Posts filed under ‘love’
Love Isn’t Always Easy or Convenient
Love Isn’t Always Easy or Convenient
Both of our parents are elderly. My dad is 81, and my mother-in-law is 79. The good news is that they both live on their own. However, even though they both live alone, one is experiencing temporary memory loss, while the other has been diagnosed with early stages of Alzheimer.
While visiting Dad, I found myself treating him like one of my children. It felt very odd to remind him to do things, that I took for granted he did. Yet, like my kids, he needed reminders to do what he normally would do (without my help). Take eating healthy. Dad is a big proponent of juicing, exercising and eating moderate amounts of food, yet he’s consuming more sweets than ever seen before. Looks like lunch has been replaced with coffee and a sweet something or other. Another thing, every couple of weeks he’s having something new repaired on his car. When I ask him why, he says, “I want my car to run well.” It already runs well… I’m concerned that he’s wasting his money, or worse, TV ads are convincing him to spend money unnecessarily.
You’re probably saying, hey that’s not a big deal! He can still take care of himself! Well what happens when he forgets (again) how to get to the VA Center, which he has driven to for years? Or how do you tell your elderly mother, that you have to take her car keys because she continues to get lost and has to have someone call you because she doesn’t know where she is? Loving your parents means that you care for them, (and make those hard care decisions) when they can no longer care for themselves.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru Author & Parent Coach
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010) The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Communications, 2013)
Expectations
Since Halloween is right around the corner, many of the movies being shown (the other night) were scary. I didn’t want to watch a scary movie so being the person that loves a happy ending; I watched a tearjerker and then switched to a lighthearted comedy.
I turned on The Object of My Affection starring Jennifer Aniston and Paul Rudd. She was a social worker (counseling young teen girls about practicing safe sex) who while dating and got pregnant. He didn’t want kids so he broke up with her. Her best friend (Paul) a gay man who told her he would stay by her side throughout her pregnancy. What was interesting was that even though she knew that her best friend was gay she fell in love with him anyway like women who are pregnant, tend to do.
Right now you’re probably wondering why I believe that most women who become pregnant fall in love with the man that they are close to? It has happened to a number of my friends and women who have shared that information with me in one of my many “girlfriend chats”. You could say that it’s in the maternity pills, or the increase in estrogen that our bodies start mass producing. In any case, hopefully that guy that you’re having a child with, is someone that you plan to spend the rest of your life with and the life of your child, because you are going to rely on him for money, moral support, to rub your feet when they’re tired and your back when it starts to ache and you will naturally start to feel closer and closer to him.
Relying on your ‘guy’ while you’re pregnant, didn’t bother me as much as the comments that women like Jennifer Aniston (in the movie) have when their significant other tells them they don’t want to have children and that it’s a deal breaker for their relationship. THESE ARE THE WORDS: “That’s okay I’ll raise the baby on my own, I don’t need him.” Liar! Raising a child on your own is really difficult and to tell yourself that it isn’t, that you can do it alone is simply not true. Here’s my suggestion. Wait until marriage to have sex or use more reliable birth control. It’s hard enough raising children in a two parent household without having to raise your child without his father.
By the way, Jennifer was pissed when her best friend brought a guy home for the night, but what she stopped realizing was that her best friend was there for her, just not romantically into her. Dang it! It wasn’t the happy ending I’d hoped for, but it was pretty realistic! Kind of like real life!
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C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parent Coach
http://www.clynnwilliams.com
Order My Books on Amazon.com:
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES (220 Communications, 2013)
Waiting for Real Love
Do people fall in love anymore? With dating services like E Harmony, Match.com and Christian Mingles, do people marry for convenience, or do people actually wait for Mr. (or Mrs.) Right to come along? I remember a conversation that I had years ago with my aunt. She wasn’t happy with the man that I planned to marry, and in so many words, told me so! She preferred that I marry a doctor or lawyer to have “the finer things in life”. That would have been okay, except that I had to be in love with the man I planned to marry.
My girlfriend feels the same way too. Her very complicated life has recently gotten a lot simpler and she says if she ever marries again, it will be the kind of “hard to breathe”, “can’t sleep at night without thinking about him” kind of love. I mean face it, if you marry someone for money or looks, both could vanish overnight right? A couple in New York felt the same way and married each other 35 years after falling in love at first sight! Okay maybe I wouldn’t wait that long. Oh the power of true love!
Click here to read the article: http://tiny.cc/tsx41w 
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parent Coach
My Books:
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! Available August, 2013 – preorder starts Aug 23rd http://raisingyourdaughterpresale-esli.eventbrite.com/#!
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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