Posts filed under ‘single moms’

Have a Son – Be Prepared to Be Swept Off Your Feet

My grandson is 7 months old and his personality is coming out more and more. I’m always happy to hear about his latest discovery and activity. While my daughter and son-in-law believe in Baby A sleeping in his own bed, lately he has been sleeping in theirs.

My daughter says she woke up one morning and Baby A had his arm around her neck, like a boyfriend and she was amused. Her hubby wasn’t…

Here’s what I know:

Moms are the first “girl” that their son knows…

He quickly learns that she takes care of him a lot, especially if she is breastfeeding him.

She plays with him and he loves it, so he gives her attention and unconditional love.

Unconditional love is intoxicating like a delicious bottle of wine…

You can’t get enough of it.

As baby boys get older, they bring their “favorite girl” (Mom) flowers (dandelions), gifts (worms or rocks) and anything else that will make her smile. Mom of course loves the gifts and the attention, and now the sweeping off your feet is taking place.

There is nothing like a son. Depending on his home environment, he will always be concerned about “Mom”. It’s a wonderful relationship to have as long as we remember that our sons will grow up, fall in love and leave home.

Let him and welcome the person that he chooses.

He will always be your son and you will always be his mother.

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics?

Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

October 10, 2019 at 1:37 pm Leave a comment

Want to Better Manage Your Time?

Have you ever said I’ll do that later, only to find that there were at least 3 more things that you needed to complete? For the next 2 ½ minutes, read this carefully and take notes. I am giving you five free tips for mastering your time management. Truly these tips will transform your chaotic day into a calm experience. For years, I had an issue with time. It’s not that I couldn’t arrive on time; it’s making sure that what I was leaving had been completed. For example, I hate leaving the house with tasks undone like cleaning up the kitchen, putting a load of clothes in the wash or finishing one of my tasks as an entrepreneur.

Here’s the secret. I suffered from that syndrome that many working mothers experience in their everyday lives. Perfectionism! I don’t know about you, but I was taught that having a clean, orderly house was my responsibility. Nobody told me to go out and be successful, and by the way, don’t worry about having a perfectly clean house. It’ll take care of itself! What I wasn’t taught and I won’t be teaching this today either – how to manage household activities as a successful entrepreneur.  That’s one of the lessons in my Time Management for Busy Moms program.

Managing your time is a skill that you want to develop into a habit. Being successful in business may mean you won’t have a clean house. Look at your guy friends or your spouse. When they have appointments or meetings, they are out the door. I know this is true for my husband. It doesn’t matter what’s not operating perfectly (or imperfectly in our home), he practices good time management. ALWAYS!

Clearly in business, timeliness is next to godliness and having a reputation that you can’t make it to meetings or events on time can discredit your credibility. If you have children at home, getting them out of the house (on time) can also impact your schedule. You’re ready for success, aren’t you?

Try these simple tips:

  • Set your intention to manage your time today.

Decide today that you are going to manage your time. I learned a long time ago that thoughts are things and if you want to attract specific things into your life, you have to change your thoughts. (It works!)

  • Do it now or set a reasonable date for later.

Don’t obsess over what needs to be done. Decide what your most urgent tasks are and do them. If time does not permit this, schedule the tasks on your calendar.

  • Make a list of what you want to complete.

I am a big proponent of creating lists, because my dominant learning style is visual and seeing a picture of my daily to dos, keeps it fresh on my mind. Depending on how urgent they are or how many I have, I schedule them in my phone.

  • Give yourself time to be on time.

I learned this habit before my kids were born. Take your shower and put on your make-up when you first get up in the morning. For health enthusiasts and meditation gurus like me, pray and work out, then take your shower and put on your make-up. I find that giving myself time to be on time, means I have to work smartly.

  • Stop rushing!

Successful entrepreneurs and business women give themselves time to get to their places of business or meetings. Speeding down the highway and honking your horn before the light turns green is not going to help you make that meeting in a timely fashion. Giving yourself 15 extra minutes allows for unexpected delays.

Become a master by practicing these five time management tips daily. You are on your way to a transformed life.

Imagine what it’s like have great time management AND work-life balance! If you are struggling to make this happen, Click Here to receive my Ultimate Mom Planner chock full of great organizers and organizational tips. Want to be a part of a group of women just like you? Click Here to join my FREE Facebook group – Balanced Moms Club.

C. Lynn Williams, creator of Finding Superwoman™

Family Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

October 11, 2018 at 8:01 am Leave a comment

What Makes Us Hold On to Our Sons

I remember feeling happy when I got pregnant with my second child. But I wondered where would I find love to give this new child, when all of my mother love was going to my first-born – my daughter Cand.

Mums and Babies

Then Al was born and God opened up my heart to give lots of love to this new baby. It was amazing how differently I felt about this kid – this son of mine. There isn’t anything that you wouldn’t do for your son and that’s pretty cool while he’s a baby or a young boy. He’s so lovable, and the thing about boys is that they graciously allow you to take care of them. As his mom, you’re his first love and he’s pretty possessive about. It doesn’t matter whether you are married to the love of your life, or you’re a single mom, those boys really attach themselves to your heartstrings and hold on. Usually that possessive love only lasts while they are young boys. However, we’ve gotten used to the attention. So we try to everything we can to preserve that feeling of love by giving our sons, our time, money, support – everything!

The problem occurs when you’re still doing everything for him into his adult years. You’ve taken care of him throughout his teen years, his college years (or working years), and haven’t required him to take care of himself. He’s your #PamperedPrince, lock, stock & barrel! Not only are you taking care of him well into his adult years. You don’t celebrate the women that he’s brought for you to meet and approve of. You find fault with each one of them – they’re not good enough for your son. 

What makes us (as moms) hold onto our sons so tightly? I can think of three reasons:

  1. We are afraid our sons won’t love us if we stop taking care of them
  2. No one else will love us like our sons
  3. Our sons won’t do the right thing without our constant guidance

Here’s the truth – none of those statements are true! If you’ve been consistent in your love, discipline and guidance for your son, he will be okay. If you’re a single mom, make sure to give him positive, trustworthy male role models. He may do things just like you want or he might do things you would prefer he didn’t do, but trust the process. Let him go. Allow him to grow up and become the man you always knew he would be! He’ll make you proud.

Interested in learning more about your mother-son dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

September 29, 2017 at 1:10 pm Leave a comment

How Well Are You Managing Your ADULT Pampered Prince?

I keep running into women who tell me these incredible stories about how their moms (and dads) are still taking care of their brothers. Mind you we aren’t talking about teen or college-aged sons, but sons in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and 50’s. Depending on the situation, taking care of your adult son, means you are paying his rent, car note, buying groceries, washing his laundry or he’s still living with you.

Portrait of a mother and her young adult/late teen son.

While there are cultures where the children stay home until they marry, the son or daughter is either in school or working. These are not the families I’m talking about. I’m referring to those households where no matter what the son has done, mom defends him. I experienced this while teaching at an all-male high school. If my student had cheated on a test or plagiarized a paper, his mom wanted to know what was I doing to cause her son to cheat or plagiarize. Crazy!

I’ve also been guilty of zealously taking my son’s side when I thought his father or stepdad was being too harsh with him. But here’s the thing I’ve learned: the more you defend your son to his father, stepdad, teacher, or whomever – the more your son feels that he can do whatever he wants without consequences. You see it in toddler boys. Often his behavior is considered cute even when he says “shut-up” or hits you back. It’s a different story when he tells you to shut up and he’s six or 16. Then it’s not cute. Hold him accountable when he’s a teen and doesn’t want to stay in school. It’s not okay to let him quit just because he can’t get along with his teacher or coach.

As a divorced mom, I thought I was raising my son properly. At the time, it was hard hearing any criticism of him. Not that I thought he was perfect, more that I felt it reflected badly on my parenting skills. In my The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son book, I talk about how teaching at the all-male high school made me a better parent. I required my students to follow my class rules, complete their assignments on time and be respectful. When they didn’t, I had consequences for them. As I thought about it, I realized those same rules applied to my own son – my pampered prince. It was a great AHA moment for me! 

Today as I watch the news and hear from mothers who vigorously defend their son’s behavior, I think about the importance of holding those sons accountable at an early age. Saying “shut up” at two and three years old isn’t cute, it’s disrespectful. If you allow that behavior to continue, you’re creating a monster. Just like you teach your son to read, write and count. Teach him to be accountable for what he does, and to be respectful of others – those who look like him and those who don’t. If life brings him back home to live with you (as an adult), remember he is an adult and can take care of himself. Washing his clothes and cooking meals for him is not going to encourage him to move out of your house, or make him good material for marriage!

#StaySane

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to pick up a copy of this book. 

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

August 31, 2017 at 3:06 pm Leave a comment

5 Tips to Managing Your Time

Have you ever said I’ll do that later, only to find that there were at least 3 more things waiting for you to complete…later? For the next 2 ½ minutes, read this carefully and take notes. I am giving you five free tips for mastering your time management. Truly these tips will transform your chaotic day into a calm experience. For years, I had an issue with time. It’s not that I couldn’t arrive on time; it’s making sure that what I was leaving had been completed. For example, I hate leaving the house with tasks undone like cleaning up the kitchen, putting a load of clothes in the wash or finishing one of my tasks as an entrepreneur.

Here’s the secret. I suffered from that syndrome that many working mothers experience in their everyday lives. Perfectionism! I don’t know about you, but I was taught that having a clean, orderly house was my responsibility. Nobody told me to go out and be successful, and by the way, don’t worry about your house. It’ll take care of itself! I also was not taught how to manage household activities as a successful entrepreneur.  I did learn it and offer it as one of the lessons in my Kick the Chaos coaching program.

Managing your time is a skill that you want to develop into a habit. Being successful in business may mean you won’t have a clean house. Look at your guy friends or your spouse. When they have appointments or meetings, they are out the door. I know this is true for my husband. It doesn’t matter what’s not operating perfectly (or imperfectly in our home), he practices good time management. ALWAYS!

Clearly in business, timeliness is next to godliness and having a reputation that you can’t make it to meetings or events on time can discredit your credibility. If you have children at home, getting them out of the house (on time) can also impact your schedule. You’re ready for success, aren’t you?

Try these simple tips:

  • Set your intention to manage your time today.

 Decide today that you are going to manage your time. I learned a long time ago that thoughts are things and if you want to attract specific      things into your life, you have to change your thoughts. (It works!)

  • Do it now or set a reasonable date for later.

Don’t obsess over what needs to be done. Decide what your most urgent tasks are and do them. If time does not permit this, schedule the tasks on your calendar.

  • Make a list of what you want to complete.

I am a big proponent of creating lists, because my dominant learning style is visual and seeing a picture of my daily to dos, keeps it fresh on my mind. Depending on how urgent they are or how many I have, I schedule them in my phone.

  • Give yourself time to be on time.

I learned this habit before my kids were born. Take your shower and put on your make-up when you first get up in the morning. For health enthusiasts and meditation gurus like me, pray and work out, then take your shower and put on your make-up. I find that giving myself time to be on time, means I have to work smartly.

  • Stop Rushing!

Successful entrepreneurs and business women give themselves time to get to their places of business or meetings. Speeding down the highway and honking your horn before the light turns green is not going to help you make that meeting in a timely fashion. Giving yourself 15 extra minutes allows for unexpected delays.

Become a master by practicing these five time management tips daily. You are on your way to a transformed life.

Imagine what it’s like have great time management and work-life balance!

If you are struggling to make this happen, click Here and schedule a complimentary discovery session with me. Want to be a part of something big? Click Here to join my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, creator of Finding Superwoman™

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
www.clynnwilliams.com

June 17, 2017 at 5:18 pm Leave a comment

How Are You Managing Your Finances?

April is Financial Literacy Month, and I asked a financially smart friend of mine – Syndie Schmeltzer to share her ideas of how to be savvy when it comes to our finances. Basically kick the chaos from financial mismanagement and increase your wealth!

It’s Financial Literacy Month! 

As women we usually end up being the ones in charge of the money that comes into the household. So ask yourself: How can we truly provide what’s best for our family if we don’t fully understand how money works.

Let this be the year you take control of your finances…

– Wouldn’t you like to find the money you didn’t know you had?
– How about knowing how to have your money work just as hard as you do?
– What about paying for college?
– Wouldn’t you finally like to understand if you have enough protection for your family?
These are just a few of the topics that will be taught during our “Money Smart Week”.

Here’s a tip you can start using today.

Do you know the Rule of 72? This simple but little known formula is a great way to estimate how long it will take your money to double.
Here’s how it works: Take the number 72 and divide it by the rate of interest you hope to earn. 

That’s it!

The number you get will tell you approximately how many years it will take for your money to double.

For example, say you had $50 in an account at a 2% interest rate. Using the Rule of 72:

72 ÷ 2 = 36

That means it would take approximately 36 years for your $50 to grow to $100. (This formula really shows the value of a higher interest rate, doesn’t it?)

When you know how money works, you know that time can either work for you or against you. So start leveraging the rule of 72 today! Ask me about being Money Smart.

For more information, contact me by email or phone:
Syndie.schmeltzer@oakbrookfinancialcenter.com 630-842-9357

Thank you Syndie for your excellent financial tips!

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

http://www.clynnwilliams.com

April 8, 2017 at 9:25 am Leave a comment

3 Habits for Healthy Families

happy-thanksgiving

During this Thanksgiving holiday, we will share many things with our families: holiday traditions, good-night hugs and good times. I truly love family customs and traditions, hugs (not just at night) and the good times we share as our family gathers together.

In addition to these things, check your ‘list’ to see if you are including these healthy habits as well. I’m including three of my favorite ones here:

  • Make mealtime family time – This matters because shared meals help families catch up and connect. Studies show that kids who regularly eat with their families have healthier eating habits than those who don’t.
  • Volunteer together – This is important because helping others lifts our spirits and improves our overall sense of well-being. It also teaches our children that they can make a difference, which can help boost their self-confidence and make them feel good about themselves.
  • Handle anger in a healthy way – When we lash out it strains relationships within and outside our family. “Kids tend to express anger by lashing out at parents and teachers, and their anger may isolate them from their peers.”[1] In adults, angry outbursts can raise the risks of heart attack and stroke.

           Thank you Rush University Medical Center for these healthy tips for our families!

As you welcome your college students back home and see family members you haven’t seen in a while, take time to relax and enjoy them. Even Aunt Josephine who manages to say something completely crazy to everyone she sees, still needs a hug. 

Time Saving Tip: Sparkl Now – The Car Wash Service That Comes to You!

Are you tired of riding around in a dirty, cheerio-ridden car?

I was just like you!  As a mom of busy and messy boys, I found myself living most of my day in the car—shuttling to/from school, practices and play dates.  My kids often had to eat meals in the car in order to get to where we needed to be on time.

This is what inspired me to launch Sparkl – an eco-friendly, waterless car wash that comes to YOU.  All you have to do is download our app, register, and schedule a date and time.  We do the rest.   Our products are bio-degradable and our waterless solution is safe enough to use on any car.  All of our washers are background checked and trained to provide a quality car wash anytime anywhere.  We will come to your home, office, parking garage, or just the street.  It’s that simple…and convenient.  No more dirty car… and no more waiting in line at the car wash!  Now your car can get cleaned without wasting your precious time…or our environment’s precious resources. To learn more about Sparkl, please check out our website:  www.sparklnow.com.

C. Lynn Williams’ Upcoming Events:

Dating With The Right Tools webinar Dec 6thPart 2 of Romance Series
Kick the Chaos workshop Dec 9thkickthechaos.eventbrite.com

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons or Fathers and Daughters.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Coach & Author
www.clynnwilliams.com

[1] Adrienne Adams, MD, MS – Rush University Medical Center

November 23, 2016 at 1:25 pm Leave a comment

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