Posts tagged ‘parenting’
Racial Differences – What We Can Do
In my last article, I talked about whether there were racial differences between my son and yours? If you believe in the circle of life,
My Son, Your Son
you know that what goes around comes around. So right now, Black boys are being murdered at an alarming rate. However, it’s a matter of time before another ethnic group is targeted. I say, let’s band together, let’s change the laws that are unfairly targeting our youth no matter what race, ethnicity or religion and be about human unity.
I also want to know if it’s possible for African American people to begin operating (again) as a village, looking out for each other and each other’s children, supporting each other physically, financially, spiritually and combining our resources as necessary. There’s economic & political power if we operate as a group. We can share resources whether it’s with cooperative farming or loaning our gifts and skills to each other, so we will all thrive. Then it’s not life threatening to our families if Link or unemployment insurance is cut, a company downsizes and you lose your job, or the bank declines your loan for a new business. We have got to prevent outside societal issues from breaking us and damaging our families. Operating as a village means that we are empowered to speak out if we see each other’s child act inappropriately. Instead of being afraid of the young males on the block, mentor and share your skills with them. There is more to be said on this topic, but I think you understand what to do next. By the way, thanks for supporting authors like me and buying our books.
Here’s an excerpt from Chapter Ten, Reaching the Goal in Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen. “I think we can all agree that the goal is to have raised healthy, successful adult children who we can be proud of. Isn’t it? You want them to respect themselves and those around them. You pray that they are intelligent and are able to support themselves (hold a job), fight their own battles, and have a family. In short, “reaching the goal” means that they reflect to the world the best that you have given them.” Click here to purchase a copy for yourself or a friend. http://www.amazon.com/dp/0982796641 
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parenting Coach
http://www.clynnwilliams.com
Order My Books on Amazon.com:
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & Hormones! Available in summer, 2013
Justice or Just Us
As an African American mother with two sons, the George Zimmerman verdict was really disturbing. As a matter of fact, it broke my heart. I wonder if other mothers feel the same way I do, no matter what your ethnic background? How would you feel, if the son you nurtured and raised, was shot and killed for no apparent reason? You see, as an American I truly believe in the “American dream”. Here’s the dream: get an education, get a job – a good job, start a family, teach your kids to respect themselves and other people, have a belief in something bigger than you (for me that’s God), live peaceably among my neighbors and give back to those less fortunate than you.
What this verdict says to me is that no matter how good my parenting is, no matter how educated, well-behaved, or respected my sons are, they can be gunned down and the killer (particularly if not a person of color) is guaranteed to go free. Where is the justice for my boys and other African American males here in America? How do we protect our sons? Where is the love & justice for people of all colors, not just those whose skin looks different from mine?
God asks that we love each other. Let’s eliminate the racial lines along which we are divided and draw a new world of love, peace and justice for all people collectively. #MsParentguru
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parenting Coach
http://www.clynnwilliams.com
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter: the Joys, Tears & Hormones (available in Summer, 2013)
My Dad
I love Father’s Day because I get to honor my dad, but it’s weird like Mother’s Day because how do you celebrate someone (for a day) who has loved you all of your life? The question for me is what did I learn from my dad? Hm… Well, my dad was very patient and easy-going. So during those times, when I’m not running at 100 miles per hour, I’m probably acting like my dad! 
In addition, he accepted people for who they were. I very seldom heard him talk badly about anyone. Okay I have half of that trait from him! On good days, when I’m not yelling at the driver in front of me, I’m probably acting more like my dad. I’m pretty competitive, believe in helping others (got that from both parents), and I’d say the rest of my traits are a result of my mother. (She was pretty awesome too!) The one thing I don’t see a lot anymore is that my father taught me to respect myself as a woman and to be selective in my choices of men. I’m sure I learned other things, but those are the main traits that make me who I am today.
However, my dad taught me tolerance because when I went through a divorce, my ex-husband had a hard time paying child support. My mother said, “throw the book at him”. My dad agreed with me when I decided to work things out. My ex-husband was a good father, so having him continue to work and provide what he could for his children was more important to me than having him sit in jail.
By the way, my dad turned 81 years old last week, and he’s in great health. Happy Father’s Day Horace!
Dad, Patti & Me
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parenting Coach
http://www.clynnwilliams.com
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Wolves Are Out There – Have you Protected Your Daughter available in summer, 2013
When to Cut Finances to Your Adult Child
When do you stop helping your children (even those over age 21) financially? I remember paying my daughters’ phone bills until they were about 25 years old. We wanted to make sure they were able to handle their household bills, and we were able to help them, so we did.
What’s interesting is that I met a woman whose husband still relied on his mother to pay his rent. This man was 50 years old. That’s pretty riduculous right? Here is a link to an article that advises us on when to close our checkbooks:
http://www.bankrate.com/finance/personal-finance/cut-financial-cord-on-kids-1.aspx?ec_id=cmct_02_comm_PF_mainlink
Let me know what you think..
MsParentguru
My Pampered Prince Turns 22
What age determines ADULTHOOD?Over the weekend, my son turned 22 years old, and I had mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I realized, I no longer have to caretake him, he’s a man now. Exciting!! However, we’ve had a year of ups and downs while he determines where he wants to go in life. He’s drifting right now, and it’s hard to understand a kid who drifts.
He recently shared that he was still stuck about the divorce of his father and I, and attributed that to his bouts of depression and inactivity. I don’t know about you, but as a mother, I felt responsible for why he was stuck. Crazy!!
Even with our difference in gender, I remember wanting to be my own person in my early twenties, and only communicating with my mother when necessary. I shouldn’t be surprised when I get the same treatment from him. And yet, if he were successfully completing college or had a promising job, I wouldn’t be so concerned for him. For me the hardest part of parenting is patiently waiting for him to be more than he’s settling for. Oh well, I’ll wait.. Ugh, I hate waiting..
Peace,
C Lynn
Teaching School Tolerance
I saw this link on pregnant teen girls and our need to be sure that they are educated in school. Check it out and tell me what you think.
http://www.tolerance.org/blog/support-pregnant-teens-lasts-generations
Submitted by Sarah Sansburyon March 30, 2012
- Keywords:
- Diversity and inclusion
Paulina walked slowly down the hall, her gait marked by the waddle of many pregnant mothers. As she came closer, you could see her belly, slightly swollen. You felt her discomfort as she squeezed into her desk. Five months in, she hadn’t seen a doctor or taken any vitamins. The baby’s father wasn’t in the picture. There were rumors of rape. Her parents had all but disowned her.
What role should the school play in the life of a teenage mom? How can we help?
Of course we don’t advocate teen pregnancy. Pregnancy prevention is the best policy. However, the question is what to do when it happens—because it will happen.
Like all teenagers—no matter their creed, race, gender—young mothers are still students deserving an equal opportunity for education. A school needs to be flexible in making that happen.
Sadly, the fact is teen moms are more likely to drop out than graduate. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, only 50 percent of teen moms get their diploma. Of those who get their high school diploma, only an estimated 2 percent will graduate from college by age 30. It’s not only hard to be a mom while going through school, but that most schools do not offer teen moms the needed support.
In fact, only a few states have specific laws requiring schools to provide special services for teen moms like home-bound studies or in-school programs. Other states, like Kansas, have no laws regarding attendance or alternative programs. Some states“require” helpful programs for teen moms. Others “encourage”them. Some schools do an excellent job of serving pregnant or parenting teens.
A teen mother‘s success seems unfortunately tied to the luck of the draw—the state and district where she attends school. One purpose of public education is to help create capable, contributing citizens—even if they are young moms. A little help now may be all she needs to stay on the path of education.
We need to champion their needs—whether that means speaking to your administration, board of education members, or even state legislators. And, if you have any pregnant students, be flexible and supportive as best you can. It can be as simple as providing a comfortable desk area or, on a larger scale, supplying materials and instruction needed while she recovers during maternity leave.
No matter what our personal philosophy is on teen pregnancy, we need to boost our students’ likelihood for success.
Paulina, a senior, had a baby boy in January. With the support of her teachers and school counselor, she had started taking prenatal vitamins, regularly seeing a doctor and will be participating in a home-bound study program when she’s on maternity leave. She is determined to graduate—for a better future for her and her baby.
Sansbury is a middle and high school teacher in Georgia.
Why Spanking Doesn’t Work – According to a new analysis
Okay I admit it, I grew up in a household where I was spanked! There I said it! I know there are many of you who are strong believers of corporal punishment, as well as those who believe there is another way to parent. To thine own self be true.. I truly believe in moderation, a well placed tap on the rear is sufficient to modify our children’s behavior when necessary. Click on the link and read the article. Let me know your thoughts. I’ll be waiting!
http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/06/why-spanking-doesnt-work/?iid=op-article-mostpop2
My Son The Pampered Prince
I always know when I have to address an issue because I start to lose sleep or the issue begins to occupy my thoughts. Well the white elephant in the room is my son. This son dropped out of an Ivy League school because he wasn’t completing the work. Our house rules for our kids have always been either attend school or get a job (or both). For some reason, he has lived on the very edge of those rules and this weekend things came to a head. The class he attended has ended for the semester and the part-time job he had, ended in November.
Now the rubber is meeting the road because like all of the other adult children in this family, he has to work or attend school or make his way somewhere else. Being a mom, I hate the somewhere else option!
However being a parent of integrity, I felt it necessary to discuss his plans and next steps. Our son was very tight-lipped during the discussion, however we gave him our goals and a deadline (to meet our goals). Loving him as I do, I really hope he finds work or re-enrolls in school.
I’ll keep you posted!
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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