Do You Know the Difference Between Nurturing and Spoiling?

August 10, 2019 at 2:29 pm Leave a comment

spoiled child or spoiled brat is a derogatory term aimed at children who exhibit behavioral problems from being overindulged by their parents.

Do You Know the Difference Between Nurturing and Spoiling?

Let’s test your parental emotional quotient (EQ):

  1. What’s your response when your child falls (after you just told him to stop running) and he skins his knees?
  2. You hug him and remind him that if he’s not careful, he can fall and hurt himself.
  3. You scold him for running and tell him it was his fault that he fell.

How you answer that question has everything to do with how you were raised and what sense of security you are instilling in your child.
To have a happy, outgoing child, requires that you treat him (her) with patience, openness, love and kindness. You will not spoil your child by giving them hugs and kisses. You will cultivate a child that understands what love feels like and how to be kind.
Behavior correction (Discipline) is needed too, as long as it’s done:

  • In moderation
  • Age appropriately
  • With clarity so that the child understands why

Often we may respond harshly or sarcastically to our child when what we really feel is our own fears (taking over) and feeling uncertain about how best to respond.

Depending on how we were treated as a child, nurturing was considered spoiling a child. There are many adults who are nurture-deficient and are looking for ways to feel better about who they are.

Spoiling a child is giving in to her (his) whims over and over. Nurturing a child is comforting them (mistakes made or not), listening without judgement, and caring how they feel.

I grew up in a generation where a child’s feelings were seldom taken into account unless he or she was sick. She was considered clingy if she needed hugs and kisses. Most likely she was told to “grow up” or “stop being a baby”.

I wanted well-adjusted, emotionally stable children, so I hugged a lot , and loved them as much as possible. As I matured, I learned to listen more.
My best advice is to follow your heart when it comes to your children. If it feels right to sit and hold them…

Give lots of hugs and kisses. Listen… alot.
If your parents or in-laws harass you about “spoiling” your kids, tell them like I told my father-in-law: “you can’t give too much love to your kids.”

Have daddy-daughter issues? My newest book, Daddy & Daughter Thoughts, addresses the complex and ever-evolving relationship between fathers and their daughters. Download your copy here: https://amzn.to/2JhPD8y

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author

Entry filed under: Parenting.

What Babies Mean When They Cry The Voices Heard Before Suicide

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed


Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 14,538 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 11,483 hits

Contact Info

(224) 357-6315
Online: 8 am - 8 pm

Follow me on Twitter

Upcoming Events


tembceducation

"From Crayon to Career" Resources to provide sustainabilty to your educational practices and training

WILDsound Festival

Weekly Film Festival in Toronto & Los Angeles. Weekly screenplay & story readings performed by professional actors.

You can't argue with crazy

Migraines suck, and other tidbits of my life!

%d bloggers like this: