Posts tagged ‘girls’

Summer’s Almost Over – Are You Where You Want to Be?

Have you ever stopped for a moment and thought about some of the things that you’ve accomplished? If your answer is no I completely understand. Usually that’s me too! I am so busy creating and accomplishing, that I don’t think about my achievements. However today is August 1 and the summer is coming to an end. I started thinking about what I’ve accomplished this summer and what it means to me.

I am super passionate about great relationships between parents and their children and have written several books about how achieve the relationship that you want with your children and your parents. This summer I’ve been writing a relationship book about fathers and daughters. While I’ve had some tears, I’ve had some laughter too as I think about my dad and my relationship with him.

You see, I grew up in the 60s, where adults could tell you what to do and you did it. That was a time where your village existed within the neighborhood you lived in, and you had more than one set of parents because every adult could tell you what to do. Parenting then was very different from what’s taking place today – the safety of the villages has all but disappeared.

But back to my father-daughter book. I didn’t think I had a lot to write about my relationship with my dad, until I began writing. His parenting style was quite a bit different from my mother’s and equally important for my growth into womanhood. Dad didn’t sugarcoat what he said, and I knew I could trust him. He was like most dads who don’t provide frills and flowery words to us, but they say what we (daughters) need to hear. 

I can’t wait until my book is ready to share with you. As a matter fact, I will be hosting a father – daughter discussion on August 6 from 7 to 9 PM here in Chicago. Here is the link if you want to attend this free discussion: daddaughtertalk.eventbrite.com. I would love for you to join me. #FathersandDaughtersRock

So… Are you where you want to be?

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

 

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

August 1, 2018 at 10:25 pm Leave a comment

How Do You Manage Anger?

Dealing with anger and its repercussions can be very challenging. Being unaware of how to handle irritating and stressful situations may be a reason for many fits of anger and rage. Most people, except for young children and (possibly) teens, recognize their problem with uncontrollable anger.  Although there are many anger management activities which would enable them to better cope with confrontational situations, some people are unaware of these techniques and activities.

There are many anger management activities that parents and their children can practice or participate in when attempting to cope with daily feelings of anger.

One activity which is recommended for anger management is exercise. Exercise has been proven to have a positive impact on a person’s mood. Exercise helps an individual to decrease any negative feelings they might be experiencing. An effective anger management activity might be as simple as going for a walk or jog in the park. Visiting the gym to work out of taking part in their favorite sport may work well for an individual as an anger management activity. Taking a hike or spending a few hours in the beauty of nature would definitely allow a person to clear their head and release tension. Outdoor anger management activities can create an environment of serenity.

Anger management activities such as attending a support group, camp or retreat would help people who are experiencing difficulties controlling their anger. One positive aspect of attending anger management activities allows the person to see that their problem is not unique; that it is shared by plenty of other people. Being able to share with people in similar situations might be the key to anger management for some individuals. Sharing would likely provide hope through success stories. In anger management activities such as these, people are forced

to deal with their anger issues through various activities group sessions and one on one consults.

Anger management activities are recommended when dealing with children who are coping with anger or loss issues. A child is unlikely to respond well to group sessions and perhaps even become bored with one on one consultations. Finding activities which are interesting and even challenging may be a better alternative. Kids enjoy fun and games. Designing anger management games which are enjoyable yet beneficial would be so much more effective than forcing a child to sit down with an anger management counselor. Worksheets, coloring pages, individual games as well as interactive games would be accepted much better by children than a trip to the psychiatrist. When children are involved, it is essential to approach the problem carefully. Being overbearing will not go over well with kids. When considering anger management activities for kids, it is essential to be mindful that they are only children and the approach is important.

When considering anger management activities, choose ones which you find interesting and enjoyable. Sticking a person in an unfamiliar setting may create additional feelings of anger or isolation, neither of which is the intention of anger management activities. Finding an activity that works should be the key focus. I will be hosting a free parenting class on anger and grief on June 1, 2018 at Dyett High School through Parent University. Registration is highly recommended due to class size: dyettparentu.eventbrite.com

 

C. Lynn Williams

#MsParentguru & Founder of Finding Superwoman™

clynnwilliams.com

May 30, 2018 at 9:23 pm Leave a comment

If You Are A Too Busy Working Mom…

Have you ever felt completely at your wits end because you had a project due at work or in your business, and your img_9908daughter needed you? I’ve been there and remember how difficult it was to make the choice to spend time with her. Yes I chose my daughter. Because there will ALWAYS be a project, a meeting, an event to attend.

Here’s the million dollar question! What’s the consequence if you don’t spend time when she needs (wants) you? Will she want to talk a week, month or year later? Will what was so important to her to share with you today, matter in six months (when you have more time)?

Go to my YouTube channel: MsParentGuru and check out my YouTube video blog: Click Here

If you are struggling to have meaningful conversations with your daughter and want help, let’s have a conversation about your next steps. Here’s a link to reach me. While you’re deciding if you really want to talk about that mother-daughter relationship, pick up a copy of my book, Raising Your Daughter.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentGuru

Connect with my parent community: www.clynnwilliams.com

November 10, 2016 at 1:32 pm Leave a comment

Gun Violence Begins at Home

acceptance

Growing up in the 50’s and 60’s, all I wanted was to be accepted for who I was – glasses and all, and look like my best girlfriend Susan. What I later learned is that it wouldn’t have mattered what I looked like, because most kids wanted to look like or be someone else.

While most of my friends had strict parents, I didn’t have any close friends (that I knew of) whose parents were verbally (or physically) cruel. I say that because as a kid we had parental permission to visit our close friends and I often watched how my friends’ moms and dads interacted with them. Yes I’ve been fascinated with family dynamics since I was a kid. I know what it’s like to grow up in a house where you’re constantly criticized or made to feel bad for who you are. I’ve seen it firsthand. As a child, it feels awful to be constantly criticized.Not Communicating

I also feel sorry for parents who expect to have (what they consider to be) normal kids, who aren’t. Maybe the child is sick, disabled/handicapped or have a different sexual orientation. It’s understandable to expect your child to grow up and be awesome! All parents want that. But when your child grows up and chooses a career or life that you did not expect or don’t value as acceptable, what do you do?

I believe you internalize your disappointment and think you’ve failed as a parent. Depending on your upbringing, you become critical of that young man or woman and say hurtful things that create division and separation. But let me tell you what can happen to that young man or woman; they feel rejected and hurt. You may never hear those feelings because it’s not safe for them to share them with you. If the dynamics in your household is violence and anger, they internalize that too.

Think about it! The gun violence over the last 6 years has often been random and impersonal. As a kid, if you haven’t been hugged, kissed or told how much you are loved (by your parents); if your only validation was to be told ‘How stupid you are’, ‘You’ll never amount to anything’, ‘I wish you were never born’ or ‘Shut up’; you’re ignored or beaten, it is easy to see how you would internalize those feelings and become bitter.

Anytime I read or hear about a mass or random shooting, I wonder what kind of environment that person grew up in. Were they loved, nurtured and well-cared for? Or were they allowed to do their own thing and somewhat ignored because their parents worked (a lot), didn’t know how to reach out to them, didn’t care. Gun violence photo

I am truly sorry for the mass shootings in Orlando, as well as the daily shootings in Chicago. Folks wake up! It’s not too late to reestablish a loving relationship with your child – no matter how old they are. ♥♥

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for aging parents, Mothers and Daughters or Mothers and Sons. Email me at: info@clynnwilliams.com

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Coach & Author

www.clynnwilliams.com

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)
Yours & Mine: The Winning Blended Family Formula (220 Publishing, 2015)

 

June 15, 2016 at 11:21 am 4 comments

Teaching Millennial Young Women…OMG

young-women

I have been absent from this blog for the last month. Hard to believe, but it’s true and I apologize to those of you who look forward to my weekly posts. I have a good excuse though; I’ve been teaching a group of young ladies that have given me a run for my money. Call them young female millennials.

These young women are outspoken, opinionated, oppositional and hard to love. Many of them have dysfunctional relationships with their mothers – they have said “I hate my mom”, don’t respond well to rules and have very short attention spans.

I took it personally at first and couldn’t understand why I was dealing with this type of student. Then I realized that many of you have these young girls or women in your home. These are your daughters and they are not easy to parent or get close to. There are many reasons explaining why our daughters appear distant from us.  It could be the fast pace of social media; how women and girls are portrayed in the media, or the inattention that they receive at home from us their mothers and fathers when we’re busy.

I know we have to change our mindset in order to reach this generation. They love technology. That means we can’t hate technology and expect to stay in touch with our girls. Whether it’s through texting, emailing, Face-timing or Facebook messages, talk to your girls and let them know you love them and are there for them.
millennial women 2
While the attitudes of these students were enough to make me think about retiring early; I realized that I was being given an opportunity to do what I love to do – get close and share my love with this millennial generation – your daughters. There are all kinds of things going on in their young lives. Some good; some not so good. They just need to know that someone really cares and is listening. No matter what type of outward attitude they give off.

Keep the lines of communication open Moms…your daughters really are listening.

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for millennial daughters, aging parents, or mothers and sons.

Email me at: info@clynnwilliams.com

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Author, Coach & Family Dynamics Specialist

www.clynnwilliams.com

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)
NEW: Yours & Mine: A Winning Blended Family Formula (220 Publishing, 2015)

 

November 2, 2015 at 10:10 pm Leave a comment

Want A DREAM Prom?

I love prom season. The dresses, hair, make-up, shoes, beautiful couple, 13790_DreamProm_03-01_612x612everything. The downside was when it was time for my daughters to attend prom, there were so many expenses, and prom dresses were priced as expensively as wedding dresses! Oh well… proms are still beautiful events, just create a budget and work with your daughter on what you are willing to spend.

I was recently contacted by OXY® Acne Medication about a prom sweepstakes that they are offering to high school girls. Please read and share this information with your daughter and take pictures of your daughter and her date, as well as reach out to me on social media should she  win the sweepstakes. american-prom-dress

Pick up a specially marked package of OXY® Treatment Pads which contain a sticker and a code that can be entered at www.oxydreamprom.com for a chance to win a Dream Prom or one of hundreds of prizes from companies such as PromGirl.com, Tuxedo Junction, Shutterfly, and Nikon, as well as gift cards that can be redeemed for hair styling, limo rental, and more.

Beginning today, visitors to www.oxydreamprom.com can also log in to vote for their favorite user-submitted promposals. The winner will receive a Dream Prom prize package worth more than $2,000. Here’s a link to the press release detailing the sweepstakes:   http://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20150420006408/en/OXY%C2%AE-Acne-Medication-Helps-Teens-Prom-Ready-Skin#.VTVN7mZicQF

 

Want to learn more about ways to have a great relationship with your 13790_DreamProm_FB_Profile daughter? Contact Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about her inspiring parenting programs for aging parents, Mothers and Daughters or Mothers and Sons. Email: info@clynnwilliams.com

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Author & Generational Development Strategist

www.clynnwilliams.com/site

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)

April 23, 2015 at 2:45 pm Leave a comment

Desperate for Love…

Some of us marry to close that gaping hole. Others of us have sex early in our lives; maybe we have children (earlier than we are ready) that we hope will love us and fill that void. Desperate-for-love

What we find is that NOTHING fills that void like a relationship with God. But as little girls, before we know God, we know our parents. As I watch programs like Being Mary Jane or any reality show that deals with society’s view of relationships, I want you to know is that, the very first love that a young girl knows is with her father. She determines that by how much he provides emotional support and is present in her life. The second but equally important relationship is her relationship with her mother.  Here she learns what is acceptable and what isn’t. Programs like Empire or Scandal may be entertaining, but the situations are fake. We have to teach our daughters that those are actors, who are paid to act a certain way. Teach them not to idolize the lifestyle shown in these programs; this is not real life.

If we want daughters that grow up without gaping holes, we must tell them wgaping hole-300x199e love them. We must show them we love them by making time for them and being patient as they grow and mature. We have to use words that heal instead of those that tear down. She is not a little b*&^%! If we want them to respect themselves, we (women) have to upgrade our standards for ourselves by walking away from dysfunctional relationships. Not every man is the one for you. If he is married, leave him alone. Take time to take care of you.  Let’s focus on taking care of our bodies, mind and spirit too.

Let’s move away from desperate, damaged and defeated to caring, courageous, and CONFIDENT!

Interested in learning more about parenting, self-care & self-love? Contact Ms. Parent Guru (by email) to register for her parent mentoring program for Mothers and Daughters. Email her at: info@clynnwilliams.com

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Author & Generational Development Strategist

www.clynnwilliams.com

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)

 

February 24, 2015 at 7:37 am 3 comments

4 Shockingly Simple Rules That Could Keep Lots Of Teenaged Boys From Committing Rape (reblog)

A lot of people feel that this article is inappropriate and will be offended. I suggest that you read to the end and decide for yourself. Reblogged from Angieup.tumblr

avoiding rape

Instead of teaching girls how to not get raped (“don’t wear this,” “don’t ever drink,” etc.), what if we went to the root of the problem and raised boys to know the ins and outs of consent?*

Here’s how you can rule out sleeping with someone:

1. She’s hammered.

2. She seems unsure if she wants to (you should never have to talk anyone into it).

3. She’s passed out.

4. It seems like there’s any other reason she might regret it in the morning. (Even if it’s not rape, do you really want to be someone’s morning-after regret, when instead they can remember you as a total gentleman?)

P.S. My he/she conventions here are in no way an attempt to shut out gay men from the conversation — these are notes to my son (who happens to be heterosexual) and other heterosexual sons. To gay sons out there, just pretend I said he, because this goes for you, too!

Here’s how you can be sure it’s okay to proceed with sex:

1. She is in control of her faculties.

2. She is enthusiastically willing.

3. Check in with her! “Do you want to be doing this?” is a great thing to ask when things are going to another sexual level. The worst thing that will happen is she’ll rethink it and say, no, she’s actually not ready. It’s important at that point to pivot to doing something else together, and not make her feel guilty for changing her mind. While that may feel like a bummer to you in the moment, what you’ve just achieved there is fucking badass. You’ve just put someone else’s feelings ahead of your physiological needs. You’ve just treated somebody the way you hope another guy would treat your sister.

All of this is to say, I actually think you’ve got this. You’re going to do great things in the world as you fully inhabit your manhood, and I think the integrity you’re made of is going to come through in all kinds of situations. I really wish you a great, fulfilling sex life where you each mutually benefit and you each come away from it feeling fortified and better for it; not damaged, confused, or disappointed in yourself.

Love and hugs and rainbows and all that,

Mom

To read the full article, click here: Son It’s Okay

If you liked what you read, follow my blog for more articles, info and camaraderie with other people just like you & me. Reach out to me on Twitter (@cgwwbook) or Facebook (CGWWBooks)

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Generational Development Coach
www.clynnwilliams.com

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)

September 17, 2014 at 10:53 am Leave a comment

Rites of Passage for our Daughters

Image

No offense guys, but today’s blog is probably not your cup of tea, unless you are a single dad raising a daughter..or two. If so, continue readings and pay close attention. 

Daughters: Have you had a ceremony to celebrate your passage from young girl to womanhood? That’s right I am talking about a rites of passage that celebrates the start of your menstrual cycle. You are probably wondering – “Who celebrates the start of the curse?”. It’s not a curse, it is a blessing. The beginning of your menstrual cycle is when you becomes fertile and are able to bear life, like Mother Earth. Maybe if we had ceremonial rituals for our girls entering womanhood, there might be more reverence for our bodies and more care put into having children and our roles as nurturers.

Historically, different Native tribes celebrate this time with symbolic ceremonies. The Apache tribe calls their rites of passage, “Sunrise Ceremony” and include many activities and rituals that signify a young girl becoming a woman.  The Navajo tribe conducts an elaborate four-day celebration called the “Kinaalda“. The celebration includes dances, different rituals, and cake (I love any celebration that includes cake). Many other Native American tribes celebrate their girls crossing a bridge into womanhood. http://bit.ly/1p6SZt7  In many African, Middle Eastern and Asian countries, a female rite of passage called female circumcision or female genital mutilation is practiced. While a traditional custom, female circumcision is controversial because it poses a health risk and is carried out not only on pubescent girls, but right after birth. Tissue is excised from the vulva of the female. http://tiny.cc/5szxgx 

In today’s American culture, this kind of positive association with womanhood is generally not considered with the possible exception of the bat mitzvah. However, I don’t believe the bat mitzvah celebrates a young girl’s first menstruation, (my Jewish readers – please let clarify for me), instead it holds a girl accountable for her actions as an adult.

When my daughter’s cycle began, I wanted to celebrate her ‘bridge‘ to womanhood and not have her consider it a curse. I bought a small, beautifully colored journal, and asked each of the significant women (aunts, grandmothers, godmother, close family friends) in her life to write their thought of her or something special that she would be able to read then and reflect on later. We had a special dinner and and she was given gifts and cards. Since no one else in our family or friends had done this before, there was no precedence and she was embarrassed “Mom how could you tell EVERYBODY!”. I just told her how special she was to me as my precious daughter. Feel free to read more about raising a daughter in my latest book: Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! available at Amazon.com.

I would love to hear from you if you have conducted your own rite of passage with your daughter, niece or granddaughter. Email me at cgwwbooks@gmail.com.

Warm wishes,

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parent Coach
www.clynnwilliams.com

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Communications, 2013)

June 4, 2014 at 6:19 pm Leave a comment

Congratulations Lady GaGa!

Did you hear about the foundation that Lady Gaga started to stamp out bullying for young people? What a great idea! First she appeals to young people because of her style and singing! However, bullying is an issue that affects many kids today. Parents hate hearing that their kids are being bullied, and most kids suffer (being bullied) in silence.

Way to go Lady G!

March 1, 2012 at 11:36 am 1 comment


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