Posts tagged ‘hormones’
Building a Healthy Relationship Between Moms and Daughters: Tips for Strengthening Your Bond
As a mom, creating and maintaining a strong, healthy relationship with your daughter is a journey filled with ups and downs, growth, and learning. A positive relationship is essential for both your emotional well-being and hers, offering her the security and guidance she needs to navigate the world. Here are some tips to help you foster a deeper connection with your daughter:
1. Open Communication is Key
A healthy relationship starts with open, honest communication. Make it a point to listen actively to your daughter’s thoughts and feelings, without judgment or interruption. Whether it’s about school, friendships, or emotions, let her know that she can always come to you with anything on her mind. This creates trust and an emotional safety net.
2. Respect Her Independence
As your daughter grows, she will start seeking more independence. While this might feel like a challenge, it’s an important part of her development. Encourage her to make her own choices and respect her boundaries. This helps her build confidence in her decisions while strengthening her sense of self.
3. Quality Time Together
It’s not always about how much time you spend together, but how meaningful it is. Whether it’s a weekly mother-daughter date, cooking together, or simply having a conversation before bed, make sure to cherish and prioritize moments where you can connect without distractions.
4. Be a Role Model
Your actions speak louder than words. Show your daughter what healthy relationships, both with yourself and others, look like. Model kindness, patience, and the importance of self-care. How you treat yourself and others will have a lasting impact on how she forms relationships in the future.
5. Encourage Emotional Expression
Encourage your daughter to express her feelings freely. Whether she’s happy, sad, frustrated, or excited, acknowledging and validating her emotions teaches her that it’s okay to feel and express them. Show her that emotions are not something to hide, but something to understand and manage in healthy ways.
6. Respect Each Other’s Space
While it’s important to be close, it’s also essential to respect each other’s need for space. Sometimes, your daughter may need time alone to recharge or reflect, and so might you. Understanding and respecting this space is essential for maintaining a healthy dynamic that doesn’t feel suffocating.
7. Practice Patience and Compassion
The road to building a healthy relationship can be bumpy. There will be times of miscommunication, frustration, and even conflict. But when these moments arise, practice patience and compassion. Acknowledge when you’ve made a mistake and be open to working through challenges together.
8. Celebrate Her Uniqueness
Every daughter is unique, and it’s important to celebrate her individuality. Encourage her interests, whether they’re the same as yours or completely different. Show interest in her passions and be her biggest cheerleader. This will help her feel valued for who she is, rather than who she’s expected to be.
Conclusion
During this Women’s History Month, build the story you’ll want told in your family for generations. A healthy relationship with your daughter requires ongoing effort, but the rewards are immeasurable. By focusing on open communication, respecting each other’s boundaries, and offering unconditional support, you’ll foster a bond that lasts a lifetime. Remember, you are both on this journey together, learning and growing every step of the way.
If you’re ready to create a stronger connection with your daughter, Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears and HORMONES! provides the guidance and tools you need to navigate this beautiful journey. Start building the legacy of love and understanding today by grabbing your copy of Raising Your Daughter and take the next step in building the relationship you both deserve!
Want to learn more about how to get along with your family members? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and Sons.
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C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Having Babies is For Grown Women©
I am so mad! “Who are you mad at” I ask myself. I am mad at them AND us! I am mad at all of the young girls who fell for the okeydoke that boys in heat tell them to satisfy their sexual curiosities. I’m mad when the girl’s best friend or mother suggests that they get an abortion and they say “No I plan to take care of this baby by myself.” But they have no idea how. I’m mad at the mothers who don’t talk to their daughters honestly and far enough in advance (age 8) about how our bodies will betray us by thoroughly enjoying that one time of thoroughly enjoyable sex and becoming pregnant. Tell your girls it only takes one time and the next thing you know you have another human being that you are responsible for. For mothers who had babies as teens, and refuse to talk openly with their daughters so that they don’t repeat that cycle of babies having babies, shame on you! Please tell them that taking birth control prevents pregnancy, but if they are promiscuous, they can catch genital herpes, pubic lice or syphilis just to name a few STIs. Tell them that girls are hard-wired differently than boys, and when we have sex, we fall in love. Doesn’t mean you like that boy, but you love him, you stop focusing on things that are important to you, and lose your mind over ‘that boy’.
I’m mad at those girls who are headstrong and expect their mothers and grandmothers to take care of their babies so they can grow up! You need a support system that goes beyond your mother & grandmother. It’s not easy raising kids. So babysit for your girlfriends and ask them to watch your kids too. If you have sisters, ask her to watch your child. If you want to attend college, take your baby with you and place it in the school’s day care center while you attend classes. That’s what grown women do. Will you miss the Friday and Saturday night parties? Probably so…
When I was a pre-teen, my mom & I had the ‘talk’. The gist of the talk was that I was to be respectable and not sleep around. If I couldn’t wait until marriage to have sex, I was to protect myself with birth control. Under no circumstances was I to bring home a baby and not be married to the baby’s father. Then she sent me to Teen Scene, a program initiated by the Chicago area Planned Parenthood to offer sex information and education to teens. They also handed out birth control pills, which makes people mad. Why? Because parents are the ones who are supposed to tell their daughters about sex & birth control right? Okay self- righteous people. Then I’m mad you and at church folk who refuse to remember when they were mistake-making teens and won’t share their experiences with the teens in their church.
I’m mad at men who don’t tell their sons the truth about what it means to be a father at 14 or 15; that being a father is not how many girls you’ve gotten pregnant, but how many children you are able to take care of and watch grow up. Please stop telling your son, “It’s probably not yours”. I realize that some girls have multiple sexual partners, but a word to the wise, if he slept with her, it’s a possibility it’s his! There is nothing wrong with testing for paternity, but also have him get a part-time job, so he can help his girl take care of their baby.
Sex is great, but it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. No, let me rephrase that – sex with a person you love and enjoy is great! The first time it’s probably terrible, especially if your first time is in a boys’ bathroom, in an alley, the back of a car, as a result of rape, or when you are not ready.
The stakes are high. For girls and women who had children while a teen and finished school, raised great kids, this conversation is NOT FOR YOU!
Hey Young Girls who are saving your virginity until you marry; this conversation is NOT FOR YOU! Grown folks, the mistakes of our children, are our mistakes too! Talk to those you mentor with honesty & love.
If you liked what you read, follow my blog for more articles, info and camaraderie with other people just like you & me. Reach out to me on Twitter (@cgwwbook) or Facebook (CGWWBooks)
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parent Coach
www.clynnwilliams.com
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)
If You Make Time, They Will Come..
Ever wonder why we like reality TV? Probably because the stories are so true-life; the characters get to say & do whatever (ridiculous or not) comes to their minds (or the mind of the show’s writer) and there’s always a new angle! Oh most importantly — they are addicting.
Here’s an alternative: You and your daughter take some time 30-60-90 minutes; list your top five issues with each other. Set ground rules and make it ‘safe’ to talk openly & honestly. Promise each other that you will not HOLD Grudges after your time together. For my journalers, write down your thoughts. At my recent Stop Driving Me CraZy Mother – Daughter Retreat, daughters shared that they liked the activities like Mirror-Mirror and Trust Me! Some opened up and told their moms what was on their mind. Mothers enjoyed the video and breakout sessions.
It might feel awkward or ‘fake’, but don’t worry it can breathe life into your relationship. She may act like it doesn’t matter if you both talk or not. But don’t listen to that. Secretly (inside) she is dying for a wonderful relationship with you! Your normally unresponsive, hormonal teen daughter may share things you wouldn’t have imagined. Just try not to flip out if you hear something weird.
By the way, feel free to share this blog post with others and (share) your thoughts with me. I’d love to hear them! My next mother – daughter retreat will be held in November in Chicago, IL. Interested? Email me at clynn@clynnwilliams.com
Happy Relating!
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parent Coach
www.clynnwilliams.com
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Communications, 2013)
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When Parents Make Mistakes
Parents are invincible…infallible…Human!
My husband and I saw Black Nativity last night and I am glad we did! Being a person of color, we usually support movies with African-American actors, directors, film writers during the first weekend the movie airs to support it financially. While I love, Forest Whitaker and Angela Bassett, I’m not crazy about musicals, so I almost missed a golden opportunity. If Black Nativity is still playing in your area, go see it! Anyway I digress… There was a line in the movie that absolutely spoke to me about PARENTING! Rev. Cobbs (Forest Whitaker), the estranged father of Naima (Jennifer Hudson) said “Parents make mistakes…I am so sorry that I meddled in your life.”
Have you ever felt that way about something that occurred between you and your teen or adult child? Were you able to admit it and have an honest conversation with your son or daughter? Or did pride keep you from opening the doors of communication with that person that you love with all of your heart and soul? The movie had another theme that has been really messing up my parenting theory about our teen (or twenty-something) daughters getting pregnant and having children without being married. When my daughter was a teen, we had the ‘SEX’ talk a few times. I wanted to make sure that she understood the consequences to getting pregnant. I felt (and told her) that she would have to move out if she got pregnant before getting married. I felt that way because she, her dad and I talked candidly about waiting until marriage to have sex; if she couldn’t wait then use birth control. I know you’re thinking OMG – it’s okay for her to have sex??? She did not get pregnant, but what if she had? Would I have made her leave home for this mistake? Would we have been estranged? What about her future? Would she have gone to college, grad school, or become the professional woman she is today?
Well, no I didn’t want her to have sex, but let’s be honest here; part of the teen experience is that LOVELY puberty that starts to occur to our kids when they turn 12 or 13. The boys you couldn’t stand in fifth and sixth grade, now start to look a little less like wimps and more like hotties! A kiss on the lips, turns into raging hormones! Right?!? If your daughter loses control (and has sex) she’s screwed (no pun intended) unless she is taking birth control. Again I digress. So for mothers like me who take that hard line, what are our daughters supposed to do if they find themselves pregnant? That was the dilemma of Mary (Grace Gibson), the very pregnant and homeless teen in Black Nativity. She said, “I made a mistake and was kicked out. I have nowhere to go, so here I am pregnant and homeless.”
The other theme that caught my interest was the relationship between the mom (Naima) and her teenaged son (Langston). God, she really loved him (and he loved her too), but as a single mom trying to make a living for the two of them, she was unequipped to offer him the masculine discipline & love that he needed to grow into a man. Well I won’t tell the entire story, but I’d like to end with this: if you, and your son or daughter have not spoken to each other because of miscommunications or disappointments, reach out and call them and begin to mend the fences. There is nothing worse that not having an opportunity to say “I’m sorry” and having regrets for the rest of your life.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parent Coach
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Communications, 2013)
Waiting for Real Love
Do people fall in love anymore? With dating services like E Harmony, Match.com and Christian Mingles, do people marry for convenience, or do people actually wait for Mr. (or Mrs.) Right to come along? I remember a conversation that I had years ago with my aunt. She wasn’t happy with the man that I planned to marry, and in so many words, told me so! She preferred that I marry a doctor or lawyer to have “the finer things in life”. That would have been okay, except that I had to be in love with the man I planned to marry.
My girlfriend feels the same way too. Her very complicated life has recently gotten a lot simpler and she says if she ever marries again, it will be the kind of “hard to breathe”, “can’t sleep at night without thinking about him” kind of love. I mean face it, if you marry someone for money or looks, both could vanish overnight right? A couple in New York felt the same way and married each other 35 years after falling in love at first sight! Okay maybe I wouldn’t wait that long. Oh the power of true love!
Click here to read the article: http://tiny.cc/tsx41w 
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parent Coach
My Books:
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! Available August, 2013 – preorder starts Aug 23rd http://raisingyourdaughterpresale-esli.eventbrite.com/#!
Is Your Teen Hormonal or Food Addicted?
Teaching puts me in touch with a lot of people – the young & not so young. What I found is that there is not much difference in the dietary habits of students. While teaching my high school students, it was pretty common to see bags of flaming hot Cheetos and red punch for breakfast. Could all of that burning red colored junk food be good for them? What was even more interesting was the number of overweight kids, those who had high blood pressure, diabetes, AD/HD or were autistic. That data got my complete attention and prompted this blog topic.
When I was growing up (light years ago), most of us kids were healthy and skinny. There was no local McDonalds was just starting and Burger King had just introduced the Whopper. We rarely ate out and potato chips were eaten with burgers (occasionally). Has it ever occurred to you how much of our food is genetically modified? I mean can a chicken wing actually be the size that many of them are without the help of growth hormones (additives). I read an article over the weekend by a person identifying herself as ‘the Food Babe’ where she talks about food that is manufactured for Americans is vastly different from food manufactured for Europeans, Chinese and other countries. http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2013/07/07/van-hari-food-babe.aspx
According to the ‘Food Babe’, food manufacturers are allowed to produce genetically modified (GMs) foods and many of the processed foods that we eat contain products that contain preservatives and synthetic food dyes that are banned in other countries. As you read this, we still eat seven foods that have been banned in Europe, like chlorinated chickens, bovine growth hormone, pesticides, food contact chemicals like phthalates & bisphenols (products found in plastic that makes them soft & moldable), food dyes (Red 40, Yellow 5, etc.).
http://www.treehugger.com/green-food/7-foods-banned-in-europe-still-available-in-the-us.html
Now think about those wonderful teens of ours who are already hormonal. Hormonal changes that make them love you one minute and hate you the next. I was a hormonal teen, you probably were too! However, classroom control issues, anger management issues, or worse yet, depression, suicide and physical health issues may be easily avoided if we put ourselves and our children on sugar-free, GM free, dairy-free alkaline diets. Still interested in those ‘flaming hots’?
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parenting Coach
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter: the Joys, Tears & Hormones available in late summer, 2013
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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