Posts filed under ‘raising sons’
Raising Sons: 3 Essential Tips for Building Strong Bonds
Raising sons is a journey filled with challenges, triumphs, and countless lessons—not just for them but for you as a parent. Whether they’re stomping around like dinosaurs, grappling with teenage moods fueled by testosterone, or navigating the complexities of relationships, one thing is certain: your role as a parent shapes who they become.
As I dive into the unique dynamics of father-son relationships in my upcoming book, Fathers Raising Sons Through Dinosaurs, Testosterone & Girls, I want to share three essential tips for raising emotionally healthy, confident, and compassionate boys.
1. Teach Emotional Intelligence: Let Them Feel
Society often tells boys to “man up” or “stop crying,” leaving them to suppress their emotions instead of understanding and processing them. This emotional suppression can lead to struggles with vulnerability and connection later in life.
Tip:
- Encourage your son to talk about his feelings and assure him that it’s okay to feel sad, scared, or frustrated.
- Share your own experiences with emotions—whether it’s a time you felt overwhelmed or a moment you found joy in the small things. Modeling emotional openness teaches your son that emotions are a strength, not a weakness.
Actionable Idea:
Create a “feelings check-in” routine. At the end of the day, ask your son to share one thing that made him happy, one thing that frustrated him, and one thing he’s grateful for.
2. Discipline with Compassion: Be the Guide, Not the Judge
As parents, it’s easy to fall into the trap of correcting every misstep. However, discipline should be more about teaching than punishing. The goal is to help your son understand the “why” behind your rules, not just enforce compliance.
Tip:
- Set clear expectations and consequences, but always take the time to explain your reasoning.
- Balance discipline with encouragement. When your son succeeds, acknowledge his effort and growth.
Actionable Idea:
Instead of saying, “I told you to clean your room because I said so,” try explaining, “Keeping your space clean helps you stay organized and responsible—it’s a life skill you’ll thank yourself for later.”
3. Spend Quality Time: Presence Over Perfection
Boys thrive on connection, and nothing builds a stronger bond than spending intentional, distraction-free time together. Whether it’s tossing a ball in the backyard, building something together, or simply talking over a meal, your presence matters more than your words.
Tip:
- Make time for activities that your son loves—even if they’re outside your comfort zone.
- Create traditions, big or small, that give your son something to look forward to and cherish.
Actionable Idea:
Establish a weekly “Dad & Son Day” or “Parent-Son Day” where you dedicate time to an activity of his choice. It could be as simple as going for ice cream or as adventurous as a hike.
Final Thoughts
Raising sons isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about showing up with love, intention, and a willingness to learn together. The father-son relationship is one of the most profound bonds in a child’s life. By nurturing emotional intelligence, guiding with compassion, and investing in quality time, you’re not just raising a boy—you’re shaping a man who will carry your lessons into the world.
As I share more tips, stories, and insights in my upcoming book, I’d love to hear your thoughts. I’m deciding between two potential titles:
- Fathers Raising Sons Through Dinosaurs, Testosterone & Girls
- Fathers & Sons: Turning Boys Into Men
Which one speaks to you the most? Drop your favorite in the comments, send me a direct message, or connect with me on social media—I’d love your input! Your feedback will help shape how I connect with fathers, sons, and families everywhere.
👉 Connect with me here:
- Instagram: @msparentguru
- Facebook: msparentguru
- Email: clynn@clynnwilliams.com
- Visit my website: clynn.company.site to order your copy of my books or explore my coaching programs designed to help parents strengthen their family relationships.
Let’s raise the next generation of kind, confident, and resilient men together!
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Navigating the Mother-Son Relationship: Building Bonds
The mother-son relationship is a unique bond that significantly impacts both individuals. While nurturing is essential, encouraging independence and setting boundaries is crucial for healthy development. Mothers must avoid over-nurturing to prevent raising dependent sons. The author offers strategies in her book to cultivate balanced, respectful relationships that foster emotional intelligence and responsibility.
Continue Reading October 10, 2024 at 8:12 pm Leave a comment
How to Help Your Child Develop Independence and Accountability
Helping children learn personal responsibility is one of the most important lessons they can carry into adulthood.
Continue Reading September 25, 2024 at 1:10 pm Leave a comment
How to Motivate Our Kids
Did you ever take music lessons or practice a sport to become the best? It’s called deliberate practice and there are important life skills that children learn when they practice becoming better at something. One lesson that comes up for me is resilience. My daughter wanted to take dance lessons, and once she started attending the class, she decided she didn’t like it and wanted to quit. That happens often with children. They will like something because their friends like it. The challenge is getting them to stick it out until a natural ending like a concert or the season ends. Requiring them to finish at a natural ending point, teaches them tolerance.
You see it a lot in some cultures where practice is relentless, but the outcomes are amazing. I think about the Olympics and Russians gymnasts. They excel because of their over-the-top work ethic. I also think about Chinese students and music. Practice makes their performances better!
This deliberate practice requires us (as parents) to perform our show and tell. It’s one thing to tell your child to go and practice their clarinet. It’s quite a different feeling when you share with them that on your job or in your business, you have goals to attain and the better that you are at setting those goals, the better you are at mastering them and achieving them or smashing them!
We have an opportunity as parents, to build excellence no matter what your economic or social standing. When your kids are with you, get them to do more of what they like and practice it until it is amazing. You notice I’m not saying perfect because perfect means there’s no room to grow and be better and there’s always room to grow and be better. I’m also suggesting that you allow them to do something that they like, as opposed to what you like for them. It’s less of a struggle…
By the way, this is not just a skill for musically and sports inclined children. For the kids who love academics; who love reading; who love writing; who love tech; help them find tune that skill and motivate them to become outliers.
An outlier is a person that stands out from all other members of a particular group or set. They stand out! That’s a positive thing. Our children are born with gifts that require motivation, nurturing and fine-tuning to stand out. As parents, this is what we can offer our children:
- A safe home environment
- Food to eat
- Love
- Encouragement
- Structure
- Hope
Sometimes the gifts that live inside of our child, are quite different from ours or anyone within our family. It doesn’t make the gift wrong or strange… just different.
So practice motivating your child and that gift of theirs, while they are on summer break. If you haven’t already seen their brilliance peek out, keep watching.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
Give Them Something To Believe In
Life is funny, you leave one crisis, and move into a second or third one.
This week I’m thinking about boys… yes, our sons. And the challenges some of them face growing up.
For the last several years, we have experienced a number of young men losing their life to gun violence. Violence of being shot by rivals and violence due to police shootings. Last year (2020), not only did we experience over 600,000 people who died from COVID-19, we also watched as the number of black boys and men who were shot and killed by police, increased.
Toward the end of 2020, many cities noticed a rash of crimes where people were being carjacked and robbed or killed. Many of these crimes were committed by young men, some as young as 11 or 12. It makes you wonder what kind of direction or guidance they are receiving at home?
I had firsthand knowledge of guidance for a young boy.
My little brother…
I think back to my brother and how he responded to my mom and dad’s divorce. He was young, about 11 years old and missed having Dad at home. He was angry and felt alone.
He started getting into trouble.
A lot. Getting into trouble in those days, meant being disrespectful, destroying somebody’s property, or stealing. Our dad wasn’t coming by for regular visits, but if my mother called about my brother, Dad would come and discipline him.
My brother was so unhappy that he began trying to take his life. (Thank God he was unsuccessful.) He also began hanging out with the “bad boys” in the neighborhood.
My mother sold our house and moved to a different neighborhood.
Who can say what kind of stress these boys are undergoing at home?
- It could be due to financial issues.
- Maybe the stress is verbal or physical.
- Your son could be dealing with depression.
- Perhaps he is reacting to deaths of people he knows due to COVID-19, domestic or gun violence. If his family has gang affiliation and the violence is orchestrated by gang leaders, imagine how stressful that could be.
How do you help your son if he is facing any of these (or other issues)? What do you do if he’s going through male teen angst? Maybe he’s exhibiting disrespectful, aggressive, violent behavior or mood swings.
What happens if you can’t change neighborhoods?
Try these five things before giving up or seeking professional help:
- Schedule Time With Your Son – talk frequently and spend regularly scheduled time with him and keep his schedule jam-packed with school, sports, clubs, time with friends, and after-school jobs.
- Set a Sleep Routine – it’s easier being a teen if he’s getting enough sleep.
- Get Moving – the last thing a moody teen wants to do is get up and move, but it’s one of the best ways he can feel better.
- Listen Without Lecturing – resist the urge to lecture your son. Listen with an open mind.
- Keep Your Cool – take a deep breath, keep your cool and find a way to communicate without lashing out.
Find an honorable, trustworthy male mentor that he can talk to, when he can’t talk to you. Remember to model healthy ways to handle stress. Take good care yourself.
I help parents build the kind of communication and trust that allows parent-child relationships to grow and feel better through coaching and parent classes. Email me for more information: info@clynnwilliams.com 😘
Thanks for reading my blog. Follow me on Instagram and Twitter @MsParentguru.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
What Mother’s Day Means to Me
As we approach Mother’s Day, I’m reminded of a question that I asked my Mom years ago as my sister and I were planning a Mother’s Day celebration for her. I wanted to know why she waited to confirm our activities (with her) until she had spoken with my grandmother – her mother. She told me as long as her mother was alive, she would celebrate Mother’s Day with her. My mom is no longer with me, and as a mom and grandmother, I now understand the “order of things“.
Here are 5 lessons that I learned from my mom:
- Be nice to people (you never now what they’re going through)
- Slow down and look at yourself in the mirror (you’re moving too fast)
- Have FUN
- When things are going awry (crazy), declare Divine Order
- Keep a credit card or mad money handy in case you need it
Those tips helped me through the sanest and the craziest times of my life. My mom was very practical! My mother wasn’t the affectionate type who constantly told me how much she loved me. That was okay, because she showed me how much I meant to her – that mattered.
Celebrate the love you have for mother figures in your life. I realize that some of us didn’t have the love relationship with our mothers. If so, I hope you had someone that nurtured you in loving ways. If you haven’t spoken in a while, pick up the phone and say hi. Mend the fence. Let go of those painful memories and make some new ones. Think of the other women who made life complete for you – grandmothers, aunties, your best friend’s mom and everyone else who held the space that mothers hold. Enjoy your weekend.
Life is too short to sweat the small stuff!
Happy Mother’s Day
C. Lynn Williams, @MsParentguru
Have a Son – Be Prepared to Be Swept Off Your Feet
My grandson is 7 months old and his personality is coming out more and more. I’m always happy to hear about his latest discovery and activity. While my daughter and son-in-law believe in Baby A sleeping in his own bed, lately he has been sleeping in theirs.
My daughter says she woke up one morning and Baby A had his arm around her neck, like a boyfriend and she was amused. Her hubby wasn’t…
Here’s what I know:
Moms are the first “girl” that their son knows…
He quickly learns that she takes care of him a lot, especially if she is breastfeeding him.
She plays with him and he loves it, so he gives her attention and unconditional love.
Unconditional love is intoxicating like a delicious bottle of wine…
You can’t get enough of it.
As baby boys get older, they bring their “favorite girl” (Mom) flowers (dandelions), gifts (worms or rocks) and anything else that will make her smile. Mom of course loves the gifts and the attention, and now the sweeping off your feet is taking place.
There is nothing like a son. Depending on his home environment, he will always be concerned about “Mom”. It’s a wonderful relationship to have as long as we remember that our sons will grow up, fall in love and leave home.
Let him and welcome the person that he chooses.
He will always be your son and you will always be his mother.
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics?
Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
How to Motivate Our Kids
Did you ever take music lessons or practice a sport to become the best? It’s called deliberate practice and there are important life skills that children learn when they practice becoming better at something. One lesson that comes up for me is resilience. My daughter wanted to take dance lessons, and once she started attending the class, she decided she didn’t like it and wanted to quit. That happens often with children. They will like something because their friends like it. The challenge is getting them to stick it out until a natural ending like a concert or the season ends. Requiring them to finish at a natural ending point, teaches tolerance.
You see it a lot in some cultures where practice is relentless, but the outcomes are amazing. I think about the Olympics and Russians gymnasts. I thought they excelled because of their over-the-top work ethic. I also think about Chinese students and music. Practice makes their performances better!
This deliberate practice requires us (as parents) to perform our show and tell. It’s one thing to tell your child to go and practice their clarinet. It’s quite a different feeling when you share with them that on your job or in your business, you have goals to attain and the better that you are at setting those goals, the better you are at mastering them and achieving them or smashing them!
Parents, we have an opportunity here to build excellence no matter what your economic or social standing. When your kids are with you, get them to do more of what they like and practice it until it is amazing. You notice I’m not saying perfect because perfect means there’s no room to grow and be better and there’s always room to grow and be better. I’m also suggesting that you allow them to do something that they like, as opposed to what you like for them. It’s less of a struggle…
By the way, this is not just a skill for musically and sports inclined children. For the kids who love academics; who love reading; who love writing; who love tech; help them find tune that skill and motivate them to become outliers.
An outlier is a person that stands out from all other members of a particular group or set. They stand out! That’s a positive thing. Our children are born with gifts that require motivation, nurturing and fine-tuning to stand out. As parents, this is what we can offer our children:
- A safe home environment
- Food to eat
- Love
- Encouragement
- Structure
Sometimes the gifts that live inside of our child, are quite different from ours or anyone within our family. It doesn’t make the gift wrong or strange… just different.
So practice motivating your child and that gift of theirs, while they are on summer break. If you haven’t already seen their brilliance peek out, keep watching.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
How to be a Committed 2015 Parent
As 2014 draws to a close, thank you for supporting me and reading my Staying Sane blog. 2014 was a tough year for parents. The news constantly reported assaults (or murders) on our kids whether from strangers, peers or adults. It’s enough to make you want to move to an uninhabited island until your child becomes an adult. However, we know that’s not going to happen! The best we can do is enjoy the time we have with our young people, and be awesome role models. As a parent, my goal in 2015 is to be a better listener and example setter. What are your parent goals for 2015?
Love between dads & daughters
It’s easy to be the type of parent that says “Do What I Say” instead of being the type of role model that you want your son or daughter to follow. God holds us accountable to be the best parents we can be. Fatherless or motherless kids are forced to raise themselves and we have seen the devastation that a kid trying to raise himself/herself brings.
Are you committed to being the best parent you can possibly be? Our kids spell L-O-V-E with T-I-M-E. Make 2015 special with the time, love and commitment that you share with your son or daughter. Dads talk to that pre-teen daughter about a pledge to wait before having sex. Moms help your son become the best man he can become by holding him accountable to complete tasks and responsibilities when you assign them.
Is parenting easy? Not at all, however you can do this. And I can help! Become a part of my new parent membership program called Parent Sense. Click here to give me your contact information so that I can notify you with more details.
Happy New Parenting Year!
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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