Posts filed under ‘Parenting’

I Heard Family…

family

Last week I watched the Democratic National Convention and Vice-President candidate Kamala Harris (D) spoke about how much she admired her mother and grandmother. She talked about kids going back to school whether in person or remotely and how important going to school was. She also talked about how challenging it is for parents and teachers during this time. There are so many questions to answer like what happens if I send my child to school and she gets the virus? Or what happens when I begin teaching my face-2-face classes and I catch the virus? As we head into the fall 2020 school year, these are questions that parents and teachers have. 

Everytime Senator Harris spoke I heard family. The importance of family! Mothers! Fathers! Grandmothers! In many households, parents have chosen to homeschool. In other households, the parents have to leave home and their children are either going to school, or sitting in front of a computer screen and learning virtually. No matter which story is ours, we are concerned with keeping our children (and ourselves) safe from coronavirus.

When Senator Harris spoke of her mother, it reminded me of how much my mother supported me throughout my high school, college, grad school career.

Her support meant everything to me, even though (at times) I felt that she was overbearing and too

my mom

strict. When I didn’t understand a school topic, if she couldn’t explain it, she found someone that could. With her guidance, my dad’s, aunts, uncles and grandparents, I am here today able to talk with you about the importance of family support.

As Senator Harris said, getting ready this school year is challenging whether you are the parent or the teacher. But what I know is that our children are counting on us to learn and thrive. We can give them that whether we are college grads or high school dropouts. We may not have all (or even some) of the answers, but let’s start with the three points listed below.

Commit to these things:

  • Your commitment to helping your child get online daily
  • Asking your child questions to help him think critically
  • Taking time to have fun. Play with your child and learn from him/her
  • Be a good listener
  • Be willing to learn new things

Know that this is an usual time, so have lots of teachable moments, fun, and learning something new times! Be patient with yourself, your situation and your children. Make memories that your children will talk about when they grow up. 

 

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

August 28, 2020 at 6:08 pm Leave a comment

Getting Prepared for The School Year

It’s now August and that means school is starting in a few weeks. As a part-time professor, that means getting my courses ready, putting my lectures and discussion topics together and getting prepared.

School year starting

That’s the normal part…

The abnormal, crazy thing is that we have to figure out how to get our kids educated during this COVID-19 pandemic! Teach but stay safe! Educate so that your kids learn properly whether online or face-to-face.

Online learning

There are so many questions that need to be answered??

• How do you feel about sending your child back to school?

• What is your school district offering – Online learning or face-to-face?

• Is your child learning effectively in a remote (virtual) environment?

• How do I help my special needs child learn if they are not engaging online?

Alright that’s the unknown and the unknown is scary. Instead let’s focus on what we know and can control:

• Most school districts are offering learning alternatives – remote (online) for younger grades and face-to-face for high school seniors.

• Ask questions of your school administrators to find out how the school year will be conducted.

• If your child didn’t engage well with the online classes, think about why and what you can do at home to supplement their learning.

As my mom used to say, “this too shall pass.” As you and your family work through the challenges related to this pandemic, remember:

1. Stay calm

2. Practice parent self-care (take care of yourself)

3. Make time to listen to your children

4. Be willing to learn what your child already knows

5. Maintain (or implement) routines

Great advice from Minnesota Department of Health and MsParentguru.

https://www.health.state.mn.us/communities/mentalhealth/children

Remaining calm and positive is important for you and your child. To them the pandemic is an adventure. If they’re a tween or teen, then the pandemic is an annoyance! Turn it into learning opportunities where you discover stuff about each other.

Have as much fun together as possible. 🙂

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

clynnwilliams.com

August 5, 2020 at 3:10 pm Leave a comment

Shifting Your Mood Helps

Today I hit a brick wall and my morning wasn’t as sunny as it usually is when I wake up. Meh 😒

A couple of my projects had flopped this week and I had taken on too many assignments that were all due at the same time. Some of my project results weren’t spectacular (which is what I expect) and I felt blah. 😕

As I sat quietly and expectantly, I listened to the very wise person that lives inside of me – my Spirit.

I tell myself that I’m a good person, God loves me, and I love me. Those words help loosen any feelings of defeat or sadness that had caused this ‘Wednesday Blues’.

I read today’s scripture from my bible app (a few times) and my mood starts to shift… I’m feeling… better… If this has happened to you, how do handle these unwelcome feelings?

Here are eight ways to shift yourself out of a Bad Mood:

1. Be Here Now. Focus on the present moment. …

2. Be Silly. …

3. Practice “Pivoting” …

4. Take a Walk. …

5. Lend a Hand. …

6. Laugh More. …

7. This, Too, Shall Pass. …

8. Indulge Yourself.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/8-ways-to-shift-a-bad-mood-and-feel-better-fast_b_8201180/amp

Taking time for yourself is monumental to staying sane – during the best of times, but especially during the COVID-19 quarantine that we find ourselves experiencing.

Our family relies on us to stay balanced, happy and upbeat (fun). There is nothing fun about feeling ‘blue’ or depressed. Stay encouraged.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

clynnwilliams.com

July 15, 2020 at 7:00 am Leave a comment

The Point of Differences

In families there are lots of differences. Differences include size, eye color, skin color, gender, personality, likeability. As we know, some of those differences are easier to relate to than others. We tend to gravitate to people who are more like us than those who are different. Think about that child of yours who is harder to relate to or even love, because they think differently than you.

Difference in a sea of sameness

When my children were young, they always wanted to know ‘which one of them was my favorite?‘ ‘Who did I love the best?‘ I used to tell them that I didn’t have a favorite (child) because I believed there was no room for favorite children. I did not want to raise a child with whom I created self-esteem issues because of establishing favorites. 😁 As far as I was concerned, I loved them equally, even if for different reasons.

I believe that’s the task that we are facing as a race of people right now, especially in the United States. Somehow, people feel that differences – the very things that make you unique; also make you inferior. It’s hard to teach a child, that skin color, gender and religion don’t matter, if those differences are being used to create division and discrimination.

It doesn’t matter if my skin is darker or lighter than yours, or if my gender is male, female or non binary, or if I’m a Muslim and my neighbor is a Christian. We matter because we are humans –1st and citizens of our respective countries 2nd. Let’s be each other’s keepers, and support each other’s struggles.

Together we are successful.

Operating separately is lonely and takes longer. We ALL Matter!

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

June 15, 2020 at 3:50 pm Leave a comment

Who I Am Matters To Me

In my devotional time this morning, I was reading about Job and how God saw him as blameless and faithful, yet allowed Satan to ravage his life by causing mayhem.

What stuck out most to me was not that God would offer Job up as a sacrifice, but the comments that Job’s friends made about his situation. The assumptions they made…

The biggest mistake that Job’s friends and wife made was that they assumed he did something wrong to have all hell break loose in his pretty perfect life.

How many of us feel the same way? Before this pandemic, things were pretty amazing for me… Then the pandemic started…

Periodically through this quarantine, friends and family members have lost their jobs, their businesses or friends and family have died. Some of those friends have had multiple deaths occur and others have lost their inspiration and fallen into deep depression. Some have lost children to suicide.

So today I thought about who I am:

• As a wife

• As a mother

• As a family member

• As a friend

• As a business owner

I’ve checked myself to see how I am showing up – to myself and others. Have I decided like Job’s friends that those who are losing their livelihood or their lives, did something wrong? Or am I offering the best support I can by being a good listener without judging? 🤔

#Wednesdaythoughts #loveyourself

Are you a mom who no longer recognizes the woman you’ve become? Are you ready to make some changes?

Let’s talk: calendly.com/clynn/intro

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

May 31, 2020 at 8:00 am Leave a comment

Now That I have Time to Think

One of the benefits of COVID-19 is the time that I am taking to motivate myself.
#selfcare #morningroutine

Continue Reading May 13, 2020 at 12:48 pm Leave a comment

The Importance of Self-Care During a Pandemic…and Beyond

Guest blog by Kristen Fescoe, Resility Health

As we find ourselves living an uncertain and challenging time, self-care has never been so important. Before the outbreak of COVID-19, self-care was something many of us pushed to the back burner. There would always be time for it tomorrow. For most, tomorrow never came. Now, as we are being asked to slow down and change the way we live, it seems that tomorrow may be today.

There are plenty of benefits to creating a self-care routine. Feeling better about yourself, living a more present life and focusing on your own goals are all important examples. Self-care is one of the best ways to stave off the physical and emotional impact of stress and worry.

When you experience a stressor in your life, big or small, your brain and body react with the fight or flight reflex. Your brain releases chemical messengers into your bloodstream. Your pulse and blood pressure quicken. While this is great if there is a real threat to you, it can be damaging to your mental and physical health if you experience it for an extended period of time.

This is where self-care plays an important role. By taking a little time every day to focus on your emotional well-being, you can start to change the way you react to stress. No matter how badly we would like to, it’s really hard to eliminate stress from our lives. Especially now, during this difficult time. Stress is a constant in most of our lives.

What we can change is the way we react to stress.

Daily self-care is a mechanism to do this. Let’s say you decide that 3 times a day you will perform a self-check-in. So each morning, afternoon and evening you will spend 2-3 minutes checking in with yourself and thinking about how you feel both physically and emotionally.

During these few minutes, you will think about any pain or discomfort you have, anything that has been silently nagging at your attention, anything that might be impacting your mood. By just taking notice of it you actually can start to change how you react to it. If you were to do this every day for 3-4 weeks you will quickly find that you become much more aware of when your body is reacting to stress and you will even start to reduce your body’s automatic stress response.

There has never been a better time to begin a self-care regimen. Stress is at an all-time high. People are dealing with everything from loss of loved ones to extreme loneliness and even the exacerbation of psychological disorders. Life isn’t easy. Since you can’t do anything to remove stress from your life, there is something you can do to change its impact on you.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com


May 6, 2020 at 8:27 pm Leave a comment

It Is Okay to Feel What You’re Feeling

We’ve been quarantined for 7 weeks now. It’s okay to express what you’re feeling.

Continue Reading May 1, 2020 at 12:25 pm Leave a comment

Why I Do What I Do

I never really understood what my mother went through with me as a strong-willed daughter until I had my own children. After the childhood I had, I never wanted kids of my own. Kids were worrisome, needy and a pain in the neck! And they were yours forever! No I didn’t want children of my own. However after 3 -4 years into my first marriage, I knew I wanted somebody that looked like me. Sound selfish? Yes I’ll admit it was probably selfish. It didn’t help that my parents and my in-laws were constantly asking – “WHEN ARE YOU HAVING KIDS?”

So my parenting journey began. From the beginning I believed that children were little adults with opinions and thoughts of their own. As idealistic as that sounds, I always wanted to give my kids an opportunity to speak openly and honestly. My parenting ideas were not well-received by my mom and her generation, because children were seen and not heard when she was a child. An out-spoken kid was considered a disrespectful one. As a mom, I was more concerned with raising leaders and critical thinkers, not followers.

While my parenting journey began in the middle ‘80s, my career as an author began a decade later. A painful divorce and family relocation left me with co-parenting responsibilities as well as the challenge of parenting with adults who had entirely different philosophies of what being a parent meant. I was an old school parent with 21st century parenting ideas. Basically, I believed in eating dinners together, kids that obeyed, and bed times with technology turned off. I also encouraged my kids to talk because I wanted to hear what they were thinking and that they had a right to be heard. It’s hard to run a company or manage a city, if you’ve never been taught to think on your own.

This time of COVID-19 quarantine is a challenging time for many reasons. Men and women are working from home and parenting from home. For some parents, that’s a new skill-set that you are building. Normally you spend 5-6 hours per day with your children. With the quarantine in place, you’re spending 24 hours per day with your children AND you’re trying to work coronavirusfrom home. How’s that working? Not so bad, if your child is school age and can work on his or her own. You can put together a family plan that gives your child time to complete school work, family time together and mom/dad work time.

If your child is under five years of age, your parenting skills are getting a great workout. Your day is structured to include lots of interactivity with your child, nap time and consistent meal times. I know work is important, because that’s how you support your family. However, if I had to choose between working or spending time with kids, I’d say make the time with your child first. Build memories that your son or daughter will talk about for the rest of their life. Have as much fun and meaningful time as possible. If your job requires daily online meetings, work around that work meetings and do something physical with your children every day.

So why do I do what I do as a parent? I do what I do, because my children are part of the next generation and I care about their success as humans.
Stay safe and healthy!

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

April 10, 2020 at 7:00 pm Leave a comment

Chickenpox Vs Coronavirus

If you’ve ever had a child with chickenpox, you know how important it is to stay in the house and how miserable your child who has the chickenpox is. Chickenpox is highly contagious. You’re usually feverish and very itchy, and like the coronavirus, you are quarantined to stay inside until you’re healed.

Coronavirus reminds me of the chickenpox, because you feel terrible if you catch it, and it’s contagious! The huge difference is that some people are dying because of the coronavirus, and that’s pretty scary. So stay inside and keep a social distance from everyone… well except your family.

As a parent, I think about all the opportunities that this quarantine is offering me:

  • I get to spend more time with my family and my husband (actually as empty-nesters, my husband and I get to spend a lot of time with each other)
  • I get to make memories that I’m otherwise too busy to make
  • Limited take-out – we eat more often as a family

As an adult, I can:

  • Stay up late
  • I can binge watch TV programs I never have time to watch
  • Read books I have promised I would read, as soon as I get time

You get the idea… These are benefits of this quarantine. If you are an Entrepreneur, you’re still busy trying to figure out how to stay connected with your customers or clients. You may have to change how you do business because you are now forced to communicate with people online, by social media, by phone. I know these are new challenges for me. However as a mom, I stay in touch with my children daily, and I think about how to stay engaged with them, even though we are miles apart. If we were together what board or card game would we be playing or what movie would we watch together? My kids loved board games and we would play Monopoly, Life, Uno or Phase 10. We also enjoyed cooking and eating together and then sitting around the table and talking to each other.

teens

QuaranTeened

For those of you with teens, the biggest challenge is probably for your teenagers who are very social and used to talking to their friends instead of you. They would rather stay in their room and talk on the phone or talk to their friends on Snapchat or Instagram. This quarantine is a great opportunity to open those communication channels between the two of you and start talking. Ask their opinion on the coronavirus quarantine. It might be a little awkward, getting the conversations started. It’s okay, keep talking and finding topics that they will talk about with you.

  • Cook together
  • Depending where you live, ride bikes together
  • Watch movies
  • Have fun and enjoy each other.

I believe this time is really designed for us to get closer to the people that we love or at least learn how to love them.

In-House Spouse

Probably the next biggest challenge is how to play nice with your spouse when you are both working from home. It’s easy to forget what attracted you to each other, if you are cooped up, raising kids, working from home or trying to figure out how to pay your bills, because one of you have lost your income due to the quarantine.

The challenge is to do something fun daily together. Bring up wonderful memories from the past. Binge watch programs together. Show interest in something that your spouse or partner is interested in.

Oh, and switch up the chores with your kiddos, so that Mom (or Dad) don’t get burned out. Tweens and teens can cook and clean too!

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

March 26, 2020 at 3:30 pm 1 comment

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