Posts tagged ‘Home’
My Dad
I love Father’s Day because I get to honor my dad, but it’s weird like Mother’s Day because how do you celebrate someone (for a day) who has loved you all of your life? The question for me is what did I learn from my dad? Hm… Well, my dad was very patient and easy-going. So during those times, when I’m not running at 100 miles per hour, I’m probably acting like my dad! 
In addition, he accepted people for who they were. I very seldom heard him talk badly about anyone. Okay I have half of that trait from him! On good days, when I’m not yelling at the driver in front of me, I’m probably acting more like my dad. I’m pretty competitive, believe in helping others (got that from both parents), and I’d say the rest of my traits are a result of my mother. (She was pretty awesome too!) The one thing I don’t see a lot anymore is that my father taught me to respect myself as a woman and to be selective in my choices of men. I’m sure I learned other things, but those are the main traits that make me who I am today.
However, my dad taught me tolerance because when I went through a divorce, my ex-husband had a hard time paying child support. My mother said, “throw the book at him”. My dad agreed with me when I decided to work things out. My ex-husband was a good father, so having him continue to work and provide what he could for his children was more important to me than having him sit in jail.
By the way, my dad turned 81 years old last week, and he’s in great health. Happy Father’s Day Horace!
Dad, Patti & Me
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parenting Coach
http://www.clynnwilliams.com
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Wolves Are Out There – Have you Protected Your Daughter available in summer, 2013
Happy Mother’s Day – Mothers Care!!!
Happy Mother’s Day to all! As my pastor explained yesterday in church, a mother is more than a biological designation. Any woman with the right ‘plumbing’ can have a child. However it takes someone who has nurtured, loved, and encouraged a child that is engaged in the act of mothering. That would explain the close bond that many athletes have with their coaches; how a foster or step parent can join a family and be the very glue that helps that family become close-knit; and how teachers who have never had children of their own, end up parenting hundreds of kids because of their love and concern for those students (my aunt – Priscilla).
I finally get it! As a mother, a coach (for three seasons – OMG) and a step parent, I care. The basic component of mothering is the caring. People thrive when you actively care for them. Caring can be shown in many ways. Maybe you are there to listen. Many teachers do that daily. There are lots of children who are growing up without someone at home to listen to them. A caring teacher who listens is a mother… Maybe you are a step parent or a foster parent or a guardian parent, and the only tie you have to your “child” is because of court appointment or through the legalities of marriage. Show compassion, be kind, care. Your kindness may not be appreciated right away, but in time, your child(ren) will talk about what they liked/loved about you..
Right now you may feel that your children may not appreciate all that you do to help them grow into magnificent men and women. Don’t worry; just keep loving, nurturing, giving, caring and starting all over again tomorrow doing the same thing. During those times when you feel too exhausted or discouraged to continue, pray for guidance and replenishment to continue caring and loving your child(ren). It will pay off in tremendous ways! You will see!
Take the rest of May and celebrate Mother’s Day with me! If you want to compare your parenting styles to the crazy parenting styles of different celebs, click on this link: http://www.crushable.com/2013/05/12/other-stuff/mothers-day-celebrity-parenting-advice/
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentGuru
Author & Parenting Coach
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
How to Turn Your Princess Into a Queen – The Art of Raising an Awesome Daughter available in late spring, 2013
Peer Pressure is REAL
It’s pretty easy to talk about peer pressure in teens. “Watch the people your kids pal around with because they are easily influenced.” I know it’s true because I always knew who my daughter and son hung around; their speech and mannerisms were the same as the new person with whom they had become friends. Many years ago, my mother would say “that girl is going to get you into trouble, stop associating with her.” I hated hearing those words because most times, she was right. In those days trouble meant I would eventually say something that wasn’t tolerated in our home, or ‘act fast’. Anything like that was enough to warrant my mom’s strong admonishment.
Last week on one of those rare evenings when I was out after 9 p.m., I noticed that most of t
he women had on the same type of shoes and wore the same hairstyle. You know the look right? The shoes are what I call the Beyoncé heels and the hair is long and straight. Oh and I forgot to mention the leggings. Most of the ladies wore leggings. Now I’m not just talking about teen girls, women well into their 40’s are wearing these same styles. Some can wear them and look great, others, well let’s just say God made each of us uniquely and we need to develop our own inimitable style of dress.
That’s just the external bowing to peer pressure – looking like your friends. What bothers me is how many people act and think like their friends. Maybe personally you don’t feel the same way that your friend feels, but for example, if your girlfriend or your “boy” thinks somebody is not good enough, you agree. That’s pretty dangerous don’t you think? I mean if we want our children to be independent, critical thinkers, we have to be as well don’t we?
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentGuru
Author & Parenting Coach
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
How to Turn Your Princess Into a Queen – The Art of Raising an Awesome Daughter available in late spring, 2013
Let’s Go Back to Parenting 101
My heart goes out to all of the parents who have lost children, no matter whether it was due to a serious illness, child custody, runaway, and suicide or gun violence. We are seeing troubled times these days, and a large part is probably due to a number of reasons, one being that people have lost their minds! Also in this wonderful, global society we live in, news is reported instantly overwhelming us with tragic news accounts throughout any given day.
Example of someone who has lost his mind: A person that kills a school bus driver, kidnaps an autistic kid and holds him hostage for unknown reasons. http://www.cnn.com/2013/02/05/us/alabama-child-hostage/index.html
Between situations like this and the random (and not so random) shootings that are killing our children at alarming rates, I recommend that we go back to Parenting 101!
Parenting 101 requires:
• That you know where your child is (and your child knows you have eyes watching him or her) at all times.
• Your child comes home directly after school lets out. If (s)he is involved in extracurricular activities, you arrange for your child to be picked up by a family member or trusted family friend
• You know most if not all of your child’s friends.
• You are friends with your neighbors and they have your permission to chastise your child when you are not around.
• Your child is at home, not out on the streets when the streetlights come on.
By the way, it’s also good to eat at least one meal together daily, so that you and your child can talk about the day’s events, possible issues at school with friends or bullies, and share time with each other. Just my parent thought.
C. Lynn Williams, #msparentguru
Author and Parenting Coach
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
A Mother’s Tough Love
I was talking to a close friend the other day, and she shared one of her recent parenting moments with me. Her daughter is a preteen and is becoming more popular in school; starting to notice boys more each day and getting quite a reputation as a great volleyball player. As my mother would say, “she’s feeling her oats”. My friend has stressed the importance of staying focused in school and getting a great education by completing your homework, participating in class, and asking for help when needed. She told her daughter that if she got a ‘D’, she would have to leave home. Ah.. the things we tell our kids.
Well, last week she picked up her daughter from school, and her daughter was crying. My friend immediately wanted to know why she was crying. Are you hurt? Did someone say something to hurt your feelings? What’s wrong? Her daughter told her she got a D on an assignment and she was worried because she knew she hadn’t given her best on that assignment. My friend told her daughter “Well I’m sorry you got a ‘D’ on your assignment, I guess you will have to pack your bags and find somewhere else to live”. Her daughter immediately started crying harder. “But where will I go? I know I didn’t take my time on this assignment? Do you think if I redid the assignment and turned it in to my teacher, you would allow me to stay?” My friend told her she would think about it.
Needless to say, the assignment was redone and submitted, and my friend ‘allowed’ her daughter to stay. In this day of parenting ambiguity and relaxed rules, I believe the move was a courageous one for my friend. Whether her daughter continues to stay focused in school remains to be seen. I do know a good parenting moment took place that day.
What are your thoughts, and tell me what parenting moments have you used to motivate your children?
C. Lynn Williams
Author and Parenting Coach
#MsParentguru
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Parenting the Pampered Prince
How do you feel about deadlines? As a rule, I don’t like deadlines but you must admit, they keep you on track and focused. Our pampered prince has a deadline to re-enroll in school or find a full-time job or else he has to move out. Big risk! Huge consequences! It was necessary because I continue meet you (other mothers) who are sharing horror stories about their sons who live at home expecting to be supported by their parents. Needless to say, these are men who are in their 30s, 40s and 50s.
I was proud that we gave him a deadline, however a part of me wants to continue to mother him, cajol, help, (fill-in-the-blank here) and yet how do I expect him to successfully complete this task if I constantly run after him?
What would you do???
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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