Posts filed under ‘mothers’
5 Tips to Managing Your Time
Have you ever said I’ll do that later, only to find that there were at least 3 more things waiting for you to complete…later? For the next 2 ½ minutes, read this carefully and take notes. I am giving you five free tips for mastering your time management. Truly these tips will transform your chaotic day into a calm experience. For years, I had an issue with time. It’s not that I couldn’t arrive on time; it’s making sure that what I was leaving had been completed. For example, I hate leaving the house with tasks undone like cleaning up the kitchen, putting a load of clothes in the wash or finishing one of my tasks as an entrepreneur.
Here’s the secret. I suffered from that syndrome that many working mothers experience in their everyday lives. Perfectionism! I don’t know about you, but I was taught that having a clean, orderly house was my responsibility. Nobody told me to go out and be successful, and by the way, don’t worry about your house. It’ll take care of itself! I also was not taught how to manage household activities as a successful entrepreneur. I did learn it and offer it as one of the lessons in my Kick the Chaos coaching program.
Managing your time is a skill that you want to develop into a habit. Being successful in business may mean you won’t have a clean house. Look at your guy friends or your spouse. When they have appointments or meetings, they are out the door. I know this is true for my husband. It doesn’t matter what’s not operating perfectly (or imperfectly in our home), he practices good time management. ALWAYS!
Clearly in business, timeliness is next to godliness and having a reputation that you can’t make it to meetings or events on time can discredit your credibility. If you have children at home, getting them out of the house (on time) can also impact your schedule. You’re ready for success, aren’t you?
Try these simple tips:
- Set your intention to manage your time today.
Decide today that you are going to manage your time. I learned a long time ago that thoughts are things and if you want to attract specific things into your life, you have to change your thoughts. (It works!)
- Do it now or set a reasonable date for later.
Don’t obsess over what needs to be done. Decide what your most urgent tasks are and do them. If time does not permit this, schedule the tasks on your calendar.
- Make a list of what you want to complete.
I am a big proponent of creating lists, because my dominant learning style is visual and seeing a picture of my daily to dos, keeps it fresh on my mind. Depending on how urgent they are or how many I have, I schedule them in my phone.
- Give yourself time to be on time.
I learned this habit before my kids were born. Take your shower and put on your make-up when you first get up in the morning. For health enthusiasts and meditation gurus like me, pray and work out, then take your shower and put on your make-up. I find that giving myself time to be on time, means I have to work smartly.
- Stop Rushing!
Successful entrepreneurs and business women give themselves time to get to their places of business or meetings. Speeding down the highway and honking your horn before the light turns green is not going to help you make that meeting in a timely fashion. Giving yourself 15 extra minutes allows for unexpected delays.
Become a master by practicing these five time management tips daily. You are on your way to a transformed life.
Imagine what it’s like have great time management and work-life balance!
If you are struggling to make this happen, click Here and schedule a complimentary discovery session with me. Want to be a part of something big? Click Here to join my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, creator of Finding Superwoman™
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
www.clynnwilliams.com
Consistency: A Recipe for Success
When I think of consistency, I think of smooth cake batter; the kind that my mother turned into delicious cakes when I was a child. Consistency means that each separate ingredient blends together to create a delicious end result. 
As an entrepreneur, we are constantly taking individual items, putting them together and turning them into finished products or services. That’s our goal. But what happens when things don’t come together? Or more importantly, what can we do to ensure consistent consistency?
Let’s go back to my cake analogy. Mom would always ensure that she had all of the ingredients to make her cake. Those ingredients were: eggs, butter, sugar, flour, milk, flavoring, etc. Once she had the ingredients, it was important that she mixed the ingredients together until they were completely blended. Since she was a seasoned baker, she could tell from the consistency of her batter, whether the cake was going to be successful or not. Sometimes she may have lacked every ingredient and had to substitute. Depending on what she had to substitute, would determine if the cake tasted good or not.
Consistency is following a series of behaviors and habits. Think about your last product or service. Did you have everything you needed to offer a consistently excellent product or service? Perhaps you needed to:
- Determine a need for your product or service
- Perform research
- Create and try out a test sample
- Measure it against your competition
- Price it competitively
Or maybe it had nothing to do with product or service ingredients, but personal ingredients for success. Maybe your personal recipe for success means that you need to carve out time to eat healthy foods and exercise. Or maybe you are burning the candle at both ends and not getting enough rest. For me that’s always an issue because as an author my inspiration occurs in the wee hours of the morning. However when I prepare for my work-life or family dynamics consultations, I find that I am working late into the evening. We are NOT machines! We are creative beings that make a living based on how consistent we are in our business. It is very difficult to be a boss entrepreneur or corporate woman when you are suffering from fatigue or exhaustion. 
Here are 3 suggestions for creating successful consistency in your business and personal life:
- Set a Goal – successful consistency is moving forward in a positive way. Setting business and personal goals is one of your ingredients toward consistency. One of my goals is getting in bed by 10:30 pm. Lately I have been going to bed at midnight and getting up at 6 am. But remember my creative writing thoughts occur by 4 – 6 am – so going to bed at midnight stifles my writing creativity. Setting a goal gives me something to work toward.
- Form a Habit – It’s easy to form a habit. Just do something consistently for 21 days (or 21 times) and the next thing you know, you have formed a habit. Think about forming some positive habits.
- Join me and start getting more sleep.
- Start eating healthier instead of grabbing that bag of chips or can of soda because you haven’t eaten all day.
While you are forming some new habits, consider replacing the ones that you no longer need or want. For me, it’s giving myself enough time. As a busy entrepreneur, mom and wife, I always have something to do. If I have a morning appointment, getting on the computer is disastrous, because I can lose track of time and have to rush to my meeting instead of arriving with time to look over my notes. Think about what habit you would like to eliminate.
- Practice Self-Care – As a woman, we carry the weight of everyone on our shoulders. We worry about our families, our friends, neighbors, our causes. But we seldom take time for ourselves unless we get sick. Being sick seems to be the only thing that gives us permission to slow down and take care of ourselves. Practice a little self-care and take time daily and do one or all of these things for you:
- Pray or meditate
- Think about 5 things you are grateful for
- Eat a high protein breakfast (or drink a protein smoothie)
- Pick an affirmation and say it to yourself (‘I approve of myself’ or ‘I love myself exactly as I am’)
- Give someone a compliment just cause
- Say a prayer of thanks before going to bed
While consistency is the recipe for success, you are the engine to move your success forward. If taking that first step seems challenging, give me a call and let’s talk about it. Click here to schedule
C. Lynn Williams’ Bio
C. Lynn Williams is an award-winning author, motivational speaker, educator and business owner. Her passion is helping parents create the kind of home life that welcomes communication and trust with their tweens, teens and adult children. Believing working moms can have better work-life balance, she created Finding Superwoman™ a mentoring program to help women kick the chaos out of their life. Her motto: Providing parenting solutions. Building solid foundations. Securing promising futures.
www.clynnwilliams.com
Asking For Help
How often do you ask for help? 
Once a day? Once a month? Never? I know my examples sound extreme but a few weeks ago, I was talking with one of my Finding Superwoman™ coaching clients and she talked about how overwhelmed she was at her home. She has a teen son, a tween daughter and a husband.
When I gently reminded her about these people that live at home with her, she laughed and said ‘Oh they won’t help out.’ 😨 ‘What do you mean they won’t help? Have you asked them?’ ‘Well no, I didn’t think I had to ask for help.’ I now understood her dilemma, she didn’t know how to ask for help. I grew up in a culture of everyone pitching in at home; with the exception of my dad whose only household chores were cutting the grass and painting. 🤷🏽♀️
As young kids, my mother trained us to pick up our toys and clean our rooms (before we were allowed to take our daily nap). As we got older, our responsibilities increased to include things like starting dinner and doing laundry.
My husband and I share household things like cooking and kitchen clean up. If I cook, he cleans the kitchen. The chores are not split equally but I don’t feel like Hazel the maid either.
Asking for help and training your children to help around the house is important for you to maintain a semblance of sanity and order. Whether you work outside of your home, or work from home, doing ‘everything’ does not help you manage your household workload or your peace of mind.
Teaching your children the value of taking responsibility for household chores builds character. It also helps you busy mom (or dad) to do those activities that are uniquely yours to do to insure that the household runs properly.
If you grew up in a house where your mom or dad did not require anything from you except to go to school and get good grades, then this is an opportunity to get outside of your parent comfort zone and build a new skill. It takes three things from you:
1. Decide what chores you want your child(ren) to do
2. Have a family meeting to discuss what your expectation is and when the chores will begin as well as the consequences of what will happen if the chores are not done
3. Be flexible as you establish these new routines. Rome wasn’t built in a day, nor will your tweens and teens easily accept a new set of responsibilities without some grumbling. Stay consistent with your expectations of them and stay sane!
For more tips like these, look for my weekly blog. Click here to download my Moms Can Have It All worksheet.
Best wishes,
C. Lynn Williams – #MsParentguru
How Are You Managing Your Finances?
April is Financial Literacy Month, and I asked a financially smart friend of mine – Syndie Schmeltzer to share her ideas of how to be savvy when it comes to our finances. Basically kick the chaos from financial mismanagement and increase your wealth!
It’s Financial Literacy Month! 
As women we usually end up being the ones in charge of the money that comes into the household. So ask yourself: How can we truly provide what’s best for our family if we don’t fully understand how money works.
Let this be the year you take control of your finances…
– Wouldn’t you like to find the money you didn’t know you had?
– How about knowing how to have your money work just as hard as you do?
– What about paying for college?
– Wouldn’t you finally like to understand if you have enough protection for your family?
These are just a few of the topics that will be taught during our “Money Smart Week”.
Here’s a tip you can start using today.
Do you know the Rule of 72? This simple but little known formula is a great way to estimate how long it will take your money to double.
Here’s how it works: Take the number 72 and divide it by the rate of interest you hope to earn.
That’s it!
The number you get will tell you approximately how many years it will take for your money to double.
For example, say you had $50 in an account at a 2% interest rate. Using the Rule of 72:
72 ÷ 2 = 36
That means it would take approximately 36 years for your $50 to grow to $100. (This formula really shows the value of a higher interest rate, doesn’t it?)
When you know how money works, you know that time can either work for you or against you. So start leveraging the rule of 72 today! Ask me about being Money Smart.
For more information, contact me by email or phone:
Syndie.schmeltzer@oakbrookfinancialcenter.com 630-842-9357
Thank you Syndie for your excellent financial tips!
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Tantrums of a Grown Woman
What adults do you know have TEMPER TANTRUMS? Have you ever had a hissy, (a bitch fit, a melt-down) and didn’t know how to handle it? Where did that anger come from? I mean it’s one thing to get angry; it’s another to get so mad, you can hardly control yourself! I’m talking about how I felt and what I did to control myself. I’ve been angry before, and found that I felt better if I could blame someone else for how I felt – like my kids or my husband or my hormones. And while I know that’s not healthy, it’s what I did at that time. I’ve since MATURED!
I was really angry at the circumstances that I found myself in. On the one hand I was following my own advice, the advice that I give my Finding Superwoman™ clients when they start to feel overwhelmed. However I was mad at my Creator for being in the situation that I was in. As a faith-based person, I believe that you decide what path you want to take, pray about it and Take a Leap (of faith). As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr said: “Faith is taking the first step, even if you don’t see the whole staircase.”
As I gave myself time to think about what was really going on in my life, I decided that it wasn’t my faith or Creator, it was the choices that I had made for the last year and a half and the daily thoughts that I was thinking that landed me in the position that I found myself.
When things get tough for us as grown women, I believe there are a couple of ways you can handle the situation. 1: You can either have a temper tantrum (like I did), or 2: You can take deep look at the chain of events that got you where you currently are. The deep look inside builds wisdom because it causes you to do self-reflection.
On this particular morning, I allowed myself to have a meltdown – – a temper tantrum and decided to feel sorry for myself, the world is so cruel and that was it. That didn’t last very long because it felt weird. I settled down, reached for my journal and wrote how I felt; then asked for guidance. It didn’t take long and I felt better.
I would love to hear How you handle disappointments?
When I coach my clients about finding their superwoman, I encourage them to discuss what’s really bugging them and determine what is most important in their life: work, family or relationships. Once they’ve sorted out what’s most important, we work on determining how to remove stress and those feelings of being overwhelmed by what family members and work associates think about the decisions we’ve made. I believe that you can have a wonderful relationship with your partner and your children as well as a successful career. If you are struggling to make this happen, Click Here to schedule a complimentary discovery session.
C. Lynn Williams
Award-winning Author & Founder of Finding Superwoman™
www.clynnwilliams.com
5 Steps to Overcoming the Guilt of Missed Milestones
When I was growing up, I never understood why my mom constantly talked to me about what to do if something other than what she planned – happened. I was the oldest, and she expected me to be able to continue to follow through if circumstances interrupted her plans for us. She was very intentional about planning and said it helped her manage her hectic schedule of being a wife, mother and a working woman, as well as ours. 
As a wife, mother and entrepreneur, I realize how important it is to plan for the unexpected, whether it’s a car accident that causes schedules to be delayed or whether it’s a last minute science project and supplies have to be purchased. I also know what’s like to miss an event for my kids and feeling guilty about it. One of the ways I help my clients is to help them work through issues like guilt and keep guilt, stress and overwhelm from making them feel inadequate, overwhelmed or like a failure.
2017 is a great year to lose your guilt. As an entrepreneur, wife and mother, there was nothing that stressed me out like an unexpected event or family emergency. I’ve learned how to move past guilt and I talked about it during my webinar on Tuesday. I shared 5 key steps to managing guilt during my Missed Milestones webinar as part of a plan to help working women and mothers get a better handle on stress and anxiety.
If you missed this free webinar, no worries, the replay is available until Wednesday, March 1st
Click here to watch the replay.
Don’t miss it! Kick the chaos out of your life!
When I mentor my clients about finding their superwoman, I encourage them to determine what is most important in each area of their life: work, family and relationships. Once they’ve sorted out what’s most important, we go to work determining how to remove guilt and those feelings of being overwhelmed by what our family members and work associates think about the decisions we’ve made.
You can have a wonderful relationship with your partner and your children as well as a promising career. If making this happen is really hard for you, text CONSULT to 708.501.7060 for a complimentary discovery session with me.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
Founder, Finding Superwoman™
http://www.clynnwilliams.com
Please Put That Away
I treated myself to lunch today and did what I love most — people watch. As a parent blogger, I find that there’s always a story either at the table next to or across from me in most restaurants. 
There wasn’t a lot going on next to me, so I looked around the room. I like watching people and their children. They make the most interesting stories to share.
I looked across the room and there was the most adorable African American boy staring back at me. He was probably 5 years old. I smiled at him and he waved. Pure love! His mom never looked up from her phone during our brief exchange. Nor did she look up or talk to him except once or twice with an angry look on her face. They were there when I got to my table and stayed about 45 minutes.
Now I’m intrigued because he was basically on his own to amuse himself without a w
ord from his mom. I guess in fairness I could have gone over and asked her if he was her son, but what if she told me to mind my own business? Not a good outcome.
I tried, really tried to mind my own business and starting playing Words with Friends but my curiosity took over and I looked over to see if they were having any interactions or conversations.
Nothing! He’s just a little boy, and I don’t know the history of their relationship. But when we ignore our kids, they either find other people to talk to or they act out for attention. He looked like he needed a hug. I wish I could have given him one. ❤
Kids take a lot of time and sometimes all we want is an hour by ourselves. I can help you figure that time out and relate to your kids. Give me a call. 224-357-6314
C. Lynn Williams
#MsParentguru
Author & Founder of Finding Superwoman
Help for Stressed Out Working Moms
When I was growing up, my mom and grandmother always told me that cleanliness is next to godliness. Right along with that saying, my mom stressed being organized. She felt that being organized helped her manage her hectic schedule of being a wife, mother and working.
As a wife, mother and entrepreneur, I realize how important it is to be organized not only in my home, but in my business and in my head. I’ve talked about it with my clients and often hear that they feel that staying organized is impossible especially at home because either the kids have their stuff everywhere or your partner does – or both are culprits.
Why not start now? 2017 is a great year to become more organized. As an entrepreneur, wife and mother, there is always something I need or should be doing with my time. On Tuesday, I shared 4 key steps to getting organized during my Getting Organized webinar. This webinar is a part of my Kick the Chaos strategy to help working women and mothers like you, get a better handle on their work-life balance.
If you missed this free webinar, no worries, I’ve posted the replay until Wednesday, Feb 1st
Click here to watch the replay: http://bit.ly/2k5TxW7
Don’t miss it! Kick the chaos out of your life!
When I coach my clients about finding their superwoman, I encourage them to determine what is most important in each area of their life: work, family and relationships. Once they’ve sorted out what’s most important, we go to work determining how to remove guilt and those feelings of being overwhelmed by what our family members and work associates think about the decisions we’ve made. You can have a wonderful relationship with your partner and your children as well as a promising career. If making this happen is really hard for you, text CONSULT to 708.501.7060 for a complimentary discovery session with me.
C. Lynn Williams
Author & Founder of Finding Superwoman™
http://www.clynnwilliams.com
The Good..The Bad..The Ugly
Even though my kids are adults, I’m still an involved mom because I talk with one or all of them daily about the good, the bad, and the ugly in their lives. It’s sort of like being on call. I find that I constantly manage my life and work (marriage too) around theirs. Moms who are reading this know what I’m talking about if this happens to you: You have a perfect plan to complete the chapter for your next book and receive a call from your daughter who needs to talk. Do you tell her – “I’m sorry I have a deadline for this chapter and I’ll have to talk with you later”? Or, do you put on your mother hat, and listen to her talk out the 20th problem that is ruining her life?
Whatever you decide, stress sets in when you allow too many of your children’s problems and concerns to hijack your day, week, or month. It’s difficult to say no to our kids, because we are so used to doing for them. However, since they are used to being cared for by us, it can become a challenge letting them grow into the wonderful, self-sufficient adults that we know they can be. Statistics show that 25% of parents are using their retirement to pay rent or groceries for their millennial children (21 years or older).
For Superwomen like me, here are some ideas on how to achieve less stress when it comes to your children:
- Take a moment to think about your answer and what you are committing to before you commit. For example if your son asks you to pay his car insurance (“Just for this month Mom”). Think about what it does to your budget. If you can afford it. What lessons does it teach him?
- Listen without advising the next time your daughter asks you what should she do about the guy that she’s been dating for five years. (You’re not crazy about him anyway, so keeping your opinions to yourself will be very challenging.)
- Let the call go to voicemail when your child calls you for the 5th time today because she can’t figure something out. I know this is really a tough one because who else will talk her through if not you. Give her some time to build her mental muscle (she is a superwoman in the making) and call her later. You will be surprised to see how she worked out her problem and matured a little more in the process.
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons or Fathers and Daughters.
Click Here to receive my newsletter and notices of my future events.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
Every Adult Is Not Parent Material
When I read or listen to the news about parents abusing or killing their children, my heart breaks and I know they must not have had someone that they could reach out to and ask 
for help. Last night I read about a woman who was insanely jealous and suffocated one of her children because she thought her boyfriend was cheating on her. Other stories talk about how women didn’t feel they had anything to live for and decided to take their own life and the lives of their children.
I realize that children come into our lives in different ways. Some people have kids very early in life (or late in life) and love them as the spiritual gifts they are. Other people have them “accidentally” and treat them as objects or hindrances and never really “get it“, that the child in their life is truly a gift from God and here to teach us specific lessons.
While I was a twenty-something, I didn’t want kids. I wanted to climb the corporate ladder and go as high as I could without the responsibility of raising children. Plus growing up I had had many jobs babysitting kids (as well as watching my own brother & sister), so no thank you was my answer to having kids! After much thought and five years of marriage, I decided, I had room in my heart for a child. While that was my decision, I realize not everybody gets to decide or puts that kind of thought into having their children; I just wish they would.
Raising kids is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done! Kids take your Time, your Patience, your Energy and all of your Money! However I would do it again without a second thought. Were there times that I wanted to give them back to the Creator? Yes – probably so! But that’s the time that you reach out to someone close to you; someone who is saner than you and you say “Help! I need some time to myself“.
If we’re honest, we know some of those women before they’ve reached the breaking point. If you’re like me, you feel their “strangeness” when they come around you. Follow your intuition next time. When you feel that one of your women-friends or family members is a little too quiet or withdrawn, reach out to her and offer her your time and attention. Take her children for the day, so she can take some time for herself. You’ll have to do it without judging her because life has a way of coming back around to each of us. Today it may be your turn to help a woman out, and tomorrow, that woman may be in a position to help you. You never know. I call it KARMA.
For my prayer warriors, here is my prayer: “Father, today we pray for those facing desperate and lonely times. We pray especially for poor and defenseless children everywhere. Help us meet their needs as we are able.” Daily Bread 12/21/2016
Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!
C. Lynn Williams
@MsParentguru
www.clynnwilliams.com
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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