Posts filed under ‘cultural’

How to Motivate Our Kids

Did you ever take music lessons or practice a sport to become the best? It’s called deliberate practice and there are important life skills that children learn when they practice becoming better at something. One lesson that comes up for me is resilience. My daughter wanted to take dance lessons, and once she started attending the class, she decided she didn’t like it and wanted to quit. That happens often with children. They will like something because their friends like it. The challenge is getting them to stick it out until a natural ending like a concert or the season ends. Requiring them to finish at a natural ending point, teaches tolerance.

You see it a lot in some cultures where practice is relentless, but the outcomes are amazing. I think about the Olympics and Russians gymnasts. I thought they excelled because of their over-the-top work ethic. I also think about Chinese students and music. Practice makes their performances better!

This deliberate practice requires us (as parents) to perform our show and tell. It’s one thing to tell your child to go and practice their clarinet. It’s quite a different feeling when you share with them that on your job or in your business, you have goals to attain and the better that you are at setting those goals, the better you are at mastering them and achieving them or smashing them!

Parents, we have an opportunity here to build excellence no matter what your economic or social standing. When your kids are with you, get them to do more of what they like and practice it until it is amazing. You notice I’m not saying perfect because perfect means there’s no room to grow and be better and there’s always room to grow and be better. I’m also suggesting that you allow them to do something that they like, as opposed to what you like for them. It’s less of a struggle

By the way, this is not just a skill for musically and sports inclined children. For the kids who love academics; who love reading; who love writing; who love tech; help them find tune that skill and motivate them to become outliers.

An outlier is a person that stands out from all other members of a particular group or set. They stand out! That’s a positive thing. Our children are born with gifts that require motivation, nurturing and fine-tuning to stand out. As parents, this is what we can offer our children:

  • A safe home environment
  • Food to eat
  • Love
  • Encouragement
  • Structure

Sometimes the gifts that live inside of our child, are quite different from ours or anyone within our family. It doesn’t make the gift wrong or strange… just different.

So practice motivating your child and that gift of theirs, while they are on summer break. If you haven’t already seen their brilliance peek out, keep watching.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

June 26, 2019 at 5:58 pm Leave a comment

Stop Telling Me NO!

A couple of weekends ago I took a break from my duties as a teacher chaperone (weekend regional studnoent competition), and went shopping. I don’t shop often for a number of reasons, primarily it takes more time than I want and I impulse buy – not good.

This shopping excursion was a little different because Mother’s Day  was around the corner and there were lots of families shopping together. I did tell you how much I LOVE people watching? Well while people watching, I noticed several mothers and how they managed their children.

One little toddler kept walking toward the counters trying to pull the clothes toward him. His mama didn’t say “Hey Jonathan stop that!” She did something interesting. Instead she redirected him away from the counter of clothing. Being a child with a mission, he made his way back to that counter at least three more times. Each time she redirected him. #Patience

As exhausting as raising a toddler can be, I was surprised and amazed at how calmly this mom worked with her young son. It reminded me of a story a nanny told me recently. The nanny (Janie) interviewed for a job and was told that under no circumstances could she tell the couple’s children ‘No‘. She could tell them the consequences of their actions – don’t tell them NO! If she used the word No with them, she would be fired immediately! During that same shopping excursion, I watched and listened as other mothers yelled across the aisles to their kids – No! Shut up! Come here NOW! Don’t do that!  The Caucasian mom redirected her son; the African American mothers yelled. Was it cultural? My mother didn’t have to yell at us. She just looked at us and we knew to behave. Don’t remember how she treated us as toddlers.

Interesting huh? Is that a more informed way of parenting? Are the ‘No’ children calmer, more obedient or are we setting up our kids to fail?

 

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parent Coach
www.clynnwilliams.com

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Communications, 2013)

May 9, 2014 at 4:26 pm Leave a comment


Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 14,567 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 11,450 hits

Contact Info

(224) 357-6315
Online: 8 am - 8 pm

Follow me on Twitter


tembceducation

"From Crayon to Career" Resources to provide sustainabilty to your educational practices and training

WILDsound Festival

Weekly Film Festival in Toronto & Los Angeles. Weekly screenplay & story readings performed by professional actors.

You can't argue with crazy

Migraines suck, and other tidbits of my life!