Posts tagged ‘Generations and Age Groups’
Single By Choice?
My daughter attended a wedding this weekend of her former college roommate. When I asked her what she thought of the wedding, she surprised me by saying how interesting it was that the majority of the women, who attended, came unattached. Mind you these are not unattractive, uneducated women or candidates for spinsterhood. These are attractive, well educated, gainfully employed African-American women who for whatever reason chose to attend the wedding alone. My question was WHY? Where were their boyfriends, husbands, significant others?
Just for the record, my daughter is a Gen Yer, or considered part of the Millennial Generation. Known as “Generation Me”[1], characteristics of this generation are: confidence, tolerance and also a sense of entitlement and narcissism. Most in this generation believe that life owes them something wonderful and they don’t mind waiting for it. My generation was a little different. We met, dated and married men that our parents approved of (possibly despite their approval). Very few of the girls in my class chose not to marry.
The irony is that I too have a number of friends and associates who are single by choice. Many were once married and are now divorced or widowed; a handful have chosen to remain single. Those who divorced decided that men were crazy and they were not interested in tying the knot again! The good news is that my contemporaries are no longer having children. However, one problem that I see is that it appears that two generations of African-American women are single and raising children as single moms without the benefit or assistance of a husband or significant partner. You might say, “What’s wrong with that?” My answer is that we are crippling generations of children who don’t know what it means to have a dad and a mom in the same household. That’s a problem because of the difficulty of raising a child singly – exhaustion, financial, and discipline to name a few. Let alone the issues that single moms have raising boys. Add to that, households of children that are born with different fathers and little connectedness to their larger family unit (grandfathers, aunts, uncles, etc.) and what we have is a breakdown of the African-American family unit.
I shared these thoughts with my sister (who is divorced by the way) and her perspective was entirely different. She felt that the problem was with African-American men. If men were more responsible, less unfaithful, more interested in raising families and employed, the world would be Perfect! I wonder what men would say about us? How do you feel? Let’s start a dialogue! Feel free to share your thoughts.
[1] Jean Twenge, author of the 20
06 book Generation Me
Teaching School Tolerance
I saw this link on pregnant teen girls and our need to be sure that they are educated in school. Check it out and tell me what you think.
http://www.tolerance.org/blog/support-pregnant-teens-lasts-generations
Submitted by Sarah Sansburyon March 30, 2012
- Keywords:
- Diversity and inclusion
Paulina walked slowly down the hall, her gait marked by the waddle of many pregnant mothers. As she came closer, you could see her belly, slightly swollen. You felt her discomfort as she squeezed into her desk. Five months in, she hadn’t seen a doctor or taken any vitamins. The baby’s father wasn’t in the picture. There were rumors of rape. Her parents had all but disowned her.
What role should the school play in the life of a teenage mom? How can we help?
Of course we don’t advocate teen pregnancy. Pregnancy prevention is the best policy. However, the question is what to do when it happens—because it will happen.
Like all teenagers—no matter their creed, race, gender—young mothers are still students deserving an equal opportunity for education. A school needs to be flexible in making that happen.
Sadly, the fact is teen moms are more likely to drop out than graduate. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, only 50 percent of teen moms get their diploma. Of those who get their high school diploma, only an estimated 2 percent will graduate from college by age 30. It’s not only hard to be a mom while going through school, but that most schools do not offer teen moms the needed support.
In fact, only a few states have specific laws requiring schools to provide special services for teen moms like home-bound studies or in-school programs. Other states, like Kansas, have no laws regarding attendance or alternative programs. Some states“require” helpful programs for teen moms. Others “encourage”them. Some schools do an excellent job of serving pregnant or parenting teens.
A teen mother‘s success seems unfortunately tied to the luck of the draw—the state and district where she attends school. One purpose of public education is to help create capable, contributing citizens—even if they are young moms. A little help now may be all she needs to stay on the path of education.
We need to champion their needs—whether that means speaking to your administration, board of education members, or even state legislators. And, if you have any pregnant students, be flexible and supportive as best you can. It can be as simple as providing a comfortable desk area or, on a larger scale, supplying materials and instruction needed while she recovers during maternity leave.
No matter what our personal philosophy is on teen pregnancy, we need to boost our students’ likelihood for success.
Paulina, a senior, had a baby boy in January. With the support of her teachers and school counselor, she had started taking prenatal vitamins, regularly seeing a doctor and will be participating in a home-bound study program when she’s on maternity leave. She is determined to graduate—for a better future for her and her baby.
Sansbury is a middle and high school teacher in Georgia.
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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