Posts filed under ‘mom’
Wishing You A Merry Christmas
Christmas is the time of celebration and merry making for everyone. This holiday is known for the melodious Christmas carols, rhythmical Christmas poems and intoxicating Christmas songs. An occasion of togetherness and merriment with your family is what Christmas is all about.
I wish you a very Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays! Below is a poem I am sharing with you from theparentsday website.
C. Lynn
Home is With Parents
Home is where parents and memories live,
Full of the love only families can give,
It’s a place where you learn
and a place where you play,
It’s a cozy retreat on a cold winter’s day
It’s warm and familiar and yet always new,
A place where there’s always a welcome for you,
Home is where laughter and happiness grow,
A place you’ll remember wherever you go.
Merry Christmas to both of you
With love,
(insert your child’s name)
Mothers Are Gifts (Sent From God)
The Christmas season is right around the corner, and as usual, I have a million things to do. 🤯
However, one thing that I do every morning, is to take time to pray, meditate, and do my sit-ups. This time, gives me a chance to get in touch with how I feel about what’s going on in my life, in my business, and just to chill for a minute before the day begins.
Today, as I was reading my Daily Word, I thought about how many ways God has stepped into my life, and either suggested that I reach out to someone, talk to my kids about a concern that I have or let them know they were on my mind. I thought about like mothers, God is always watching us, and it blew me away!
God watching us is a good thing, and I’m glad that I have this spiritual support (God), because as you know, there are days that 1+1 does not equal two. And life doesn’t feel fair and people that you love pass away, or move away.
So, in my quiet moment, I think about how we are gifts to our children and our families. Let’s remember that, throughout our day today, when our child is calling, crying, or needing more than what we think we have to give.
I talk more about spiritual gifts and making family life easier for moms, in my 30 day program: How to Simplify Your Family Life Easier and Effectively.
How to Simplify Your Family Life helps women work on three areas: personal, family and relationships to eliminate burnout, mom guilt and exhaustion.
Once you complete the program, you’ll be able to:
- Create a support system that helps you stay calm and hold onto your temper
- Create and use morning and evening routines to keep our family organized and in order
- Develop easy-to-use phrases and affirmations to respond to stressful comments and reduce mom guilt
- Manage your daily schedule to include a daily activity of fun, rest or relaxation
- Establish healthy life habits (food, exercise, sleep) that you have practiced during the 30 days individually or with an accountability partner
This online course begins January 9, and I’m offering the first 10 moms a Christmas gift of 50% off the retail price if you schedule time with me (and register for the course) by Dec 24th.
The Lord looks down from heaven, and sees the whole human race. On his throne, he observes all who live on the Earth. He made their hearts, so he understands everything they do. (Psalm 33:13-15)
Have a magnificent day! 🌞☀️
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Raising Children Without Losing Yourself
Guest blogger, Jenny Miller
Becoming a parent changes everything. Your priorities shift, your responsibilities grow, and suddenly you’re no longer the most important thing in your life. While it’s normal for parenthood to bring major changes, becoming a parent shouldn’t mean losing your sense of self, though. In fact, it’s possible to be a great parent without putting your goals and dreams on pause. Today, C. Lynn Williams explains how!
Loving with Limits: Why Parents Need Boundaries
You’d do anything for your child. However, many parents struggle to balance supporting their child with setting limits.
- Healthy boundaries benefit a child’s emotional and social development, encourage autonomy, and ease the workload of parenthood.
- According to Hand in Hand Parenting, children need four types of limits to flourish: safety, values, expectations, and proposal limits.
- Limits also promote age-appropriate independence. At an early age, that may mean entertaining themselves. As they get older, independent children can troubleshoot problems and do simple chores.
Maintaining Your Identity in Parenthood
Do you feel like you’ve lost your identity since becoming a parent? Parenthood takes a lot of time and energy, but it’s possible to adjust and feel like yourself again.
- Make time for adult relationships. Schedule kid-free time with your partner and maintain a social life, even if it looks different nowadays.
- Set goals for yourself. Do you want to get back into a hobby, learn something new, or adopt a healthier lifestyle? Goals are the key to building a happy life long-term.
- If you’re a stay-at-home parent, consider going back to work. There are numerous job boards where you can find a position that fits your skills. Use a resume builder to give your resume a makeover, then create a winning cover letter to get noticed.
- If you need extra education or training to improve your hireability, look into online learning. For instance, most popular medical coding courses can be done online in less than 30 hours and can really open up doors!
Self-Care Is Family Care
Self-care tends to drop down the priority list after starting a family, but it shouldn’t disappear from it entirely. A good parent is a happy parent, and happiness starts with self-care.
- Focus on the positive changes parenthood brings. There are always challenges, but practicing gratitude makes them feel easier.
- Spend quality time with your children. Take just a few minutes for meaningful connection each day. Even reading to your children each day makes a big difference for you and your kids.
- Take care of your health. Not only do healthy habits give you the physical and mental stamina to rise to life’s challenges, and it also sets a good example for your children.
There’s no question that parenthood requires sacrifice. However, you don’t have to sacrifice your own goals to be an exceptional parent. In fact, by taking care of yourself and continuing on a path of personal growth, you provide your children with a role model for thriving through life’s transitions.
C. Lynn Williams is a veteran educator, speaker, workshop presenter, passionate mother & wife, as well as author of “Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen: A primer for parents”, “The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son”, “Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES!“, “Yours & Mine: A Winning Blended Family Formula“, and “Daddy & Daughter Thoughts: A Dad’s Guide to Daughters“.
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Being Friends With Our Kids
I remember one of my mother’s favorite phrases when I was growing up – “I am not here to be friends with you.”
I never wanted to be friends with her, I just wanted her to stop being so mean…
And then I had my own children…
What I found, was as my children became tweens and teens, I wanted to be friends with them. I wanted to laugh and enjoy them because they were growing into people that I loved and respected.
What I found out that was, being friends with my kids compromised me being their boundary setter, the consequence handler, the Mom that they could count on when they needed somebody to talk with them honestly; when they need the adult-in-charge to take over!
I found it difficult to be both friend and adult parent. So I too repeated my mom’s words: “I’m not here to be your friend, but you can count on me anytime and all the time.”
What I learned from my kids, is that when I gave them boundaries they felt safe, and I often heard them repeating the house rules to their friends. I liked that! Being the adult in charge is important because your kids don’t have to worry about who you are today. They know you are the person they can rely on when life is crashing and burning around them. 🔥 They won’t have to worry if you allow them to drink or smoke illegal substances (because you’re their friend) one day and other days it’s not tolerated. The lines are not blurred.
The friendship between the two of you will definitely come, probably when you’re both adults and they are making their own decisions. By then, sharing an alcoholic beverage is both legal and tolerated.
I help parents build the kind of communication and trust that allows relationships to grow and feel better. Call me to schedule a complimentary chat session or to book a seat in my coaching program.😘
Thanks for reading my blog. Follow me on Instagram and Twitter @MsParentguru.
C. Lynn Williams
clynnwilliams.com
It Is Okay to Feel What You’re Feeling
We’ve been quarantined for 7 weeks now. It’s okay to express what you’re feeling.
Co-Parenting Tips For The Holidays
Great article by Kelly Frawley and Emily Pollock
Having survived divorce and coparenting, I appreciate the pointers that are listed here for parents who are divorced and share custody.
“The most wonderful time of the year” has the potential to become not so wonderful when parents who share custody of their children don’t have a mutually agreeable holiday plan in place. This isn’t the time for arguments over who’s getting which day or who’s buying what gift; a carefully thought-out plan can help you avoid tension and uncertainty so that all of you — most importantly, your kids — can enjoy a drama-free winter break.
When deciding how to schedule time and collaborate during the holidays, co-parents should take a number of factors into account: the children’s ages, family traditions and religious beliefs, how well the parents get along, and the kind of relationships the parents have with each of the children (it’s important to respect the traditions that are important to each of them). You might also want to factor in what happens during other school breaks during the year. For example, if one parent traditionally takes the kids on a vacation during spring break, then perhaps the other should get the bulk of winter break.
Looking at the big picture can help you see the logical plan for your family.
Setting a Sensible Schedule
Co-parents typically choose to manage the holiday season one of two ways:
1. Alternating years. One parent keeps the children for the entire winter break in odd-numbered years; the other parent gets them for the entire break in even-numbered years. This approach enables each parent, in their designated years, to plan a lengthy trip or schedule activities throughout the break period without needing to worry about giving the other parent equal time. It tends to work best when neither parent has a strong affinity for the season. Perhaps their religious traditions are celebrated at other times of year; a family may have already celebrated Hanukkah, for example, which often falls before winter break.
The downside of this type of arrangement is that one parent is deprived of holiday time with the children during the parent’s “off” years. This causes many co-parents, especially those who place a high value on holiday traditions, to take a different approach.
2. Equal time. Often, co-parents divide winter break in half, which typically gives each of them a week to celebrate the holidays or take a trip with their kids. They may alternate years when considering who takes the first week versus the second, since Christmas usually falls in the first. Parents may also choose to split the time by day, particularly when it comes to Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. By each taking one of these important days, both parents, as well as the children, get meaningful Christmas time together each year.
In situations where co-parents get along, a third possibility arises: giving the children time with both parents together. For example, children who believe in Santa and cherish Christmas mornings might appreciate having both parents present in those festivities. In fact, children of any age might appreciate a visit by their other parent, as long as the experience remains amicable.
Buying Gifts: Together or Separately?
If your winter break includes a gift-giving occasion, it makes good sense to collaborate with your ex-spouse so you don’t duplicate gifts for your children or inadvertently neglect to buy the gifts they wanted most because you assumed the other parent was buying them. In a Santa situation, discuss who is responsible for that experience. Will it change year to year based on who has the kids on Christmas, or will you work together?
The more collaborative you can be, the better. However, if you absolutely cannot work with your ex-spouse, then it’s important to work through counsel to determine who will be responsible for what so you don’t put your children through undue awkwardness or stress.
You may also want to consider taking your children shopping so they can buy a holiday gift for the other parent. It teaches children not only about giving, but shows that you encourage kindness towards your ex-spouse.
Making the Plan Official (more…)
Have a Son – Be Prepared to Be Swept Off Your Feet
My grandson is 7 months old and his personality is coming out more and more. I’m always happy to hear about his latest discovery and activity. While my daughter and son-in-law believe in Baby A sleeping in his own bed, lately he has been sleeping in theirs.
My daughter says she woke up one morning and Baby A had his arm around her neck, like a boyfriend and she was amused. Her hubby wasn’t…
Here’s what I know:
Moms are the first “girl” that their son knows…
He quickly learns that she takes care of him a lot, especially if she is breastfeeding him.
She plays with him and he loves it, so he gives her attention and unconditional love.
Unconditional love is intoxicating like a delicious bottle of wine…
You can’t get enough of it.
As baby boys get older, they bring their “favorite girl” (Mom) flowers (dandelions), gifts (worms or rocks) and anything else that will make her smile. Mom of course loves the gifts and the attention, and now the sweeping off your feet is taking place.
There is nothing like a son. Depending on his home environment, he will always be concerned about “Mom”. It’s a wonderful relationship to have as long as we remember that our sons will grow up, fall in love and leave home.
Let him and welcome the person that he chooses.
He will always be your son and you will always be his mother.
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics?
Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
How to Motivate Our Kids
Did you ever take music lessons or practice a sport to become the best? It’s called deliberate practice and there are important life skills that children learn when they practice becoming better at something. One lesson that comes up for me is resilience. My daughter wanted to take dance lessons, and once she started attending the class, she decided she didn’t like it and wanted to quit. That happens often with children. They will like something because their friends like it. The challenge is getting them to stick it out until a natural ending like a concert or the season ends. Requiring them to finish at a natural ending point, teaches tolerance.
You see it a lot in some cultures where practice is relentless, but the outcomes are amazing. I think about the Olympics and Russians gymnasts. I thought they excelled because of their over-the-top work ethic. I also think about Chinese students and music. Practice makes their performances better!
This deliberate practice requires us (as parents) to perform our show and tell. It’s one thing to tell your child to go and practice their clarinet. It’s quite a different feeling when you share with them that on your job or in your business, you have goals to attain and the better that you are at setting those goals, the better you are at mastering them and achieving them or smashing them!
Parents, we have an opportunity here to build excellence no matter what your economic or social standing. When your kids are with you, get them to do more of what they like and practice it until it is amazing. You notice I’m not saying perfect because perfect means there’s no room to grow and be better and there’s always room to grow and be better. I’m also suggesting that you allow them to do something that they like, as opposed to what you like for them. It’s less of a struggle…
By the way, this is not just a skill for musically and sports inclined children. For the kids who love academics; who love reading; who love writing; who love tech; help them find tune that skill and motivate them to become outliers.
An outlier is a person that stands out from all other members of a particular group or set. They stand out! That’s a positive thing. Our children are born with gifts that require motivation, nurturing and fine-tuning to stand out. As parents, this is what we can offer our children:
- A safe home environment
- Food to eat
- Love
- Encouragement
- Structure
Sometimes the gifts that live inside of our child, are quite different from ours or anyone within our family. It doesn’t make the gift wrong or strange… just different.
So practice motivating your child and that gift of theirs, while they are on summer break. If you haven’t already seen their brilliance peek out, keep watching.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
How the Sins of Our Mothers Scar Us
My sister and I always felt that our mom favored our brother Tony. Her heart seemed to be softer on his behalf. Don’t get me wrong, Tony got into trouble and was punished too, but not as much once my parents split up. What I now know, is that Mom was compensating for my dad being absent in his life. She did the best she knew how.
Since I was in college during my sister and brother’s high years; years AD (after divorce), I didn’t see much preferential treatment bestowed on Tony.
Mom could do a lot of things really well! When it came to organization and getting things done, my mom was AWESOME! I learned how to speak up for and take care of myself because of my mother. Showing emotions, wasn’t her strength. She was unable to teach me how to love and nurture myself or anyone else. So in high school and college, I was pretty detached in my relationships. I kept to myself and only opened up to my closest friends.
Once I became a mom and started seeking my mother’s advice, I asked her why she seldom said she loved us or hugged. Her words were “My mom didn’t treat us that way.”
Here’s the deal: families live and die emotionally through experiences with the moms in their lives. If your mom did not receive praise and lots of ‘I love yous’ ❤️ as a child, then they either feel that it was unwarranted (when they raise children) or they are emotionally unable to share those kinds of feelings.
It is definitely possible that mothers will give lots of love and praise when they have their own children even if they didn’t receive it as a child. I have many friends who are wonderful moms, and when asked about their childhood, they say they didn’t get along with their mom. When pressed to explain further, they say they wanted a different experience for their own children. ❤️
When mothers are harsh and don’t exhibit warmth and love to their son or daughter, that child grows up similar to a sociopath who acts without feelings or conscious.
How do we change that behavior?
One child at a time…
Yes I know you are busy working and raising a family…
Yes, I know you never had a relationship with your mom or dad and don’t know how to talk (civilly) or show love…
Yes, it’s hard…
But not impossible…
Start by taking baby steps.
- “Good morning, I love you.”
- “Good night I love you.”
- “Have a good day at school.” (Hug your son or daughter)
- “You mean everything to me.”
These statements go a long way toward building a better relationship.
That’s nice. ❤️
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
How To Let Our Daughters Go and Grow
If it’s hard for you to let your daughter go and grow into the young woman that you always imagined she would be… this blog is for you!
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons. Subscribe to my YouTube channel: http://bit.ly/youtubeclynn
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
Blogpost Comments