My Mom’s Son Prince Tony 👑
My kid brother and I were 5 years and 8 days apart. I considered him my twin because we thought the same way and marched to a different drumbeat than the rest of the family.
Don’t misunderstand me. We were not the people in charge, our parents were. However, I believed rules were simply guidelines (broken when necessary), and my brother followed me.
Then life changed. When I started attending high school, it was not in the community where I grew up, but an hour away. Being five years younger, my brother had other interests. I liked boys and music; he liked Hot Wheels™️ and building items out of clay. 🤷🏽♀️ And as he reached puberty, his room SMELLED.👃
What was crazy around that same time, was how the house rules worked differently for my brother. My sister and I were expected to keep our room clean. There were no clothes under the bed, or on the floor of the closet. When it came to my brother’s room, Mom just told him to close the door. 🚪
As a high schooler, I was busy with schoolwork, choir and a new set of friends, so I didn’t really focus on the subtle changes that were taking place at home between my mother and brother.
During my junior year, my mom and dad divorced and the effect of my dad’s exit on our family was profound, especially on my brother.
He started losing his way, getting into trouble at school and in the neighborhood. My mother decided that my brother’s friend was a bad influence on him and moved he and my sister to a different community.
From my perspective, my mother accommodated my brother too much. He could come and go without much discussion; certainly more leeway than I had as a teen. By the time I was in college, my brother and I lost touch with each other. He attempted suicide several times and discovered he had a rare illness – Crohn’s.
In retrospect, if I had a child who attempted suicide and lived or suffered with a chronic illness, I’m sure I would adjust my parenting style to be as accommodating as possible.
When I say my brother was my mom’s prince, I mean she pampered him. She treated him differently than she did my sister and I. Being a prince 🤴🏽 gives the impression of privilege. It could also mean that you don’t understand the person that you’re dealing with, and you give them “space” to grow (while you watch). However, given the trauma that my brother experienced, maybe he earned the prince title fair and square.
Having my own sons and daughters, I’ve learned that little boys love to please their moms. It’s a euphoric feeling that lasts until puberty. 😃 Maybe.
Once our sons become pubescent teens, they have other interests. They don’t say “I love you” as much, if at all.
For mothers who have felt that love, it’s addictive like a drug, and many of us will do whatever necessary to keep our sons “love”. I wrote about the mother-son relationship in my book – The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son 10 years ago and have recently written a script to turn the book into a modern drama.
Pledge your support and help me finance a sizzle reel that can be shown at next year’s film festivals and to motivated film producers. 🔜 http://bit.ly/Princemovie
Click Here to join my Pampered Prince movie project and thanks for your pledge.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author, Speaker & Filmmaker
Navigating the Emotional Terrain: Dealing with Homesick College Students
Homesickness is an emotion that transcends age and experience, but when it strikes college students, it can be particularly overwhelming. I experienced homesickness during my freshman year of college, and was miserable until 3 things happened.
The transition from the comfort of home to the independence of college life can trigger a wave of nostalgia and longing for familiar surroundings, family, and friends. In this blog, we’ll explore the common causes of homesickness in college students and provide practical tips to help them navigate this emotional journey.
Understanding the Causes
1. **Change in Environment:** The shift from living with family to dormitories or shared apartments can be jarring. Students suddenly find themselves in an entirely new environment, often far from home.
2. **Separation from Support Systems:** Leaving behind the support of family and close friends can create a void that feels hard to fill. The absence of familiar faces can intensify feelings of homesickness.
3. **Academic Pressure:** The demands of college can be mentally taxing. When coupled with homesickness, academic stress can feel even more burdensome.
4. **Social Adjustment:** Building new social circles takes time, and not everyone finds their tribe right away. Loneliness can exacerbate homesickness.
Tips for Coping with Homesickness
1. **Stay Connected:** Technology allows students to stay in touch with loved ones more easily than ever. Regular calls, video chats, or even surprise visits can help ease homesickness.
2. **Create a Home Away from Home:** Personalize your dorm room or living space with mementos from home. Familiar objects can provide comfort.
3. **Get Involved:** Join clubs, sports teams, or campus organizations to meet new people and create a sense of belonging.
4. **Establish Routines:** Structure your day with a consistent schedule. Having a routine can provide stability and reduce anxiety.
5. **Seek Support:** Most colleges offer counseling services. Don’t hesitate to reach out if homesickness is affecting your mental health.
6. **Explore Your New Environment:** Embrace the adventure of exploring your new surroundings. Finding hidden gems in your college town can be exciting and distracting.
7. **Practice Self-Compassion:** Understand that homesickness is a common emotion. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge your feelings without judgment.
8. **Set Realistic Expectations:** College life isn’t perfect, and it’s normal to have ups and downs. Recognize that homesickness is a temporary phase.
Conclusion
Homesickness is a natural part of the college experience. It’s a testament to the love and connections students have back home. By acknowledging these feelings and implementing coping strategies, students can not only survive but also thrive during their college years.
Remember, homesickness is just one chapter in the larger story of your academic journey, and it’s filled with countless opportunities for growth, learning, and new adventures.
By the way, the 3 things that helped me handle homesickness:
1. Time
2. A subscription to Daily Word (from my mom)
3. Making new friends
Click Here to join my Pampered Prince movie project and pledge your support.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author, Speaker & Filmmaker
Dinner Time is a Great Time to Talk
Now that the school year has started, I think about the conversations that my family and I had. We didn’t have them every night, but considering how strict my parents were, our dinner time talks were pretty liberal.
They didn’t always include both parents, and the “talks” continued once my parents divorced. Usually my mother, would start the “conversation” for whatever topic my brother, sister and I, wanted to talk about. Usually it was a cross-section of just about anything from politics to what time curfew should be; most important, there were no taboo topics.
The beauty about the talks is that everybody extroverts and introverts (my brother and me) felt comfortable talking. By the way, if you have kids who don’t like to talk a lot, then you say things that are funny or related but slightly crazy, and see what your family thinks. Hopefully everybody starts laughing and all of a sudden the dinner time talking has started.
I think what I like most about conversations during meals, is that you have the distraction of eating and the conversations don’t seem as serious.
Depending on your parenting style, these conversations are a great time to learn more about your children and for them to learn about you as well, and to help you pick up on things that you will want to follow up on privately with whichever kid needs it, as well as sharing your views and family values.
There are lots of benefits to dinner time talk. At the very least, it helps you stay connected (with your kids), if you allow the conversations to flow easily. The more obvious reason is hopefully your child will more easily share concerns or issues with you, that are not easy to talk about. 🙇🏽♀️
If the best time to have a conversation with your your kids, is at breakfast, then talk at breakfast. 🥞☕️
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
10 Resources to Guide You Through Every Stage of Your Child’s Life
Gwen Payne, guest blogger
Parenting takes you on a long and winding journey, and some days will leave you with more questions than answers. By working with a parenting guru like C. Lynn Williams, you can get personalized advice on developing a healthy parenting style. Plus, these resources cover numerous parenting topics that are relevant to every stage of your child’s life, from babyproofing your property to keeping your family physically active.
Avoiding a Surprise Pregnancy
Preventing a surprise pregnancy requires proactive measures and informed decisions. Here are essential strategies to help you effectively avoid unexpected pregnancies and maintain control over your reproductive health.
- Utilize reliable birth control methods, such as condoms, hormonal pills, patches, or intrauterine devices (IUDs), to prevent unplanned pregnancies.
- Have open and honest discussions with your partner about family planning and contraception choices to ensure you are both on the same page.
- Stay informed about reproductive health and the effectiveness of different birth control methods, and consult with a healthcare professional to find the most suitable option.
- Be aware of emergency contraception options, such as the morning-after pill, to use in case of contraceptive failure or unprotected intercourse.
- Consider using a combination of birth control methods, such as condoms along with another contraceptive, to further reduce the risk of unexpected pregnancies.
Adjusting to Life With a Newborn
Each day with a newborn will bring something new and unexpected – but these tips will help you deal with all of these changes.
- With time, you’ll be able to establish a routine that suits you and your baby.
- By turning to your support system for help, you can create time for self-care.
- Before your baby arrives, block off time to baby-proof your home and choose safe items for your household.
Helping Your Toddler Navigate the World
Your toddler is learning to process big emotions and discover who they are. You can better support them by referencing these resources.
- Your child is old enough to start practicing basic manners for social situations.
- Encourage your child when it comes to making friends!
- Work with your child on mastering simple life skills, like cleaning up, getting dressed, and doing household chores.
Guiding Your Child in Elementary School
Once your child has entered elementary school, it’s your job to help them become who they truly are.
- If your child is struggling with their grades, you can assist them in improving their academic performance.
- Help your child pick one or two extracurricular activities they might like.
- Consider relocating to a walkable neighborhood to promote lifelong fitness.
- Connecting with a parenting coach can help you find work-life balance.
If you’re a new parent, you know that you’re starting an unpredictable new chapter of your life. But by turning to trusted sources for advice, you can feel confident in your parenting decisions. With these tips, you’ll be prepared to choose safe products for your family, make sure that your kids get plenty of exercise, and more!
Are you looking for parenting guidance? Turn to C. Lynn Williams! Schedule a free virtual chat through our website today to talk about all things parenting.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
How to Stay Connected to Aging Family Members
Last year we celebrated my aunt’s 90th birthday. It was quite a celebration because she’s the last of my mom’s sisters, and no one in our family has lived to 90 years of age.
She’s one of my sheroes, because she always spoke her mind, (still does) and she went for what she wanted. She’s like a parent to me, since both of my parents are deceased.
My dilemma is that Aunt Mae lives 3000 miles away, hates technology, and suffers with dementia. Since she enjoyed cards and letters, I would send a letter or greeting card periodically to let her know I was thinking about her. I’m not sure that she is receiving or opening her mail these days.
I realized that staying connected with ”Auntie” would require more than a biweekly call or occasional family Zoom moment. She forgets that you’ve called her, and I want to stay present in her life until she’s no longer with us.
I researched information on caring for and staying connected to aging parents and other relatives. Below are tips from Commonwisecare.com
7 Tips for Taking Care of an Elderly Parent
Over time, our parents’ health and daily needs change, which can be challenging for both you and them. Whether you’re a full-time family caregiver or supporting your parent from a distance, follow these tips on how to take care of an elderly parent.
- Stay Connected: Regular communication with your parents is essential to staying connected and aware of their needs. Whether it’s a daily phone call, video chat, or weekly visit, staying in touch can help you stay on top of their health and well-being.
- Make Their Home Safe: Aging parents are at a higher risk of falls and other accidents in the home. To ensure their safety, you may need to make some modifications to their living space. This may include installing grab bars, removing tripping hazards, and ensuring adequate lighting.
- Help With Daily Tasks: Your parents may need help with activities of daily living (ADLs), such as shopping, cleaning, cooking, and personal care (e.g., bathing). Offering assistance with these tasks can make a big difference in their quality of life.
- Monitor Their Health: Keep an eye on your parents’ health by accompanying them to doctor appointments, keeping track of their medications, and managing any chronic health conditions they may have.
- Keep Them Active: Staying physically active can help your parents maintain their mobility and independence. Encourage them to participate in social activities, exercise programs, or hobbies they enjoy, all of which can improve their overall health.
- Plan for the Future: As your parents age, it’s essential to have a long-term plan in place for their care. Discuss their wishes for future healthcare and end-of-life care, and make sure they have the necessary legal documents, such as a living will and power of attorney.
- Make Time for Self-Care: Taking care of an elderly parent can be emotionally and physically draining. It’s important for you to take time away to engage in self-care activities, such as exercise, reading, or spending time with friends. [1]
Since we know my aunt will answer her phone (most days), my sister and I are using Google Meet to see her (and have her see us) while we are talking with her. Sometimes we connect perfectly, meaning we can hear and see each other. Other times she doesn’t answer, and we know, we will try again later.
Share ways are you staying connected to your aging parents, grandparents, and other relatives?
Want to learn more about how to get along with your family members? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Social Media Posts
[1] https://www.commonwisecare.com/how-to-find-help-for-elderly-parent/
How to Motivate Our Kids
Did you ever take music lessons or practice a sport to become the best? It’s called deliberate practice and there are important life skills that children learn when they practice becoming better at something. One lesson that comes up for me is resilience. My daughter wanted to take dance lessons, and once she started attending the class, she decided she didn’t like it and wanted to quit. That happens often with children. They will like something because their friends like it. The challenge is getting them to stick it out until a natural ending like a concert or the season ends. Requiring them to finish at a natural ending point, teaches them tolerance.
You see it a lot in some cultures where practice is relentless, but the outcomes are amazing. I think about the Olympics and Russians gymnasts. They excel because of their over-the-top work ethic. I also think about Chinese students and music. Practice makes their performances better!
This deliberate practice requires us (as parents) to perform our show and tell. It’s one thing to tell your child to go and practice their clarinet. It’s quite a different feeling when you share with them that on your job or in your business, you have goals to attain and the better that you are at setting those goals, the better you are at mastering them and achieving them or smashing them!
We have an opportunity as parents, to build excellence no matter what your economic or social standing. When your kids are with you, get them to do more of what they like and practice it until it is amazing. You notice I’m not saying perfect because perfect means there’s no room to grow and be better and there’s always room to grow and be better. I’m also suggesting that you allow them to do something that they like, as opposed to what you like for them. It’s less of a struggle…
By the way, this is not just a skill for musically and sports inclined children. For the kids who love academics; who love reading; who love writing; who love tech; help them find tune that skill and motivate them to become outliers.
An outlier is a person that stands out from all other members of a particular group or set. They stand out! That’s a positive thing. Our children are born with gifts that require motivation, nurturing and fine-tuning to stand out. As parents, this is what we can offer our children:
- A safe home environment
- Food to eat
- Love
- Encouragement
- Structure
- Hope
Sometimes the gifts that live inside of our child, are quite different from ours or anyone within our family. It doesn’t make the gift wrong or strange… just different.
So practice motivating your child and that gift of theirs, while they are on summer break. If you haven’t already seen their brilliance peek out, keep watching.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
The Fourth Trimester: Self-Care & Bonding Time for Moms
Many new moms are surprised to learn about the fourth trimester – the period immediately after the baby is born.
Fathers Need A Village Too
As a young girl, my dad was present in my life. Daily. He brought levity to my life because he told corny jokes and made us laugh. 🃏😁
Neither of my parents talked a lot, but my dad said the least. Which meant when he spoke, his words carried a lot of weight.
He had a group of men he communicated with often – his village. His brother, Gerald (OG Jr), his father, OG Sr, uncles, and his two buddies – Clarence and Ike.
I loved my father and the male perspective he brought to my life. While mom was straight forward and no nonsense, dad was more reflective and gentler. Sort of… He could be brutally frank as well. 😩
During my teen years, my parents divorced and we saw less of my dad.
Years later, I talked with him about his absences. He said “he didn’t have anything to give us financially”. It took my college years for me to realize that my dad was human and had faults. While he had a village, talking easily was not part of his culture, nor was asking for help.
Of course once I became an adult, he was an open book . 🤷🏽♀️
Being a parent is hard and exhausting while amazing at the same time.
While my father was a major influence in my life, so was my grandfather, uncles, and later, father-in-laws, coaches and mentors.
Thank you to the men who have raised or are raising or helping raise children. 🖤🤎🤍 Thank you for being kind and generous in your praise and limiting your criticism.
FATHER’S DAY PRAYER
God, bless all the fathers in the world. Guide them to be good role models and loving to all their children.
Help them to be a father like You are. Give them grace and patience to handle situations in a loving way. Amen!
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
What Are the Rules?
I’m old enough to remember that rules were made for a reason and people followed them.
Sometimes we broke the rules by disobeying our parents, but not often because there were consequences.
We didn’t do things like throw paper or bags of food on the ground. We didn’t see our parents do it and there were fines if you got caught littering. Plus our parents or someone else gave us a hard time if we disobeyed “the rules”.
I think about how annoying some rules are and what their purpose is.
I love my freedom. So following the rules isn’t always easy for me. But I understand how important they are if I want to live harmoniously with people in my community and in my family.
Freedoms across the world are important too! So I stand in solidarity with my brothers and sisters, when we celebrate events like May Day, Cinco de Mayo and Juneteenth. I watch events in my community and around the world as rebellions reflect how unhappy people are with rules! Yet, without basic rules of conduct, civility and how we live, there is only chaos, not freedom.
I think about the importance of moms in our life. Mothers teach us and help us follow rules and they create customs that follow us for the rest of our lives.
It’s important for parents to share their values with their children, so they understand how they fit into the world and how to live harmoniously with others. The world is a better place when we respect each other and follow basic rules. Our kids are watching us.
By the way, it bugs me when people drive through the red light, don’t stop at stop signs, or beep at pedestrians because they are taking too long to cross the street. 😡
Let’s remember to live harmoniously and that we are all related as humans.
Smile at someone today.
Be courteous.
Let someone merge in front of you when you’re driving. Be a positive role model to your child. That’s my prayer for the month of May.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & parent coach
OtoZen App Review: The Ultimate Driver Safety Companion
Image by Lopolo on Shutterstock
When it comes to driving, it’s always best to be careful and drive defensively. I want my friends and family to feel safe when I’m behind the wheel, and I want them to stay safe when they’re driving, too.
But how can I be sure that my loved ones are driving safely? Especially with teens, as they are more sensitive about sharing their activities and whereabouts with parents.
One of the most effective ways to ensure your loved ones are safe on the road is to use a driver safety app. These apps can help you maintain situational awareness and control at all times. This is why my family and I use one.
After trying a few others, OtoZen is my app of choice because of how easy it is to coordinate with multiple drivers on one platform. It helps me and my family stay safe on the road with its warning systems, real-time GPS, and Live Location features.
Why Is OtoZen the App of Choice for Driver Safety?
OtoZen has several features that encourage and help drivers stay safe on the roads. It offers everything from speeding and car use alerts to driving and family safety features that can help new and teenage drivers in your family.
1. Speeding Alerts
OtoZen monitors the vehicle’s speed, alerting drivers when they exceed the speed limit in a particular area. This can help new and experienced drivers know the limit for each road, avoid costly speeding tickets, and stay aware of how fast they are driving.
2. Live Location Sharing
This feature allows drivers to share their location with family and friends. OtoZen also gives drivers the option to send their expected time of arrival (ETA), so their family and friends will know when to expect them. This can also ease parents’ minds, knowing when their teens arrive at their destination.
Live Location sharing lets users control who can see their movements on the road, providing privacy, safety, and security through one app.
3. Safe Driving Score
One of the best ways to become a better driver is through feedback. OtoZen provides Drive Scores for each trip that identify unsafe driving behavior like speeding and phone usage.
Monitoring phone usage brings attention to distracted driving, helping drivers stay focused and avoid distractions while operating a vehicle. The Drive Scores are an excellent way to improve driving habits and observe safe driving guidelines while traveling. This feature can also help teens build accountability.
4. Helps Your Family Members Pass Driving Tests
OtoZen is an excellent tool that can prepare teens for their driving tests. The app can log and share driving records with driving instructors at the local Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV).
Driver training schools can also use OtoZen to assess their students’ performance. They can quickly review which areas need improvement through the automatically generated driving log.
5. Accident Detection and Roadside Assistance
The app detects accidents and sends a 911 dispatch automatically. Whether minor or severe, OtoZen has 24/7 support services from certified dispatchers who notify emergency responders immediately in the event of a crash.
The dispatchers use the app’s Live Location feature to inform authorities of the vehicle’s exact location so they can send the nearest responders to the area.
6. Hands-free Driver Safety
The app lets drivers receive and send messages through their vehicle’s speakers, minimizing distractions. The hands-free feature also sends audio reminders for nearby errands and appointments and automatically notifies friends and family of trip progress and arrival times.
Is the App Worth It?
OtoZen can fulfill many needs and concerns regarding driver safety.
Stay Connected
If you have a teen learning to drive or simply want to stay connected with friends and family, OtoZen is a great choice. You can monitor loved ones’ locations and know when they need your help. While your teen is old enough to do many things, that does not take away from ensuring their safety.
Improve Driving
Student drivers can use the Driver Scores feature to see how well they are doing. You can work with your teens and help them improve their skills, especially with an automatically generated report they can show to driving schools and the DMV.
Save Lives
The accident and roadside assistance features can save lives. Anyone is susceptible to accidents, especially teens who are learning to drive. You can quickly gain peace of mind with this app, as it automatically notifies you and emergency responders when an accident occurs and provides an exact location.
Helpful Modes
It also uses different modes to observe a driver’s movements: driver and viewer.
Viewer mode allows you to observe the vehicle’s movements, including the ETA, stops, and Driver Scores. Plus, you can view other vehicles that have shared their location with you and see their movement on the app under Live Location.
In Driver mode, you can enable Live Location, input the location of your home, and set up hands-free notifications and reminders when you are on the road. You can also set up speeding alerts to get notified when you pass the speed limit, which is especially helpful when you are unfamiliar with a location’s speed limits.
OtoZen: Best for Families
Using an app like OtoZen can help parents like me track the movement of loved ones. It allows me to monitor their whereabouts without being too intrusive and controlling.
You can give your teens the freedom they want while teaching responsibility with an app that automatically informs you where they are and their current situation. Parents don’t have to needlessly worry when their teens aren’t home yet. OtoZen tells me where they are, provides their ETA, and even shows me their speed.
Make Driver Safety Part of Your Family With OtoZen
Driver safety is a lesson every family needs to learn. Downloading OtoZen as a driver safety and assistance app can go a long way in protecting your teens on the road.
If you want to monitor your teens and ensure they’re driving safely, OtoZen is an excellent choice.
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
Blogpost Comments