Posts filed under ‘parenting’
How to Motivate Our Kids
Did you ever take music lessons or practice a sport to become the best? It’s called deliberate practice and there are important life skills that children learn when they practice becoming better at something. One lesson that comes up for me is resilience. My daughter wanted to take dance lessons, and once she started attending the class, she decided she didn’t like it and wanted to quit. That happens often with children. They will like something because their friends like it. The challenge is getting them to stick it out until a natural ending like a concert or the season ends. Requiring them to finish at a natural ending point, teaches tolerance.

You see it a lot in some cultures where practice is relentless, but the outcomes are amazing. I think about the Olympics and Russians gymnasts. I thought they excelled because of their over-the-top work ethic. I also think about Chinese students and music. Practice makes their performances better!
This deliberate practice requires us (as parents) to perform our show and tell. It’s one thing to tell your child to go and practice their clarinet. It’s quite a different feeling when you share with them that on your job or in your business, you have goals to attain and the better that you are at setting those goals, the better you are at mastering them and achieving them or smashing them!
Parents, we have an opportunity here to build excellence no matter what your economic or social standing. When your kids are with you, get them to do more of what they like and practice it until it is amazing. You notice I’m not saying perfect because perfect means there’s no room to grow and be better and there’s always room to grow and be better. I’m also suggesting that you allow them to do something that they like, as opposed to what you like for them. It’s less of a struggle…

By the way, this is not just a skill for musically and sports inclined children. For the kids who love academics; who love reading; who love writing; who love tech; help them find tune that skill and motivate them to become outliers.
An outlier is a person that stands out from all other members of a particular group or set. They stand out! That’s a positive thing. Our children are born with gifts that require motivation, nurturing and fine-tuning to stand out. As parents, this is what we can offer our children:
- A safe home environment
- Food to eat
- Love
- Encouragement
- Structure
Sometimes the gifts that live inside of our child, are quite different from ours or anyone within our family. It doesn’t make the gift wrong or strange… just different.
So practice motivating your child and that gift of theirs, while they are on summer break. If you haven’t already seen their brilliance peek out, keep watching.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
The Blending Of Blended Families

Falling in love with a man or woman is wonderful and exciting. But how will his children feel with you as their stepmom … or better yet how will yours feel?
Click on the link below and watch the rest of my video blog!
Want to learn more about your family’s dynamics? Order a copy of my book: Yours & Mine: A Winning Blended Family Formula
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
How the Sins of Our Mothers Scar Us
My sister and I always felt that our mom favored our brother Tony. Her heart seemed to be softer on his behalf. Don’t get me wrong, Tony got into trouble and was punished too, but not as much once my parents split up. What I now know, is that Mom was compensating for my dad being absent in his life. She did the best she knew how.
Since I was in college during my sister and brother’s high years; years AD (after divorce), I didn’t see much preferential treatment bestowed on Tony.
Mom could do a lot of things really well! When it came to organization and getting things done, my mom was AWESOME! I learned how to speak up for and take care of myself because of my mother. Showing emotions, wasn’t her strength. She was unable to teach me how to love and nurture myself or anyone else. So in high school and college, I was pretty detached in my relationships. I kept to myself and only opened up to my closest friends.
Once I became a mom and started seeking my mother’s advice, I asked her why she seldom said she loved us or hugged. Her words were “My mom didn’t treat us that way.”
Here’s the deal: families live and die emotionally through experiences with the moms in their lives. If your mom did not receive praise and lots of ‘I love yous’ ❤️ as a child, then they either feel that it was unwarranted (when they raise children) or they are emotionally unable to share those kinds of feelings.
It is definitely possible that mothers will give lots of love and praise when they have their own children even if they didn’t receive it as a child. I have many friends who are wonderful moms, and when asked about their childhood, they say they didn’t get along with their mom. When pressed to explain further, they say they wanted a different experience for their own children. ❤️
When mothers are harsh and don’t exhibit warmth and love to their son or daughter, that child grows up similar to a sociopath who acts without feelings or conscious.
How do we change that behavior?
One child at a time…
Yes I know you are busy working and raising a family…
Yes, I know you never had a relationship with your mom or dad and don’t know how to talk (civilly) or show love…
Yes, it’s hard…
But not impossible…
Start by taking baby steps.

- “Good morning, I love you.”
- “Good night I love you.”
- “Have a good day at school.” (Hug your son or daughter)
- “You mean everything to me.”
These statements go a long way toward building a better relationship.
That’s nice. ❤️
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
How to Defuse Anger in Your Family

Have you noticed that the people around you (at work or school) are so angry? Maybe it’s you or people within your family.
How do you keep that anger emotion from taking over?
Listen to my YouTube vlog and let me know what you think. Click here. Once you’re done subscribe to my YouTube channel.
Want to learn more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
When Growing Up Is Hard To Do
I am sharing a sad but heartfelt response from a mother who cannot get her 19 year old son to go to school or get a job. Thank you Jennifer Perez.
“Drive him to a homeless shelter and help him get on the waiting list. Then, on the way home, while he’s waiting for his name to come up on the list, discuss what homelessness will be like.
This way, you won’t find him in the streets when you kick him out…he’ll be on the list for shelter. No guilt! No worries! It’s all in his hands! And he’s already on a path to correction.
Then, give him a 30-day notice to either find a job, go to school or move. And have him pack while waiting to leave. Tell him, since he’s on the homeless list, he’ll be okay, EVENTUALLY, but he can sleep in the streets like other “bums” until then.
Stop giving him any more money. Make him earn it. And tell him he can collect cans and save to get a place. Let him learn how to get money when he’s homeless. Also, stop allowing him to use the washer and dryer at home. Let him figure out another way to get his clothing clean.
Put him in the life and let him see what he’s about to lose. He may change his mind and if he doesn’t? You’ve already prepared him for homelessness.”
This is tough love, and not something that is easy to do. At some point, when our young adult won’t move forward with their life, they need our help. We experienced this with our youngest son, who wouldn’t go to school and couldn’t (wouldn’t) work. For mothers, it is particularly hard to put your son out. We love our sons so much, and feel that putting them out is giving up on them.
Just remember that if you practice tough love at 19 years old, you won’t still support him financially at 35 years old.
Interested in learning more about mother-son dynamics? Read my book: The Pampered Prince: Mom’s Create A GREAT Relationship With Your Son. Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
Blogpost Comments