Posts filed under ‘fathers’

Kids Do the Darnedest Things

I have the cutest great nephew, and one day he said s*~t. He was two years old and we couldn’t understand where he heard a word like that and could repeat it so clearly. Periodically, swear words are sprinkled throughout his conversations especially when he gets frustrated. It doesn’t really matter where he picked up his irreverent language, just know that he was imitating someone close to him (that he respected).

Young children are like sponges and they pick up our words, phrases and mannerisms so easily. They watch us to determine how they should act, and then they surprise us with an exact replica of ourselves. That’s one of the things they do quite well without any prompting from us.

I said young children didn’t I? Actually it doesn’t matter how old our child is, they imitate our behaviors whether positive or negative.

Both my parents smoked like sailors as I was growing up. The first semester that I was home from college, I lit up a cigarette in front of my mother. She was horrified and asked “Why are you smoking?” I told her that since she did it, I’d decided to smoke too. Then we had a conversation about her addiction to cigarettes. She begged me to stop and that was the first (and last) cigarette I smoked.

Here are five thoughts to remember as your kids continue to grow:

  • Watch your language
  • Manage your temper (no popping off)
  • Model kindness
  • Be open (for them to talk)
  • LISTEN

Enjoy your family and have a Happy Thanksgiving.

 

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

clynnwilliams.com

November 17, 2018 at 2:05 pm Leave a comment

Why Dads Have to Add Their Two Cents

When I think back to my childhood, I don’t remember my father voicing his opinions often. So when he did, it was crystal clear and quite memorable. As I got older, I realized how important his opinions were in relationship to my career decisions and the men that I dated or married. One thing about many dads is that they are quiet when it comes to the day-to-day workings of household activities and child-rearing. It may not be that way in your household, and many of the millennial fathers are very present in their opinions and in the raising of their children. I prefer that style of parenting because the energy that fathers offer is very different from the energy of mothers. Dads don’t freak out as easily as we moms do. This is quite helpful for your emotional child (tween or teen) who has daily fits of hysteria. 

The other things about fathers is that they use less words to get their point across. Less words gives your brain a chance to hear and process what was said. They also don’t repeat what they’ve said, so you have to listen and get it the first time (most dads anyway). I like that technique and share it in my Pampered Prince book to help mothers who are raising sons, communicate more effectively.

Yesterday I saw an article about a group of dads – Dads4Justice, who were pretty pissed off with how Kellogg’s was marketing their Coco Pops cereal. They considered the slogan sexist and protested to Kellogg’s. The slogan has since been changed. Click here to read the entire article. 

If you haven’t spoken to your dad in a while, give him a call. You may be surprised at what he might tell you.

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact meMs. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

September 6, 2018 at 12:56 pm Leave a comment

Have You Established A School Routine?

When I was in elementary and high school, my mother started preparing my siblings and me for our 1st day of school several weeks in advance. She changed our bedtimes and reduced our outside playing time to prepare us for the new school year. It didn’t make sense at the time, but the transition to school was smoother and we weren’t sleepy in the mornings. 

Once I had children of my own, having a routine, made a lot of sense. And as a former high school teacher, I could tell which students had routines at home and those who didn’t. Email me back if you want to know how I knew….

If you are dreading the first week of school and wondering how you are going to prepare for a new routine where everyone is on time to where they are going – l CAN HELP!

As a Back to School gift to all parents who are getting children of all ages back into the groove of school, I am offering you a gift of peace instead of chaotic mornings and bedtimes. To receive this gem of information, join my parent community. I promise that your contact information will be safe and is not for sale by me or anyone on my staff.

Below is a link to preschool, elementary and high school routines that I created to help you help your child get into the groove of school as easily as possible. 

CLICK HERE

If your current routines aren’t working to your satisfaction, build a new set of routines this year. The routines will teach your children how to manage themselves and their time for better success in school. Have a great school year!

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

August 29, 2018 at 9:14 pm Leave a comment

Father and Daughter Relationships

There is NOTHING like a great father & daughter relationship. When I say great, I mean the father is active in his daughter’s life. They spend time together, and talk about most topics (some are still Mom-only topics like menstrual periods and bra sizes) and they listen to each other. But most importantly, dads are a girl’s first male relationship. How he responds or doesn’t respond to her can color her relationships with men forever. 

I had a great dad. He was the go-to person when my mother felt she needed the other parent to step in. He was also the fun parent. He would play with us (until he had had enough), as a teen, I could talk to him, when there was no one else to talk to. He was a sane voice I needed to hear, when I went through divorce. Yet he was flawed at the strangest times. #newbook

As part of my research for my new father-daughter book, I have an online survey for fathers and one for daughters. I would appreciate it if you completed it. I will also conduct a focus group, so email me if you would like to be a part of it.

Daughter Survey

Father Survey

Thank you in advance for your support!

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

March 14, 2018 at 3:00 pm Leave a comment

How to Successfully Communicate With Adult Children

When my children were little, we discussed lots of different topics with them and encouraged them to talk (to us) about anything. Things that were going on in their school, with their classmates, in our family and current events were all fair game. It didn’t matter whether we liked or agreed with their thoughts or not, we encouraged them to talk about whatever was going on in their lives. 

I believed if we listened to their small issues, they would be comfortable talking with us about their bigger (scarier or life threatening) issues. While I’m sure we didn’t hear everything that occurred in their lives, listening taught me three amazing lessons!

  • Like what my kids liked
  • Be open-minded
  • Ask questions of interest

These three tips allowed me to stay relevant with my children as they became adults. As I approached adulthood, I had secrets that I never shared with my mom or dad. I didn’t want to be judged or reminded, so I didn’t share many things that were going on in my life. As much as I loved my parents, I didn’t want to hear them say, “OMG why’d you do that?” No adult really wants to hear that.

However, I wanted a more open relationship with my children, especially as they became adults. I wanted to stay relevant in their lives. As an example, I liked rock music growing up. When my son realized that I was OPEN to listening to grunge and alternative music, he would invite me to listen to new songs that he liked. “Hey Mom, listen to this.” Keeping that doorway open into his adulthood, allowed to me ask him, “So what’s new?” He could choose to either tell me about some new music he liked, or share a more personal thought or concern.

The same was true with my daughters. I wasn’t afraid to share some of my ‘young woman’ mistakes with them, hoping they wouldn’t make those same mistakes. In turn, they were comfortable sharing their life with me. On the way to learning more about them, I continue to learn more about myself. Isn’t life grand?

It’s never too late to start a conversation with your children. If it’s a new experience, start small, but be consistent. The rewards will change your relationship in a positive way.

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

February 11, 2018 at 5:01 pm Leave a comment

How to Best Support Your (Child) Athlete Before They Are Sexually Abused

I have a young great-niece named Alyssa who is amazing. She taught herself how to do backflips watching YouTube videos. She was such a natural athlete, that she’s starting on one of the leading gymnastics teams in Illinois.

But That’s not why I’m telling you about Alyssa. As I listen to the most recent stories about adult gymnasts who were sexually abused and violated as children by Larry Nassar, I think about our sons and daughters who are young athletes. I hope sexual abuse will never happen to them.

According to childwelfare.gov, your daughter has a 1 in 4 chance and your son has a 1 in 6 chance of being molested. That’s pretty scary!

If a coach or doctor touched your child inappropriately would she or he be able to tell you what was happening? Don’t worry about the authorities, believing that a violation had taken place. How would you handle the situation?

According to Everyday Feminism, many kids are afraid to tell their parents that they’ve been sexually abused, because they are afraid that they will be in trouble. Let’s be proactive instead.

Here are 5 ways to talk to your kids about sexuality and abuse:

1. Have calm, casual conversations about appropriate & inappropriate touch – often.

2. Begin talking to them as young as 2 years old. Make the conversations age appropriate.

3. Teach them the actual names of their private parts.

4. Share the only instances when their private parts can be seen and touched.

5. Let them know what appropriate and inappropriate touching is.

It’s important that your child know they have the right to control their bodies. Help them feel comfortable to talk about their body to you (as their parent) and to tell you immediately if someone touches them inappropriately. Most important – please believe them if they tell you someone has touched them (inappropriately), no matter who it is.

I would love to hear your thoughts. Please feel free to comment in the Reply section below.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

 

January 22, 2018 at 4:57 pm Leave a comment

Question for You!

What should you do if you don’t like your kid? “I didn’t want a child, but my husband did. So we had a child. She is cared for by my husband and his parents. She is 4, and talks constantly. She’s driving me crazy. What can I do?”


(This question was posed on one of my online networks for parents, and it really touched my heart)

How would you advise this mom? I’d love to hear back from you. I’ll print the first 5 responses (serious answers only, no sarcasm please) in next week’s blog.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
www.clynnwilliams.com/contact

October 4, 2017 at 6:55 am Leave a comment

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