Modern Moms Embrace The Holidays 🦃🎅🏽🎄

Thanksgiving is right around the corner and Christmas soon after. How are you feeling? Is the stress building up?

I am so excited 😆 about seeing my new grandson Baby A, my kids and the many family members that will join us for dinner. However, I think about all of the things that need to get done 😝before we sit down to Thanksgiving dinner. It’s pretty overwhelming!

I’m a list creator, so I’ll create a list of things that need to be done like grocery shopping (3 different stores), chop up onions and celery for the dressing, clean off my kitchen counter… 😩

One of the biggest things for me is deciding what to do first 🤔? The second biggest thing I need to think about is who can I delegate the tasks to that I don’t want to do??

What about you? Which best describes you getting ready for Thanksgiving or any other major holiday?

I can’t wait for the holidays” or “I’m exhausted just thinking about all that I need to do to get ready for the holidays”.

I have to admit that I love the holidays, but it’s also easy to feel completely overwhelmed, especially if you like things to be done perfectly. If you’re the type of person who has a thousand tasks, then creating a timeline will help you tremendously! A timeline also allows you to decide who can help you with tasks, whether other family members live with you or are willing to come by and help out.

If you’re a single parent and your kiddos are too young to help with the tasks, think about cutting down on some of the holiday tasks, so that you’re not overwhelmed. For example you may decide, not to decorate the outside of the house or perhaps you get an artificial tree instead of a real one because there’s less clean-up after the holidays.

As you put together a timeline of the things that need to be done, be sure to schedule time for something fun for you too. Book a hot stones massage, attend a yoga class or schedule girls’ night out.

Yes the majority of the responsibility for keeping holiday traditions and customs falls to “Mom”. But… it doesn’t mean that we have to be exhausted and irritable once guests arrive.

I talk about these and more ways to help busy moms reenergize in my upcoming online course. There are five seats left. Reply to this email to hold your seat.

These concepts work whether you are married and busy or single and busy. Stop letting holiday blues get you down and let’s “deck the halls” together.

Happy Thanksgiving 🍁🦃

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

clynnwilliams.com

November 20, 2019 at 4:17 pm Leave a comment

8 Tips for Saving Money When Shopping for Halloween at Walmart

By guest blogger – Kristin Louis

The spooky season is upon us, and with it comes shopping and prep work. If you’re tight on money, it can be a bit intimidating to think of all the stuff you need to buy, especially with Christmas just a couple of months down the line. That’s why we have collected the best tips to save cash while shopping for Halloween at your favorite stores like Walmart.

Look for Rakuten Cash Back Opportunities

The single best thing you can do to save money while shopping at big-box retailers is to keep an eye out for coupons and promo codes. Rakuten is a great place to look, with hundreds of great deals at stores like Walmart, Target, Amazon, and Macy’s. So, before you start shopping, check out Rakuten to see what cash back opportunities are available.

Set a Budget

Before you start shopping, it helps to decide how much money you are willing to spend on Halloween. Bear in mind the costs of upcoming holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas, as well as how much you usually spend. The good news is that Halloween doesn’t tend to be a particularly expensive holiday: the average American spends $86.79 a year on the holiday.

Buy Cheaper Pumpkins

If going to a pumpkin patch every year is part of your family tradition, you can skip this one. However, if all you want is a pumpkin you can carve with your family, chances are it will be a lot cheaper if you head to the grocery store or to a big-box store. A large pumpkin from a pumpkin patch can cost as much as $14 to $20, while Walmart sells them for as little as $5.

Get Crafty with Your Decorations

Why spend loads of money on mass-produced plastic decorations when you can achieve great results with some basic craft supplies and some creativity? Redbook has a great collection of craft projects that are perfect for working on as a family. Try the adorable paper bats or flower pot spider with young kids, or get teens involved in making some bloody-looking candles.


DIY Your Costume

Homemade costumes aren’t just cheaper than their store-bought counterparts; they are also a lot more fun and creative. You can find loads of great homemade costume ideas online, from the super basic to more advanced and original projects like a disco ball or a cactus.

Have a Costume Swap Party

Another option if you want to save money on costumes is to organize a costume swap with friends or, if you have kids, with other parents. Green Child Magazine recommends setting up a costume swap in your local community and giving it enough time for everyone to get organized. The first Saturday of October is ideal, but any time around the start of the month also works.

Shop Around for the Best Candy Deals

Don’t start panic-buying candy the second it comes onto the shelves. Most major stores have great bulk deals during the month of October, so it pays to be strategic. According to Good Housekeeping, some of the best places to buy candy this year are Target, Walmart, and Party City. Where possible, combine sales with those online coupons to get an extra good deal.

Makeup, Not Masks

Scary Halloween masks can be expensive, but that’s not the only downside. As an adult, they are inconvenient and get in the way of drinking or eating, and for a child, they can be unsafe. Instead of buying a mask, learn how to do some cool Halloween makeup with tutorials. Bonus points if you can do it with regular makeup items you can pick up at the drugstore.

Halloween doesn’t have to be expensive. In fact, the more creative you get with your costumes, decorations, and activities, the more fun you are going to have. Start planning your shopping now so you can focus on putting together the perfect Halloween for your friends and family. Then, once November rolls around, don’t forget to look out for those deals on candy!

Happy Halloween!

October 23, 2019 at 12:04 pm Leave a comment

Have a Son – Be Prepared to Be Swept Off Your Feet

My grandson is 7 months old and his personality is coming out more and more. I’m always happy to hear about his latest discovery and activity. While my daughter and son-in-law believe in Baby A sleeping in his own bed, lately he has been sleeping in theirs.

My daughter says she woke up one morning and Baby A had his arm around her neck, like a boyfriend and she was amused. Her hubby wasn’t…

Here’s what I know:

Moms are the first “girl” that their son knows…

He quickly learns that she takes care of him a lot, especially if she is breastfeeding him.

She plays with him and he loves it, so he gives her attention and unconditional love.

Unconditional love is intoxicating like a delicious bottle of wine…

You can’t get enough of it.

As baby boys get older, they bring their “favorite girl” (Mom) flowers (dandelions), gifts (worms or rocks) and anything else that will make her smile. Mom of course loves the gifts and the attention, and now the sweeping off your feet is taking place.

There is nothing like a son. Depending on his home environment, he will always be concerned about “Mom”. It’s a wonderful relationship to have as long as we remember that our sons will grow up, fall in love and leave home.

Let him and welcome the person that he chooses.

He will always be your son and you will always be his mother.

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics?

Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

October 10, 2019 at 1:37 pm Leave a comment

Lessons Learned Don’t Have to Be Seen As Mistakes

Last week, I was giving myself a good talking to because I kept finding mistakes with a project I was working on. Once I realized the negative self-talk that was happening in my head, I stopped and talked to myself. Now before you think I’m crazy, think for minute about how you self-correct.

You do self-correct, right?

So, let’s get back to the mistakes… No one likes to make them; however, they are part of what makes us human, and often we learn more from mistakes than we do from anything else.

I reminded myself that I was learning something new (about the topic and myself) and what was important was the lessons that I was learning. There was nothing wrong with making mistakes. What the Universe was also showing me, was that I consider myself a lifelong learner. How can you be a true learner, without making mistakes.

Here’s what I was saying to myself: I was so ready to beat myself up and throw in the towel! What was wrong with me? Why was I making so many mistakes?

I thought about these negative messages and wondered if my peers (that are women) talk the same way to themselves? And, do my peers that are men talk to themselves the way we women do when they make mistakes?

I also had to tell myself that I learned more that day from that series of mistakes than I learned when I do things in what I consider an organized way.

The other question that I thought about on that day, is how many of us, self-correct the negative thoughts we have before we talk to our children and/or the people that work for us?

Lessons learned don’t have to be seen as mistakes…

They are just lessons learned

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

September 26, 2019 at 4:44 pm Leave a comment

The Voices Heard Before Suicide

Suicide is a profound tragedy…

My daughter was a young girl when my brother committed suicide. I was devastated. He had been suffering with a chronic illness and told us he was praying to die, while we prayed for him to live.

He had talked about dying years before that because he was so unhappy. Suicide is seldom unplanned, and victims leave clues.

It is up to us to pay attention to those clues and intervene. That’s easy to say, and harder to do. There are lots of external influences that will make it challenging to notice the clues.

These days children are dealing with life issues that they don’t want to talk about. Bullying. Sexual abuse. Peer pressure. Parental expectations. Excelling in school. These issues are further exacerbated by the separatism that technology provides. Many of these issues young people face without appropriate coping skills. When an unpleasant event occurs they feel that life can’t go on and so they attempt suicide or they are successful. 🤯

I recently heard the story of a good kid who received detention at school and then was reprimanded by his s parents at home. Concerned that he had jeopardized his chances to get into a Ivy League school for college; he committed suicide. Did he leave any clues that he was fragile?

What about the girl who can no longer face school or online bullies and decides that suicide is a better alternative to living. What behaviors did her parents notice before she took her life?

How do we stop this madness?

Suicide is beyond devastating! It’s really bad when it happens to a child that you think is safe; has a good life; and looks normal.

Are there warning signs? They’re probably aren’t many if any unless you are watching intently and you are in tune with your child; even then there’s no guarantee that you will be aware of what’s going on.

Here is what I can tell you:

• Watch for changes of behavior

• Mood swings

• Quiet and withdrawn in an otherwise outgoing joyous kid

There’s no guarantee that you’ll catch the clues then, but it least if you start a conversation beyond ‘how was your day’; if you talk about how to build resilience; if you let your child know that there is nothing worth taking their life over…

Have those hard conversations now when everything is good. Let your child know that correcting their behavior is your job, but that you are always proud of them and love them.

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

August 30, 2019 at 3:37 pm 2 comments

Do You Know the Difference Between Nurturing and Spoiling?

spoiled child or spoiled brat is a derogatory term aimed at children who exhibit behavioral problems from being overindulged by their parents.

Do You Know the Difference Between Nurturing and Spoiling?

Let’s test your parental emotional quotient (EQ):

  1. What’s your response when your child falls (after you just told him to stop running) and he skins his knees?
  2. You hug him and remind him that if he’s not careful, he can fall and hurt himself.
  3. You scold him for running and tell him it was his fault that he fell.

How you answer that question has everything to do with how you were raised and what sense of security you are instilling in your child.
To have a happy, outgoing child, requires that you treat him (her) with patience, openness, love and kindness. You will not spoil your child by giving them hugs and kisses. You will cultivate a child that understands what love feels like and how to be kind.
Behavior correction (Discipline) is needed too, as long as it’s done:

  • In moderation
  • Age appropriately
  • With clarity so that the child understands why

Often we may respond harshly or sarcastically to our child when what we really feel is our own fears (taking over) and feeling uncertain about how best to respond.

Depending on how we were treated as a child, nurturing was considered spoiling a child. There are many adults who are nurture-deficient and are looking for ways to feel better about who they are.

Spoiling a child is giving in to her (his) whims over and over. Nurturing a child is comforting them (mistakes made or not), listening without judgement, and caring how they feel.

I grew up in a generation where a child’s feelings were seldom taken into account unless he or she was sick. She was considered clingy if she needed hugs and kisses. Most likely she was told to “grow up” or “stop being a baby”.

I wanted well-adjusted, emotionally stable children, so I hugged a lot , and loved them as much as possible. As I matured, I learned to listen more.
My best advice is to follow your heart when it comes to your children. If it feels right to sit and hold them…

Give lots of hugs and kisses. Listen… alot.
If your parents or in-laws harass you about “spoiling” your kids, tell them like I told my father-in-law: “you can’t give too much love to your kids.”

Have daddy-daughter issues? My newest book, Daddy & Daughter Thoughts, addresses the complex and ever-evolving relationship between fathers and their daughters. Download your copy here: https://amzn.to/2JhPD8y

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author

August 10, 2019 at 2:29 pm Leave a comment

What Babies Mean When They Cry

We were flying to Charleston, SC and there were lots of families on the flight with babies or young children. Two toddlers got my complete attention because of how intense and long their cries were. Both were toddler boys and the one on the airplane cried for about 30-45 minutes – probably because his ears were popping as we descended. I felt so sorry for him and his mom. 

The other little boy was strapped in a stroller (at the airport) and none of his “kin” would take him out and soothe him. He was miserable!

I ❤️ watching children and their parents interact just because… Kids make parents earn their parent wings everyday because they are so unpredictable. Yet if you are in tune with your baby or very young child, you will be able to interpret what their crying means. 

Since babies and often young children can’t communicate in words we understand, their crying means different things at different times. A baby may cry if she’s too hot or cold, if she’s lonely, if she needs a change of scenery and wants to move around, or if she just needs to “let it all out.”

I suspect if the child in the airplane had been allowed to walk up and down the aisle, he would have settled down.

Here are several reasons that babies cry:

I’m hungry

Listen for: A low-pitched, rhythmic, repetitive cry, combined with other signals such as rooting for the breast, a sucking motion with her tongue, lip-smacking, or putting her fingers into her mouth.

My grandson does this and my daughter says to him “Oh you’re hungry huh?” They understand each other perfectly.

I’m tired or uncomfortable

Listen for: A whiny, nasal, continuous cry that builds in intensity is usually baby’s signal that she’s had enough (as in, “Nap, please!” — usually accompanied by yawns, eye-rubs or ear-tugs) or is otherwise uncomfortable (“I need a clean diaper” or “I can’t get comfortable in this car seat”). 

You will notice this in malls where Mom has been shopping and forgotten that her baby is on a schedule. The baby starts with a mild cry that builds in intensity. “Hurry up and take care of me Mom!

I’ve had enough

Listen for: Get ready for a fussy, whiny cry. She may try to turn her head or body away from over stimulating sights or sounds. 

This is a good time to change sceneries. If you are in a noisy place, move to a quieter area and rock the baby until he settles down.

This also happens when your baby or toddler is beyond tired. They are fighting sleep. You will have to settle them down, so that they can fall asleep.

Rub their back, say soothing things, or play relaxing music. There is a wonderful app by Calm that plays all kinds of music to help babies through adults relax.

I’m bored

Listen for: This cry starts out as coos (as baby tries to get a good interaction going), then turns into fussing (when the attention she’s craving isn’t coming), then builds to bursts of indignant crying (“Why are you ignoring me?”), alternating with whimpers (“C’mon, what’s a baby got to do to get a cuddle around here?”).

This is easy. Pick your child up; engage them; laugh and talk to them. It makes me crazy when people say “You spoil your child when you pick them up.” I guess at some point, you can spoil your child, but pick them up, talk and play with them, so that they are emotionally secure.

The power of touch and engagement is really important to a child’s emotional growth, self esteem and sense of security.

Go have fun with your child!

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

 

July 6, 2019 at 12:47 pm Leave a comment

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