three Sons (dating myself here), or the Mr. Eddie’s father on the Courtship of Eddie’s Father. I am talking about a dad that spends time with his family and talks to and with his son(s).  How else can boys grow into men without that kind of guidance?

I wonder if the Colorado shooter had had positive, quality time with his father during his formative years, if he would have been inclined to randomly shoot and kill people in a movie theatre. Don’t get me wrong, women own a piece of this parenting debacle too. Our boys can’t grow up like wild, uncontrollable plants without our assistance or good parenting. However, in the end they (our sons) are looking for a male role model; any old role model will do. If the only available role model is a drug dealer, that is who our sons will follow. If the role model is a caring, tolerant, man of faith – that’s who are son will follow instead.

Who is your son’s role model?

C. Lynn

November 4, 2012 at 1:26 pm 1 comment


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