Posts tagged ‘Family’

Raising Our Daughters to be Fearless

My daughter and me

As we celebrate Women’s History Month, I think back to when I found out our firstborn child would be a girl. Coming from a long line of strong women, I was excited to be a girlmom. 😆

I believe in women being bold, sassy and speaking their truths. What better way to raise a daughter who would live life from her internal perspective instead of how the world thinks she should live.

What’s crazy is that nobody expects girls to speak with confidence, especially girls of color. 🙄 As mothers, we have to encourage that confidence daily, so that our daughters are comfortable speaking up and out whether with their girlfriends, boyfriends, in the classroom or in their work environments. Living life on your own terms is important today where there are many opportunities to succeed, even when people tell you, you can’t.

Patience is key in this relationship with our daughter(s). As you help her build her “voice”, she will use it to argue and sometimes compete with you.🗣 Don’t be offended, just know that as her staunchest supporter – her mom, you are someone she trusts and loves.

Be her fence, love her unconditionally, but give her room to grow. She may make decisions that you don’t respect as she grows and matures. It’s okay. It has to be okay – it’s her life. Be there as her guide and coach.

Enjoy the journey with her, as she becomes the woman you always wanted and expected her to become. 🌸💕🌺

C. Lynn Williams, aka MsParentguru

clynnwilliams.com

March 9, 2022 at 3:29 pm Leave a comment

How to Boost Your Confidence to the Max

Image via Unsplash

When you exude confidence and you’re comfortable in your own skin, the world becomes a better place, and you attract positivity. During times of stress, your mental and physical health can take a nosedive, and it affects your outlook on everything. There are many steps you can take to get your motivation back on track so that you can look and feel your best. Guest blog by Gwen Payne from invisiblemoms.com.

Ways to Look and Feel Good

Sign up for a family photoshoot

Family photoshoots can inject a lot of fun into your life and give you an opportunity to connect with your loved ones. For the photoshoot, you can dress up and make an effort, which can help make you feel positive about your appearance. A skilled photographer will capture you and your family in the best light, making everyone look and feel good. 

Improve your nutrition

Both sugar and caffeine give you an instant boost of energy, but too much can make your body crash and become fatigued. Too many additives, sugar, and processed foods can lead to weight gain. Improving your overall nutrition with a balanced diet can help clear brain fog and give you more body confidence. 

Improve your living space

When your house is cluttered, disorganized and messy, it can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. And most likely, you never want anyone to visit. If you love to entertain, this is likely holding you back from spending time with friends and family. Fortunately, you can easily reverse this! Spend a few weekends clearing out everything, cleaning and reorganizing your space. Next, open the shades, light some scented candles and add some new decor, and your home will be primed for maximum positivity.

Set goals 

Set future goals and hold yourself accountable. When setting goals it’s important to make them challenging but achievable by breaking a big goal down into short and long-term goals. Draw up a step-by-step plan to achieve your goal, and then break it down into daily tasks. If you don’t achieve your daily or monthly goal, do better the next month. 

A good goal is to go after career and academic goals. For example, if you’ve always wanted to get your master’s degree, enroll in an online program to start. An MBA program can increase your business knowledge in areas such as strategic planning and leadership, and enhance your self-awareness and self-assessment abilities. 

Monthly pamper sessions

Don’t feel guilty about indulging in some pampering, as these can be great for detoxing, circulation, and creating a sense of calm. Whether it’s a sports massage or spa treatment, these moments can really make you feel good about yourself.

Pursue a childhood hobby

Get in touch with your child-like spirit by pursuing a hobby you enjoyed as a child. Loved roller skating? Buy a pair of skates! Enjoyed dancing and gymnastics? Sign-up for online dance classes. You don’t have to be the best at it — just do something you enjoy. 

Outdoor activities

Nature has the power to rejuvenate both mind and body. Take up an outdoor sport like running, walking, hiking, biking, or watersports, to enjoy the healing effect of nature and the rush of endorphins. Treat yourself to new gear when you take up an outdoor sport. Track your progress by investing in a fitness watch where you can download apps to map out new routes and monitor your efforts in real-time.

Take Steps to Feel Good

If you’re stuck in a rut, you’ll have to make a conscious effort to change. The most important thing is sticking to a game plan and making one small change at first.  

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parenting coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

March 2, 2022 at 2:39 pm Leave a comment

The Secret Lives of Teens on Social Media: Here’s What You Need to Know

Social media has become an integral part of our everyday lives. Parents use it, just like their children. However, on average, teenagers are the ones who spend the most time on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, TikTok and similar platforms.

This leaves many parents worried. Some are afraid that this habit will grow into an addiction, while others are concerned about cyberbullying, over-sharing, and an “all-about-attention” attitude.

Author Donna Lynn Hope asks an important question: “How different would people act if they couldn’t show off on social media? Would they still do it?”

If our children were to be born in more innocent times, without social media, would they be any different?

Consider these questions:

  • How do we know what our children are doing online?

  • Is there a way to control our child’s behavior on social media, without invading their privacy and breaking their trust?

  • How do we recognize if social media is negatively affecting our children?

This topic is complicated, and there are no simple answers. However, if you ask your child about the time they spend on social media, you might be surprised at how willing they are to talk about it.

When you speak with them about their emotions and challenges, and address potential issues in self-esteem, you may find that social media won’t pose such a threat to them.

Even so, you may still be wondering how you can safely explore your child’s secret life on social media.

These solutions will help:

  1. Dignify their devices. If you want to limit your child’s social media usage, avoid taking away their device. They will find another one. Help them find effective ways to self-regulate, instead.

    • Fear of missing out often motivates the time spent on social media.

    • However, teens are aware of the consequences this habit creates. Encourage them to reflect on these consequences and focus on the impact social media overload has on their personal, academic, and other goals.

  2. Ask about the apps. Ask your child which apps they spend the most time on. Is it Instagram, Facebook, or perhaps Snapchat? Once you find out, install those apps on your phone, too, and figure out how they work.

    • Some apps have geolocation which can pose a real danger. Try to manage your child’s social media activity by informing them of the danger rather than imposing your opinion.

    • Don’t be a manager, be a mentor.

  3. Help them to protect their privacy. Talk about privacy settings on different social media accounts. Some teens are not aware of this option.

    • Agree with them to accept only the followers and friends that they know personally. This is not an easy task for a teen because the number of followers is often the barometer of popularity.

    • However, if they understand the necessity for well-managed online presence, this shouldn’t be a problem.

  4. Talk about sexting. Parents find the infamous conversation about “The Birds and the Bees” just as awkward as children do. However, now you have another level to deal with – sexting.

    • Teens can often confuse sending explicit messages and photos for intimacy that might not exist.

    • Talk about what it means to have a healthy relationship and how to develop and maintain one.

  5. Overcome social media prejudice. Many parents believe that social media is completely, or almost completely, bad. However, it is neither good nor bad per se. It’s a new form of communication.

    • When parents talk to their children about social media from this standpoint, the child is likely to withhold and hide information.

    • Genuine curiosity and an open mind about your child’s interest in social media can make a significant difference.

  6. Care about their emotions. Teenagers want their opinions to be heard. This especially goes for the things they’re passionate or angry about. Social media offers instant feedback to their posts, which makes kids feel listened to, validated, and acknowledged.

    • However, if you offer empathy for challenges your child is facing, you can provide listening and validation inside of your family, too. This will give you an insight into what your teen posts on social media and an opportunity to help them self-filter.

When your child asks you for the first time if they can open a social media account, avoid judging them or jumping to conclusions. Accept their need to engage in such community-based way of communication, talk about it, and help them build a safe profile.

Teach them how to protect themselves and what to expect.

You’ll never have all the information about their activity, but if you’re interested and understanding, you might get just the right amount.

I help parents build the kind of communication and trust that allows parent-child relationships to grow and feel better through coaching and parent classes. Email me for more information: info@clynnwilliams.com 😘 

Thanks for reading my blog and following me on Instagram and Twitter @MsParentguru.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

November 5, 2021 at 8:00 am Leave a comment

My Teen Is Old Enough…

Being a teen is overrated. They are old enough to know what to do, but they don’t have the maturity or experience to consistently make the right decisions.

Teen male on a motorcycle

Being a teen is overrated. They are old enough to know what to do, but they don’t have the maturity or experience to consistently make the right decisions.

I was the oldest child and my mom and dad taught me the difference between right and wrong. I was responsible for “setting a good example” for my brother and sister. While I didn’t want to disappoint them, my parents also had “eyes” in the community and throughout the city; other adults who would report back if they saw me in places where they didn’t think I should be. Even so, I broke the rules… like the time I rode on my boyfriend’s motorcycle. Two broken rules:

  • No boyfriends (at my age)
  • No riding on anyone’s motorcycle

Never mind that we could have an accident and I could be hurt or killed. That never occurred to me (as a teen) because I was fearless and willing to try things. Even if it meant breaking the rules.

Parents often believe that once their child becomes a teenager, they don’t need as much supervision. That’s not true either. You don’t have to worry that your teen will fall down the stairs, like a 2- or 3-year-old. But they could accept a ride from a stranger when they need to get someplace on time. Or they may be tricked into giving out their phone number in an online chat, because the person they’re talking to says they are 15 too, like your child.

Think about the recent rash of carjackings or smash and grab crimes that are being performed by teens. Some of the kids are 12 or 13 years old. I can hear you – “Not My Child”.

How do you know?

You work every day and you’ve taught your child right from wrong. They would never steal a car, hold a person at gunpoint/knifepoint, or snatch their purse/wallet. Right?

You say, “my child is smart, comes from a two-parent family, we are not poor.” Those crimes only occur with/by… You fill-in the rest of this sentence with your thoughts or biases.

As a parent expert who has taught and studied adolescents, teens, and 20-somethings for the past 20 years, I can tell you this:

  • Teens love thrill and excitement
  • They are easily influenced by their peers and the world around them
  • Leaving them on their own for 3-4 hours every day (after school) without supervision is a problem

Join my Zoom Parent Masterclass on Thursday, October 21st where we will discuss teens: their wants, needs and love language. Admission is $25 until October 9th; $45 thereafter.

CLICK HERE to Register.

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting coaching programs that help you through Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters and Fathers and their Sons.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Masterclass

October 2, 2021 at 12:47 pm Leave a comment

7 Ways to Be Less Critical…

Photo by Ebuka Onyewuchi on Pexels.com

Do you find yourself criticizing the people around you more often than complimenting them? Perhaps you’re harsh on yourself as well…

One of the ways to stop being critical of others is to learn to define your own self-worth intrinsically, which means that you learn to see the beautiful qualities of who you are – caring, compassionate, empathetic, kind, and generous.

Today we will focus on ways to be less critical of our children.

7 Ways to Be Less Critical of Your Child 👶🏽 🧒🏽 

  1. Describe the Situation Instead of Fixing Blame.
  2. Say Nothing.
  3. Express Your Feelings.
  4. Put Things in Perspective and Let Things Slide.
  5. Make the Praise Descriptive Instead of Generic.
  6. Focus on the Effort Instead of the Outcome.
  7. Focus on Encouragement instead of Judgement.

We all make mistakes. 

We often criticize ourselves more severely than our loved ones or peers, interfering with our sense of harmony in our mental and emotional capabilities, strength, and spiritual beliefs. 

Maturity occurs as we practice forgiving ourselves, our children and each other.  

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parent coaching programs that help you through Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

June 30, 2021 at 9:39 pm Leave a comment

Now That I have Time to Think

One of the benefits of COVID-19 is the time that I am taking to motivate myself.
#selfcare #morningroutine

Continue Reading May 13, 2020 at 12:48 pm Leave a comment

Chickenpox Vs Coronavirus

If you’ve ever had a child with chickenpox, you know how important it is to stay in the house and how miserable your child who has the chickenpox is. Chickenpox is highly contagious. You’re usually feverish and very itchy, and like the coronavirus, you are quarantined to stay inside until you’re healed.

Coronavirus reminds me of the chickenpox, because you feel terrible if you catch it, and it’s contagious! The huge difference is that some people are dying because of the coronavirus, and that’s pretty scary. So stay inside and keep a social distance from everyone… well except your family.

As a parent, I think about all the opportunities that this quarantine is offering me:

  • I get to spend more time with my family and my husband (actually as empty-nesters, my husband and I get to spend a lot of time with each other)
  • I get to make memories that I’m otherwise too busy to make
  • Limited take-out – we eat more often as a family

As an adult, I can:

  • Stay up late
  • I can binge watch TV programs I never have time to watch
  • Read books I have promised I would read, as soon as I get time

You get the idea… These are benefits of this quarantine. If you are an Entrepreneur, you’re still busy trying to figure out how to stay connected with your customers or clients. You may have to change how you do business because you are now forced to communicate with people online, by social media, by phone. I know these are new challenges for me. However as a mom, I stay in touch with my children daily, and I think about how to stay engaged with them, even though we are miles apart. If we were together what board or card game would we be playing or what movie would we watch together? My kids loved board games and we would play Monopoly, Life, Uno or Phase 10. We also enjoyed cooking and eating together and then sitting around the table and talking to each other.

teens

QuaranTeened

For those of you with teens, the biggest challenge is probably for your teenagers who are very social and used to talking to their friends instead of you. They would rather stay in their room and talk on the phone or talk to their friends on Snapchat or Instagram. This quarantine is a great opportunity to open those communication channels between the two of you and start talking. Ask their opinion on the coronavirus quarantine. It might be a little awkward, getting the conversations started. It’s okay, keep talking and finding topics that they will talk about with you.

  • Cook together
  • Depending where you live, ride bikes together
  • Watch movies
  • Have fun and enjoy each other.

I believe this time is really designed for us to get closer to the people that we love or at least learn how to love them.

In-House Spouse

Probably the next biggest challenge is how to play nice with your spouse when you are both working from home. It’s easy to forget what attracted you to each other, if you are cooped up, raising kids, working from home or trying to figure out how to pay your bills, because one of you have lost your income due to the quarantine.

The challenge is to do something fun daily together. Bring up wonderful memories from the past. Binge watch programs together. Show interest in something that your spouse or partner is interested in.

Oh, and switch up the chores with your kiddos, so that Mom (or Dad) don’t get burned out. Tweens and teens can cook and clean too!

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

March 26, 2020 at 3:30 pm 1 comment

Your No-Stress Guide to the Perfect Family Getaway

Unsplash.com

 

Guest blog by Leslie Campos

Becoming a parent might mean that your days of traveling on a whim with nothing but a backpack are behind you, but it doesn’t have to mean staying put at home, either. Traveling with young children will require some extra planning and preparation. But with strategic budgeting and the right attitude, you can avoid common travel pitfalls. 

Want to save money and avoid stressing on your next family vacation? These tips will help you cut costs and enjoy your time off with your little ones. 

 

Travel With Relatives

If you’re planning to hit the road during the holiday season or over the summer, when most people have time off, reach out to relatives or friends with children and see if they would be interested in joining you. Yes, traveling with another family can present challenges, like figuring out finances, coordinating schedules, and making sure the kids get along, but there are also plenty of perks. 

 

With more adults around, parents can swap nights of staying in and babysitting the kids so that the other couple can have a romantic evening out. If you choose to rent a home or a large, multi-room hotel suite, you can save money by splitting the costs. Plus, the kids are less likely to get bored and antsy when they have cousins to hang out with. 

 

Plan to Pump on the Go

When your child is still breastfeeding, you might feel nervous about going on vacation. It’s perfectly normal to have concerns about pumping, breastfeeding in public, or properly storing breast milk while you’re en route to your destination. Having the right supplies can help—for instance, The Bump recommends packing a cooler bag, a leak-resistant bra, and a nursing poncho. 

 

If you’re flying, check out the TSA guidelines for transporting breast milk and other necessities for your baby before you take off. According to Kindred Bravely, women who are breastfeeding and need to store the bottles while traveling should be aware that breastmilk will technically last for about four to five days if refrigerated. However, it’s best for your baby to consume it within 72 hours. To keep the bottles as cold as possible, place them in the back of the fridge once you get to your accommodations. 

 

Baby Wearing

Lugging a stroller around on vacation can be cumbersome, especially if you know that you’ll be flying or taking busses to get around. Instead, try babywearing! Since you’re in an unfamiliar place where your child will inevitably be exposed to extra stimulation, being physically closer to you will be soothing for your baby, especially if they are feeling a little fussy. 

There are plenty of options for baby carriers and wraps. If you’re traveling with a newborn, Lamaze Internationalrecommends a ring sling to make nursing easier. Extended babywearing can be uncomfortable for your child’s hips, so it’s important to give them a break every hour or so. Your back and shoulders will thank you! 

 

Early Bedtimes

Every parent knows that kids will be more prone to tantrums if they stay up past their bedtime. On vacation, your kids will probably be tempted to try bending the rules around bedtime, but letting them do so can lead to meltdowns. Treat your kids by letting them stay up a little later than usual, but make it clear that they will still have to stick with a relatively early bedtime. 

Waking up and going to bed earlier means that your family can enjoy the popular attractions in the morning when crowds are thin. Bonus: If you make early dinner reservations, you may be able to take advantage of “Kids Eat Free” deals, which will help you cut down on your overall spending. 

The costs and effort involved in booking a family vacation can dissuade some parents from hitting the road with their kids. But finding great deals, linking up with relatives, and packing all the gear your family needs can help you have a successful, stress-free trip.

Wishing you and your family a happy new year!

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

December 31, 2019 at 5:05 pm

Working Time Management For Moms

When you walk in the door, you see a stack of papers floating around your desk, and when you go home, just as at the office, you can’t find those important papers you need so desperately to stay out of trouble or make an excuse. 

When you come home at night, you and your spouse argue, and your children ignore you because you just aren’t spending family time with some of the important people in your life.

Does this sound familiar?

Have you ever wondered why?

Well, you are not managing your time accordingly so that you reap benefits and the ones you love are happy. You are not organized, so therefore how the heck can you find those important documents?

Moms already have a big responsibility and we neglect to manage our times, our responsibilities turn to chaos.

Let’s face it: it is never easy to stay organized when we have busy work schedules and a family to attend to, as well as other responsibilities.

The traditional individuals often store files in a filing cabinet, and clean their room and desk once every week. However, there are people out there that are spontaneous. Some of us even store documents so they are out of sight and soon find those documents are out of mind, until someone calls their attention to the papers.

The key to success moms is getting your priorities straight. If you shop for groceries once per week, you can cut back time by buying enough to last longer, so that grocery shopping isn’t part of your weekly plan. 

The extra hour or more that you spend at the supermarket can be spent on quality time with the family. This is only one solution to managing your time, but it is certainly a start. In addition, you can make up a list of your duties, starting with the most important tasks first, and working through the list one at a time. I found this to be a great solution for managing time, since when you work hard to complete one task, the rests fall into place with ease.

If you spend an hour or even one half hour in the mirror, it is probably because you are not feeling good about yourself. It takes approximately five minutes to put makeup on, and to stand in the mirror longer is only taking up time. Hair is also important since our person in general sets an impression. If you spend longer time than needed doing your hair, try finding nice looking hairstyles that are less complicated to style. This is also a great process of the time management solution. Clothing should also be limited but appropriate for whatever it is that you are doing and it should not take less than a couple of minutes to get dressed.

Unless you are a model, or actress, overdressing is not appropriate in most cases for everyday life situations. If you are spending extra time preparing meals, you might want to consider recipes that are quick and healthy to manage your time mom. Look for my time management, organization and meal planning coaching program to launch in January 2019.

Interested in controlling your time management issues? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my work-life balance programs for working and entrepreneurial mothers.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

December 19, 2018 at 6:18 pm Leave a comment

Summer’s Almost Over – Are You Where You Want to Be?

Have you ever stopped for a moment and thought about some of the things that you’ve accomplished? If your answer is no I completely understand. Usually that’s me too! I am so busy creating and accomplishing, that I don’t think about my achievements. However today is August 1 and the summer is coming to an end. I started thinking about what I’ve accomplished this summer and what it means to me.

I am super passionate about great relationships between parents and their children and have written several books about how achieve the relationship that you want with your children and your parents. This summer I’ve been writing a relationship book about fathers and daughters. While I’ve had some tears, I’ve had some laughter too as I think about my dad and my relationship with him.

You see, I grew up in the 60s, where adults could tell you what to do and you did it. That was a time where your village existed within the neighborhood you lived in, and you had more than one set of parents because every adult could tell you what to do. Parenting then was very different from what’s taking place today – the safety of the villages has all but disappeared.

But back to my father-daughter book. I didn’t think I had a lot to write about my relationship with my dad, until I began writing. His parenting style was quite a bit different from my mother’s and equally important for my growth into womanhood. Dad didn’t sugarcoat what he said, and I knew I could trust him. He was like most dads who don’t provide frills and flowery words to us, but they say what we (daughters) need to hear. 

I can’t wait until my book is ready to share with you. As a matter fact, I will be hosting a father – daughter discussion on August 6 from 7 to 9 PM here in Chicago. Here is the link if you want to attend this free discussion: daddaughtertalk.eventbrite.com. I would love for you to join me. #FathersandDaughtersRock

So… Are you where you want to be?

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

 

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

August 1, 2018 at 10:25 pm Leave a comment

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