Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens

Stop Telling Me NO!

May 9, 2014 at 4:26 pm Leave a comment

A couple of weekends ago I took a break from my duties as a teacher chaperone (weekend regional student competition), and went shopping. I don’t shop often for a number of reasons, primarily it takes more time than I want and I impulse buy – not good.

This shopping excursion was a little different because Mother’s Day  was around the corner and there were lots of families shopping together. I did tell you how much I LOVE people watching? Well while people watching, I noticed several mothers and how they managed their children.

One little toddler kept walking toward the counters trying to pull the clothes toward him. His mama didn’t say “Hey Jonathan stop that!” She did something interesting. Instead she redirected him away from the counter of clothing. Being a child with a mission, he made his way back to that counter at least three more times. Each time she redirected him. #Patience

As exhausting as raising a toddler can be, I was surprised and amazed at how calmly this mom worked with her young son. It reminded me of a story a nanny told me recently. The nanny (Janie) interviewed for a job and was told that under no circumstances could she tell the couple’s children ‘No‘. She could tell them the consequences of their actions – don’t tell them NO! If she used the word No with them, she would be fired immediately! During that same shopping excursion, I watched and listened as other mothers yelled across the aisles to their kids – No! Shut up! Come here NOW! Don’t do that!  The Caucasian mom redirected her son; the African American mothers yelled. Was it cultural? My mother didn’t have to yell at us. She just looked at us and we knew to behave. Don’t remember how she treated us as toddlers.

Interesting huh? Is that a more informed way of parenting? Are the ‘No’ children calmer, more obedient or are we setting up our kids to fail?

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parent Coach
www.clynnwilliams.com

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Communications, 2013)

Entry filed under: childrearing, cultural, Parenting, racial differences, traditional parenting. Tags: African American, black, Caucasian, children, cultural differences, Ethnicity, Hispanic, parenting, people watching, white.