What Love Means to Me

When I think of Valentine’s Day, I think of red roses 🌹, candlelit dinners and romance. I remember receiving a huge box of chocolates 🍫 and one of those silver chain link bracelets from my high school boyfriend. Mom made me return the bracelet, and I believe she took the box of chocolates too; telling me I was too young to receive gifts 🎁 from boys!

What do you think of when you hear the words – Happy Valentine’s Day? Do you think of love – the “I’ll be with you forever” kind of love? Or do you think of how much you love ❤️ your kids, your family, friends, neighbors, etc.?

Love changes everything we do. It changes how we feel about each other. It can melt anger and resentment. Love can soften a hardened heart ❤️.

Happy Valentine’s Day. ❤️💞

 

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

#love #relationship #family #parenting

 

February 14, 2020 at 8:00 am 2 comments

What Happened to Our Sex Life?

When marriage first starts, you can’t stop touching each other. And then there’s the sex. That is never a problem, until you get into the throes of child-rearing, or money gets tight and while trying to figure that out, you forget about the intimacy.

A few months ago, I had a conversation with one of my daughters who said “Mothers don’t share enough of the challenges of being a wife and mother.” I tried not to get defensive, but as I continue to think about her comment, I think about things I wish my mother shared with me.

When you talk to women who have been married for years, they say things like:

“Cherish your husband.”

“Nurture your marriage”.

“Trust God to bring you through”.

Depending on the stage of life you are in, you experience hot flashes and nobody says – your body goes from 98.7 F to 150.7 in seconds and you feel slightly insane! Does anybody bother to tell you that parts of you dry up and have to be hydrated with over-the-counter products? No, of course not! Nice women don’t tell their business…

One day you wake up and the hot flashes are gone… Yay… But the sex (and possibly the desire for it) has disappeared too! How in the world is that possible? And more importantly, how do women stay married during “such a time as this”?

Interested in learning more about women as mothers? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru. Look for our upcoming Modern Moms Love Themselves conference. Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

January 31, 2020 at 5:00 pm 2 comments

Stop Holding Onto Anger and Resentment

Have you ever had a problem with your co-worker or a family member like your mom or spouse, and the more you think about it, you notice a migraine, sore throat, or a head cold starting to develop…?

Or maybe you find yourself resentful of something someone said or did that you can’t let go! At first you notice that you’re not sleeping well. Then you wake up with a stomachache or sore throat. 🤒 🤯

It’s your body’s perfect way of staying in touch with your emotions and letting you know things ARE NOT okay.

During the holidays we had a lot of family and friends visit. People came to our house that we hadn’t seen in years; others were family members that lived out of town. Seeing everyone was fun and very enjoyable.

I thought…

I couldn’t understand why I had the sniffles most of the holidays, and a full-blown head cold last week. For a person who seldom gets sick, I purchased over-the-counter meds and stayed in bed a couple of days. By Day Three during my morning meditation, it dawned on me that I was holding on to some unresolved issues of anger and resentment. Some of those delightful visitors had pushed buttons that haven’t been pushed in years…

Clearly whatever my issue was, it was unresolved.

As I breathed deeply, I released the anger, the resentment and my breathing slowed to a more normal pace. It took about 30 minutes.

And I noticed…

I was no longer congested. 🤧

I haven’t taken the cough syrup or the night time sleeping medicine since.

Life is good… 🤩

What do you need to release to make you feel better?

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

January 17, 2020 at 8:17 pm Leave a comment

Hey Mom Lose The Guilt!

Eliminate Mom Guilt

It never surprises me when I ask a question to a mom and her daughter, and they have entirely different thoughts about how a particular experience or conversation turned out. Invariably the daughter may feel that the experience was worse than what her mom thought.

When that happens, mom feels like she has to defend her position. But it’s not the end of the world; just an opportunity to have a deeper understanding of what took place during that experience.

When my daughter was a teen, what I remember thinking was that I was a pretty understanding mom. According to my daughter, I was intolerant (and in her words – scary) 😞.

The good news was that I had a choice. I could modify my behavior so that we could hear and understand each other or I could decide that we just didn’t understand each other and never would. Feeling like a “bad parent” was the bad news.

As a parent, there are lots of uncharted territory, and if you feel guilty every time you do something that backfires, you’ll feel guilty A LOT! Plus your kids will use your guilt against you to get more privileges 😉.

After listening to many stories about challenges and misunderstandings that mothers and daughters face, I began conducting Mother & Daughter Teas. These events are fun, generate laughter, dress up, silly photos, yummy foods, good feelings and authentic conversations.

I conduct them in school settings, ideally on Saturdays (or Sundays after church). If you are interested in how this event can be conducted with your school’s parents reply to this email.

I have a limited number of dates between March and May, so don’t wait!

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

January 13, 2020 at 3:06 pm Leave a comment

Your No-Stress Guide to the Perfect Family Getaway

Unsplash.com

 

Guest blog by Leslie Campos

Becoming a parent might mean that your days of traveling on a whim with nothing but a backpack are behind you, but it doesn’t have to mean staying put at home, either. Traveling with young children will require some extra planning and preparation. But with strategic budgeting and the right attitude, you can avoid common travel pitfalls. 

Want to save money and avoid stressing on your next family vacation? These tips will help you cut costs and enjoy your time off with your little ones. 

 

Travel With Relatives

If you’re planning to hit the road during the holiday season or over the summer, when most people have time off, reach out to relatives or friends with children and see if they would be interested in joining you. Yes, traveling with another family can present challenges, like figuring out finances, coordinating schedules, and making sure the kids get along, but there are also plenty of perks. 

 

With more adults around, parents can swap nights of staying in and babysitting the kids so that the other couple can have a romantic evening out. If you choose to rent a home or a large, multi-room hotel suite, you can save money by splitting the costs. Plus, the kids are less likely to get bored and antsy when they have cousins to hang out with. 

 

Plan to Pump on the Go

When your child is still breastfeeding, you might feel nervous about going on vacation. It’s perfectly normal to have concerns about pumping, breastfeeding in public, or properly storing breast milk while you’re en route to your destination. Having the right supplies can help—for instance, The Bump recommends packing a cooler bag, a leak-resistant bra, and a nursing poncho. 

 

If you’re flying, check out the TSA guidelines for transporting breast milk and other necessities for your baby before you take off. According to Kindred Bravely, women who are breastfeeding and need to store the bottles while traveling should be aware that breastmilk will technically last for about four to five days if refrigerated. However, it’s best for your baby to consume it within 72 hours. To keep the bottles as cold as possible, place them in the back of the fridge once you get to your accommodations. 

 

Baby Wearing

Lugging a stroller around on vacation can be cumbersome, especially if you know that you’ll be flying or taking busses to get around. Instead, try babywearing! Since you’re in an unfamiliar place where your child will inevitably be exposed to extra stimulation, being physically closer to you will be soothing for your baby, especially if they are feeling a little fussy. 

There are plenty of options for baby carriers and wraps. If you’re traveling with a newborn, Lamaze Internationalrecommends a ring sling to make nursing easier. Extended babywearing can be uncomfortable for your child’s hips, so it’s important to give them a break every hour or so. Your back and shoulders will thank you! 

 

Early Bedtimes

Every parent knows that kids will be more prone to tantrums if they stay up past their bedtime. On vacation, your kids will probably be tempted to try bending the rules around bedtime, but letting them do so can lead to meltdowns. Treat your kids by letting them stay up a little later than usual, but make it clear that they will still have to stick with a relatively early bedtime. 

Waking up and going to bed earlier means that your family can enjoy the popular attractions in the morning when crowds are thin. Bonus: If you make early dinner reservations, you may be able to take advantage of “Kids Eat Free” deals, which will help you cut down on your overall spending. 

The costs and effort involved in booking a family vacation can dissuade some parents from hitting the road with their kids. But finding great deals, linking up with relatives, and packing all the gear your family needs can help you have a successful, stress-free trip.

Wishing you and your family a happy new year!

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

December 31, 2019 at 5:05 pm

Co-Parenting Tips For The Holidays

CoParenting Tips

Great article by Kelly Frawley and Emily Pollock
Having survived divorce and coparenting, I appreciate the pointers that are listed here for parents who are divorced and share custody.

“The most wonderful time of the year” has the potential to become not so wonderful when parents who share custody of their children don’t have a mutually agreeable holiday plan in place. This isn’t the time for arguments over who’s getting which day or who’s buying what gift; a carefully thought-out plan can help you avoid tension and uncertainty so that all of you — most importantly, your kids — can enjoy a drama-free winter break.

When deciding how to schedule time and collaborate during the holidays, co-parents should take a number of factors into account: the children’s ages, family traditions and religious beliefs, how well the parents get along, and the kind of relationships the parents have with each of the children (it’s important to respect the traditions that are important to each of them). You might also want to factor in what happens during other school breaks during the year. For example, if one parent traditionally takes the kids on a vacation during spring break, then perhaps the other should get the bulk of winter break.

Looking at the big picture can help you see the logical plan for your family.

Setting a Sensible Schedule

Co-parents typically choose to manage the holiday season one of two ways:

1. Alternating years. One parent keeps the children for the entire winter break in odd-numbered years; the other parent gets them for the entire break in even-numbered years. This approach enables each parent, in their designated years, to plan a lengthy trip or schedule activities throughout the break period without needing to worry about giving the other parent equal time. It tends to work best when neither parent has a strong affinity for the season. Perhaps their religious traditions are celebrated at other times of year; a family may have already celebrated Hanukkah, for example, which often falls before winter break.

The downside of this type of arrangement is that one parent is deprived of holiday time with the children during the parent’s “off” years. This causes many co-parents, especially those who place a high value on holiday traditions, to take a different approach.

2. Equal time. Often, co-parents divide winter break in half, which typically gives each of them a week to celebrate the holidays or take a trip with their kids. They may alternate years when considering who takes the first week versus the second, since Christmas usually falls in the first. Parents may also choose to split the time by day, particularly when it comes to Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. By each taking one of these important days, both parents, as well as the children, get meaningful Christmas time together each year.

In situations where co-parents get along, a third possibility arises: giving the children time with both parents together. For example, children who believe in Santa and cherish Christmas mornings might appreciate having both parents present in those festivities. In fact, children of any age might appreciate a visit by their other parent, as long as the experience remains amicable.

Buying Gifts: Together or Separately?

If your winter break includes a gift-giving occasion, it makes good sense to collaborate with your ex-spouse so you don’t duplicate gifts for your children or inadvertently neglect to buy the gifts they wanted most because you assumed the other parent was buying them. In a Santa situation, discuss who is responsible for that experience. Will it change year to year based on who has the kids on Christmas, or will you work together?

The more collaborative you can be, the better. However, if you absolutely cannot work with your ex-spouse, then it’s important to work through counsel to determine who will be responsible for what so you don’t put your children through undue awkwardness or stress.

You may also want to consider taking your children shopping so they can buy a holiday gift for the other parent. It teaches children not only about giving, but shows that you encourage kindness towards your ex-spouse.

Making the Plan Official (more…)

December 18, 2019 at 10:18 pm Leave a comment

Modern Moms Embrace The Holidays 🦃🎅🏽🎄

Thanksgiving is right around the corner and Christmas soon after. How are you feeling? Is the stress building up?

I am so excited 😆 about seeing my new grandson Baby A, my kids and the many family members that will join us for dinner. However, I think about all of the things that need to get done 😝before we sit down to Thanksgiving dinner. It’s pretty overwhelming!

I’m a list creator, so I’ll create a list of things that need to be done like grocery shopping (3 different stores), chop up onions and celery for the dressing, clean off my kitchen counter… 😩

One of the biggest things for me is deciding what to do first 🤔? The second biggest thing I need to think about is who can I delegate the tasks to that I don’t want to do??

What about you? Which best describes you getting ready for Thanksgiving or any other major holiday?

I can’t wait for the holidays” or “I’m exhausted just thinking about all that I need to do to get ready for the holidays”.

I have to admit that I love the holidays, but it’s also easy to feel completely overwhelmed, especially if you like things to be done perfectly. If you’re the type of person who has a thousand tasks, then creating a timeline will help you tremendously! A timeline also allows you to decide who can help you with tasks, whether other family members live with you or are willing to come by and help out.

If you’re a single parent and your kiddos are too young to help with the tasks, think about cutting down on some of the holiday tasks, so that you’re not overwhelmed. For example you may decide, not to decorate the outside of the house or perhaps you get an artificial tree instead of a real one because there’s less clean-up after the holidays.

As you put together a timeline of the things that need to be done, be sure to schedule time for something fun for you too. Book a hot stones massage, attend a yoga class or schedule girls’ night out.

Yes the majority of the responsibility for keeping holiday traditions and customs falls to “Mom”. But… it doesn’t mean that we have to be exhausted and irritable once guests arrive.

I talk about these and more ways to help busy moms reenergize in my upcoming online course. There are five seats left. Reply to this email to hold your seat.

These concepts work whether you are married and busy or single and busy. Stop letting holiday blues get you down and let’s “deck the halls” together.

Happy Thanksgiving 🍁🦃

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

clynnwilliams.com

November 20, 2019 at 4:17 pm Leave a comment

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