Posts tagged ‘kids’

Care Enough To Join Me

We had an event in my community yesterday and it had been a culmination of twice weekly activities over a six week period, that included young people from elementary through high school as well as adults.

We had a pretty decent turnout, with most parents attending with their child. The odd thing was that the parents of one of our teens did not attend. She said they were home cleaning house 🧼 🧽. I was really bummed out, for her. She had had some rough times during our weekly meetings with family issues but during the entire time, we never met her parents. 👁👁

It took me back to the days when my children were younger. We tried to attend everything they were involved in. Of course that wasn’t possible, but we tried. And maybe this was true for my teen’s parents. Maybe they attend every other event and just couldn’t with this one. Watching her during our project meetings I got a different impression. To me she felt lonely and alone.

So this is what I want to say to her parents: It is important to show up in your kid’s life as often as you can. Doesn’t matter if they are 5, 15 or 25 years old. Our kids love our support! Yes it’s easy to show up for the large events like graduations and milestone birthdays. But sometimes we have to be parents no matter how busy our days are and be available! That means we play games with our kids, we go for walks (yea put down the headphones, game controllers and phones) 😁

As the parental unit (one of my daughter’s favorite phrases), our kids won’t remember that we were trying to make a living and had to put food on the table that’s not the first thing that they will remember about us. What they may remember is that we sat on the stairs and talked with them about what the 2020 election means; they’ll remember that we drove to the lakefront and watched the sunset; that we talked into the night about good and bad decisions, that we watch their favorite Disney movie 10 times… in a row. They will remember playing Monopoly with you and how many properties you bought!

Your child will remember the times you spent doing stuff together!

I feel bad because my teen friend looks and feels lonely. It doesn’t feel like she has a good support system and I hope she has a stronger one in the future.

Oh and parents… try to be more mindful of the time your child really needs with you.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

clynnwilliams.com

October 10, 2020 at 6:51 pm Leave a comment

Merry Christmas

merry-christmas christmas-family
I love the festivities of Christmas whether I’m addressing Christmas cards, buying gifts (I hate wrapping them), putting up decorations and getting the house ready for Christmas and Kwanzaa. I’ve to be careful in what I want out of the holidays – enjoyable time with my family versus a stressed out wife and mom who tries to do everything. My enthusiasm for trying to do everything, makes a wonderful time of year just another huge exhausting commitment!

As adults and parents, we know how hectic the holidays can be, however our excitement may not translate to our teens and adult children. Our kids may be finishing projects or exams and it just seems that Mom (or Dad) are ‘doing too much’.

Here are four tips to keep the holiday season in perspective and enjoyable for you and your children:

1) Don’t try to do everything yourself. Ask your kids and spouse for help. A great example is buying and dressing the Christmas tree. We love having a tree and even when I least feel like decorating the tree, one of our kids will help, takeover the job entirely or talk to me until I’ve finished ‘dressing’ the tree.

2) Relax your expectations. You may get push-back from your college kids if you expect them to get up (early) on a Saturday morning and go shopping. Early Saturdays may be a great time to take the younger kids to see Santa Claus or make cookies. You can still have family time, without the stress and attitudes.

3) Take some time for you. If sleeping late on a Saturday or Sunday morning is not possible, then go workout, slip out to yoga class (while everyone is asleep) or take yourself shopping and enjoy being in the stores without someone constantly calling your name.

4) Do something different this year. Consider starting a new tradition with your family. It makes getting ready for the holidays so much more exciting. As a kid, my family drove through different neighborhoods looking at Christmas decorations. That was so much fun because my siblings, parents and I were all together! As a parent, my kids and I took the train to Chicago and watched the Lighting Ceremony at the Magnificent Mile. Oh boy! Was that fun!! Depending on the age of your children, let them help decide what new and exciting family activity you will try for the holidays!

To make this time even more special, we’ve prepared a wonderful Christmas gift to help you get ready for the Holiday spirit! Quantities are limited! To receive your Christmas gift, send me an email with your name & mailing address. I will send you my very special gift!

Quantities are limited so email me right away!hannukah

If you would like to learn about my activities and events before everyone else Click Here to join my parenting community.

 

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentgurukwanzaa

Family Dynamics Strategist, Coach & Author

www.clynnwilliams.com

December 16, 2016 at 6:53 pm 3 comments

If You Are A Too Busy Working Mom…

Have you ever felt completely at your wits end because you had a project due at work or in your business, and your img_9908daughter needed you? I’ve been there and remember how difficult it was to make the choice to spend time with her. Yes I chose my daughter. Because there will ALWAYS be a project, a meeting, an event to attend.

Here’s the million dollar question! What’s the consequence if you don’t spend time when she needs (wants) you? Will she want to talk a week, month or year later? Will what was so important to her to share with you today, matter in six months (when you have more time)?

Go to my YouTube channel: MsParentGuru and check out my YouTube video blog: Click Here

If you are struggling to have meaningful conversations with your daughter and want help, let’s have a conversation about your next steps. Here’s a link to reach me. While you’re deciding if you really want to talk about that mother-daughter relationship, pick up a copy of my book, Raising Your Daughter.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentGuru

Connect with my parent community: www.clynnwilliams.com

November 10, 2016 at 1:32 pm Leave a comment

What’s the Benefit of Parenting Classes?

Parenting wаѕ а process that one took up naturally without any trace of self-doubt; thоѕе good past parentingold days are virtually passé. Aѕ humans, we are blessed with а lifelong sense of nurturing, and it іѕ thіѕ trait that sets uѕ араrt frоm thе оthеr species thаt constitute thе animal kingdom. Thе progress іn time brought аbоut а definitive change іn оur lifestyle, whісh аlѕо called fоr а change іn оur outlook towards parenting.

Previously, parenting wаѕ always thought оf аѕ instinct thаt уоu wеrе born wіth, аnd уоu simply hаd tо hone іt. Thе adage thаt ‘parents know best‘ wаѕ ѕоmеthіng wе always took fоr granted. Preparing fоr parenthood wаѕ а completely alien concept, bесаuѕе wе totally lеt nature decide thе course оf оur behavior аѕ parents-tо-bе. Nоt thаt іt wаѕ wrong іn аnу way, but thе advent оf prenatal classes changed аll thаt. Mom Talking to Daughter 2

Originally aimed аt young оr single mothers, prenatal classes spearheaded thе change іn thе mindsets оf many traditionalists whо frowned оn thе concept оf training а mother tо bе а mother. Fоr young parents, hоwеvеr, prenatal classes wеrе а godsend. Parenting classes today аrе no longer limited tо new parents. Yоu have classes thаt help уоu deal wіth а wide spectrum оf parental issues like anger management, looking after children wіth special needs, dealing wіth bullying оr abuse; thеrе аrе sessions thаt deal specifically wіth raising teens, аnd frankly, thеrе іѕn’t а parent whо wоuld refuse help whеn іt comes tо interacting wіth teenagers.

What do Parenting Classes Teach?

Thе benefits оf parenting classes аrе many, but thе best thing аbоut taking one іѕ thе amount оf confidence іt instills іn уоu. Yоu аrе better equipped tо deal wіth different challenges thаt parenthood throws аt уоu.

Thеrе іѕ а fine line bеtwееn being authoritative аnd autocratic. Aѕ parents, іt often appears blurred. Thіѕ іѕ one оf thе main reasons thаt cause differences. Professional advice іn ѕuсh cases often proves helpful.

“Am I а Bad Parent?”

Cеrtаіnlу nоt. On thе contrary, good parents аrе thоѕе whо accept thеіr mistakes, аnd reach оut fоr help whеn thеу find thеmѕеlvеѕ falling short. Thеу аrе аlѕо іn touch wіth reality, having dispelled аll illusions оf being thе ‘perfect parent’.

To be continued next week…

Interested in learning more about parent mentoring? Contact Ms. Parent Guru by email to receive information on her upcoming parent mentoring program for Mothers and Daughters. Email her at: info@clynnwilliams.com

 

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Author & Generational Development Strategist

www.clynnwilliams.com

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)

January 24, 2015 at 8:21 pm 2 comments

3 Things You Want to Know…

(Reblogged from The Parenting Skill Daily)

 Parenting Tips: My Teen Lost His Phone, What Do I Do? 

Teen-lost-phone

By Olfa Turki

Looking for parenting tips on how to handle it when your teen loses his phone? Read my story to see how I handled it! My teen is in high school and commutes for one hour a day. To keep my sanity, my husband and I provided him with a cellphone for emergency calls. It was a long debate at our home, whether we can trust a 12 year old with a cellphone. But since I am a helicopter mom and since he is commuting for a long time, I wanted to feel safe and be able to reach him during his commute. I wanted him to be able to reach me in case something happens: a bus missed, a metro not working.

 

Substance Abuse – Does It Run In Families

By Eric Metcalf, MPHSubstance-Abuse-Does-It-Run-In-Families-AddictionTreatmentMagazine
@EricMetcalfMPH

Want to know if you’re likely to develop a health problem? Looking at your family history can often help you measure your level of risk.

For example, if a close family member has had type 2 diabetes, certain forms of cancer, or heart disease, you may also have a greater chance of developing the condition, too. The same is true for alcoholism and drug addiction. If a close family member has had a substance abuse problem, your risk is also higher.

Some of the extra risk that runs in families comes from the genes that one generation passes down to another. But other elements within your family can influence if you develop a problem with drugs or alcohol. For example, drinking too much or using drugs may have seemed normal to you from an early age because you saw family members do it.

What Kids Need to Know About EBOLA (Video)

Shared by Ann Morgan James

If you want to read more #parenting tips, follow My Blog and sign up for my Parenting Newsletter. Want to ask questions or dialogue with me about how tough adult issues affect our families; reach out to me on Twitter @cgwwbook or Like my Facebook fan page www.Facebook.com/CGWWBooks.     #ParentTips

 

 

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Author & Generational Development Specialist
www.clynnwilliams.com

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)

P.S. Hey… I have a new book coming out soon about #BlendedFamilies. Get in touch w/me if you want to be one of the first to read a short excerpt…

 

October 14, 2014 at 12:22 pm Leave a comment

Having Babies is For Grown Women©

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Planned Parenthood

I am so mad! “Who are you mad at” I ask myself. I am mad at them AND us! I am mad at all of the young girls who fell for the okeydoke that boys in heat tell them to satisfy their sexual curiosities. I’m mad when the girl’s best friend or mother suggests that they get an abortion and they say “No I plan to take care of this baby by myself.” But they have no idea how. I’m mad at the mothers who don’t talk to their daughters honestly and far enough in advance (age 8) about how our bodies will betray us by thoroughly enjoying that one time of thoroughly enjoyable sex and becoming pregnant. Tell your girls it only takes one time and the next thing you know you have another human being that you are responsible for. For mothers who had babies as teens, and refuse to talk openly with their daughters so that they don’t repeat that cycle of babies having babies, shame on you! Please tell them that taking birth control prevents pregnancy, but if they are promiscuous, they can catch genital herpes, pubic lice or syphilis just to name a few STIs. Tell them that girls are hard-wired differently than boys, and when we have sex, we fall in love. Doesn’t mean you like that boy, but you love him, you stop focusing on things that are important to you, and lose your mind over ‘that boy’.

I’m mad at those girls who are headstrong and expect their mothers and grandmothers to take care of their babies so they can grow up! You need a support system that goes beyond your mother & grandmother. It’s not easy raising kids. So babysit for your girlfriends and ask them to watch your kids too. If you have sisters, ask her to watch your child. If you want to attend college, take your baby with you and place it in the school’s day care center while you attend classes. That’s what grown women do. Will you miss the Friday and Saturday night parties? Probably so…

When I was a pre-teen, my mom & I had the ‘talk’. The gist of the talk was that I was to be respectable and not sleep around. If I couldn’t wait until marriage to have sex, I was to protect myself with birth control. Under no circumstances was I to bring home a baby and not be married to the baby’s father. Then she sent me to Teen Scene, a program initiated by the Chicago area Planned Parenthood to offer sex information and education to teens. They also handed out birth control pills, which makes people mad. Why? Because parents are the ones who are supposed to tell their daughters about sex & birth control right? Okay self- righteous people. Then I’m mad you and at church folk who refuse to remember when they were mistake-making teens and won’t share their experiences with the teens in their church.

I’m mad at men who don’t tell their sons the truth about what it means to be a father at 14 or 15; that being a father is not how many girls you’ve gotten pregnant, but how many children you are able to take care of and watch grow up. Please stop telling your son, “It’s probably not yours”. I realize that some girls have multiple sexual partners, but a word to the wise, if he slept with her, it’s a possibility it’s his! There is nothing wrong with testing for paternity, but also have him get a part-time job, so he can help his girl take care of their baby.

Sex is great, but it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. No, let me rephrase that – sex with a person you love and enjoy is great! The first time it’s probably terrible, especially if your first time is in a boys’ bathroom, in an alley, the back of a car, as a result of rape, or when you are not ready.

The stakes are high. For girls and women who had children while a teen and finished school, raised great kids, this conversation is NOT FOR YOU!

Hey Young Girls who are saving your virginity until you marry; this conversation is NOT FOR YOU! Grown folks, the mistakes of our children, are our mistakes too! Talk to those you mentor with honesty & love.

 

If you liked what you read, follow my blog for more articles, info and camaraderie with other people just like you & me. Reach out to me on Twitter (@cgwwbook) or Facebook (CGWWBooks)

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Author & Parent Coach
www.clynnwilliams.com

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)

August 8, 2014 at 9:23 pm 2 comments

Dads Are Parents Too

I just heard a commercial explaining that fathers had rights too! In my heart I know that that’s true, but I remembered how absent my father was when he and my mom first divorced. How empty I felt. Where was he? A friend of mine is separated from her husband and when he arranges to see his daughters, he often stays away. Fathers, you are the first love of your daughter. She learns how to treat a man by the way you treat her. Let her know you love and cherish her. Don’t fink out!

October 19, 2011 at 1:02 am Leave a comment

Back to School Kits for Parents

Kids aren’t the only ones who need school supplies!
Parents hit me up if you need a Back to School parenting kit.

August 8, 2011 at 6:42 pm Leave a comment


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