Posts tagged ‘parenting’
5 Steps to Overcoming the Guilt of Missed Milestones
When I was growing up, I never understood why my mom constantly talked to me about what to do if something other than what she planned – happened. I was the oldest, and she expected me to be able to continue to follow through if circumstances interrupted her plans for us. She was very intentional about planning and said it helped her manage her hectic schedule of being a wife, mother and a working woman, as well as ours. 
As a wife, mother and entrepreneur, I realize how important it is to plan for the unexpected, whether it’s a car accident that causes schedules to be delayed or whether it’s a last minute science project and supplies have to be purchased. I also know what’s like to miss an event for my kids and feeling guilty about it. One of the ways I help my clients is to help them work through issues like guilt and keep guilt, stress and overwhelm from making them feel inadequate, overwhelmed or like a failure.
2017 is a great year to lose your guilt. As an entrepreneur, wife and mother, there was nothing that stressed me out like an unexpected event or family emergency. I’ve learned how to move past guilt and I talked about it during my webinar on Tuesday. I shared 5 key steps to managing guilt during my Missed Milestones webinar as part of a plan to help working women and mothers get a better handle on stress and anxiety.
If you missed this free webinar, no worries, the replay is available until Wednesday, March 1st
Click here to watch the replay.
Don’t miss it! Kick the chaos out of your life!
When I mentor my clients about finding their superwoman, I encourage them to determine what is most important in each area of their life: work, family and relationships. Once they’ve sorted out what’s most important, we go to work determining how to remove guilt and those feelings of being overwhelmed by what our family members and work associates think about the decisions we’ve made.
You can have a wonderful relationship with your partner and your children as well as a promising career. If making this happen is really hard for you, text CONSULT to 708.501.7060 for a complimentary discovery session with me.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
Founder, Finding Superwoman™
http://www.clynnwilliams.com
Please Put That Away
I treated myself to lunch today and did what I love most — people watch. As a parent blogger, I find that there’s always a story either at the table next to or across from me in most restaurants. 
There wasn’t a lot going on next to me, so I looked around the room. I like watching people and their children. They make the most interesting stories to share.
I looked across the room and there was the most adorable African American boy staring back at me. He was probably 5 years old. I smiled at him and he waved. Pure love! His mom never looked up from her phone during our brief exchange. Nor did she look up or talk to him except once or twice with an angry look on her face. They were there when I got to my table and stayed about 45 minutes.
Now I’m intrigued because he was basically on his own to amuse himself without a w
ord from his mom. I guess in fairness I could have gone over and asked her if he was her son, but what if she told me to mind my own business? Not a good outcome.
I tried, really tried to mind my own business and starting playing Words with Friends but my curiosity took over and I looked over to see if they were having any interactions or conversations.
Nothing! He’s just a little boy, and I don’t know the history of their relationship. But when we ignore our kids, they either find other people to talk to or they act out for attention. He looked like he needed a hug. I wish I could have given him one. ❤
Kids take a lot of time and sometimes all we want is an hour by ourselves. I can help you figure that time out and relate to your kids. Give me a call. 224-357-6314
C. Lynn Williams
#MsParentguru
Author & Founder of Finding Superwoman
The Good..The Bad..The Ugly
Even though my kids are adults, I’m still an involved mom because I talk with one or all of them daily about the good, the bad, and the ugly in their lives. It’s sort of like being on call. I find that I constantly manage my life and work (marriage too) around theirs. Moms who are reading this know what I’m talking about if this happens to you: You have a perfect plan to complete the chapter for your next book and receive a call from your daughter who needs to talk. Do you tell her – “I’m sorry I have a deadline for this chapter and I’ll have to talk with you later”? Or, do you put on your mother hat, and listen to her talk out the 20th problem that is ruining her life?
Whatever you decide, stress sets in when you allow too many of your children’s problems and concerns to hijack your day, week, or month. It’s difficult to say no to our kids, because we are so used to doing for them. However, since they are used to being cared for by us, it can become a challenge letting them grow into the wonderful, self-sufficient adults that we know they can be. Statistics show that 25% of parents are using their retirement to pay rent or groceries for their millennial children (21 years or older).
For Superwomen like me, here are some ideas on how to achieve less stress when it comes to your children:
- Take a moment to think about your answer and what you are committing to before you commit. For example if your son asks you to pay his car insurance (“Just for this month Mom”). Think about what it does to your budget. If you can afford it. What lessons does it teach him?
- Listen without advising the next time your daughter asks you what should she do about the guy that she’s been dating for five years. (You’re not crazy about him anyway, so keeping your opinions to yourself will be very challenging.)
- Let the call go to voicemail when your child calls you for the 5th time today because she can’t figure something out. I know this is really a tough one because who else will talk her through if not you. Give her some time to build her mental muscle (she is a superwoman in the making) and call her later. You will be surprised to see how she worked out her problem and matured a little more in the process.
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons or Fathers and Daughters.
Click Here to receive my newsletter and notices of my future events.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
The Cost of Anger to Me
Last week as I was driving to a meeting, I signaled to move into the lane to my right. Apparently I was too close to the driver behind me because the 
next thing I knew, he sped ahead of me, changed into my lane and put on his brakes… I said to myself – “I’ve just been a victim of road rage! He probably didn’t think more about it, because he had satisfied that moment of complete rage. But I thought about how our anger, our rage gets the best of us every day.
My hubs tells me I’m on the ‘red train’ when I get really angry. Physiologically, my head hurts and I feel irrational. Imagine what that does to the organs in our bodies like our hearts, our brains, etc. The urban idiom is called ‘pop off’ meaning you lost your cool.
According to Livestrong.com, “Anger is an emotion that is associated with resentment, frustration, irritability and rage. Chinese medicine asserts that this choleric emotion is stored in the liver and gallbladder, which produce and store bile, respectively. This anger can affect many biological processes that sap energy and cause headaches, dizziness and high blood pressure.”¹ According to Lavelle Hendricks, “Before anger affects any part of our body, it has to affect our brain first. When we experience anger, the brain causes the body to release stress hormones, adrenaline and
noradrenaline. These chemicals help the body control the heart rate and blood pressure.”²
Just think about how many people you know who have experienced heart attacks or aneurysms. I’m thinking about how my anger affects not only me, but also my kids and my husband. As a mom, I like being in control – to understand where everything is, my role, and how it affects my family. But, there are so many things that are outside of my control. Like someone bumping into to me on the street, or driving too close, or your kid having a bad day and saying something disrespectful. For our own sanity and the sake of our bodies, we have to let things go and move on without anger or self-recrimination. Hey…don’t lose your cool…
[1] http://www.livestrong.com/article/193234-what-emotions-affect-different-organs-in-the-human-body/
[2]http://www.nationalforum.com/Electronic%20Journal%20Volumes/Hendricks,%20LaVelle%20The%20Effects%20of%20Anger%20on%20the%20Brain%20and%20Body%20NFJCA%20V2%20N1%202013.pdf
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers & Daughters, Mothers and their Sons or Finding Superwoman™ for Overworked Moms.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
Want more Romance ♥ in your life? Register for my Nov 1st webinar: How To Put Romance Back Into Your Schedule
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Speaker & Author
www.clynnwilliams.com
The Divorced Kid Shuffle (reprint)
This article by Tiffany Beverlin so resonated with me as I tried to maintain a relationship with my kids and their father during and after our divorce.
– C. Lynn Williams 
www.clynnwilliams.com
I am writing this blog while having just distributed, varies suitcases, and bags to each of my children to start packing for spring break, like all holidays for most children of divorced parents, my children are expert packers and spend their lives going back and forth between my home and their fathers. It’s still the part of divorce that bothers me the most, when the children started to have to go on back and forth between us, I would have hard time holding it together long enough to pack their little cases and kiss them good bye then to watch them walk down the drive with their bags in tow before I would cir-cum to tears. Fast forward 3 years, it still bothers me, they trek their instruments, their bags, science projects they even take their tortoise and chameleon back and forth, kissing them good bye still has a bitter sweet feel, but my attitude to it has changed. Click on the link below to read more…
3 Ways to Avoid Cincinnati Zoo Parenting
I normally try to avoid the nightly news, because it’s always so sensational and it seems that each 
network tries to outdo the other network with the worst possible things that humans are doing to each other. My ears pricked up last night when the news reported that a four year old boy crawled/fell through the barriers at the Cincinnati Zoo, was dragged by the gorilla (probably a mother) and rescued by zoo officials after the gorilla was killed.
I felt outraged! How in the world did he get through the barriers? WHERE WAS HIS MOTHER when this happened?
Okay moms before you yell that boys are quicker than the blinking eye – I completely agree. My own son was three when I noticed him smiling (like he just got into something) and running from my bathroom. I caught him and got a whiff of what smelled like fingernail polish remover. My question to myself was how did he get away from me that quickly – it seemed like seconds! But it only takes seconds for your kid to get away from you and unfortunately in this case, he’s slid into the gorilla habitat with Harambe, an endangered and well-loved gorilla.
She was on her phone… Doggone it! Being on your phone with any four year old is dangerous – boy or girl. It only takes a minute for them to get into something. Our phones can take our attention away so quickly that minutes go by like seconds. She probably thought – “who just texted me”. The next thing she knew, her son was gone. She is really lucky that her son is alive. Having raised one son from birth, and another as a bonus, I know boys. They are wonderful but do unexpected things a lot!
Here are three (3) things to remember when raising boys:
- Pay attention at all times especially once he starts crawling through his 6th birthday
- Believe that he can reach anything he sets his mind to – he has No Fear
- They will tell you whatever you want to hear – meaning he won’t always be truthful
Interested in learning more about what makes your son tick? Pick up a copy of my book – The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son. Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for aging parents, Mothers and Daughters or Mothers and Sons. Email me at: info@clynnwilliams.com
C. Lynn Williams – #MsParentguru
Author, Coach & Family Dynamics Specialist
Teaching Millennial Young Women…OMG
I have been absent from this blog for the last month. Hard to believe, but it’s true and I apologize to those of you who look forward to my weekly posts. I have a good excuse though; I’ve been teaching a group of young ladies that have given me a run for my money. Call them young female millennials.
These young women are outspoken, opinionated, oppositional and hard to love. Many of them have dysfunctional relationships with their mothers – they have said “I hate my mom”, don’t respond well to rules and have very short attention spans.
I took it personally at first and couldn’t understand why I was dealing with this type of student. Then I realized that many of you have these young girls or women in your home. These are your daughters and they are not easy to parent or get close to. There are many reasons explaining why our daughters appear distant from us. It could be the fast pace of social media; how women and girls are portrayed in the media, or the inattention that they receive at home from us their mothers and fathers when we’re busy.
I know we have to change our mindset in order to reach this generation. They love technology. That means we can’t hate technology and expect to stay in touch with our girls. Whether it’s through texting, emailing, Face-timing or Facebook messages, talk to your girls and let them know you love them and are there for them.
While the attitudes of these students were enough to make me think about retiring early; I realized that I was being given an opportunity to do what I love to do – get close and share my love with this millennial generation – your daughters. There are all kinds of things going on in their young lives. Some good; some not so good. They just need to know that someone really cares and is listening. No matter what type of outward attitude they give off.
Keep the lines of communication open Moms…your daughters really are listening.
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for millennial daughters, aging parents, or mothers and sons.
Email me at: info@clynnwilliams.com
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author, Coach & Family Dynamics Specialist
www.clynnwilliams.com
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)
NEW: Yours & Mine: A Winning Blended Family Formula (220 Publishing, 2015)
Parent Goodies – Video Blog (Letting Kids Make Mistakes)
We are told that making mistakes helps us grow.
As parents, it’s hard to let our kids make mistakes. 
Click here to view: https://youtu.be/QK09flTHbyw
Enjoy!
Ms. Parent Guru
I Will Always Love You… Bobbi Kristina
Reprinted from Black Woman Unleashed magazine Feb 4, 2015
Imagine your child is helpless. She can’t do anything for herself. You have to do everything. As her mother, wouldn’t you do anything necessary to make sure she is okay? Of course you would.
Imagine that situation reversed. Your child has grown up watching you, cause that’s what our kids do. They don’t judge whether what we do is good or bad, it just is. So imagine for a minute, that you are Whitney Houston’s daughter Bobbi Kristina. She’s had a front row seat to the ups and downs of her parents’ life.
Three years ago her enigmatic, famous mother was found in a bathtub. While we hope that our children mirror us in positive ways. They will also follow us into the den of Hell. That’s how much they love us. Come back beautiful angel. Our prayers are with you Bobbi Kristina Brown and your family.
#PrayforBK
If you want to continue this discussion about protecting our #daughters, sign up for my Parenting Newsletter. Want to ask questions or dialogue with me about how tough adult issues affect our families; reach out to me on Twitter @MsParentguru or on my Facebook fan page www.Facebook.com/CGWWBooks. #parenting
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Generational Development Specialist
www.clynnwilliams.com
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)
What’s the Benefit of Parenting Classes?
Parenting wаѕ а process that one took up naturally without any trace of self-doubt; thоѕе good 
old days are virtually passé. Aѕ humans, we are blessed with а lifelong sense of nurturing, and it іѕ thіѕ trait that sets uѕ араrt frоm thе оthеr species thаt constitute thе animal kingdom. Thе progress іn time brought аbоut а definitive change іn оur lifestyle, whісh аlѕо called fоr а change іn оur outlook towards parenting.
Previously, parenting wаѕ always thought оf аѕ instinct thаt уоu wеrе born wіth, аnd уоu simply hаd tо hone іt. Thе adage thаt ‘parents know best‘ wаѕ ѕоmеthіng wе always took fоr granted. Preparing fоr parenthood wаѕ а completely alien concept, bесаuѕе wе totally lеt nature decide thе course оf оur behavior аѕ parents-tо-bе. Nоt thаt іt wаѕ wrong іn аnу way, but thе advent оf prenatal classes changed аll thаt. 
Originally aimed аt young оr single mothers, prenatal classes spearheaded thе change іn thе mindsets оf many traditionalists whо frowned оn thе concept оf training а mother tо bе а mother. Fоr young parents, hоwеvеr, prenatal classes wеrе а godsend. Parenting classes today аrе no longer limited tо new parents. Yоu have classes thаt help уоu deal wіth а wide spectrum оf parental issues like anger management, looking after children wіth special needs, dealing wіth bullying оr abuse; thеrе аrе sessions thаt deal specifically wіth raising teens, аnd frankly, thеrе іѕn’t а parent whо wоuld refuse help whеn іt comes tо interacting wіth teenagers.
What do Parenting Classes Teach?
Thе benefits оf parenting classes аrе many, but thе best thing аbоut taking one іѕ thе amount оf confidence іt instills іn уоu. Yоu аrе better equipped tо deal wіth different challenges thаt parenthood throws аt уоu.
Thеrе іѕ а fine line bеtwееn being authoritative аnd autocratic. Aѕ parents, іt often appears blurred. Thіѕ іѕ one оf thе main reasons thаt cause differences. Professional advice іn ѕuсh cases often proves helpful.
“Am I а Bad Parent?”
Cеrtаіnlу nоt. On thе contrary, good parents аrе thоѕе whо accept thеіr mistakes, аnd reach оut fоr help whеn thеу find thеmѕеlvеѕ falling short. Thеу аrе аlѕо іn touch wіth reality, having dispelled аll illusions оf being thе ‘perfect parent’.
To be continued next week…
Interested in learning more about parent mentoring? Contact Ms. Parent Guru by email to receive information on her upcoming parent mentoring program for Mothers and Daughters. Email her at: info@clynnwilliams.com
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Generational Development Strategist
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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