Posts tagged ‘daughters’
Desperate for Love…
Some of us marry to close that gaping hole. Others of us have sex early in our lives; maybe we have children (earlier than we are ready) that we hope will love us and fill that void. 
What we find is that NOTHING fills that void like a relationship with God. But as little girls, before we know God, we know our parents. As I watch programs like Being Mary Jane… or any reality show that deals with society’s view of relationships, I want you to know is that, the very first love that a young girl knows is with her father. She determines that by how much he provides emotional support and is present in her life. The second but equally important relationship is her relationship with her mother. Here she learns what is acceptable and what isn’t. Programs like Empire or Scandal may be entertaining, but the situations are fake. We have to teach our daughters that those are actors, who are paid to act a certain way. Teach them not to idolize the lifestyle shown in these programs; this is not real life.
If we want daughters that grow up without gaping holes, we must tell them w
e love them. We must show them we love them by making time for them and being patient as they grow and mature. We have to use words that heal instead of those that tear down. She is not a little b*&^%! If we want them to respect themselves, we (women) have to upgrade our standards for ourselves by walking away from dysfunctional relationships. Not every man is the one for you. If he is married, leave him alone. Take time to take care of you. Let’s focus on taking care of our bodies, mind and spirit too.
Let’s move away from desperate, damaged and defeated to caring, courageous, and CONFIDENT!
Interested in learning more about parenting, self-care & self-love? Contact Ms. Parent Guru (by email) to register for her parent mentoring program for Mothers and Daughters. Email her at: info@clynnwilliams.com
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Generational Development Strategist
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)
3 Things You Want to Know…
(Reblogged from The Parenting Skill Daily)
Parenting Tips: My Teen Lost His Phone, What Do I Do?
By Olfa Turki
Looking for parenting tips on how to handle it when your teen loses his phone? Read my story to see how I handled it! My teen is in high school and commutes for one hour a day. To keep my sanity, my husband and I provided him with a cellphone for emergency calls. It was a long debate at our home, whether we can trust a 12 year old with a cellphone. But since I am a helicopter mom and since he is commuting for a long time, I wanted to feel safe and be able to reach him during his commute. I wanted him to be able to reach me in case something happens: a bus missed, a metro not working.
Substance Abuse – Does It Run In Families
By Eric Metcalf, MPH
@EricMetcalfMPH
Want to know if you’re likely to develop a health problem? Looking at your family history can often help you measure your level of risk.
For example, if a close family member has had type 2 diabetes, certain forms of cancer, or heart disease, you may also have a greater chance of developing the condition, too. The same is true for alcoholism and drug addiction. If a close family member has had a substance abuse problem, your risk is also higher.
Some of the extra risk that runs in families comes from the genes that one generation passes down to another. But other elements within your family can influence if you develop a problem with drugs or alcohol. For example, drinking too much or using drugs may have seemed normal to you from an early age because you saw family members do it.
What Kids Need to Know About EBOLA (Video)
Shared by Ann Morgan James
If you want to read more #parenting tips, follow My Blog and sign up for my Parenting Newsletter. Want to ask questions or dialogue with me about how tough adult issues affect our families; reach out to me on Twitter @cgwwbook or Like my Facebook fan page www.Facebook.com/CGWWBooks. #ParentTips
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Generational Development Specialist
www.clynnwilliams.com
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)
P.S. Hey… I have a new book coming out soon about #BlendedFamilies. Get in touch w/me if you want to be one of the first to read a short excerpt…
Having Babies is For Grown Women©
I am so mad! “Who are you mad at” I ask myself. I am mad at them AND us! I am mad at all of the young girls who fell for the okeydoke that boys in heat tell them to satisfy their sexual curiosities. I’m mad when the girl’s best friend or mother suggests that they get an abortion and they say “No I plan to take care of this baby by myself.” But they have no idea how. I’m mad at the mothers who don’t talk to their daughters honestly and far enough in advance (age 8) about how our bodies will betray us by thoroughly enjoying that one time of thoroughly enjoyable sex and becoming pregnant. Tell your girls it only takes one time and the next thing you know you have another human being that you are responsible for. For mothers who had babies as teens, and refuse to talk openly with their daughters so that they don’t repeat that cycle of babies having babies, shame on you! Please tell them that taking birth control prevents pregnancy, but if they are promiscuous, they can catch genital herpes, pubic lice or syphilis just to name a few STIs. Tell them that girls are hard-wired differently than boys, and when we have sex, we fall in love. Doesn’t mean you like that boy, but you love him, you stop focusing on things that are important to you, and lose your mind over ‘that boy’.
I’m mad at those girls who are headstrong and expect their mothers and grandmothers to take care of their babies so they can grow up! You need a support system that goes beyond your mother & grandmother. It’s not easy raising kids. So babysit for your girlfriends and ask them to watch your kids too. If you have sisters, ask her to watch your child. If you want to attend college, take your baby with you and place it in the school’s day care center while you attend classes. That’s what grown women do. Will you miss the Friday and Saturday night parties? Probably so…
When I was a pre-teen, my mom & I had the ‘talk’. The gist of the talk was that I was to be respectable and not sleep around. If I couldn’t wait until marriage to have sex, I was to protect myself with birth control. Under no circumstances was I to bring home a baby and not be married to the baby’s father. Then she sent me to Teen Scene, a program initiated by the Chicago area Planned Parenthood to offer sex information and education to teens. They also handed out birth control pills, which makes people mad. Why? Because parents are the ones who are supposed to tell their daughters about sex & birth control right? Okay self- righteous people. Then I’m mad you and at church folk who refuse to remember when they were mistake-making teens and won’t share their experiences with the teens in their church.
I’m mad at men who don’t tell their sons the truth about what it means to be a father at 14 or 15; that being a father is not how many girls you’ve gotten pregnant, but how many children you are able to take care of and watch grow up. Please stop telling your son, “It’s probably not yours”. I realize that some girls have multiple sexual partners, but a word to the wise, if he slept with her, it’s a possibility it’s his! There is nothing wrong with testing for paternity, but also have him get a part-time job, so he can help his girl take care of their baby.
Sex is great, but it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. No, let me rephrase that – sex with a person you love and enjoy is great! The first time it’s probably terrible, especially if your first time is in a boys’ bathroom, in an alley, the back of a car, as a result of rape, or when you are not ready.
The stakes are high. For girls and women who had children while a teen and finished school, raised great kids, this conversation is NOT FOR YOU!
Hey Young Girls who are saving your virginity until you marry; this conversation is NOT FOR YOU! Grown folks, the mistakes of our children, are our mistakes too! Talk to those you mentor with honesty & love.
If you liked what you read, follow my blog for more articles, info and camaraderie with other people just like you & me. Reach out to me on Twitter (@cgwwbook) or Facebook (CGWWBooks)
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parent Coach
www.clynnwilliams.com
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)
If You Make Time, They Will Come..
Ever wonder why we like reality TV? Probably because the stories are so true-life; the characters get to say & do whatever (ridiculous or not) comes to their minds (or the mind of the show’s writer) and there’s always a new angle! Oh most importantly — they are addicting.
Here’s an alternative: You and your daughter take some time 30-60-90 minutes; list your top five issues with each other. Set ground rules and make it ‘safe’ to talk openly & honestly. Promise each other that you will not HOLD Grudges after your time together. For my journalers, write down your thoughts. At my recent Stop Driving Me CraZy Mother – Daughter Retreat, daughters shared that they liked the activities like Mirror-Mirror and Trust Me! Some opened up and told their moms what was on their mind. Mothers enjoyed the video and breakout sessions.
It might feel awkward or ‘fake’, but don’t worry it can breathe life into your relationship. She may act like it doesn’t matter if you both talk or not. But don’t listen to that. Secretly (inside) she is dying for a wonderful relationship with you! Your normally unresponsive, hormonal teen daughter may share things you wouldn’t have imagined. Just try not to flip out if you hear something weird.
By the way, feel free to share this blog post with others and (share) your thoughts with me. I’d love to hear them! My next mother – daughter retreat will be held in November in Chicago, IL. Interested? Email me at clynn@clynnwilliams.com
Happy Relating!
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parent Coach
www.clynnwilliams.com
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Communications, 2013)
Your message has been sent
Keep Your Hands (and Other Body Parts) to Yourself
At the risk of sounding insensitive, I admit that I have gotten desensitized to news about priests and coaches molesting boys and girls. It happens so often, it seems like daily news. I don’t like it, and it seems to take forever for the truth to come out (the kids are usually adults). Of course, nobody believes that a man of the cloth or a favorite coach is touching our kids inappropriately. Wake up America! Did it ever occur that the ‘acting out’ that our kids are doing, may be related to a secret they are ashamed to tell you?
What I still can’t stomach, is when our teen girls tell us (mothers) that they are being sexually molested by their fathers, stepfathers, uncles (family members) and we don’t listen. What is that about? As I mentor teen girls and young women, I want to say that I’m shocked that mothers prefer to believe their (in some cases) pedophile boyfriend to their own daughter. The sex can’t be that good. To make matters worse, you kick your daughter out, because you can’t possibly believe her. Now what is she supposed to do?
Remember the movie Precious? Precious’ mother knew her husband (Precious’ biological dad) was having sex with his daughter and had fathered Precious’ two children. Yuck! But it happens, probably more often than we care to admit, and it’s a dirty little family secret – especially if a child is born. If there was ever a reason for castration, sexually molesting your kid, niece, nephew or granddaughter is number one as far as this mother is concerned! What are your thoughts?
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parent Coach
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Communications, 2013)
Mother – Daughter Reflections for my Newest Book!
Consider being part of a group of women that talks about your relationship with your mom or your daughter? I’m writing the last chapter in my new mother/daughter book and would love to include your anecdote or favorite memory. I only need a paragraph. You can message it to me on my CGWW Books fan page https://www.facebook.com/?ref=tn_tnmn#!/CGWWBooks or email it to me at: cgwwbooks@yahoo.com
If you prefer, send your thoughts to me via my blog. I will only be able to take the first 50 comments, so don’t delay. Send me your comments right away!
Happy Friday, C. Lynn
I Hate My Teenage Daughter – Pt 2
Here’s the gist of the new TV show:
“I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER is a new family comedy starring Jaime Pressly and Katie Finneran as single moms, best friends – and former nerds – who fear their privileged and overly indulged daughters are turning out just like the mean girls who picked on them in high school.
ANNIE (Pressly), who was raised in an ultra-strict, über-religious household where she had little-to-no freedom, pretty much allows her daughter, SOPHIE (Kristi Lauren), to do whatever she wants. Annie’s best friend NIKKI (Finneran), once an unpopular, overweight social pariah, is now a pretty Southern belle who also allows her daughter, MACKENZIE (Aisha Dee), to do as she pleases.”
Knowing a little more about what the show is about, I don’t have a problem with the show, just a HUGE problem with the title of the show. Considering that sensationalism sells, I don’t like it, but do understand that producers are trying to bring the issue of overindulgence by parents into discussion. As a parent, overindulgence makes you a great parent for the moment, but the feeling doesn’t last, and you send your teen, mixed messages about who you are.
What do you think?
Dads Are Parents Too
I just heard a commercial explaining that fathers had rights too! In my heart I know that that’s true, but I remembered how absent my father was when he and my mom first divorced. How empty I felt. Where was he? A friend of mine is separated from her husband and when he arranges to see his daughters, he often stays away. Fathers, you are the first love of your daughter. She learns how to treat a man by the way you treat her. Let her know you love and cherish her. Don’t fink out!
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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