Posts tagged ‘Ethnicity’

Stop Telling Me NO!

A couple of weekends ago I took a break from my duties as a teacher chaperone (weekend regional studnoent competition), and went shopping. I don’t shop often for a number of reasons, primarily it takes more time than I want and I impulse buy – not good.

This shopping excursion was a little different because Mother’s Day  was around the corner and there were lots of families shopping together. I did tell you how much I LOVE people watching? Well while people watching, I noticed several mothers and how they managed their children.

One little toddler kept walking toward the counters trying to pull the clothes toward him. His mama didn’t say “Hey Jonathan stop that!” She did something interesting. Instead she redirected him away from the counter of clothing. Being a child with a mission, he made his way back to that counter at least three more times. Each time she redirected him. #Patience

As exhausting as raising a toddler can be, I was surprised and amazed at how calmly this mom worked with her young son. It reminded me of a story a nanny told me recently. The nanny (Janie) interviewed for a job and was told that under no circumstances could she tell the couple’s children ‘No‘. She could tell them the consequences of their actions – don’t tell them NO! If she used the word No with them, she would be fired immediately! During that same shopping excursion, I watched and listened as other mothers yelled across the aisles to their kids – No! Shut up! Come here NOW! Don’t do that!  The Caucasian mom redirected her son; the African American mothers yelled. Was it cultural? My mother didn’t have to yell at us. She just looked at us and we knew to behave. Don’t remember how she treated us as toddlers.

Interesting huh? Is that a more informed way of parenting? Are the ‘No’ children calmer, more obedient or are we setting up our kids to fail?

 

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parent Coach
www.clynnwilliams.com

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Communications, 2013)

May 9, 2014 at 4:26 pm Leave a comment

Racial Differences – What We Can Do

In my last article, I talked about whether there were racial differences between my son and yours? If you believe in the circle of life,

My Son, Your Son

My Son, Your Son

you know that what goes around comes around. So right now, Black boys are being murdered at an alarming rate. However, it’s a matter of time before another ethnic group is targeted. I say, let’s band together, let’s change the laws that are unfairly targeting our youth no matter what race, ethnicity or religion and be about human unity.

I also want to know if it’s possible for African American people to begin operating (again) as a village, looking out for each other and each other’s children, supporting each other physically, financially, spiritually and combining our resources as necessary. There’s economic & political power if we operate as a group. We can share resources whether it’s with cooperative farming or loaning our gifts and skills to each other, so we will all thrive. Then it’s not life threatening to our families if Link or unemployment insurance is cut, a company downsizes and you lose your job, or the bank declines your loan for a new business. We have got to prevent outside societal issues from breaking us and damaging our families. Operating as a village means that we are empowered to speak out if we see each other’s child act inappropriately. Instead of being afraid of the young males on the block, mentor and share your skills with them. There is more to be said on this topic, but I think you understand what to do next. By the way, thanks for supporting authors like me and buying our books.

Here’s an excerpt from Chapter Ten, Reaching the Goal in Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen. “I think we can all agree that the goal is to have raised healthy, successful adult children who we can be proud of. Isn’t it? You want them to respect themselves and those around them. You pray that they are intelligent and are able to support themselves (hold a job), fight their own battles, and have a family. In short, “reaching the goal” means that they reflect to the world the best that you have given them.” Click here to purchase a copy for yourself or a friend. http://www.amazon.com/dp/0982796641    itTakesaVillage
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parenting Coach
http://www.clynnwilliams.com

Order My Books on Amazon.com:

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & Hormones! Available in summer, 2013

July 25, 2013 at 11:11 am 12 comments

Justice or Just Us

justiceAs an African American mother with two sons, the George Zimmerman verdict was really disturbing. As a matter of fact, it broke my heart. I wonder if other mothers feel the same way I do, no matter what your ethnic background? How would you feel, if the son you nurtured and raised, was shot and killed for no apparent reason? You see, as an American I truly believe in the “American dream”. Here’s the dream: get an education, get a job – a good job, start a family, teach your kids to respect themselves and other people, have a belief in something bigger than you (for me that’s God), live peaceably among my neighbors and give back to those less fortunate than you.

What this verdict says to me is that no matter how good my parenting is, no matter how educated, well-behaved, or respected my sons are, they can be gunned down and the killer (particularly if not a person of color) is guaranteed to go free. Where is the justice for my boys and other African American males here in America? How do we protect our sons? Where is the love & justice for people of all colors, not just those whose skin looks different from mine?

God asks that we love each other. Let’s eliminate the racial lines along which we are divided and draw a new world of love, peace and justice for all people collectively. #MsParentguru

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parenting Coach
http://www.clynnwilliams.com

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter: the Joys, Tears & Hormones (available in Summer, 2013)

July 15, 2013 at 11:52 pm 1 comment

End Racial Profiling – Tribute to Trayvon Martin

I have two sons; the youngest is 21 years old. As the mother of two pampered princes, the thought of harm or ill will coming to either one of them, brings tears to my eyes. I love both of my sons, as any mother does. However, recently there have been a number of senseless killings of young African American men especially in my neighborhood. It’s terrifying and sad to think that when you kiss your child in the morning you might not see him again. Ever!

I can only imagine how Trayvon Martin’s parents feel, especially in light of the fact that he was a good kid, doing the right things in life and minding his own business. The fact that someone can decide that they think that Trayvon looked like a thug (and therefore was a thug) because he is wearing a hoodie, is astounding to me. George Zimmerman what would you think of my sons?

Trayvon’s story is already inspiring millions in the call for justice and an end to racial violence. It also moved writer/activist Kevin Powell, Akila Worksongs, Jasiri X and the folks at MoveOn and ColorOfChange to record a new powerful video “A Song for Trayvon.” Please watch it and share it with your family and friends to inspire more people to join this growing movement:

http://moveon.org/SongForTrayvon?id=38007-18594760-6s2Siax&t=

All of us sharing Trayvon’s story and calling out for justice are fighting back against racism and senseless violence, so one day we no longer have to fear our child’s walk home in the darkness.

March 27, 2012 at 2:53 am 3 comments


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