Posts filed under ‘Parenting’
What Are the Rules?
I’m old enough to remember that rules were made for a reason and people followed them.
Sometimes we broke the rules by disobeying our parents, but not often because there were consequences.
We didn’t do things like throw paper or bags of food on the ground. We didn’t see our parents do it and there were fines if you got caught littering. Plus our parents or someone else gave us a hard time if we disobeyed “the rules”.
I think about how annoying some rules are and what their purpose is.
I love my freedom. So following the rules isn’t always easy for me. But I understand how important they are if I want to live harmoniously with people in my community and in my family.
Freedoms across the world are important too! So I stand in solidarity with my brothers and sisters, when we celebrate events like May Day, Cinco de Mayo and Juneteenth. I watch events in my community and around the world as rebellions reflect how unhappy people are with rules! Yet, without basic rules of conduct, civility and how we live, there is only chaos, not freedom.
I think about the importance of moms in our life. Mothers teach us and help us follow rules and they create customs that follow us for the rest of our lives.
It’s important for parents to share their values with their children, so they understand how they fit into the world and how to live harmoniously with others. The world is a better place when we respect each other and follow basic rules. Our kids are watching us.
By the way, it bugs me when people drive through the red light, don’t stop at stop signs, or beep at pedestrians because they are taking too long to cross the street. 😡
Let’s remember to live harmoniously and that we are all related as humans.
Smile at someone today.
Be courteous.
Let someone merge in front of you when you’re driving. Be a positive role model to your child. That’s my prayer for the month of May.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & parent coach
OtoZen App Review: The Ultimate Driver Safety Companion
Image by Lopolo on Shutterstock
When it comes to driving, it’s always best to be careful and drive defensively. I want my friends and family to feel safe when I’m behind the wheel, and I want them to stay safe when they’re driving, too.
But how can I be sure that my loved ones are driving safely? Especially with teens, as they are more sensitive about sharing their activities and whereabouts with parents.
One of the most effective ways to ensure your loved ones are safe on the road is to use a driver safety app. These apps can help you maintain situational awareness and control at all times. This is why my family and I use one.
After trying a few others, OtoZen is my app of choice because of how easy it is to coordinate with multiple drivers on one platform. It helps me and my family stay safe on the road with its warning systems, real-time GPS, and Live Location features.
Why Is OtoZen the App of Choice for Driver Safety?
OtoZen has several features that encourage and help drivers stay safe on the roads. It offers everything from speeding and car use alerts to driving and family safety features that can help new and teenage drivers in your family.
1. Speeding Alerts
OtoZen monitors the vehicle’s speed, alerting drivers when they exceed the speed limit in a particular area. This can help new and experienced drivers know the limit for each road, avoid costly speeding tickets, and stay aware of how fast they are driving.
2. Live Location Sharing
This feature allows drivers to share their location with family and friends. OtoZen also gives drivers the option to send their expected time of arrival (ETA), so their family and friends will know when to expect them. This can also ease parents’ minds, knowing when their teens arrive at their destination.
Live Location sharing lets users control who can see their movements on the road, providing privacy, safety, and security through one app.
3. Safe Driving Score
One of the best ways to become a better driver is through feedback. OtoZen provides Drive Scores for each trip that identify unsafe driving behavior like speeding and phone usage.
Monitoring phone usage brings attention to distracted driving, helping drivers stay focused and avoid distractions while operating a vehicle. The Drive Scores are an excellent way to improve driving habits and observe safe driving guidelines while traveling. This feature can also help teens build accountability.
4. Helps Your Family Members Pass Driving Tests
OtoZen is an excellent tool that can prepare teens for their driving tests. The app can log and share driving records with driving instructors at the local Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV).
Driver training schools can also use OtoZen to assess their students’ performance. They can quickly review which areas need improvement through the automatically generated driving log.
5. Accident Detection and Roadside Assistance
The app detects accidents and sends a 911 dispatch automatically. Whether minor or severe, OtoZen has 24/7 support services from certified dispatchers who notify emergency responders immediately in the event of a crash.
The dispatchers use the app’s Live Location feature to inform authorities of the vehicle’s exact location so they can send the nearest responders to the area.
6. Hands-free Driver Safety
The app lets drivers receive and send messages through their vehicle’s speakers, minimizing distractions. The hands-free feature also sends audio reminders for nearby errands and appointments and automatically notifies friends and family of trip progress and arrival times.
Is the App Worth It?
OtoZen can fulfill many needs and concerns regarding driver safety.
Stay Connected
If you have a teen learning to drive or simply want to stay connected with friends and family, OtoZen is a great choice. You can monitor loved ones’ locations and know when they need your help. While your teen is old enough to do many things, that does not take away from ensuring their safety.
Improve Driving
Student drivers can use the Driver Scores feature to see how well they are doing. You can work with your teens and help them improve their skills, especially with an automatically generated report they can show to driving schools and the DMV.
Save Lives
The accident and roadside assistance features can save lives. Anyone is susceptible to accidents, especially teens who are learning to drive. You can quickly gain peace of mind with this app, as it automatically notifies you and emergency responders when an accident occurs and provides an exact location.
Helpful Modes
It also uses different modes to observe a driver’s movements: driver and viewer.
Viewer mode allows you to observe the vehicle’s movements, including the ETA, stops, and Driver Scores. Plus, you can view other vehicles that have shared their location with you and see their movement on the app under Live Location.
In Driver mode, you can enable Live Location, input the location of your home, and set up hands-free notifications and reminders when you are on the road. You can also set up speeding alerts to get notified when you pass the speed limit, which is especially helpful when you are unfamiliar with a location’s speed limits.
OtoZen: Best for Families
Using an app like OtoZen can help parents like me track the movement of loved ones. It allows me to monitor their whereabouts without being too intrusive and controlling.
You can give your teens the freedom they want while teaching responsibility with an app that automatically informs you where they are and their current situation. Parents don’t have to needlessly worry when their teens aren’t home yet. OtoZen tells me where they are, provides their ETA, and even shows me their speed.
Make Driver Safety Part of Your Family With OtoZen
Driver safety is a lesson every family needs to learn. Downloading OtoZen as a driver safety and assistance app can go a long way in protecting your teens on the road.
If you want to monitor your teens and ensure they’re driving safely, OtoZen is an excellent choice.
Teaching Kids About Money
Guest article by Yulissa Asprilla, yasprilla@annuity.org
Teaching your kids about money is an important part of parenting. It is important to start early and give them a basic understanding of money and how it works. You can also help them to understand the importance of investing and the risks associated with it. Finally, you can help them to understand the importance of giving back to the community and how to make charitable donations, It can help them to become financially responsible adults.
Some parents may not feel confident enough in their own financial knowledge to be able to teach their kids about money. Others may think it is inappropriate to discuss money with young children, or mistakenly believe that children are too young to comprehend financial concepts. However, it is important to remember that teaching your children about money is essential to their development, and it is never too early to start.
When to start?
Depending on the age of your child, the conversation may vary. For younger children, you can start by introducing basic concepts such as the value of money, how to save, and how to make wise spending decisions. As your child gets older, you can introduce more complex topics such as budgeting, investing, and credit. It is important to have open and honest conversations with your child about money and to ensure that they understand the value of money and how to manage it responsibly.
How do I convince my kid that college is worth it?
When it comes to convincing your kid that college is worth it, it is important to emphasize the numerous benefits that come with a college education. Explain to your child that college provides them with the opportunity to gain valuable knowledge and skills that will help them succeed in their future career. Additionally, point out the potential for increased earning potential and job security that a college degree can provide. Finally, explain that college is a great way to make long-lasting connections and friendships that can last a lifetime.
Making a Budget
The first step is to help them create a budget that is realistic and achievable. This should include setting a goal for how much money they want to save each month and listing all of their monthly expenses. Once they have a budget in place, they should be encouraged to stick to it. This means avoiding impulse purchases and shopping around for the best deals. They should also be reminded to save any extra money they have left over at the end of the month. Finally, it is important to provide ongoing support and encouragement to help them stay on track. With these steps, they should be able to stick to their budget and reach their financial goals.
Lessons & Activities
We need to teach them that making mistakes in the comfort of their home, could greatly impact their future decisions by giving a sense of importance coming from the use of money. Researchers from the University of Minnesota suggest focusing “children’s education about money on the concepts of earning, spending, saving, borrowing, and sharing.” The University of Arizona doctoral student Ashley LeBaron said in her studies that “Practice Makes Perfect: Experimental learning as a Method of Financial Socialization.”
Software Applications for Teaching Kids About Money
Miata Edoga, president of the financial education company Abundance Bound, told Parentology, “We don’t want our kids to be afraid of spending, or be afraid of managing credit. We want them to feel confident in their ability to negotiate successful financial lives, to come at money from a place of power, rather than fear.”
The information age ushered in new media teaching platforms and introduced the world to the “digital native.” New educational apps for kids are launched regularly. These technological tools use interactivity and gamification to make financial concepts fun for children and teens, Additionally, by Educating kids about core personal finance topics, these apps simulate the digital-era experience of using credit and debit cards, mobile payment methods, and online banking.
Wish your family just said “Thank You Mom” once in a while? Attend my upcoming webinar where I talk about it.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
What’s Your Story: Women’s History Month
While we celebrate March as a month for sharing women’s history, I think about my relationship with my mother, and all of the women who have passed through my life.
My love and respect for the women in my life was taught to me by my mother. I valued my relationship with her, even though we didn’t always agree.
As young girls, we are often led to believe that it’s mom’s way or the highway. I challenged that theory with my mom and I encourage other mothers and daughters to do the same, and allow each other the space to grow beyond their family, their culture and the world’s expectations of them. Let your daughter know that it’s okay to follow a path no one in your family dared to follow. 👣
I used to tell my daughter, she could be whomever she wanted and not to let anyone (including me) tell her she couldn’t do what she wanted with her life. That’s the legacy that I want for all girls.
Show the girls, teens and young women (that you interact with) how amazing they are now, and how far they can go with their lives. That’s what women’s history is all about.
Saying Yes when you really just need a break? Schedule a complimentary session with me to determine what tools can help make family living easier for you.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Want to Improve Your Relationship with Your Mother (Daughter)?
Ones of the ways to improve a relationship is to apologize and listen…
Continue Reading February 15, 2023 at 3:21 pm Leave a comment
Teaching Responsibility versus Perfection
This month I’ve focused on commitment and responsibility within our families, with ourselves as parents, and with our children.
I would not be MsParentguru, if I didn’t mention that many of us grew up with parents who taught us that success meant you did things exactly as you were told – perfectly.
That’s how I was raised.
Thinking back to my childhood, my siblings and I had chores. To deviate from my parent’s expectations was not good! There were consequences. 😩 For example, during the week, I was expected to heat up dinner, by the time my parents got home from work. My sister or brother would set the table.
Being the strong-willed child who stretched the limits of what my mom wanted me to do, I would not focus so much on having dinner ready, I would do something that I thought would make mom happy and proud of me.
Why? 🤷🏽♀️ Kids need the why…
Of course she reprimanded me because I did not do what she expected me to do, but what I felt as a child, was that I couldn’t please my mother.
How many times have you felt like that growing up? If you did exactly what your parents asked you to do they still weren’t pleased with the results? So we have children that suffer with self-esteem issues and I wonder if parents are requiring perfection as a need for control instead of teaching children the bigger picture?
The bigger picture is that there are many ways to complete tasks at home, at school or at work. When we get stuck with how something should be done, it causes issues in our relationship with our kids.
So how do we repair those relationships?
One way is to be really clear about what it is that we want our children to do when we assign tasks or chores – simply saying “clean up your room” could mean that there are no dirty clothes or plates of food underneath the bed or stuffed in the closet.
It might mean that your bed is made and whatever else you want them to do in their room. Once you have explained the task, have your child say back to you what it is that they heard you say so that both of you understand. I certainly remember saying “that’s not what I asked you to do”, and hearing – “Mom that’s what you said.”
Will this strategy work the first couple of times maybe so, maybe not. However, as you work on communicating in a way that they understand and cover it with a lot of love and grace, conversations, and the expectations will get better and better. I’d love to hear your thoughts on what it meant to be a perfect, parent and issues that you may have faced trying to control your child’s responses.
What was missing between my mom and I, was the explanation for why what I did was not good enough. These types of conversations help parents teach responsibility and life lessons to their children without squelching their self-esteem.
If your motherhood journey feels more like a chore, than an honored responsibility…Register here for my FREE 3-Day challenge: Make Family Living Easier.
C. Lynn Williams, Ms. Parentguru
Which One Are You Today?
It’s funny When your kids are small, you don’t ever want them to grow up. They are so innocent and precious and they listen to our every word. Then the day comes when they start saying things like “I’m grown, I can make my own decisions.” And you realize they are growing up and maybe you should let them make their decisions.
Then they say things like:
- Can you pay for my phone?
- Will you complete my FAFSA?
- Do you have money for me to get my nails done?
- Can you pay my car insurance?
- Will you pay my rent?
Hold up! I thought you were grown? What happened to “I can do this.” or “Please stop telling me what to do!?”
This is the brain of our teenage or 20-something kid. The problem is that they really don’t want your lessons learned talk, they want your money and support. No commitment!
While I published this blog in 2019, what I neglected to say was how important is it to teach commitment to our children when they are young and eager to learn (and please you). Teaching commitment means giving your children chores, which helps them understand how their chores helps the family operate more effectively. Commitment helps children take responsibility for what they did or didn’t do.
By the time your child is a teenager, they are less inclined to lose their minds when you say “We can’t do that this time.”
When your kid says, “I can do it”, it’s important to let him or her do it.
Today’s parents don’t want their children to make the mistakes they made. It sounds good, but isn’t realistic. Growing up, I never liked being nagged and was very independent. Did I make mistakes? Absolutely, but most were never shared with my parents. I would have liked to talk out my decisions before they became mistakes, but didn’t feel my parents would have listened objectively and said, “What do you think you should do?”
Young people today don’t feel that way. They don’t want to be nagged or guilt tripped, but they want to be rescued when they’ve made a mistake. It’s doesn’t work both ways.
Some lessons can only be learned through experience. A daughter who has a child without the security of marriage, takes a risk that she will raise her child alone. (It can also happen if she marries.) A son who wants to play pro ball and decides not to go to college, takes a risk of having an injury and working the rest of his life as a laborer. Being afraid for our children and not letting them make mistakes prolongs the process of growing into a responsible adult.
It’s hard watching our children make mistakes especially ones that can follow them for life. It’s harder when they tell you to butt out and let them live their life. However, just like our parents let us go and grow… we have to do the same thing. A little lesson learning never hurt anybody!
Happy 2023!
Saying Yes when you really mean No? Schedule a complimentary session with me to determine what tools can help make family living easier.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Wishing You A Merry Christmas
Christmas is the time of celebration and merry making for everyone. This holiday is known for the melodious Christmas carols, rhythmical Christmas poems and intoxicating Christmas songs. An occasion of togetherness and merriment with your family is what Christmas is all about.
I wish you a very Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays! Below is a poem I am sharing with you from theparentsday website.
C. Lynn
Home is With Parents
Home is where parents and memories live,
Full of the love only families can give,
It’s a place where you learn
and a place where you play,
It’s a cozy retreat on a cold winter’s day
It’s warm and familiar and yet always new,
A place where there’s always a welcome for you,
Home is where laughter and happiness grow,
A place you’ll remember wherever you go.
Merry Christmas to both of you
With love,
(insert your child’s name)
Mothers Are Gifts (Sent From God)
The Christmas season is right around the corner, and as usual, I have a million things to do. 🤯
However, one thing that I do every morning, is to take time to pray, meditate, and do my sit-ups. This time, gives me a chance to get in touch with how I feel about what’s going on in my life, in my business, and just to chill for a minute before the day begins.
Today, as I was reading my Daily Word, I thought about how many ways God has stepped into my life, and either suggested that I reach out to someone, talk to my kids about a concern that I have or let them know they were on my mind. I thought about like mothers, God is always watching us, and it blew me away!
God watching us is a good thing, and I’m glad that I have this spiritual support (God), because as you know, there are days that 1+1 does not equal two. And life doesn’t feel fair and people that you love pass away, or move away.
So, in my quiet moment, I think about how we are gifts to our children and our families. Let’s remember that, throughout our day today, when our child is calling, crying, or needing more than what we think we have to give.
I talk more about spiritual gifts and making family life easier for moms, in my 30 day program: How to Simplify Your Family Life Easier and Effectively.
How to Simplify Your Family Life helps women work on three areas: personal, family and relationships to eliminate burnout, mom guilt and exhaustion.
Once you complete the program, you’ll be able to:
- Create a support system that helps you stay calm and hold onto your temper
- Create and use morning and evening routines to keep our family organized and in order
- Develop easy-to-use phrases and affirmations to respond to stressful comments and reduce mom guilt
- Manage your daily schedule to include a daily activity of fun, rest or relaxation
- Establish healthy life habits (food, exercise, sleep) that you have practiced during the 30 days individually or with an accountability partner
This online course begins January 9, and I’m offering the first 10 moms a Christmas gift of 50% off the retail price if you schedule time with me (and register for the course) by Dec 24th.
The Lord looks down from heaven, and sees the whole human race. On his throne, he observes all who live on the Earth. He made their hearts, so he understands everything they do. (Psalm 33:13-15)
Have a magnificent day! 🌞☀️
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
14 Steps for Student Moms: Ways to Study Successfully & Stay Sane
contributor, Irene Fenswick | writer and blogger at IvyPanda
Many people say that obtaining a college or university degree was the largest challenge they’ve ever faced. A part-time job can make the process even more overwhelming, although you’ll probably graduate with unparalleled time-management skills. But the most significant advantage of a part-time job is that you can suspend it if you feel overwhelmed.
But being a student and a mom is nothing like that: you cannot take a day off or sick leave to recover from a sleepless night with a baby.
This article prepared by our experts features 14 tips for a person hoping to go after the unattainable – someone who plans to become a mom and a full-time student. Use our advice like Ariadne’s thread to guide you through the labyrinth of term papers, dirty laundry, exams, runny noses, lectures, sandbox conflicts, and other challenges of being a student mom. Two working mothers have prepared this list, so you know we know what we’re talking about!
Table of Contents
- ✍️ Write Things Down
- 🏹 Don’t Multitask
- ⏰ Use Your Time Wisely
- 😍 Embrace the Chaos
- 🎯 Set Your Priorities
- 🤖 Automate Household Chores
- 🤝 Delegate Things
- 🗃 Organize Your Space
- 🏫 Study on Campus
- ✅ Be Practical
- 🏃 Think of Your Health
- 🛀 Relax
- ❌ Learn to Say No
- 🌷 Be Kind to Yourself
✍️ Tip #1: Write Things Down
Let’s face it, motherhood and planning for more than one day in advance are hardly compatible. That’s why we decided to abstain from suggesting you make a time-sensitive to-do list. However helpful it may be for any other (non-mom) student, you’ll end up falling behind and scolding yourself for the failure. After all, planning and making lists should facilitate our lives and not add more hassle.
Writing things down is intended to unload temporarily irrelevant or non-urgent things from your head so you can return to them later.
That’s why it is a good idea to write down everything in more than one planner:
- A paper calendar for educational tasks with deadlines and important details.
- A school calendar with the schedule of your classes for easier planning.
- A notebook for your child’s needs.
- A notebook for study-related issues.
- A journal for general notes (every day, write down the most important events and thoughts of the day so as not to lose track of them).
There’s no need to have a paper version of all the above. Check out the digital tools below to reduce the weight of your backpack/diaper bag.
| 🌐 | Todoist | The most popular task manager and to-do list app. The program features desktop and mobile versions. Price: free or starting from $3 per month for a paid version. |
| 🌐 | Trello | A tool that is able to organize an individual or group project on a virtual Kanban board. Trello’s popularity largely comes from its simplicity. Price: free or starting from $5 per month for a paid version. |
| 🌐 | Asana | A cloud-based task management solution for individuals and teams. The app has integration with Google Drive, Outlook and other apps. Price: free for individual purposes. |
🏹 Tip #2: Don’t Overdo Multitasking
There is a notion that women do better at multitasking. However, the findings that influenced that idea were highly inconsistent, and contemporary research does not confirm the notion. In truth, all humans are equally bad at multitasking.
The inconsistency may have arisen due to the confusion between the two types of multitasking.
- Concurrent multitasking is simultaneously performing two or more activities (like texting while driving).
- Serial multitasking means making rapid switches between tasks (studying for an exam, checking your email and Facebook, and answering the phone). The latter is more frequent and detrimental. In brief, all multitasked activities take longer and bring worse results than if performed separately.
The advice “don’t overdo multitasking” while being a student and a mom sounds laughable. But we are talking about specific activities. Here’s a brief list of dos and don’ts while studying:
- Silence your cellphone and put it in an inconveniently distant place.
- Turn off the Wi-Fi connection on your computer if you don’t need it.
- If you need a Wi-Fi connection, close all messengers.
- When you have to study while your child is playing, try listening to background music through earphones. It is a research-proven fact that binaural beats do not just silence distractions but also benefit your concentration.
⏰ Tip #3: Use Your Time Wisely
Being a mom and a full-time student means that you spend half of the day studying and the other half caring for your child. This simple math leaves no room for any “me-time” or even 8 hours of sleep. The only solution is to use the available 24 hours as productively as possible.
- The easiest way to boost your productivity is to use a Pomodoro timer.
This technique divides your studying time into 25-minute sections with 5-minute breaks; it’s as simple as that. The tool has a psychological effect: you know that once you’ve completed the cycles, you can do whatever you want. And besides, small challenges always seem more manageable than a 4-hour marathon. - Time blocking is slightly more complicated but even more efficient for a student mom.
The idea is to avoid jumping between various activities and focus on one thing at a time. Your task is to divide your timetable into dedicated blocks and do what you are supposed to do during these periods. Cal Newport wrote his book Deep Work about this technique (although the book has other valuable advice too).
In the event of an emergency, you can painlessly cancel a block or two or change their order. So, if you fail to follow the schedule (which will happen a lot), at least you’ll have a chance to track the most significant time drainers.
😍 Tip #4: Embrace the Chaos
Do you have a child? Congratulations, you are an expert in chaos. Uncertainty is an intrinsic part of human life, but now you feel it more painfully than ever. Still, motherhood has its advantages: you become aware of the chaos.
In the first few years of your child’s life, you learn that total control is an unattainable illusion. All you have to do is relax and try to enjoy the spontaneity.
Here’s why:
- The future is unpredictable.
- Chaos makes you stronger.
- You learn to adapt and become resilient.
- It forces you to distinguish between the unimportant and essential.
- The big picture comes into view over time.
- Going with the flow is exciting.
If the chaos stresses you out in an unhealthy way, try mindful breathing. Focus on your inhalation and exhalation. Empty your mind of any thoughts. If some worries or memories come up, push them away. Regular practice will make you feel more stable in complicated situations.
🎯 Tip #5: Set Your Priorities
The Pareto principle claims that 80% of a result comes from just 20% of the actions. Knowing which activities are the most efficient and focusing on them is often beneficial. Of course, we cannot decide this part for you: you know yourself much better than we ever will! But parental priorities are comparatively similar for all people.
HBR believes that all parental duties fall under these four categories:
- Pastoral care (showing love, setting boundaries, teaching values, etc.);
- Decision making (making critical choices on education, healthcare, presents, etc.);
- Logistics (taking children to school and social events, etc.);
- Household duties (cooking, cleaning the house, laundry., etc.).
This is a wonderful example of the Pareto principle in action. Pastoral care is the primary function of a caregiver, and nobody can replace them in it. And it is also the least time-consuming category. Logistical details take up much more time.
Household duties are the least critical category, and anyone can handle them. But they eat up the most significant part of a parent’s day. The only way out is to automate or delegate your housework, and the following two tips will cover these solutions.
🤖 Tip #6: Automate Household Chores
Researchers predict that robots will do 90% of all household chores by 2040. That’s a dream life for a busy mom!
Unfortunately, we are not in 2040 yet, but many valuable appliances have already appeared. Roomba vacuums and mops, robot lawnmowers, dishwashers, multi-functional pots, and window cleaning robots are only some to mention. Some of them (for instance, smart dog and cat bowls) don’t save much time. Their purpose is to declutter your head from as many duties as possible.
🤝 Tip #7: Delegate Things
Ordering grocery delivery online is fairly automatable. Once you form a weekly list of food supplies, you can re-order them with several mouse clicks. To delegate cooking altogether, arrange pizza evenings from time to time. Besides, healthy ready-made food is also available (although it might be more expensive than cooking yourself).
In a word, if something can be delegated, do it! Babysitters and domestic maids are an excellent way to help your child have a well-rested and healthy mom. If not, friends, family, and your partner are often eager to help but don’t know how to do so.
The only concern here may be that they will have their own ways of doing things. For instance, you sing a song to your children to help them fall asleep, while your partner prefers reading a book. Let them develop different habits and don’t try to micromanage: it is highly discouraging to those who want to help you.
And don’t underestimate your kids: they can make their beds and put away their toys starting in the early years. You’ll have to dedicate some time to training them, but once you are successful, one big problem will be eliminated. And there’s a bonus: each new skill makes your children more independent.
🗃 Tip #8: Organize Your Study Space
A student mom will study at home most of the time, especially in the era of distance learning. The minimum study-at-home kit is a tidy corner, table, laptop, and a “don’t disturb” sign. For more complex organizational solutions for organizing your study space, consult this infographic. But in brief, here’s a set of general recommendations:
| ❌ | Don’t turn your sleeping space into a studying space. Consider finding a separate place for a home office. |
| 🪑 | Arrange a quiet, well-lit corner with a comfy table and chair. Natural light is ideal for studying. If you’re studying at night, experiment with the brightness levels of your lamp. |
| 📤 | Remove all unnecessary items for a clutter-free spot. When you have a small child, getting rid of the mess is a challenge. But you can try to keep your computer files organized. |
| 🦄 | Make your study space inspiring by pinning motivational quotes, beautiful pictures, and using the appropriate color scheme. |
| ⚪️ | If you study in the same room where your child sleeps, try using a white noise generator. It will prevent your kid from waking up from keyboard clicking sounds. |
🏫 Tip #9: Make the Most of Your On-Campus Time
If you rarely skip classes because of parenting, you can consider yourself one of the lucky ones. Many student mothers point out that they feel much more focused and upbeat while on campus. And no surprise – nobody is there calling you ‘mom’ every five minutes.
Take advantage of this opportunity. Leave all your parental concerns off campus:
- Participate in discussions,
- Ask questions,
- Immerse yourself in the available knowledge.
You will also benefit from using breaks between classes to cope with homework. It will take you less time and effort than while you are at home with a baby. Besides, completing all the assignments on campus allows you to turn distracted babysitting into quality time back home.
✅ Tip #10: Be Practical & Realistic about Elective Subjects
Despite the unquestionable benefits of being on campus, be aware that you’ll waste some time getting there and back every day. There are a few rules that can make your schedule more practical:
- Do enough research in terms of elective subjects. How much coursework and reading will they require? Are they critical for your future specialization and career? The advice here is that quality is better than quantity. If you can select fewer or less time-consuming subjects, do so.
- Stack as many classes as possible into several days to have more days off.
- Schedule your classes at the same time as your child’s daycare so you don’t split yourself between home and classes.
🏃 Tip #11: Think of Your Health
Motherhood plus education is not 1+1. It is 22. By the end of the semester, you will be exhausted. But the energy you dedicate to studying is just the tip of the iceberg. Like anyone, you will fall sick from time to time, and it can feel like a low blow. Most colds are unpredictable, but it is always a good idea to take care of your health.
- Adjust your diet to your brain’s needs. Opt for healthy fats (fatty fish, avocado, and veggie oils) and protein-rich products (nuts, eggs, dairy, and meat). Don’t forget about healthy carbs that can be found in fruit, berries, and whole grains.
- Carry a bottle of still water wherever you go. Dehydration makes you feel tired and dizzy.
- Stay physically active. For instance, if taking public transport or walking takes almost the same time, choose the latter. Besides, you’ll be able to listen to an online lecture on the go.
- Try to stay on schedule, though this is challenging. Wake up and go to bed at a specific time, so your body gets accustomed to the timetable.
- Address a sleep consultant if your child disrupts your sleep on a regular basis. A good one may cost a fortune, but the result will be worth the effort.
🛀 Tip #12: Find Time for Yourself
Some moms experience guilt if they leave their child with a babysitter while studying or working. They use every free minute to do homework or housework to make up for this feeling. But this approach won’t bring you more freedom. There’ll always be chores and assignments to do. And another hour of sleep does not count as “me-time.”
Arrange cozy evenings with your partner while another family member babysits your kid. Read books outside the curriculum while your child is quietly playing (happily, such moments do also happen). We cannot say for sure about becoming “dull,” but all work and no play makes you sick, nervous, and unmotivated.
Kids need a happy mom. If you cannot afford to relax for the sake of your health, do so for the sake of your children.
❌ Tip #13: Learn to Say No
If you are one of the people who struggle with saying “no,” being a full-time mom and student will make you reconsider your priorities. You cannot be everywhere at the same time.
Partying with college friends, going out with your partner, reading to your kid, and cooking meals for house guests are incompatible activities. They can be equally pleasurable, but all have an identical drawback: you can only do them in succession. Thus, make wise choices and say “no” to the things you can skip.
Be ready to confront persuasive techniques:
| 🚩 | Asking twice | If you reject a request, they may ask you for a smaller favor. Don’t agree if you feel uncomfortable about doing it. |
| 🚩 | Inflicting guilt | Friends never keep score. If they helped you once and remind you of it each time you put yourself first, are they really your friends? |
| 🚩 | Comparing you to others | “Everyone is going to be at the party. Why don’t you come?” You’re not everyone. You have your unique needs, schedule, family situation, and preferences. |
The good news is that there’s always a way to say a polite “no.” For example:
| 👌 | Promise to think about it | The method works well with emotionally intelligent people or in cases where you are not the only one being asked. |
| 👌 | Start with gratitude or a compliment | “I am touched that you would like to see me on your special day, but I cannot accept your invitation.” |
| 👌 | Encourage the person to ask someone else | A good idea would be to suggest other people. |
🌷 Tip #14: Be Kind to Yourself
Trying to excel in everything will bring you to ruins. Burnout and depression are much more than catchwords in life coaching videos on YouTube. What would you like to achieve in your studies? If getting a degree is not as important as being a full-time mom, reconsider your reasons for studying. And yes, this type of critical analysis takes immense amounts of discipline and honesty.
Having a purpose brings happiness. You feel more accomplished, successful, and motivated when you achieve your goal.
But remember, if something doesn’t work out and you fail a class, it is not the end of the world. Even the best students have their worst days. Retake the course later, i.e., focus on the solution, not the problem.
We hope our advice will bring you a more fulfilled life, and your kids will see you as a role model of persistence and self-discipline. Below you’ll find an infographic that contains all the tips described in this article. Enjoy!
Remember: if you are worried about being a good parent and student, know that you are already a good one. Bad ones don’t even consider that they could be better. Have any tips to share with other student moms reading this article? You are welcome to do so in the comments below. Click here for a copy of the infographic.
🔗 References
- The student mom: How to maximize study time – SheKnows
- How To Combine Motherhood With Studies at the Institute?
- How to Be a Working Mom – The New York Times
- 13 science-backed tips to stay focused and avoid distractions
- 5 Best Daily Planner Apps To Boost Your Productivity – Lifehack
- How to Delegate: 14 Steps (with Pictures) – wikiHow
- Studying 101: Study Smarter Not Harder – UNC Learning Center
- How do working moms find time for themselves? – Quora
- The Professional Women Who Are Leaning Out – The Atlantic
Want to learn more about how to get along with your family members? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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