Posts filed under ‘motherhood’

How To Let Our Daughters Go and Grow

If it’s hard for you to let your daughter go and grow into the young woman that you always imagined she would be… this blog is for you!

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons. Subscribe to my YouTube channel: http://bit.ly/youtubeclynn

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

February 18, 2019 at 8:40 pm Leave a comment

Working Time Management For Moms

When you walk in the door, you see a stack of papers floating around your desk, and when you go home, just as at the office, you can’t find those important papers you need so desperately to stay out of trouble or make an excuse. 

When you come home at night, you and your spouse argue, and your children ignore you because you just aren’t spending family time with some of the important people in your life.

Does this sound familiar?

Have you ever wondered why?

Well, you are not managing your time accordingly so that you reap benefits and the ones you love are happy. You are not organized, so therefore how the heck can you find those important documents?

Moms already have a big responsibility and we neglect to manage our times, our responsibilities turn to chaos.

Let’s face it: it is never easy to stay organized when we have busy work schedules and a family to attend to, as well as other responsibilities.

The traditional individuals often store files in a filing cabinet, and clean their room and desk once every week. However, there are people out there that are spontaneous. Some of us even store documents so they are out of sight and soon find those documents are out of mind, until someone calls their attention to the papers.

The key to success moms is getting your priorities straight. If you shop for groceries once per week, you can cut back time by buying enough to last longer, so that grocery shopping isn’t part of your weekly plan. 

The extra hour or more that you spend at the supermarket can be spent on quality time with the family. This is only one solution to managing your time, but it is certainly a start. In addition, you can make up a list of your duties, starting with the most important tasks first, and working through the list one at a time. I found this to be a great solution for managing time, since when you work hard to complete one task, the rests fall into place with ease.

If you spend an hour or even one half hour in the mirror, it is probably because you are not feeling good about yourself. It takes approximately five minutes to put makeup on, and to stand in the mirror longer is only taking up time. Hair is also important since our person in general sets an impression. If you spend longer time than needed doing your hair, try finding nice looking hairstyles that are less complicated to style. This is also a great process of the time management solution. Clothing should also be limited but appropriate for whatever it is that you are doing and it should not take less than a couple of minutes to get dressed.

Unless you are a model, or actress, overdressing is not appropriate in most cases for everyday life situations. If you are spending extra time preparing meals, you might want to consider recipes that are quick and healthy to manage your time mom. Look for my time management, organization and meal planning coaching program to launch in January 2019.

Interested in controlling your time management issues? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my work-life balance programs for working and entrepreneurial mothers.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

December 19, 2018 at 6:18 pm Leave a comment

Are We Properly Preparing Our Daughters?

One of the things that I was most proud of as a mom, was how I prepared my biological daughter for what challenges life had for her.

Often our conversations were predicated on what was going on in my life like divorce, disappointment, dating, career changes, etc. 

Other people’s life experiences were fair game too because they were teachable moments that I could use to explain why life operated as it did.

So I thought I did a pretty GOOD job … until we had our latest conversation and she told me that mothers don’t really prepare their daughters for life as a mom; as a working mom or as a married working mom.

She felt we’re not honest about the job description. Somehow the picture that we paint is idealistic and not representative of what it takes to be married, work and raise children.

In actuality, you marry the man of your dreams (hopefully), you have a baby or several babies, and you work outside of the home. When you get home from work, you take care of your family. In the taking care of your family you seldom have time for yourself. And depending on your husband’s culture and upbringing, he may or may not support you in the raising of the children and helping with the household chores.

That sucks, because there is such a difference between the American dream for women and what many young women experience as wives and mothers. We tell our daughters to get a good education, find a good job, get married and have children. And live happily ever after.

It’s more realistic for us as mothers, to share realistic experiences with our daughters throughout their adolescence and teen years, so that they can decide what they want out of life. And they understand the trade-offs that are required depending on which path they take.

For women who decide to take the career path and not have children, mothers need to share what that may feel like as the daughter gets older. Having the conversation may help minimize the regret of not having become a mother.

On the other hand, for daughters who want a career and also a family; explain how exhausted they can be during the first 5 years of their child’s life because of sleep deprivation and adjustments to new family routines. They may have a supportive spouse and they may not. Give them guilt-free permission to hire a nanny or a housekeeper to help with the house and children.

I mean if we are not honest with our daughters, who will be?

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

August 13, 2018 at 12:10 pm Leave a comment

How to Be Brave

I used to think being brave was easy. All you had to do was be fearless – not afraid of anything. 

Then I went to fifth grade and experienced a bully in my neighborhood and one at school who terrorized me regularly. So I learned what it meant to be afraid and didn’t feel so brave as I often ran home from school. That fear lasted until I was able to fearlessly stand up to both of the bullies, and my life became relatively carefree again.

Once I became a wife and mother, I realized there were other reasons to be fearful. Wondering things like would I be a good mother; would my children would be safe; what happens to them if I die. Weird right? I had to get control of my thoughts, to keep a positive tone in my life. I began meditating and reading inspirational material to stay positive.

By the way, have you noticed that schools don’t teach classes on how to be brave? I guess it’s not considered a problem for most people, but 67% of Americans live with some kind of fear. As we continue to experience random acts of violence, and less concern for each other as human beings, our world is appearing more and more fearful.

Just recently, I ran across an article on how to be brave, by one of my thought leaders, Lachlan Brown, and am sharing with you my top four:

  • Find Ways To Control Your FearSo that you are able to function in spite of it.
  • Embrace and Challenge Negativity – My fifth grade experience with bullies taught me resilience and how to stand up for myself.
  • Practice Self-Affirmations – Affirmations are positive phrases or mantras that you repeat to yourself consistently until you feel confident and able to move forward. One of the phrases I repeat regularly is “I am amazing!” It’s hard to feel afraid when you repeat (and believe) that you are AMAZING.
  • Find a Role Model – Your role model can be someone in your family, a friend or colleague that has been through some of your same experiences; is easy to talk to and willing to talk with you while you build a coping mechanism for handling your fear(s). Click here to read more.

In a nutshell, you are the one in control. Fear by itself cannot control you, even though it feels like the one in control. You are very powerful and so are the thoughts that you think. Decide now to let go of the negative thoughts and be brave.

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my relationship programs for families. Click Here to join my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

July 20, 2018 at 9:35 pm Leave a comment

Why Staying Relevant With Our Adult Children Keeps Us Young

What kind of conversations do you have with your adult children? Are they meaningful? Do you feel good after talking with them?

SSBlog_BondingWithYourChildren_1400x1050-1024x768

Last week my oldest son turned 35 years old and I wanted to wish him happy birthday when it was my turn to talk. He’s my oldest child, and was 20 years old when his dad and I married, so I’m always amazed at the depth of our conversations, wondering what I can say to stay relevant when we talk. I should probably tell you that my son and I don’t talk often, like I do with my oldest daughter. That’s just the nature of mother & son relationships. Boys don’t talk nearly as much as girls, unless they (boys) are trying to work out a situation. #thepamperedprincebook

So while I waited to talk with him, thinking that our conversation would be short and sweet,  what I got was a very extensive conversation.  we probably talked about 45 minutes about things that were important to him and our relationship and it was just a wonderful conversation overall.

Portrait of a loving mother and her young adult/late teen son.

My point in staying relevant as a parent is that it keeps the lines of communications open between you and your child. It also keeps you young. I remember some of the challenges I faced when I was in my 20’s. Most of the time, I kept those challenges to myself for fear of what my mother would think of me. Once I reached out to her and realized that she wasn’t judging me, we had great talks. That was a lesson that I promised I would remember once I had kids of my own. I never wanted my children to feel stupid or that they couldn’t talk to me. I also hoped they would confide in me before talking to their friends. When they did talk to me, it made me feel young. I felt like I was part of a younger generation (because I was, compliments of them).

As a parent coach and parent of adult children, here are three (3) tips for maintaining relevancy in your relationship with your children:

  • Don’t Judge – You may think the decisions they’ve made are just dumb. But think back on some of the hair-brained decisions you made as a teen or young adult. They may not have been the best decisions, but they were yours.
  • Listen – As parents we always feel like we have to have the answers to our kids’ problems. That’s not always true or possible. Actually one of the lessons I learned most recently, is that my kids usually want me to listen and not comment. It’s not easy, but staying relevant sometimes means that we are their sounding boards and silence is golden.
  • There’s No Room For Drama – Sometimes the conversations that our adult children need or want to have with us are hair-raising and you may be inclined to say “What in the hell made you do that?“. Resist the urge to say anything negative and follow my advice in the tip #2 – Listen!

I’m looking forward to sharing this Easter birthday weekend with most of my blended family, with the exception of my middle daughter, who wasn’t able to join us. I plan on taking my own advice and listening, enjoying my sons and daughter and having a lot of fun. I wish you and your family a wonderful Easter or Passover holiday. 

Want to learn more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

 

March 28, 2018 at 6:04 pm Leave a comment

What Does 2018 Mean to You?

As I wrote in my last 2017 blog, my thoughts were dark and scary. I felt like some of my solid surfaces had crumbled and things that were normally in order and in place simply weren’t there.

As a person who wears a lot of hats: writer, blogger, wife, mother, entrepreneur, I juggle lots of tasks and activities. It only works well when I’m doing things that support me like:

  • feeding myself good foods
  • getting rest
  • having interesting conversations
  • doing meaningful work
  • connecting with my spiritual source (daily)
  • staying connected with my husband

When either of these stop happening, I find myself “Lost in Space” and freaked out. That happened at the end of last year and it didn’t feel good. However, I did two things that got me on the road to a successful 2018. First I recognized that I had lost touch with myself. Second I attended Watch Service on New Year’s Eve at my church.

As the heart of the family, women feel everything. We feel the conversations that need to happen and anticipate what we intend to say. We feel the frustration of our kids when something doesn’t work out the way they’ve expected. We feel it when our spouse has pulled away from us and it’s time for a heart to heart conversation. We feel when our own spirit has been become restless because we’ve stayed too long in a job or business that no longer feeds us mentally or economically.

The issue is how to have those conversations and continue to move forward, instead of getting stuck. At the end of last year, I had gotten stuck. It was a foreign feeling for me and I almost didn’t recognize what was going on.  However, I had a mild asthma attack! Something I haven’t had in years. Metaphysically, asthma is a deep cry from a soul to be loved and to be cared for. I argued with myself for a day or two – I’ve been loving and caring for myself. Haven’t I? I started taking time to meditate again and did some soul searching. I decided I had more work to do with myself and in my relationships.

What I know is that life is a series of processes. As you work on one area and get it to where you like it and it works well, you realize another part of you needs work. Once that’s done, it may be time to work on the relationships in your life. Are they meeting your needs? Are you meeting theirs? We’re used to overhauling our business and household, but taking a good look at ourselves and our significant others is also important too.

So for 2018, what are you doing differently?

Imagine what it’s like have great time management and work-life balance! If you are struggling to make this happen, Click Here to schedule a complimentary discovery session with me. Want to be a part of something supportive? Click Here to join my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, creator of Finding Superwoman™

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

January 5, 2018 at 1:43 pm Leave a comment

The Importance of Setting Boundaries

Has anyone ever stood too close to you in an elevator? How did you feel? It was uncomfortable right?

Not only do I feel a little claustrophobic in a crowded elevator, I also feel that way when tasks start to pile up on me and I allow them! I don’t say NO!  In the past, there were a lot of reasons that kept me from saying NO –  my environment, my upbringing, my willingness to please; all kept me from saying “No I can’t do that for you.” It didn’t matter whether the request was work-related, friends, or family members.

I realized that I did not set boundaries for myself. I would do the task, but be angry about it. I’d say to myself – “I can’t believe they asked me to do this!” It wasn’t until I realized that I was the only one who could control this. The only way I was going to have time to myself, was to allow myself to set boundaries around what I would and would not do.

Depending on your culture, upbringing, or social status, the only time women feel comfortable setting boundaries is when they don’t feel good. Society understands when women are sick and can’t do something as opposed to not wanting to.It’s a big difference between wanting to do something and not having the resources, and not wanting to do something and not knowing how to say no. Setting boundaries is a way of caring for you. 

Just like with any other habit that we begin, start practicing by saying No. Practice setting boundaries on what you’re willing and unwilling to do. Give yourself permission to say no to things that you really don’t want to do. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but just like with any other habit that you practice, you will be surprised at how comfortable you feel and how it begins to relieve the stress and the anxiety that you experience when you take on yet another project that you really don’t have the time or the desire to do.

As entrepreneurs and busy businesswomen, our success is predicated on making wise decisions. Not just making wise decisions for our businesses, but for ourselves as well. Our male counterparts do it every day. How often has your significant other said no to you? It’s just one little task that needed to be done, and he said no? Don’t get mad at him. Just learn to do it more often – for you.  #setboundaries

Interested in learning more about how to control the stresses in your life and maintain balance? Contact me – to receive information about my inspiring coaching programs for working and entrepreneur mothers.

Click Here to become a part of my Finding Superwoman Facebook community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Founder of Finding Superwoman, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

October 20, 2017 at 12:01 pm Leave a comment

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