Posts filed under ‘Parenting’

Getting There From Here Is A Daily Journey

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

I wonder what kind of parent I would have been, had I had as many digital devices and distractions as there are now.

There are so many distractions out here for adults, children and everyone in between. You can watch self-help videos, participate in online parties, exercise classes, and binge watch just about anything. There’s never a dull moment! My grandma would call it overstimulation.

When my kids were teens, I was dating someone and had started using emails to stay connected. It was pretty addictive, especially since I had only used emails for work projects. Had there been Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest or Instagram, I probably would’ve been on my phone a lot! Too much!

It would have been a lot harder to maintain my focus as a parent. So how do we maintain focus as parents?

I think the thing that really saved me every time I got even a little distracted as a parent, was thinking back on how consistent my mother was with raising my brother, sister and I. She and my dad worked as a team when they were together and we had daily routines, daily chores and expectations of us.

Photo by August de Richelieu on Pexels.com

More importantly my parents had expectations of themselves. Sure they hosted parties, went out with friends, but their main job was raising us. From my perspective as a kid, parenting looked pretty boring. Thinking about that job of being a parent; made me think a long time before I decided to become one.

As a parent coach, parent and educator, I have concerns about how remote learning is going. There’s no question that we have to do it. We have to educate our children during this pandemic! But how do we do it successfully? 🤔

How real is remote learning for kids who already spend lots of time on computers watching videos and playing games? Is it easy to make the transition to learning?

How do parents help their child see the remote learning as a way to grow, learn, and understand new concepts? It’s not enough to say “Go sit over there and learn your lessons!” That’s probably not the best way to implement remote learning.

Here are three recommendations:

  • Reinforce the concepts your child is learning every day.
  • Continue the learning process by making it fun during breakfast, lunch or dinner time
  • Set up daily routines that help you and your child stay organized

Having a place in your home where your child attends school, with his or her supplies is crucial. Allowing them to do their homework (themselves) is also crucial. Not unless you want to take care of them for the rest of your life 🤷🏽‍♀️

Some days are better than others and there are no hard and fast solutions.

Self care tips:

  • Make time for yourself
  • Be kind to your mental health and unplug your electronics for an hour.
  • Take a nap 😴 Make your kids take a nap too.
  • Take a walk outside.
  • Ask for help when you need it.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

clynnwilliams.com

November 4, 2020 at 6:33 am Leave a comment

Care Enough To Join Me

We had an event in my community yesterday and it had been a culmination of twice weekly activities over a six week period, that included young people from elementary through high school as well as adults.

We had a pretty decent turnout, with most parents attending with their child. The odd thing was that the parents of one of our teens did not attend. She said they were home cleaning house 🧼 🧽. I was really bummed out, for her. She had had some rough times during our weekly meetings with family issues but during the entire time, we never met her parents. 👁👁

It took me back to the days when my children were younger. We tried to attend everything they were involved in. Of course that wasn’t possible, but we tried. And maybe this was true for my teen’s parents. Maybe they attend every other event and just couldn’t with this one. Watching her during our project meetings I got a different impression. To me she felt lonely and alone.

So this is what I want to say to her parents: It is important to show up in your kid’s life as often as you can. Doesn’t matter if they are 5, 15 or 25 years old. Our kids love our support! Yes it’s easy to show up for the large events like graduations and milestone birthdays. But sometimes we have to be parents no matter how busy our days are and be available! That means we play games with our kids, we go for walks (yea put down the headphones, game controllers and phones) 😁

As the parental unit (one of my daughter’s favorite phrases), our kids won’t remember that we were trying to make a living and had to put food on the table that’s not the first thing that they will remember about us. What they may remember is that we sat on the stairs and talked with them about what the 2020 election means; they’ll remember that we drove to the lakefront and watched the sunset; that we talked into the night about good and bad decisions, that we watch their favorite Disney movie 10 times… in a row. They will remember playing Monopoly with you and how many properties you bought!

Your child will remember the times you spent doing stuff together!

I feel bad because my teen friend looks and feels lonely. It doesn’t feel like she has a good support system and I hope she has a stronger one in the future.

Oh and parents… try to be more mindful of the time your child really needs with you.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

clynnwilliams.com

October 10, 2020 at 6:51 pm Leave a comment

Has Human Companionship Disappeared

Human companionship isn’t working well these days is it?

It’s gotta be the pandemic’s fault!

Maybe it’s all of the togetherness that we are experiencing as a result of sheltering in place. Snuggling up, spooning, boo’ed up is not as much fun, when you’re in the house 24/7 and so is your sweetie (with you). Basically you start to get tired… of each other.

There I said it!

Now, clearly I’m talking to just a few of you… the honest ones. I know it’s not the end of the world, but it’s scary because you’re admitting that the one person that you pledged to be with FOREVER… isn’t enough to keep you going during this pandemic crisis. And for my single friends, it’s really scary, because how do you date (responsibly) during a viral scare when you have no idea where that delightful person who looks great online, has been.

I had a long talk with God yesterday and decided (remembered), that our mates, spouses, boyfriends/girlfriends, partners are human companions. They are not designed to please us indefinitely. Matter of fact, they are probably wondering why they feel so… blah (with you)? I’m not saying that the thrill is gone, nor am I saying it’s time to look for a new mate. It’s just that we are on a journey, and part of that journey is physical (relationships) and the rest is spiritual. The spiritual journey helps you build inner resources to realize that a human will never be enough (forever). God is the only forever relationship.

So forgive your partner if he or she wears the same shirt for an entire week. They’re doing the best they can. Same with you. Be real. Make jokes. Have fun. Be thankful for what you have.

Build up your spiritual relationship with your source. I call my source… God. Take time away from your kids, your partner, your phone, your Zoom calls and get quiet. You will be surprised at how peaceful life really is. And how much better you feel.

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring relationship-building programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters, Fathers and their Sons or Mothers and themselves.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

September 23, 2020 at 1:18 pm Leave a comment

I Heard Family…

family

Last week I watched the Democratic National Convention and Vice-President candidate Kamala Harris (D) spoke about how much she admired her mother and grandmother. She talked about kids going back to school whether in person or remotely and how important going to school was. She also talked about how challenging it is for parents and teachers during this time. There are so many questions to answer like what happens if I send my child to school and she gets the virus? Or what happens when I begin teaching my face-2-face classes and I catch the virus? As we head into the fall 2020 school year, these are questions that parents and teachers have. 

Everytime Senator Harris spoke I heard family. The importance of family! Mothers! Fathers! Grandmothers! In many households, parents have chosen to homeschool. In other households, the parents have to leave home and their children are either going to school, or sitting in front of a computer screen and learning virtually. No matter which story is ours, we are concerned with keeping our children (and ourselves) safe from coronavirus.

When Senator Harris spoke of her mother, it reminded me of how much my mother supported me throughout my high school, college, grad school career.

Her support meant everything to me, even though (at times) I felt that she was overbearing and too

my mom

strict. When I didn’t understand a school topic, if she couldn’t explain it, she found someone that could. With her guidance, my dad’s, aunts, uncles and grandparents, I am here today able to talk with you about the importance of family support.

As Senator Harris said, getting ready this school year is challenging whether you are the parent or the teacher. But what I know is that our children are counting on us to learn and thrive. We can give them that whether we are college grads or high school dropouts. We may not have all (or even some) of the answers, but let’s start with the three points listed below.

Commit to these things:

  • Your commitment to helping your child get online daily
  • Asking your child questions to help him think critically
  • Taking time to have fun. Play with your child and learn from him/her
  • Be a good listener
  • Be willing to learn new things

Know that this is an usual time, so have lots of teachable moments, fun, and learning something new times! Be patient with yourself, your situation and your children. Make memories that your children will talk about when they grow up. 

 

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

August 28, 2020 at 6:08 pm Leave a comment

Getting Prepared for The School Year

It’s now August and that means school is starting in a few weeks. As a part-time professor, that means getting my courses ready, putting my lectures and discussion topics together and getting prepared.

School year starting

That’s the normal part…

The abnormal, crazy thing is that we have to figure out how to get our kids educated during this COVID-19 pandemic! Teach but stay safe! Educate so that your kids learn properly whether online or face-to-face.

Online learning

There are so many questions that need to be answered??

• How do you feel about sending your child back to school?

• What is your school district offering – Online learning or face-to-face?

• Is your child learning effectively in a remote (virtual) environment?

• How do I help my special needs child learn if they are not engaging online?

Alright that’s the unknown and the unknown is scary. Instead let’s focus on what we know and can control:

• Most school districts are offering learning alternatives – remote (online) for younger grades and face-to-face for high school seniors.

• Ask questions of your school administrators to find out how the school year will be conducted.

• If your child didn’t engage well with the online classes, think about why and what you can do at home to supplement their learning.

As my mom used to say, “this too shall pass.” As you and your family work through the challenges related to this pandemic, remember:

1. Stay calm

2. Practice parent self-care (take care of yourself)

3. Make time to listen to your children

4. Be willing to learn what your child already knows

5. Maintain (or implement) routines

Great advice from Minnesota Department of Health and MsParentguru.

https://www.health.state.mn.us/communities/mentalhealth/children

Remaining calm and positive is important for you and your child. To them the pandemic is an adventure. If they’re a tween or teen, then the pandemic is an annoyance! Turn it into learning opportunities where you discover stuff about each other.

Have as much fun together as possible. 🙂

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

clynnwilliams.com

August 5, 2020 at 3:10 pm Leave a comment

Shifting Your Mood Helps

Today I hit a brick wall and my morning wasn’t as sunny as it usually is when I wake up. Meh 😒

A couple of my projects had flopped this week and I had taken on too many assignments that were all due at the same time. Some of my project results weren’t spectacular (which is what I expect) and I felt blah. 😕

As I sat quietly and expectantly, I listened to the very wise person that lives inside of me – my Spirit.

I tell myself that I’m a good person, God loves me, and I love me. Those words help loosen any feelings of defeat or sadness that had caused this ‘Wednesday Blues’.

I read today’s scripture from my bible app (a few times) and my mood starts to shift… I’m feeling… better… If this has happened to you, how do handle these unwelcome feelings?

Here are eight ways to shift yourself out of a Bad Mood:

1. Be Here Now. Focus on the present moment. …

2. Be Silly. …

3. Practice “Pivoting” …

4. Take a Walk. …

5. Lend a Hand. …

6. Laugh More. …

7. This, Too, Shall Pass. …

8. Indulge Yourself.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/8-ways-to-shift-a-bad-mood-and-feel-better-fast_b_8201180/amp

Taking time for yourself is monumental to staying sane – during the best of times, but especially during the COVID-19 quarantine that we find ourselves experiencing.

Our family relies on us to stay balanced, happy and upbeat (fun). There is nothing fun about feeling ‘blue’ or depressed. Stay encouraged.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

clynnwilliams.com

July 15, 2020 at 7:00 am Leave a comment

The Point of Differences

In families there are lots of differences. Differences include size, eye color, skin color, gender, personality, likeability. As we know, some of those differences are easier to relate to than others. We tend to gravitate to people who are more like us than those who are different. Think about that child of yours who is harder to relate to or even love, because they think differently than you.

Difference in a sea of sameness

When my children were young, they always wanted to know ‘which one of them was my favorite?‘ ‘Who did I love the best?‘ I used to tell them that I didn’t have a favorite (child) because I believed there was no room for favorite children. I did not want to raise a child with whom I created self-esteem issues because of establishing favorites. 😁 As far as I was concerned, I loved them equally, even if for different reasons.

I believe that’s the task that we are facing as a race of people right now, especially in the United States. Somehow, people feel that differences – the very things that make you unique; also make you inferior. It’s hard to teach a child, that skin color, gender and religion don’t matter, if those differences are being used to create division and discrimination.

It doesn’t matter if my skin is darker or lighter than yours, or if my gender is male, female or non binary, or if I’m a Muslim and my neighbor is a Christian. We matter because we are humans –1st and citizens of our respective countries 2nd. Let’s be each other’s keepers, and support each other’s struggles.

Together we are successful.

Operating separately is lonely and takes longer. We ALL Matter!

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

June 15, 2020 at 3:50 pm Leave a comment

Who I Am Matters To Me

In my devotional time this morning, I was reading about Job and how God saw him as blameless and faithful, yet allowed Satan to ravage his life by causing mayhem.

What stuck out most to me was not that God would offer Job up as a sacrifice, but the comments that Job’s friends made about his situation. The assumptions they made…

The biggest mistake that Job’s friends and wife made was that they assumed he did something wrong to have all hell break loose in his pretty perfect life.

How many of us feel the same way? Before this pandemic, things were pretty amazing for me… Then the pandemic started…

Periodically through this quarantine, friends and family members have lost their jobs, their businesses or friends and family have died. Some of those friends have had multiple deaths occur and others have lost their inspiration and fallen into deep depression. Some have lost children to suicide.

So today I thought about who I am:

• As a wife

• As a mother

• As a family member

• As a friend

• As a business owner

I’ve checked myself to see how I am showing up – to myself and others. Have I decided like Job’s friends that those who are losing their livelihood or their lives, did something wrong? Or am I offering the best support I can by being a good listener without judging? 🤔

#Wednesdaythoughts #loveyourself

Are you a mom who no longer recognizes the woman you’ve become? Are you ready to make some changes?

Let’s talk: calendly.com/clynn/intro

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

May 31, 2020 at 8:00 am Leave a comment

Now That I have Time to Think

One of the benefits of COVID-19 is the time that I am taking to motivate myself.
#selfcare #morningroutine

Continue Reading May 13, 2020 at 12:48 pm Leave a comment

The Importance of Self-Care During a Pandemic…and Beyond

Guest blog by Kristen Fescoe, Resility Health

As we find ourselves living an uncertain and challenging time, self-care has never been so important. Before the outbreak of COVID-19, self-care was something many of us pushed to the back burner. There would always be time for it tomorrow. For most, tomorrow never came. Now, as we are being asked to slow down and change the way we live, it seems that tomorrow may be today.

There are plenty of benefits to creating a self-care routine. Feeling better about yourself, living a more present life and focusing on your own goals are all important examples. Self-care is one of the best ways to stave off the physical and emotional impact of stress and worry.

When you experience a stressor in your life, big or small, your brain and body react with the fight or flight reflex. Your brain releases chemical messengers into your bloodstream. Your pulse and blood pressure quicken. While this is great if there is a real threat to you, it can be damaging to your mental and physical health if you experience it for an extended period of time.

This is where self-care plays an important role. By taking a little time every day to focus on your emotional well-being, you can start to change the way you react to stress. No matter how badly we would like to, it’s really hard to eliminate stress from our lives. Especially now, during this difficult time. Stress is a constant in most of our lives.

What we can change is the way we react to stress.

Daily self-care is a mechanism to do this. Let’s say you decide that 3 times a day you will perform a self-check-in. So each morning, afternoon and evening you will spend 2-3 minutes checking in with yourself and thinking about how you feel both physically and emotionally.

During these few minutes, you will think about any pain or discomfort you have, anything that has been silently nagging at your attention, anything that might be impacting your mood. By just taking notice of it you actually can start to change how you react to it. If you were to do this every day for 3-4 weeks you will quickly find that you become much more aware of when your body is reacting to stress and you will even start to reduce your body’s automatic stress response.

There has never been a better time to begin a self-care regimen. Stress is at an all-time high. People are dealing with everything from loss of loved ones to extreme loneliness and even the exacerbation of psychological disorders. Life isn’t easy. Since you can’t do anything to remove stress from your life, there is something you can do to change its impact on you.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com


May 6, 2020 at 8:27 pm Leave a comment

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