Posts filed under ‘#MeToo’
Boys Will Be Boys…
I could never understand why the things that I got into trouble for, my brother didn’t get into trouble for. The way it was explained to me was: “you are not your brother”. Fast forward to a story that my husband used to tell me. He was the oldest of four, and two of those siblings were girls. His sisters did not understand why the discipline for him was different than the discipline for them. His dad simply told them “you are not a 16-year-old boy”. Now whether that’s right or wrong, that’s how our culture decides what’s appropriate for boys versus what’s appropriate for girls. It doesn’t always match up with what is right.
What’s even more unbalanced is how our society is inconsistent in its justice for black boys versus white boys. I taught males in high school. When I taught at a male-only high school, and noticed that the punishment for African-American or Hispanic students tended to be more severe than the punishment for Caucasian students. What was that about?
So growing up as a girl, I realized that boys’ behavior was more acceptable than girls, and as a young adult woman I found that white males received more leniency for punishment than males of color.
So now we have a U.S. Supreme Court candidate who has been accused of sexual harassment as a teenage boy. During one of the news reports yesterday, I heard a commentator or maybe it was a U.S. senator say “well you know boys will be boys.” That’s a travesty and shouldn’t be tolerated! A crime is a crime no matter who does it. If you sell dope, (I think we call them drugs today) then you’re guilty. Your punishment shouldn’t be any different because of your skin color or your gender. If Bill Cosby, who had a reputation of being America’s funniest TV dad, can be accused and convicted of sexual misconduct, then so can Judge Kavanaugh and President Trump.
I mean justice is blind right? Click Here to purchase a copy of The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship With Your Son.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
How to Best Support Your (Child) Athlete Before They Are Sexually Abused
I have a young great-niece named Alyssa who is amazing. She taught herself how to do backflips watching YouTube videos. She was such a natural athlete, that she’s starting on one of the leading gymnastics teams in Illinois.
But That’s not why I’m telling you about Alyssa. As I listen to the most recent stories about adult gymnasts who were sexually abused and violated as children by Larry Nassar, I think about our sons and daughters who are young athletes. I hope sexual abuse will never happen to them.
According to childwelfare.gov, your daughter has a 1 in 4 chance and your son has a 1 in 6 chance of being molested. That’s pretty scary!
If a coach or doctor touched your child inappropriately would she or he be able to tell you what was happening? Don’t worry about the authorities, believing that a violation had taken place. How would you handle the situation?
According to Everyday Feminism, many kids are afraid to tell their parents that they’ve been sexually abused, because they are afraid that they will be in trouble. Let’s be proactive instead.
Here are 5 ways to talk to your kids about sexuality and abuse:
1. Have calm, casual conversations about appropriate & inappropriate touch – often.
2. Begin talking to them as young as 2 years old. Make the conversations age appropriate.
3. Teach them the actual names of their private parts.
4. Share the only instances when their private parts can be seen and touched.
5. Let them know what appropriate and inappropriate touching is.
It’s important that your child know they have the right to control their bodies. Help them feel comfortable to talk about their body to you (as their parent) and to tell you immediately if someone touches them inappropriately. Most important – please believe them if they tell you someone has touched them (inappropriately), no matter who it is.
I would love to hear your thoughts. Please feel free to comment in the Reply section below.
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C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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