Parenting: Good cop Bad cop!

July 28, 2017 at 5:27 pm Leave a comment

I was listening to a commercial and the mother was saying she didn't understand why the kids never listen to her, and then the father yells "who wants ice cream?"

Is that how parenting goes in your household? One of you sets the guidelines or rules, and the other has fun with the kids!?

In a household with two parents, there is generally one parent who tends to be the disciplinarian, and the other one who the kids go to because that parent usually says yes. When that happens doesn't it feel like good cop bad cop?

I remember feeling like the bad cop, because I consistently enforced our rules. My ex was more flexible than I was, and was known to change his mind and agree with the kids! 😡 We had to talk privately to make sure that we agreed, so that the good cop bad cop episodes didn't happen a lot!

As a single divorced mom I had to balance being the bad and good cop. I never really thought about it that way until during one of family talks, the kids explained that their dad listened more than I did and was 'nicer'. 😟 While I wasn't trying to win the Nice Parent award, I wanted my children to be comfortable and talk easily around me. I've written about this dynamic in my Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen book.

It's a little easier if you think of it as there are times when you like your kids to follow your rules and behave a certain way, and then there are also times when you want to concentrate on having fun: The having fun part is challenging for you if you are a strict disciplinarian. It may be a little difficult in the beginning relaxing your rules a bit, but you'll get used to it. Your kids will enjoy your flexibility too.

Here's one example of a good cop parenting scenario: Instead of having your dinner in the traditional way – meat, potatoes, salad and vegetables. Eat the dessert first! Make a big deal about it too, so your kids understand that you're making an exception. It's fun and a great conversation starter.

If your delightful child is moving into moody preteenville, pick up a copy of my book – Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen and read about how to navigate the impending hormones. Purchase Here

C. Lynn Williams #MsParentguru

Entry filed under: Parenting.

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