Posts filed under ‘Parenting’
Six Tips for Being Better Parents
Avoid harsh discipline
Explain your role and decisions
Be involved in your child’s life
Guide your child through their mistakes and weaknesses
Live in the now
Be a parent, not pal
Happy birthday to my amazing first-born, **Candace**, who started me on this journey of parenting and being better. The first child is lucky because s/he pulls love and emotions out of you that you never knew existed. They are also your “experiment” child. You try techniques, other people’s thoughts and that firstborn is like a stew of everyone’s ideas of how you should raise your child.
Just remember that this is your child!
Follow your gut!
Have fun!
Make wonderful memories together!
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting coaching programs that help you through Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
What Do You LOVE About Dad
What do you love most about your father?
- His ability to make you laugh?
- His strength?
- His ability to make you feel safe?
- His wise advice?
- How he takes care of you?
Whether your dad is with you. you never knew him, or is now a memory as mine is, let’s celebrate Dads this weekend and thank God for them! Enjoy (and share) my Father’s Day prayer.
Prayer for Fathers
“Dear God, We thank you for the gift of Dads in this life. We thank you that you are the greatest Dad ever, Abba Father, and we know that you cover us in your great love.
We pray specifically for fathers and fatherhood across our land. Your Word clearly instructs fathers to bring up their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).
We pray for the single fathers out there; whether they are raising their children alone or even if they are doing the best they can with the time they have. We pray for strength, protection, wisdom, and discernment to help them through whatever trials they may be facing.
We pray for the dads out there who are being alienated from their children right now. We pray, that You would shield and shelter them from the pain and possibly the anger that may be rising up in them, for You to strike down the barriers that are hindering these dads from seeing their children.
Lord, we lift up the dads right now that are not stepping up to the plate as fathers, for whatever reason. we pray for their children and the moms who are parenting alone because of these men’s decisions. We pray You would step in as a father to the fatherless and a defender of widows in these situations, that their story would be another testimony that nothing is too hard for You.”
AMEN
Happy Fathers’ Day!
Interested in improving your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs and workshops for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Tell Me Something Good
Growing up, one of the worst things I could do was challenge my parents. Or more specifically, talk back. Not a good move as a kid.
In my young mind, I wasn’t talking back, just pointing out what they were doing wrong. In other words, I was responding to my parents in ways that I learned from them. I didn’t hear a lot of “good job” or “you’re a patient big sister”. The comments I received were more focused around what I could do better, or “why didn’t you think…”
You give back what you receive.
If you find yourself criticizing (your child) far more often than complimenting them, think about how you would feel, if you had a manager that treated you with negative guidance. Would it feel differently if the manager’s comments were well-intentioned?
Of course not. You would start to feel like crap.
A more effective approach is to catch your kid doing something right. Example: “You made your bed without being asked – that’s terrific!” Or “I was watching you play with your brother, and you were very patient.”
These statements will do more to encourage good behavior than repeated scolding and sarcasm. Make a point of finding something to praise every day. Be generous with rewards – your love, hugs and compliments can work wonders and often are reward enough. According to family psychotherapist, Virginia Satir, we need 4 hugs a day to survive, 8 hugs a day to maintain ourselves and 12 hugs a day to grow.[1]
Soon you will find you are “growing” more into the behavior you would like to see.
Interested in improving your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs and workshops for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
[1] https://free-to-live.com/how-many-hugs-do-you-need-a-day/
Being Friends With Our Kids
I remember one of my mother’s favorite phrases when I was growing up – “I am not here to be friends with you.”
I never wanted to be friends with her, I just wanted her to stop being so mean…
And then I had my own children…
What I found, was as my children became tweens and teens, I wanted to be friends with them. I wanted to laugh and enjoy them because they were growing into people that I loved and respected.
What I found out that was, being friends with my kids compromised me being their boundary setter, the consequence handler, the Mom that they could count on when they needed somebody to talk with them honestly; when they need the adult-in-charge to take over!
I found it difficult to be both friend and adult parent. So I too repeated my mom’s words: “I’m not here to be your friend, but you can count on me anytime and all the time.”
What I learned from my kids, is that when I gave them boundaries they felt safe, and I often heard them repeating the house rules to their friends. I liked that! Being the adult in charge is important because your kids don’t have to worry about who you are today. They know you are the person they can rely on when life is crashing and burning around them. 🔥 They won’t have to worry if you allow them to drink or smoke illegal substances (because you’re their friend) one day and other days it’s not tolerated. The lines are not blurred.
The friendship between the two of you will definitely come, probably when you’re both adults and they are making their own decisions. By then, sharing an alcoholic beverage is both legal and tolerated.
I help parents build the kind of communication and trust that allows relationships to grow and feel better. Call me to schedule a complimentary chat session or to book a seat in my coaching program.😘
Thanks for reading my blog. Follow me on Instagram and Twitter @MsParentguru.
C. Lynn Williams
clynnwilliams.com
What Mother’s Day Means to Me
As we approach Mother’s Day, I’m reminded of a question that I asked my Mom years ago as my sister and I were planning a Mother’s Day celebration for her. I wanted to know why she waited to confirm our activities (with her) until she had spoken with my grandmother – her mother. She told me as long as her mother was alive, she would celebrate Mother’s Day with her. My mom is no longer with me, and as a mom and grandmother, I now understand the “order of things“.
Here are 5 lessons that I learned from my mom:
- Be nice to people (you never now what they’re going through)
- Slow down and look at yourself in the mirror (you’re moving too fast)
- Have FUN
- When things are going awry (crazy), declare Divine Order
- Keep a credit card or mad money handy in case you need it
Those tips helped me through the sanest and the craziest times of my life. My mom was very practical! My mother wasn’t the affectionate type who constantly told me how much she loved me. That was okay, because she showed me how much I meant to her – that mattered.
Celebrate the love you have for mother figures in your life. I realize that some of us didn’t have the love relationship with our mothers. If so, I hope you had someone that nurtured you in loving ways. If you haven’t spoken in a while, pick up the phone and say hi. Mend the fence. Let go of those painful memories and make some new ones. Think of the other women who made life complete for you – grandmothers, aunties, your best friend’s mom and everyone else who held the space that mothers hold. Enjoy your weekend.
Life is too short to sweat the small stuff!
Happy Mother’s Day
C. Lynn Williams, @MsParentguru
How Are You Processing Change?
Usually for Lent, I give up something tangible like sweets 🍫 or carbs. It’s not easy, but I figure that it’s my sacrifice as I prepare for Easter.
With a year of sheltering in place, I decided I had had enough of tangible sacrifice and would look inside myself to see what needed changing. Unity Village puts out a wonderful spiritual practice for Lent guide every year, and the one they created in 2019 is what I have to read during this Lenten season.
“I fast from anger.”
“Sometimes the events of my life leave me disappointed, frustrated or irritated…” Unity School of Christianity
Today’s message seemed so appropriate with all that we have experienced over the last year: Covid-19, police brutality and social and civil unrest.
It seems like somebody opened Pandora’s box 📦 and there are a lot of unexpected “feelings” rising up in us like anger, resentment, disconnectedness and who knows what else. 🤯
Fasting from anger…
It’s not easy especially when you think about how contagious a n g e r is. Anger seems to travel like the coronavirus, undetected but deadly. Letting go of anger, disappointment, frustration, resentment, fault finding and their friends, takes commitment and practice. It could easily take 40 days to build a habit of letting go of anger.
You have a choice. Embrace peace and harmony. Make it an affirmation that you say over and over: I let go of anger and resentment. I embrace peace and harmony.
It may feel strange and fake. Keep saying it until it’s your own.
Be the drop of water 💦 that starts the change.
If you’re a father or stepdad, join me (and bring your daughter) for a Zoom discussion about relationships on Saturday, March 20th 10 am CDT. The Zoom link to join: http://bit.ly/3eViH63
C. Lynn Williams, @MsParentguru
How We Teach World Peace Matters
Let’s practice world peace for our children.
The Resilience of Youth
When my oldest daughter was five years old, we took a plane ride to California. The ride was V E R Y turbulent, and it was all I could do to keep calm and not run up and down the aisle screaming! To her, we were on a roller-coaster and it was fun!
Here we are many years later, dealing with a pandemic, the coronavirus, vaccines, work-from-home, remote learning, etc.
I find it hard to stay calm and positive.
But to our children: toddlers, a young child, your middle-school aged child; this is another moment in their life. A new adventure!
How you see the world, is how they see it.
Read further about what a group of UC Berkeley students is offering:
Looking to make friends and explore your interests during quarantine? Connect-In-Place is a FREE virtual program, launched by college students at UC Berkeley. We offer classes on everything from Intro to Programming to Bollywood Dance, as well as support groups and tutoring groups, all led by college students from top universities. So far we’ve served 3,300+ middle and high schoolers in our small, friendship-building classes. If you need some extra help, or just want to get excited about learning again, Connect-In-Place is the right community for you.
Session 5 (Feb 22 – March 20) sign-ups are open now and close Friday, February 19th at noon PT!
Register for Session 5:
tinyurl.com/cips5-middleschool
tinyurl.com/cips5-highschool
Stay safe and have fun!
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Educational Staycation Ideas for Homeschooling Families
Guest blog by Jenna Sherman, parent-leaders.com
With travel off the table for many families this year, it’s a good idea to come up with fun alternatives that can help break up the monotony of self-isolating and homeschooling. Use this guide for ideas on how to take an educational staycation, whether it’s doing science experiments in your backyard or getting a new challenging video game for your kids. If you need some support or help coming up with ideas, read C. Lynn Williams’ blog.
How to staycation
If your kids have been homeschooling for most of this year, it’s getting a bit old by now. Between video lessons and Zoom chats with their teachers, it’s likely they’re missing the social parts of going to school, not to mention recess. To help break up the monotony of homeschooling, it’s a great idea to come up with educational staycation options.
When you’re considering educational activities, think about subjects that genuinely interest your child. For kids who love science, help them come up with a science experiment they can do in the backyard. One fun option is building a rocket out of an old film canister, baking soda, and vinegar.
Or if your kid loves biology and the natural world, visit a forest or a park near your house and identify as many plant and animal species as possible. Encourage your child to start a journal to keep track, and visit every couple of weeks to add new species to the journal. Take a camera to record each species, and print off the photos so they can add them to their journal.
For kids who are interested in the culinary world, it’s a great idea to come up with some fun cooking or baking projects. Have them pick out their favorite meal or dessert, and hand over the recipe so they can be head chef. Help them where needed, but let them take the lead if they’re ready. Not only will you help them explore a new hobby, but you’ll also have some (hopefully) tasty meals or treats to enjoy as a bonus.
Extra-curriculars at home
One great option for kids who are into gaming is finding some educational and challenging video games. If your kid needs a break from their geography book, they might have more fun playing a game like Where on Google Earth is Carmen Sandiego? The game will help them learn the capitals of countries around the world and will help them learn to use the Google Earth tool. It’s free to play, and there are three different versions to keep your kids interested.
To help your child learn to solve problems, the Nancy Drew interactive mysteries series will keep your kid entertained for hours. The games are spinoffs of the original Nancy Drew book series that dates all the way back to the 1930s. There are 33 games in total, and they can be played on PCs, mobile phones, and some gaming consoles.
While video games often get a bad reputation for being addictive, there are actually many benefits. Not only do kids learn hand-eye coordination, but games also help promote cognitive skills such as problem-solving. And for kids interested in computers, gaming can help open up a learning opportunity in computer science.
Gaming can be great fun but is often frustrating if you don’t have an internet connection that can handle the workload. Be sure to boost your internet speeds if you want your kids to game at home, especially if other members of the household need the internet for work or school.
Homeschooling can be highly monotonous for kids, so coming up with fun staycation ideas will help keep them engaged. Educational staycation projects such as backyard science experiments and cooking or baking are great alternatives to lesson plans while still helping your kids learn. And if they need a break from the school grind, educational video games will be entertaining and beneficial for your young learners.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Essential Self-Care Tips for Exhausted Working Parents
Life as a working parent can be exhausting.
Continue Reading December 22, 2020 at 7:28 am Leave a comment
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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