Many of us view success as pretty, handsome, moneyed, good job, well-liked…
Then when we don’t achieve success for any of the reasons listed below or more…
Haven’t finished (or started) college
Don’t have the right job
Grew up in the wrong neighborhood
Married… didn’t marry
Wrong skin color, gender, religious belief
We wonder why we feel defeated, depressed, uninspired.
Or, we have “everything going for ourselves”, outwardly as my mom would say, and yet we feel defeated, depressed, or uninspired inside. Today in our How to ❤️ Love ❤️ Yourself More…Intentionally clubhouse, we talked about how being pretty and beautiful are NICE, but have nothing to do with how you feel inside. People are obsessed with looks and fortune. How can you be sad and depressed when you have good looks and wealth?
Easy!
As my co-moderator said, we are “cracked glass” and looking out we don’t see our external beauty and wealth. We only feel brokenness and sadness. Many of us live in quiet desperation and don’t know how to find our way out.
Suicide is not the answer.
I’ve lost several family members to suicide and while I don’t know exactly what each one felt before taking their life, I know what it feels to be the one left to pick up the pieces and try to figure out what happened? Each member had worth and value but did not feel that there was another way for their story to be told.
One of the best things you can do is open up and share your pain with a supportive friend, group, or a therapist. The other thing to do is remember, you are unique with a God-given purpose! Be who you want to be instead of a copy of someone else. Stop buying the “image” and be the original – one of a kind – amazing you!
Interested in loving yourself more deeply? Click Here – to schedule a complimentary chat with Ms. Parent Guru about how her How to Love Yourself In 30 Dayscoaching program can support you.
Click Here to become a part of her parenting community.
My daughter was a young girl when my brother committed suicide. I was devastated. He had been suffering with a chronic illness and told us he was praying to die, while we prayed for him to live.
He had talked about dying years before that because he was so unhappy. Suicide is seldom unplanned, and victims leave clues.
It is up to us to pay attention to those clues and intervene. That’s easy to say, and harder to do. There are lots of external influences that will make it challenging to notice the clues.
These days children are dealing with life issues that they don’t want to talk about. Bullying. Sexual abuse. Peer pressure. Parental expectations. Excelling in school. These issues are further exacerbated by the separatism that technology provides. Many of these issues young people face without appropriate coping skills. When an unpleasant event occurs they feel that life can’t go on and so they attempt suicide or they are successful. 🤯
I recently heard the story of a good kid who received detention at school and then was reprimanded by his s parents at home. Concerned that he had jeopardized his chances to get into a Ivy League school for college; he committed suicide. Did he leave any clues that he was fragile?
What about the girl who can no longer face school or online bullies and decides that suicide is a better alternative to living. What behaviors did her parents notice before she took her life?
How do we stop this madness?
Suicide is beyond devastating! It’s really bad when it happens to a child that you think is safe; has a good life; and looks normal.
Are there warning signs? They’re probably aren’t many if any unless you are watching intently and you are in tune with your child; even then there’s no guarantee that you will be aware of what’s going on.
Here is what I can tell you:
Watch for changes of behavior
Mood swings
Quiet and withdrawn in an otherwise outgoing joyous kid.
There’s no guarantee that you’ll catch the clues then, but it least if you start a conversation beyond ‘how was your day’; if you talk about how to build resilience; if you let your child know that there is nothing worth taking their life over…
Have those hard conversations now when everything is good. Let your child know that correcting their behavior is your job, but that you are always proud of them and love them. reprinted from November 23, 2019
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
My daughter was a young girl when my brother committed suicide. I was devastated. He had been suffering with a chronic illness and told us he was praying to die, while we prayed for him to live.
He had talked about dying years before that because he was so unhappy. Suicide is seldom unplanned, and victims leave clues.
It is up to us to pay attention to those clues and intervene. That’s easy to say, and harder to do. There are lots of external influences that will make it challenging to notice the clues.
These days children are dealing with life issues that they don’t want to talk about. Bullying. Sexual abuse. Peer pressure. Parental expectations. Excelling in school. These issues are further exacerbated by the separatism that technology provides. Many of these issues young people face without appropriate coping skills. When an unpleasant event occurs they feel that life can’t go on and so they attempt suicide or they are successful. 🤯
I recently heard the story of a good kid who received detention at school and then was reprimanded by his s parents at home. Concerned that he had jeopardized his chances to get into a Ivy League school for college; he committed suicide. Did he leave any clues that he was fragile?
What about the girl who can no longer face school or online bullies and decides that suicide is a better alternative to living. What behaviors did her parents notice before she took her life?
How do we stop this madness?
Suicide is beyond devastating! It’s really bad when it happens to a child that you think is safe; has a good life; and looks normal.
Are there warning signs? They’re probably aren’t many if any unless you are watching intently and you are in tune with your child; even then there’s no guarantee that you will be aware of what’s going on.
Here is what I can tell you:
• Watch for changes of behavior
• Mood swings
• Quiet and withdrawn in an otherwise outgoing joyous kid
There’s no guarantee that you’ll catch the clues then, but it least if you start a conversation beyond ‘how was your day’; if you talk about how to build resilience; if you let your child know that there is nothing worth taking their life over…
Have those hard conversations now when everything is good. Let your child know that correcting their behavior is your job, but that you are always proud of them and love them.
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms.
Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for
Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and
Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
This is a strange time right now, if my mom were alive, we would say “Mercury is retrograde”. If you’re a feeling type, you may just ‘feel’ strange. For me, I watch patterns. I’m used to things flowing evenly and smoothly, so when I start to misplace items, or the people around me become weird, I pay attention to myself and them. Sometimes, my intuition takes over and I feel uncomfortable with my environment, or my social community – the world. That’s definitely happening right now. Besides clients telling me how overwhelmed they feel, I’m reading (or hearing) news reports about more killings and suicides.
While I know we are not responsible for other people, sometimes those within your circle of influence will say things in an effort to ask for help. I’ve had it happen with my children, my students and friends. If they needed more than a listening ear, I referred them to a (school) social worker or psychologist.
What about you? How do you stay positive when your personal world is turning upside down? Taking a page from one of my thought leaders who deals with mindful-living, here are five things happy people do (to stay positive):[1]
They don’t tie happiness to external events
They exercise – exercise is shown to help with depression by raising endorphins. Endorphins trigger a positive feeling in the body, which makes you feel good.
They have close relationships; ideally 3-5 with people whom they can discuss important ideas or problems
They spend money on experiences not things
They don’t ignore negative emotions. Sometimes we will tell ourselves that we are imagining the problems and if we ignore them, they will go away. Not true! When you won’t allow yourself to grieve, get angry or feel disappointed, it stuffs those emotions down deep and they will surface much later, when you least expect it.
We are wonderful, complex people, living in a fast-paced, highly technical, global fishbowl. We are subject to make mistakes, lots of them and it’s not the end of the world when we do. Many of us have been taught that a project isn’t complete unless it is perfect. There is no such thing as perfect – especially to entrepreneurs, inventors and creatives. It is just as important to have fun as it is to work. Interact with people that you enjoy.
Talk to someone when you feel you can’t go on.
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
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