What Mother’s Day Means to Me

As we approach Mother’s Day, I’m reminded of a question that I asked my Mom years ago as my sister and I were planning a Mother’s Day celebration for her. I wanted to know why she waited to confirm our activities (with her) until she had spoken with my grandmother – her mother. She told me as long as her mother was alive, she would celebrate Mother’s Day with her. My mom is no longer with me, and as a mom and grandmother, I now understand the “order of things“.

Here are 5 lessons that I learned from my mom:

  • Be nice to people (you never now what they’re going through)
  • Slow down and look at yourself in the mirror (you’re moving too fast)
  • Have FUN
  • When things are going awry (crazy), declare Divine Order
  • Keep a credit card or mad money handy in case you need it


Those tips helped me through the sanest and the craziest times of my life. My mom was very practical! My mother wasn’t the affectionate type who constantly told me how much she loved me. That was okay, because she showed me how much I meant to her – that mattered.

Celebrate the love you have for mother figures in your life. I realize that some of us didn’t have the love relationship with our mothers. If so, I hope you had someone that nurtured you in loving ways. If you haven’t spoken in a while, pick up the phone and say hi. Mend the fence. Let go of those painful memories and make some new ones. Think of the other women who made life complete for you – grandmothers, aunties, your best friend’s mom and everyone else who held the space that mothers hold. Enjoy your weekend. 

Life is too short to sweat the small stuff!

Happy Mother’s Day

C. Lynn Williams, @MsParentguru

clynnwilliams.com

May 6, 2021 at 10:45 pm Leave a comment

Dismantle Broken Human Systems

As an African-American mama with two sons, the Derek Chauvin verdict reminded me that fairness can exist for people of color. However, one conviction is not enough. We must continue to care, speak out against social and racial injustice, protest loudly, vote in every election and hold our elected officials accountable.

Let’s dismantle systemic racism and social injustices so that African American, Latina, Asian or persons of color, women, gay, transgendered, differently abled, or other dimensions that are characterized as diverse, are treated fairly. Oh and let’s teach our children how to do the same (and why it’s important), so that positive change continues in each generation.

Share your thoughts below.

Share this on your social media platforms.

The change starts with us.

Thanks for reading my blog, and following me on Instagram and Twitter @MsParentguru.

C. Lynn Williams

clynnwilliams.com

April 22, 2021 at 1:07 am Leave a comment

Why Don’t Dads Talk More… Like Mom?

When I was a kid, I remember my dad playing games with me, my brother and sister. On good days, he would jump out of the closet and scare us. The other days he would tell stories. 

Besides those times, my dad was a man of few words. Even when he chastised us, it didn’t take a lot of w o r d s.

As I headed off to college, we had more conversations. I asked questions and Dad gave me answers. It was then that I realized how different he was than my mother and how much I relied on his advice and wisdom.

As an author of several relationship books for parents, it took me a while to write about father and daughter relationships. I wasn’t sure how I felt sharing my very private dad, with the world, and yet with the help of other fathers and daughters, I was able to embody thoughts that many dads and daughters later said -“you nailed it!” That book is: Daddy & Daughter Thoughts: A Dad’s Guide to Daughters, and helps those reading it develop, repair and reflect on the importance of a loving relationship between a father and his daughter. Pick up a copy to read and one to share. 😉

Since COVID-19, I have been hosting online conversations between fathers and daughters heal hurt feelings, mend broken relationships, and help women and men move forward in positive ways. Please join us on Saturday, April 17th, 10 am CDT. The Zoom link is included once you register: https://wisedad.eventbrite.com

Thanks for reading my blog, and following me on Instagram and Twitter @MsParentguru.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

clynnwilliams.com

April 15, 2021 at 6:33 am Leave a comment

Sexual Assault is A Sissy Move

April is Sexual Assault Awareness month and is dedicated to raising public awareness about preventing sexual violence. Let me be the first to say that sexually assaulting someone is a sissy move!

When I was a kid, “sissy” was how we described somebody who was afraid and wouldn’t take chances. Sexual violence is usually done under the guise that the person “wanted to have sex with me”, or “they asked for it”. A narcissistic move by someone who was never taught that no meant NO or they were sexual abuse victims, are some of the reasons why people choose to assault others.

Sexual assault is an aggressive act that leaves its victims afraid and violated. It can happen to anyone: women, girls, men or boys. I’ve not had or seen sexual harassment, however I have experienced first-hand and seen women be violently attacked. It’s one of those experiences that leaves you feeling unsure of yourself and your surroundings. It takes awhile to regain your self-confidence.

Click here to learn more information about sexual assault awareness. Let’s stay safe, be aware of our surroundings, and be willing to help victims of sexual assault… especially family members or friends.

Silence is violence
Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

Thanks for reading my Stay Sane blog. Follow me on Instagram and Twitter @MsParentguru.

C. Lynn Williams

clynnwilliams.com

April 7, 2021 at 12:46 pm Leave a comment

How Are You Processing Change?

Usually for Lent, I give up something tangible like sweets 🍫 or carbs. It’s not easy, but I figure that it’s my sacrifice as I prepare for Easter.

With a year of sheltering in place, I decided I had had enough of tangible sacrifice and would look inside myself to see what needed changing. Unity Village puts out a wonderful spiritual practice for Lent guide every year, and the one they created in 2019 is what I have to read during this Lenten season.

“I fast from anger.”

“Sometimes the events of my life leave me disappointed, frustrated or irritated…” Unity School of Christianity

Today’s message seemed so appropriate with all that we have experienced over the last year: Covid-19, police brutality and social and civil unrest.

It seems like somebody opened Pandora’s box 📦 and there are a lot of unexpected “feelings” rising up in us like anger, resentment, disconnectedness and who knows what else. 🤯

Fasting from anger…

It’s not easy especially when you think about how contagious a n g e r is. Anger seems to travel like the coronavirus, undetected but deadly. Letting go of anger, disappointment, frustration, resentment, fault finding and their friends, takes commitment and practice. It could easily take 40 days to build a habit of letting go of anger.

You have a choice. Embrace peace and harmony. Make it an affirmation that you say over and over: I let go of anger and resentment. I embrace peace and harmony.

It may feel strange and fake. Keep saying it until it’s your own.

Be the drop of water 💦 that starts the change.

If you’re a father or stepdad, join me (and bring your daughter) for a Zoom discussion about relationships on Saturday, March 20th 10 am CDT. The Zoom link to join: http://bit.ly/3eViH63

C. Lynn Williams, @MsParentguru

clynnwilliams.com

March 19, 2021 at 10:25 pm 1 comment

How We Teach World Peace Matters

Let’s practice world peace for our children.

Continue Reading February 24, 2021 at 1:34 pm 3 comments

The Resilience of Youth

When my oldest daughter was five years old, we took a plane ride to California. The ride was V E R Y turbulent, and it was all I could do to keep calm and not run up and down the aisle screaming! To her, we were on a roller-coaster and it was fun!

Here we are many years later, dealing with a pandemic, the coronavirus, vaccines, work-from-home, remote learning, etc.

I find it hard to stay calm and positive.

But to our children: toddlers, a young child, your middle-school aged child; this is another moment in their life. A new adventure!

How you see the world, is how they see it.

Dad and his daughter

Read further about what a group of UC Berkeley students is offering:

Looking to make friends and explore your interests during quarantine? Connect-In-Place is a FREE virtual program, launched by college students at UC Berkeley. We offer classes on everything from Intro to Programming to Bollywood Dance, as well as support groups and tutoring groups, all led by college students from top universities. So far we’ve served 3,300+ middle and high schoolers in our small, friendship-building classes. If you need some extra help, or just want to get excited about learning again, Connect-In-Place is the right community for you.  

Session 5 (Feb 22 – March 20) sign-ups are open now and close Friday, February 19th at noon PT!

Register for Session 5:
tinyurl.com/cips5-middleschool
tinyurl.com/cips5-highschool

Stay safe and have fun!

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

February 19, 2021 at 6:48 pm Leave a comment

Who We Are Matters

Photo by Markus Spiske on Pexels.com

When I was growing up, my mom would tell me that my actions were a direct reflection of my home training by her and my dad. While I hated hearing that, I taught the same thing to my children as well.

Who we are matters.

I have been trying to write today’s blog since the January 6 insurrection at the White House. As I watched the people storm through the barriers, break glass, pump their fists, and FaceTime their audiences; all I could think of was “What would your mom (or dad) think of you?” Also, how could I explain (to my children) why these people are allowed to deface the nation’s capitol without being dragged to jail. Most of the people who participated in the insurrection were white males and females.

The other major event that has my attention, is a rash of carjackings/robberies that have been taking place in different communities in the Chicagoland area. Many of the young people who are carjacking people, are young black teenagers. I thought how I would feel if one of those young men was my son.

In each case, I’m angry and think what kind of training did the insurrectionists and carjackers receive at home while growing up? Were they raised to respect others? Were they respected by the people they lived with?

Here’s something that I want parents to remember: how your child shows up is a reflection of how you interacted with them. Children aren’t born to fight and attack. They learn that behavior. When you grow up in an angry environment, that’s what you do when you respond to situations whether you understand what’s going on or not.

There are many young people who are raising themselves; who are not participating in online school learning, (parents may or may not be home with them) and who are trying to survive. Survival tells them that they must steal from other people in order to survive. They believe If they don’t steal, they won’t eat or they will be unsheltered.

The insurrectionists have been told that the rights and privileges that they are used to experiencing, are going away. Having to play nice with people that don’t look like them, is a scary idea!

In both cases, people are afraid. They feel that they don’t matter. And when people feel that they don’t matter, they do extraordinarily dumb things to help those around them know that they do matter.

So what does that mean to everybody else?

  • God made us a little lower than the angels, which means we are powerful.
  • We are each other’s keepers.
  • No one can achieve what they are trying to achieve by themselves.
  • Our differences and cultures are okay – we don’t have act like anybody else to succeed.

Raising your children to “be somebody” as my grandmother used to say, is still noble and honorable. Love and respect yourself and know that what you do to others and for others – Matters. ✌🏽

What are your thoughts?

By the way, I’m collecting data on a new relationship trauma program and would love your feedback. Please click here to answer the questions.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

clynnwilliams.com

January 28, 2021 at 9:21 pm Leave a comment

Educational Staycation Ideas for Homeschooling Families

Unsplash

Guest blog by Jenna Sherman, parent-leaders.com

With travel off the table for many families this year, it’s a good idea to come up with fun alternatives that can help break up the monotony of self-isolating and homeschooling. Use this guide for ideas on how to take an educational staycation, whether it’s doing science experiments in your backyard or getting a new challenging video game for your kids. If you need some support or help coming up with ideas, read C. Lynn Williams’ blog.

How to staycation

If your kids have been homeschooling for most of this year, it’s getting a bit old by now. Between video lessons and Zoom chats with their teachers, it’s likely they’re missing the social parts of going to school, not to mention recess. To help break up the monotony of homeschooling, it’s a great idea to come up with educational staycation options.

When you’re considering educational activities, think about subjects that genuinely interest your child. For kids who love science, help them come up with a science experiment they can do in the backyard. One fun option is building a rocket out of an old film canister, baking soda, and vinegar.

Or if your kid loves biology and the natural world, visit a forest or a park near your house and identify as many plant and animal species as possible. Encourage your child to start a journal to keep track, and visit every couple of weeks to add new species to the journal. Take a camera to record each species, and print off the photos so they can add them to their journal.

For kids who are interested in the culinary world, it’s a great idea to come up with some fun cooking or baking projects. Have them pick out their favorite meal or dessert, and hand over the recipe so they can be head chef. Help them where needed, but let them take the lead if they’re ready. Not only will you help them explore a new hobby, but you’ll also have some (hopefully) tasty meals or treats to enjoy as a bonus.

Extra-curriculars at home

One great option for kids who are into gaming is finding some educational and challenging video games. If your kid needs a break from their geography book, they might have more fun playing a game like Where on Google Earth is Carmen Sandiego? The game will help them learn the capitals of countries around the world and will help them learn to use the Google Earth tool. It’s free to play, and there are three different versions to keep your kids interested.

To help your child learn to solve problems, the Nancy Drew interactive mysteries series will keep your kid entertained for hours. The games are spinoffs of the original Nancy Drew book series that dates all the way back to the 1930s. There are 33 games in total, and they can be played on PCs, mobile phones, and some gaming consoles.

While video games often get a bad reputation for being addictive, there are actually many benefits. Not only do kids learn hand-eye coordination, but games also help promote cognitive skills such as problem-solving. And for kids interested in computers, gaming can help open up a learning opportunity in computer science.

Gaming can be great fun but is often frustrating if you don’t have an internet connection that can handle the workload. Be sure to boost your internet speeds if you want your kids to game at home, especially if other members of the household need the internet for work or school.

Homeschooling can be highly monotonous for kids, so coming up with fun staycation ideas will help keep them engaged. Educational staycation projects such as backyard science experiments and cooking or baking are great alternatives to lesson plans while still helping your kids learn. And if they need a break from the school grind, educational video games will be entertaining and beneficial for your young learners.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

January 22, 2021 at 1:00 pm Leave a comment

Essential Self-Care Tips for Exhausted Working Parents

Life as a working parent can be exhausting.

Continue Reading December 22, 2020 at 7:28 am Leave a comment

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