Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens

When College Feels Too Far From Home: Helping Your Homesick Student—and Yourself

September 2, 2026 at 10:02 pm Leave a comment

It’s September.

The dorm rooms are decorated. Classes have started. Parents have made the drive home, unpacked the empty trunk, and returned to a house that suddenly feels a little… different.

I was 17 years old when I went away to college.

And I was SO homesick.

I called my mother every single day.

Every. Single. Day. 😂

I missed home. I missed my mother. I missed what was familiar. I missed knowing where everything was and who everyone was.

At 17, I was technically a college student, but emotionally, I was still a kid who had just been dropped into a completely new world.

Looking back, I realize something I didn’t understand then:

I wasn’t failing at college. I was adjusting to a completely new life.

And I’m sure there were days when my mother had to listen to me say, in one way or another, “I want to come home.”

Now, as a parent coach, I think about those conversations very differently.

Because when our children leave for college, they aren’t the only ones adjusting.

We are, too.

The dorm room may be theirs, but the empty bedroom at home belongs to us.

And sometimes, let’s be honest, the parent is homesick, too.

Maybe your child called you crying.

And if you’re like many parents, your first instinct may be:

“Come home. We’ll figure it out.”

But before you book that ticket or make the four-hour drive, take a breath.

Homesickness doesn’t necessarily mean your child made the wrong decision. Sometimes it simply means they are adjusting to something new.

You spent years preparing your child to leave home.

But nobody really prepares you for what it feels like when they actually do.

So how can you help your college student—and yourself—through those first difficult weeks?

1. Listen before you try to fix it.

When your child calls upset, resist the urge to immediately solve the problem.

Instead, ask:

“Tell me what’s making today hard.”

Sometimes they don’t need a solution. They need a safe place to land emotionally.

Let them talk.

2. Remind them that adjustment takes time.

College is a major transition.

New people.
New expectations.
New routines.
New responsibilities.

Encourage your student to give themselves permission to feel uncomfortable while they learn their new environment.

A hard day doesn’t mean they are having a bad college experience.

It means they’re having a hard day.

3. Help them create a sense of home where they are.

Ask questions that move them toward connection:

• Have you found a place you really like on campus?
• Have you met anyone you feel comfortable with?
• What activities are available?
• Have you explored the campus?
• What’s one thing you enjoyed this week?

The goal isn’t to make them forget home.

It’s to help them begin creating another place where they belong.

4. Establish a communication routine.

This one is important.

You don’t have to talk five times a day to stay connected.

Maybe it’s a morning text.

A Sunday video call.

A Wednesday “just checking on you” message.

Find a rhythm that gives your child connection without making them feel like they’re still living at home.

And parents, remember:

You don’t have to know everything that’s happening in their lives anymore.

That’s part of growing up.

5. Don’t make every conversation about college.

Ask about something else.

What did they watch?

What made them laugh?

What are they eating?

Did they find a good coffee shop?

What’s happening with their roommate?

Sometimes your child needs to remember that their relationship with you is bigger than grades, classes, and whether they’re adjusting perfectly.

6. And Mom… what are YOU going to do?

This may be the hardest question.

Because while you’re encouraging your child to build a life, you have to continue building yours, too.

Make plans.

Reconnect with friends.

Start the project you’ve been putting off.

Take the class.

Go to dinner.

Read the book.

Enjoy your quiet house.

And yes—miss your child.

You don’t have to pretend you’re not sad.

You just don’t want your sadness to become the reason your child feels guilty for growing.

One more thing…

If your child is struggling beyond ordinary homesickness—if you’re seeing persistent distress, isolation, inability to function, or signs that something more serious may be happening—don’t dismiss it as “just homesickness.”

Reach out to the college’s counseling or student support services and get additional help.

Sometimes loving our children means knowing when we aren’t the ones who need to fix it.

A Parent Coach Reminder

Your child’s transition to college is also your transition.

You are both learning how to have a relationship that looks different from the one you’ve known for years.

That’s not a loss.

It’s an evolution.

So the next time your college student calls and says,

“I just want to come home,”

you don’t have to panic.

Take a breath.

Listen.

Love them.

And then help them take the next small step toward finding their footing.

Because sometimes being a good parent isn’t about bringing them back home.

Sometimes it’s about giving them the courage—and the confidence—to find home wherever they are.

What about you?

If you’ve sent a child off to college, I’d love to hear from you:

Was your child homesick—or were YOU the homesick one? ❤️

C. Lynn Williams

Parent Coach | Author | Speaker | Educator

Entry filed under: Parenting. Tags: #collegefreshman, #collegeparent, #emptynestfeelings, #familytransitions, #lettinggo, #momlife, #motherhoodunfiltered, #parentingadultchildren.