Posts filed under ‘entrepreneur moms’

Give Them Something To Believe In

Life is funny, you leave one crisis, and move into a second or third one. 

This week I’m thinking about boys… yes, our sons. And the challenges some of them face growing up.

For the last several years, we have experienced a number of young men losing their life to gun violence. Violence of being shot by rivals and violence due to police shootings. Last year (2020), not only did we experience over 600,000 people who died from COVID-19, we also watched as the number of black boys and men who were shot and killed by police, increased.

Toward the end of 2020, many cities noticed a rash of crimes where people were being carjacked and robbed or killed. Many of these crimes were committed by young men, some as young as 11 or 12. It makes you wonder what kind of direction or guidance they are receiving at home?

I had firsthand knowledge of guidance for a young boy.

My little brother…

I think back to my brother and how he responded to my mom and dad’s divorce. He was young, about 11 years old and missed having Dad at home. He was angry and felt alone.

He started getting into trouble.

A lot. Getting into trouble in those days, meant being disrespectful, destroying somebody’s property, or stealing. Our dad wasn’t coming by for regular visits, but if my mother called about my brother, Dad would come and discipline him. 

My brother was so unhappy that he began trying to take his life. (Thank God he was unsuccessful.) He also began hanging out with the “bad boys” in the neighborhood.

My mother sold our house and moved to a different neighborhood.

Who can say what kind of stress these boys are undergoing at home?

  • It could be due to financial issues.
  • Maybe the stress is verbal or physical.
  • Your son could be dealing with depression.
  • Perhaps he is reacting to deaths of people he knows due to COVID-19, domestic or gun violence. If his family has gang affiliation and the violence is orchestrated by gang leaders, imagine how stressful that could be.

How do you help your son if he is facing any of these (or other issues)? What do you do if he’s going through male teen angst? Maybe he’s exhibiting disrespectful, aggressive, violent behavior or mood swings.

What happens if you can’t change neighborhoods?

Try these five things before giving up or seeking professional help:

  • Schedule Time With Your Son – talk frequently and spend regularly scheduled time with him and keep his schedule jam-packed with school, sports, clubs, time with friends, and after-school jobs.
  • Set a Sleep Routine it’s easier being a teen if he’s getting enough sleep.
  • Get Moving – the last thing a moody teen wants to do is get up and move, but it’s one of the best ways he can feel better.
  • Listen Without Lecturingresist the urge to lecture your son. Listen with an open mind.
  • Keep Your Cool take a deep breath, keep your cool and find a way to communicate without lashing out.

Find an honorable, trustworthy male mentor that he can talk to, when he can’t talk to you. Remember to model healthy ways to handle stress. Take good care yourself.

I help parents build the kind of communication and trust that allows parent-child relationships to grow and feel better through coaching and parent classes. Email me for more information: info@clynnwilliams.com 😘 

Thanks for reading my blog. Follow me on Instagram and Twitter @MsParentguru.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

July 20, 2021 at 9:45 pm Leave a comment

Being Friends With Our Kids

I remember one of my mother’s favorite phrases when I was growing up – “I am not here to be friends with you.”

I never wanted to be friends with her, I just wanted her to stop being so mean… 

And then I had my own children…

What I found, was as my children became tweens and teens, I wanted to be friends with them. I wanted to laugh and enjoy them because they were growing into people that I loved and respected

Photo by Any Lane on Pexels.com

What I found out that was, being friends with my kids compromised me being their boundary setter, the consequence handler, the Mom that they could count on when they needed somebody to talk with them honestly; when they need the adult-in-charge to take over!

I found it difficult to be both friend and adult parent. So I too repeated my mom’s words: “I’m not here to be your friend, but you can count on me anytime and all the time.” 

What I learned from my kids, is that when I gave them boundaries they felt safe, and I often heard them repeating the house rules to their friends. I liked that! Being the adult in charge is important because your kids don’t have to worry about who you are today. They know you are the person they can rely on when life is crashing and burning  around them. 🔥 They won’t have to worry if you allow them to drink or smoke illegal substances (because you’re their friend) one day and other days it’s not tolerated. The lines are not blurred.

The friendship between the two of you will definitely come, probably when you’re both adults and they are making their own decisions. By then, sharing an alcoholic beverage is both legal and tolerated

I help parents build the kind of communication and trust that allows relationships to grow and feel better. Call me to schedule a complimentary chat session or to book a seat in my coaching program.😘 

Thanks for reading my blog. Follow me on Instagram and Twitter @MsParentguru.

C. Lynn Williams

clynnwilliams.com

May 12, 2021 at 8:15 pm Leave a comment

Holiday Sanity and Self-Care

How well are you managing yourself during this pandemic as the holiday festivities begin? Unless you begin preparing for Thanksgiving and Christmas during the summer, the flurry of emails, texts, and ads to buy have bombarded us since Halloween. Frankly, that can be stressful, especially with everything else you have on your plate.

Which one of these is you?

“I’m prepared for the holidays, but…”

Maybe you are attending one Zoom meeting after another and aren’t eating healthy foods or staying hydrated. Or perhaps you could benefit from an adequate morning routine of exercise, prayer, meditation, and breakfast. Maybe you’re the last one in bed at night, because “chores won’t take care of themselves”; and you also get up (in the middle of the night) when the baby needs feeding, or your 3-year-old has nightmares.

Face it – you are taking care of everyone else: your family, your co-workers, your clients! But are you practicing a little compassionate self-care? Where is the balance that you need to be sane, healthy and happy? According to hrzone.com, home and work-life balance refers to the level of prioritization between one’s personal and professional activities and the level to which activities related to their job are present in the home. COVID-19 isn’t helping because we are quarantined and asked to stay inside – to stay safe.

“I am constantly tired and slightly depressed…”

It’s quite possible that you are completely disenchanted with COVID-19 and have decided that you won’t catch the “virus”. So, you take unnecessary risks like not wearing your face mask.

If any of this is happening to you, you are not crazy.

There are two things happening here. One, you may be experiencing home and work-life imbalance. And two, you could be experiencing what Candace Hamell, LCSW calls “pandemic fatigue”. “Pandemic fatigue” can occur when people get tired of the pandemic measures and become less likely to follow public health practices or simply begin to drown out those messages. Pandemic fatigue can be experienced differently for everyone but often presents itself as:

  • Feeling restless
  • Irritable
  • Lacking motivation
  • Difficulty concentrating on tasks

You may even notice yourself withdrawing from socializing with others or physical symptoms such as changes in eating and sleep habits.[1]

Ms. Hamell is working with the American Heart Association this holiday season, to provide wellness tips to combat holiday stress and make your soul happy. Here are her wellness tips:

  • Manage stress – incorporate meditation and mindfulness practices into your day to distance yourself from daily stress.
  • Eat a healthy, well-balanced diet – avoid overeating or using substances such as alcohol to cope.
  • Stay physically active – this is one of the best ways to keep your body and mind healthy during this season and improve your quality of life.
  • Practice gratitude – write down five things that you are grateful for each day. This is a powerful tool that can reduce levels of depression, anxiety and improve sleep.

Make some boss moves and follow these tips to feel better and improve your quality of life!


Follow Ms. Hamell at candaceawilliams.com.

Follow me, C. Lynn Williams @MsParentGuru on Instagram and Twitter.

[1] https://www.chroniclejournal.com/life/beating-quarantine-fatigue-through-nature/article

December 5, 2020 at 8:20 pm Leave a comment

Hey Mom Lose The Guilt!

Eliminate Mom Guilt

It never surprises me when I ask a question to a mom and her daughter, and they have entirely different thoughts about how a particular experience or conversation turned out. Invariably the daughter may feel that the experience was worse than what her mom thought.

When that happens, mom feels like she has to defend her position. But it’s not the end of the world; just an opportunity to have a deeper understanding of what took place during that experience.

When my daughter was a teen, what I remember thinking was that I was a pretty understanding mom. According to my daughter, I was intolerant (and in her words – scary) 😞.

The good news was that I had a choice. I could modify my behavior so that we could hear and understand each other or I could decide that we just didn’t understand each other and never would. Feeling like a “bad parent” was the bad news.

As a parent, there are lots of uncharted territory, and if you feel guilty every time you do something that backfires, you’ll feel guilty A LOT! Plus your kids will use your guilt against you to get more privileges 😉.

After listening to many stories about challenges and misunderstandings that mothers and daughters face, I began conducting Mother & Daughter Teas. These events are fun, generate laughter, dress up, silly photos, yummy foods, good feelings and authentic conversations.

I conduct them in school settings, ideally on Saturdays (or Sundays after church). If you are interested in how this event can be conducted with your school’s parents reply to this email.

I have a limited number of dates between March and May, so don’t wait!

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

January 13, 2020 at 3:06 pm Leave a comment

Are You An Invisible Woman?

Have you ever felt like you didn’t matter? Like you were invisible? Earlier this year, I began feeling that I could be easily replaced with someone who was just as fantastic as me, but younger. I began to feel that age mattered. It’s a sad but true fact that so many women over forty feel invisible. Then I read about Deborah Boland and her story.

“One of the things that inspired me to do what I now do, after having had an executive position with a telecom giant, was an experience I had one day following one of my seminars.

An attractive, well dressed woman came up to me and told me that the thing she hated most about becoming older was that she felt invisible. She explained how, everywhere you look, you see woman in their twenties and thirties being presented as role models for beauty and style. Rarely do you see mature women in TV and print ads and some of the fashion magazines feature teenagers as models. There are only a few magazines devoted entirely to the mature woman – More Magazine is one of them.”

Just because we’re getting older doesn’t mean we have to become an invisible part of society. It doesn’t mean that we have to let ourselves go, gain weight and start looking frumpy. My aunt Mary, while in her eighties, looks like she just stepped off the cover of Vogue whenever she goes out.

A woman can still look great as she ages if . . . she learns how to do it. 

Many of the makeup techniques that work on a twenty or thirty-year old, are a disaster on the face of a forty-five year old woman.

Unfortunately, many older women have not yet learned this. As we age, one of the makeup secrets we need to know is that “Less is better.”

Mistakes in wardrobe are even more apparent. Recently, Deborah Boland was asked by a national magazine to comment on some celebrity women. Here’s what she had to say about an outfit that Kim Cattrall was wearing: “Belly bearing cutoffs and lace up top are not for the over forty woman. Longer, boy cut shorts and a fuller cut tank with a built-in bra would give her the same bare look.”

Below are some fashion anchors every woman over forty should have in her wardrobe:

  • A “Little Black Dress”
  • Black/Navy Pencil or A-Line Skirt
  • Black/Navy Slacks/Trousers
  • Black Cashmere Sweater
  • White Shirt
  • Comfortable yet Chic Black 2” heels
  • Classic Trench Coat

Fashion tips: Pants with clean lines, no pockets, no pleats look best on almost every woman because they are slimming.

Black or navy will make you look thinner, but add some color with accessories to give your look some flair. Elastic waist pants or skirts are to be avoided at all costs because they flatter no one.

Develop a signature. Wear a favorite ring or special bracelet all the time. Something people will always identify and remember about you.

The scarf should be a wardrobe staple. Learn how to use it and wear it many ways, such as, looped through your pants as a belt, or tied on the handle of your handbag.

If you want to learn more about Deborah’s insider techniques for looking fabulous after forty, fifty, sixty and beyond, visit: http://www.FabulousAfter40.com

Until next time, keep looking your best and claim your power.

Interested in learning more about yourself as a superwoman? Contact me – Finding Superwoman creator, C. Lynn Williams, to receive information about my inspiring work-life balance programs for corporate and entrepreneurial moms.

C. Lynn Williams, #FindingSuperwoman

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

December 26, 2018 at 9:25 am Leave a comment

This Was A New Lesson For Me

Have you ever had one of those weeks?

You know, the one where everything goes sideways?

I talk about it in this video blog. Click Here

 

 

 

 

 

Enjoy!

Are you a mom who wants less stress and more enjoyment out of life? Connect

Click Here to become a part of my Balanced Moms Facebook group.

C. Lynn Williams

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

 

October 20, 2018 at 10:55 pm Leave a comment

What International Womens’ Day Means to Me

As more and more women join #MeToo and #TimesUp campaigns, I think of what International Women’s’ Day Means to Me.

By supporting mothers and their daughters through my books, workshops, webinars and blogs, I truly believe that I stand with my sisters locally and globally in solidarity for our rights, safety, health and families. I also believe it’s important to tell our stories to encourage our daughters and the women we mentor to dream and fulfill those dreams.

As I think of the various global women’s movements that have occurred over the past year like women’s rights, equality and justice, I realize how relevant the 2018 theme is for International Women’s Day: #TimeIsNow: Rural and urban activists transforming women’s lives.

“We stand together in solidarity with our partners and children for the protection of our rights, our safety, our health, and our families – recognizing that our vibrant and diverse communities are the strength of our country.” Women’s March mission statement

As International Women’s Day comes and goes for 2018, how are you propelling the women’s movement forward? Change starts with a single positive thought, followed by a positive action. Be the change you want to see in our world.

Interested in joining a movement and making a difference? Join my Finding Superwoman movement and learn how to have it all. Click Here

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

March 8, 2018 at 8:39 am Leave a comment

Websites that Help You Get and Stay Organized and in Control

Want to get the knack for organizing your home and your life, but need of a little extra inspiration? Want some fresh ideas, or maybe you would just like to connect with like-minded people?  There are many different websites out there that provide a wealth of information, ideas and tips, as well as provide a place where people can go and share their own ideas, mistakes, and offer support to one another.  A few of the most popular home organization websites are listed next.

Visit FLYlady.net for tips on how to conquer the clutter in your life and how to overcome the CHAOS factor, which stands for Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome.  This group teaches you how to use an organizational journal and encourages you to shine your kitchen sink often.  Followers are often referred to as FLYbabies, and the group is currently over 300,000 members strong.  Visit this site at www.flylady.net.

Large comprehensive websites such as http://www.ivillage.com, http://www.msn.com, and http://www.google.com all have a wealth of articles and advice available for you on many different topics to help your home and life run more smoothly.  There are other groups out there that you can sign up for online to become a member of to chat with people, or there are various message boards available that you can post ideas, tips and suggestions on for other readers.

If you’re looking for websites that offer ingenious organizational and time-saving products, there are plenty of them to be found on the Internet.  Lillian Vernon, Harriet Carter, Rubbermaid and Kitchen-Plus.com all offer innovative and unique ideas for your home, office and car.

Various newsgroups and e-mail newsletters abound on the Internet.  Take some time and find a few of them that you have found to be useful, and subscribe to them so you’re always sure to get the latest time-saving tips and organizational ideas.

Interested in learning more about removing clutter out of your life? Contact me – C. Lynn Williams, founder of Finding Superwoman™, to receive information about my inspiring coaching programs: www.findingsuperwoman.com

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

Finding Superwoman™ Founder

www.clynnwilliams.com

January 17, 2018 at 1:17 pm 2 comments

Focus: A Necessity for Working Mothers

Focus 3…2…1 

How many times have you taken a picture and it was either blurry or unfocused? If the picture was on your phone and the object that you wanted to photograph was still available, you could retake the picture. Besides a daily dose of sanity and a refillable cup of faith, the one resource that I need as a working mother is Focus!

But what if the blurriness occurs every time you took a photo? You would either have the camera repaired or you replace it. Imagine if the blurriness is something that is taking place in your life day after day? As my mom used to tell me – “You’re stretched too thin.” I never felt like I was stretched too thin, however I learned to prioritize the things I needed (or wanted) to do. Some things had to be taken care of immediately and others could be completed at a later time. Through those times when I let everything build up and overwhelm me, was when I learned the  importance of focus.

As a working mother, you already have a full plate of busy because you work and raise children. If you are also married, your plate is even fuller. Add civic or social responsibilities and now your plate is completely running over. Whether you’re a mother in a two-parent household, a single parent household or you’re co-parenting; staying focused is a necessity to ensure a smoothly running work and family life along with a sane mind.

There are a many ways to stay focused. Here are two tools that I use daily:

Planning and To-Do Lists

Planning is my first tool of choice. Early in my first marriage, I realized that my parents and in-laws wanted us to share our holidays with them. Since they lived far apart from each other, I started talking about Thanksgiving plans no later than Labor Day weekend. Our kids’ summer break was usually solidified by Clean Up Week (spring break). As a divorced mom, my ex and I shared joint custody. Joint custody meant every other weekend, my kids spent the weekend with their father. Early in our marriage, as my husband and I blended our children into a blended family, we continued to share joint custody. Planning dates and time together was essential for our family, us (as a couple) and my peace of mind. Planning the kids’ schedules meant weekly conversations with the refrigerator calendar jotting down dates like band concerts, track meets, teacher conferences and school project supplies. Putting them on the calendar saved me from getting notes on my pillow starting with “Mom, I need…”Planning didn’t stop all surprises, but gave me peace and less tasks to juggle.

My other tool of choice is my To-Do list. While I don’t have the daily pleasure of raising children anymore, our youngest is 26. I am writing, speaking and coaching and my schedule is busier than ever. Between my entrepreneurial pursuits, community commitments and events that my husband has, we are busy. I no longer write things down on paper, because the pad of paper is never with me when I want to add another task. I now use the notepad in my phone. It works perfectly and I always have it with me. Writing things down at least reminds me of what I need to do and yes I prioritize the tasks so that I complete the most important ones first.

Is my life perfect? Hell no! But it keeps this busy working mom from tearing her hair out.

I would love to share more helpful tips with you or help you make calm out of chaos. I offer a complimentary discovery consultation to explore some of those areas you’d like to handle differently. Click here to schedule time with me.

C. Lynn Williams, #Ms. Parent Guru

www.clynnwilliams.com

May 11, 2017 at 10:30 am Leave a comment

Self-Care for Women Who Care

The phrase self-care is used a lot these days. It means practices and activities that we can do regularly to reduce stress and enhance our health and well-being. Remembering to take time for myself is something I have to do weekly if not daily.

As a busy woman, it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself especially if you are running a business, raising children or taking care of aging parents.

In my graphic at the top of this newsletter, are twelve simple things that you can do to practice taking care of yourself. Which ones appeal to you?

 

Here Are My 3 Favs:

  1. Be Positive. Creating a habit of positive thinking can transform not only the way you view the world, but how you move through it. Psychology Today 9/24/2014
  1. Have Fun. Children constantly invent ways to have fun. You can do the same thing! Have a play day, afternoon, or an hour where you do something completely FUN!
  1. Go Outside. When we were kids my parent’s favorite phrase was “Go Outside and Play”! I love being outside with Nature, whether it’s walking, jogging or messing around in my garden because it allows me to forget the issues that are on my mind. I usually have a solution when I take time with Nature. There’s something about being with Nature that uplifts and inspires me.

Are perfection issues derailing your relationships?

Text the word PERFECTION to 708-501-7060 to receive a neat gift and an opportunity to connect with me.

 

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Award-winning Author & Motivational Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

 

March 16, 2017 at 11:06 pm Leave a comment


Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 14,075 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 13,562 hits

Contact Info

(224) 357-6315
Online: 8 am - 8 pm

Follow me on Twitter


tembceducation

"From Crayon to Career" Resources to provide sustainabilty to your educational practices and training