Posts filed under ‘Stepmothers’
The Secret Lives of Teens on Social Media: Here’s What You Need to Know
Social media has become an integral part of our everyday lives. Parents use it, just like their children. However, on average, teenagers are the ones who spend the most time on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, TikTok and similar platforms.
This leaves many parents worried. Some are afraid that this habit will grow into an addiction, while others are concerned about cyberbullying, over-sharing, and an “all-about-attention” attitude.
Author Donna Lynn Hope asks an important question: “How different would people act if they couldn’t show off on social media? Would they still do it?”
If our children were to be born in more innocent times, without social media, would they be any different?
Consider these questions:
- How do we know what our children are doing online?
- Is there a way to control our child’s behavior on social media, without invading their privacy and breaking their trust?
- How do we recognize if social media is negatively affecting our children?
This topic is complicated, and there are no simple answers. However, if you ask your child about the time they spend on social media, you might be surprised at how willing they are to talk about it.
When you speak with them about their emotions and challenges, and address potential issues in self-esteem, you may find that social media won’t pose such a threat to them.
Even so, you may still be wondering how you can safely explore your child’s secret life on social media.
These solutions will help:
- Dignify their devices. If you want to limit your child’s social media usage, avoid taking away their device. They will find another one. Help them find effective ways to self-regulate, instead.
- Fear of missing out often motivates the time spent on social media.
- However, teens are aware of the consequences this habit creates. Encourage them to reflect on these consequences and focus on the impact social media overload has on their personal, academic, and other goals.
- Fear of missing out often motivates the time spent on social media.
- Ask about the apps. Ask your child which apps they spend the most time on. Is it Instagram, Facebook, or perhaps Snapchat? Once you find out, install those apps on your phone, too, and figure out how they work.
- Some apps have geolocation which can pose a real danger. Try to manage your child’s social media activity by informing them of the danger rather than imposing your opinion.
- Don’t be a manager, be a mentor.
- Some apps have geolocation which can pose a real danger. Try to manage your child’s social media activity by informing them of the danger rather than imposing your opinion.
- Help them to protect their privacy. Talk about privacy settings on different social media accounts. Some teens are not aware of this option.
- Agree with them to accept only the followers and friends that they know personally. This is not an easy task for a teen because the number of followers is often the barometer of popularity.
- However, if they understand the necessity for well-managed online presence, this shouldn’t be a problem.
- Agree with them to accept only the followers and friends that they know personally. This is not an easy task for a teen because the number of followers is often the barometer of popularity.
- Talk about sexting. Parents find the infamous conversation about “The Birds and the Bees” just as awkward as children do. However, now you have another level to deal with – sexting.
- Teens can often confuse sending explicit messages and photos for intimacy that might not exist.
- Talk about what it means to have a healthy relationship and how to develop and maintain one.
- Teens can often confuse sending explicit messages and photos for intimacy that might not exist.
- Overcome social media prejudice. Many parents believe that social media is completely, or almost completely, bad. However, it is neither good nor bad per se. It’s a new form of communication.
- When parents talk to their children about social media from this standpoint, the child is likely to withhold and hide information.
- Genuine curiosity and an open mind about your child’s interest in social media can make a significant difference.
- When parents talk to their children about social media from this standpoint, the child is likely to withhold and hide information.
- Care about their emotions. Teenagers want their opinions to be heard. This especially goes for the things they’re passionate or angry about. Social media offers instant feedback to their posts, which makes kids feel listened to, validated, and acknowledged.
- However, if you offer empathy for challenges your child is facing, you can provide listening and validation inside of your family, too. This will give you an insight into what your teen posts on social media and an opportunity to help them self-filter.
When your child asks you for the first time if they can open a social media account, avoid judging them or jumping to conclusions. Accept their need to engage in such community-based way of communication, talk about it, and help them build a safe profile.
Teach them how to protect themselves and what to expect.
You’ll never have all the information about their activity, but if you’re interested and understanding, you might get just the right amount.
I help parents build the kind of communication and trust that allows parent-child relationships to grow and feel better through coaching and parent classes. Email me for more information: info@clynnwilliams.com 😘
Thanks for reading my blog and following me on Instagram and Twitter @MsParentguru.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Give Them Something To Believe In
Life is funny, you leave one crisis, and move into a second or third one.
This week I’m thinking about boys… yes, our sons. And the challenges some of them face growing up.
For the last several years, we have experienced a number of young men losing their life to gun violence. Violence of being shot by rivals and violence due to police shootings. Last year (2020), not only did we experience over 600,000 people who died from COVID-19, we also watched as the number of black boys and men who were shot and killed by police, increased.
Toward the end of 2020, many cities noticed a rash of crimes where people were being carjacked and robbed or killed. Many of these crimes were committed by young men, some as young as 11 or 12. It makes you wonder what kind of direction or guidance they are receiving at home?
I had firsthand knowledge of guidance for a young boy.
My little brother…
I think back to my brother and how he responded to my mom and dad’s divorce. He was young, about 11 years old and missed having Dad at home. He was angry and felt alone.
He started getting into trouble.
A lot. Getting into trouble in those days, meant being disrespectful, destroying somebody’s property, or stealing. Our dad wasn’t coming by for regular visits, but if my mother called about my brother, Dad would come and discipline him.
My brother was so unhappy that he began trying to take his life. (Thank God he was unsuccessful.) He also began hanging out with the “bad boys” in the neighborhood.
My mother sold our house and moved to a different neighborhood.
Who can say what kind of stress these boys are undergoing at home?
- It could be due to financial issues.
- Maybe the stress is verbal or physical.
- Your son could be dealing with depression.
- Perhaps he is reacting to deaths of people he knows due to COVID-19, domestic or gun violence. If his family has gang affiliation and the violence is orchestrated by gang leaders, imagine how stressful that could be.
How do you help your son if he is facing any of these (or other issues)? What do you do if he’s going through male teen angst? Maybe he’s exhibiting disrespectful, aggressive, violent behavior or mood swings.
What happens if you can’t change neighborhoods?
Try these five things before giving up or seeking professional help:
- Schedule Time With Your Son – talk frequently and spend regularly scheduled time with him and keep his schedule jam-packed with school, sports, clubs, time with friends, and after-school jobs.
- Set a Sleep Routine – it’s easier being a teen if he’s getting enough sleep.
- Get Moving – the last thing a moody teen wants to do is get up and move, but it’s one of the best ways he can feel better.
- Listen Without Lecturing – resist the urge to lecture your son. Listen with an open mind.
- Keep Your Cool – take a deep breath, keep your cool and find a way to communicate without lashing out.
Find an honorable, trustworthy male mentor that he can talk to, when he can’t talk to you. Remember to model healthy ways to handle stress. Take good care yourself.
I help parents build the kind of communication and trust that allows parent-child relationships to grow and feel better through coaching and parent classes. Email me for more information: info@clynnwilliams.com 😘
Thanks for reading my blog. Follow me on Instagram and Twitter @MsParentguru.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
The Blending Of Blended Families
Falling in love with a man or woman is wonderful and exciting. But how will his children feel with you as their stepmom … or better yet how will yours feel?
Click on the link below and watch the rest of my video blog!
Want to learn more about your family’s dynamics? Order a copy of my book: Yours & Mine: A Winning Blended Family Formula
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
Want to Better Manage Your Time?
Have you ever said I’ll do that later, only to find that there were at least 3 more things that you needed to complete? For the next 2 ½ minutes, read this carefully and take notes. I am giving you five free tips for mastering your time management. Truly these tips will transform your chaotic day into a calm experience. For years, I had an issue with time. It’s not that I couldn’t arrive on time; it’s making sure that what I was leaving had been completed. For example, I hate leaving the house with tasks undone like cleaning up the kitchen, putting a load of clothes in the wash or finishing one of my tasks as an entrepreneur.
Here’s the secret. I suffered from that syndrome that many working mothers experience in their everyday lives. Perfectionism! I don’t know about you, but I was taught that having a clean, orderly house was my responsibility. Nobody told me to go out and be successful, and by the way, don’t worry about having a perfectly clean house. It’ll take care of itself! What I wasn’t taught and I won’t be teaching this today either – how to manage household activities as a successful entrepreneur. That’s one of the lessons in my Time Management for Busy Moms program.
Managing your time is a skill that you want to develop into a habit. Being successful in business may mean you won’t have a clean house. Look at your guy friends or your spouse. When they have appointments or meetings, they are out the door. I know this is true for my husband. It doesn’t matter what’s not operating perfectly (or imperfectly in our home), he practices good time management. ALWAYS!
Clearly in business, timeliness is next to godliness and having a reputation that you can’t make it to meetings or events on time can discredit your credibility. If you have children at home, getting them out of the house (on time) can also impact your schedule. You’re ready for success, aren’t you?
Try these simple tips:
- Set your intention to manage your time today.
Decide today that you are going to manage your time. I learned a long time ago that thoughts are things and if you want to attract specific things into your life, you have to change your thoughts. (It works!)
- Do it now or set a reasonable date for later.
Don’t obsess over what needs to be done. Decide what your most urgent tasks are and do them. If time does not permit this, schedule the tasks on your calendar.
- Make a list of what you want to complete.
I am a big proponent of creating lists, because my dominant learning style is visual and seeing a picture of my daily to dos, keeps it fresh on my mind. Depending on how urgent they are or how many I have, I schedule them in my phone.
- Give yourself time to be on time.
I learned this habit before my kids were born. Take your shower and put on your make-up when you first get up in the morning. For health enthusiasts and meditation gurus like me, pray and work out, then take your shower and put on your make-up. I find that giving myself time to be on time, means I have to work smartly.
- Stop rushing!
Successful entrepreneurs and business women give themselves time to get to their places of business or meetings. Speeding down the highway and honking your horn before the light turns green is not going to help you make that meeting in a timely fashion. Giving yourself 15 extra minutes allows for unexpected delays.
Become a master by practicing these five time management tips daily. You are on your way to a transformed life.
Imagine what it’s like have great time management AND work-life balance! If you are struggling to make this happen, Click Here to receive my Ultimate Mom Planner chock full of great organizers and organizational tips. Want to be a part of a group of women just like you? Click Here to join my FREE Facebook group – Balanced Moms Club.
C. Lynn Williams, creator of Finding Superwoman™
Family Coach, Author & Speaker
Self-Care for Women Who Care
The phrase self-care is used a lot these days. It means practices and activities that we can do regularly to reduce stress and enhance our health and well-being. Remembering to take time for myself is something I have to do weekly if not daily.
As a busy woman, it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself especially if you are running a business, raising children or taking care of aging parents.
In my graphic at the top of this newsletter, are twelve simple things that you can do to practice taking care of yourself. Which ones appeal to you?
Here Are My 3 Favs:
- Be Positive. Creating a habit of positive thinking can transform not only the way you view the world, but how you move through it. Psychology Today 9/24/2014
- Have Fun. Children constantly invent ways to have fun. You can do the same thing! Have a play day, afternoon, or an hour where you do something completely FUN!
- Go Outside. When we were kids my parent’s favorite phrase was “Go Outside and Play”! I love being outside with Nature, whether it’s walking, jogging or messing around in my garden because it allows me to forget the issues that are on my mind. I usually have a solution when I take time with Nature. There’s something about being with Nature that uplifts and inspires me.
Are perfection issues derailing your relationships?
Text the word PERFECTION to 708-501-7060 to receive a neat gift and an opportunity to connect with me.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Award-winning Author & Motivational Speaker
3 Habits for Healthy Families
During this Thanksgiving holiday, we will share many things with our families: holiday traditions, good-night hugs and good times. I truly love family customs and traditions, hugs (not just at night) and the good times we share as our family gathers together.
In addition to these things, check your ‘list’ to see if you are including these healthy habits as well. I’m including three of my favorite ones here:
- Make mealtime family time – This matters because shared meals help families catch up and connect. Studies show that kids who regularly eat with their families have healthier eating habits than those who don’t.
- Volunteer together – This is important because helping others lifts our spirits and improves our overall sense of well-being. It also teaches our children that they can make a difference, which can help boost their self-confidence and make them feel good about themselves.
- Handle anger in a healthy way – When we lash out it strains relationships within and outside our family. “Kids tend to express anger by lashing out at parents and teachers, and their anger may isolate them from their peers.”[1] In adults, angry outbursts can raise the risks of heart attack and stroke.
Thank you Rush University Medical Center for these healthy tips for our families!
As you welcome your college students back home and see family members you haven’t seen in a while, take time to relax and enjoy them. Even Aunt Josephine who manages to say something completely crazy to everyone she sees, still needs a hug. ♥
Time Saving Tip: Sparkl Now – The Car Wash Service That Comes to You!
Are you tired of riding around in a dirty, cheerio-ridden car?
I was just like you! As a mom of busy and messy boys, I found myself living most of my day in the car—shuttling to/from school, practices and play dates. My kids often had to eat meals in the car in order to get to where we needed to be on time.
This is what inspired me to launch Sparkl – an eco-friendly, waterless car wash that comes to YOU. All you have to do is download our app, register, and schedule a date and time. We do the rest. Our products are bio-degradable and our waterless solution is safe enough to use on any car. All of our washers are background checked and trained to provide a quality car wash anytime anywhere. We will come to your home, office, parking garage, or just the street. It’s that simple…and convenient. No more dirty car… and no more waiting in line at the car wash! Now your car can get cleaned without wasting your precious time…or our environment’s precious resources. To learn more about Sparkl, please check out our website: www.sparklnow.com.
C. Lynn Williams’ Upcoming Events:
Dating With The Right Tools webinar Dec 6th – Part 2 of Romance Series
Kick the Chaos workshop Dec 9th – kickthechaos.eventbrite.com
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons or Fathers and Daughters.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Coach & Author
www.clynnwilliams.com
[1] Adrienne Adams, MD, MS – Rush University Medical Center
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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