Posts filed under ‘Parenting’
Modern Moms Embrace The Holidays đŠđ đœđ
Thanksgiving is right around the corner and Christmas soon after. How are you feeling? Is the stress building up?
I am so excited đ about seeing my new grandson Baby A, my kids and the many family members that will join us for dinner. However, I think about all of the things that need to get done đbefore we sit down to Thanksgiving dinner. It’s pretty overwhelming!
Iâm a list creator, so I’ll create a list of things that need to be done like grocery shopping (3 different stores), chop up onions and celery for the dressing, clean off my kitchen counter… đ©
One of the biggest things for me is deciding what to do first đ€? The second biggest thing I need to think about is who can I delegate the tasks to that I donât want to do??
What about you? Which best describes you getting ready for Thanksgiving or any other major holiday?
âI canât wait for the holidaysâ or âIâm exhausted just thinking about all that I need to do to get ready for the holidaysâ.
I have to admit that I love the holidays, but itâs also easy to feel completely overwhelmed, especially if you like things to be done perfectly. If youâre the type of person who has a thousand tasks, then creating a timeline will help you tremendously! A timeline also allows you to decide who can help you with tasks, whether other family members live with you or are willing to come by and help out.
If youâre a single parent and your kiddos are too young to help with the tasks, think about cutting down on some of the holiday tasks, so that youâre not overwhelmed. For example you may decide, not to decorate the outside of the house or perhaps you get an artificial tree instead of a real one because thereâs less clean-up after the holidays.
As you put together a timeline of the things that need to be done, be sure to schedule time for something fun for you too. Book a hot stones massage, attend a yoga class or schedule girlsâ night out.
Yes the majority of the responsibility for keeping holiday traditions and customs falls to âMomâ. But… it doesnât mean that we have to be exhausted and irritable once guests arrive.
I talk about these and more ways to help busy moms reenergize in my upcoming online course. There are five seats left. Reply to this email to hold your seat.
These concepts work whether you are married and busy or single and busy. Stop letting holiday blues get you down and letâs âdeck the hallsâ together.
Happy Thanksgiving đđŠ
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
8 Tips for Saving Money When Shopping for Halloween at Walmart
By guest blogger – Kristin Louis
The spooky season is upon us, and with it comes shopping and prep work. If youâre tight on money, it can be a bit intimidating to think of all the stuff you need to buy, especially with Christmas just a couple of months down the line. Thatâs why we have collected the best tips to save cash while shopping for Halloween at your favorite stores like Walmart.
Look for Rakuten Cash Back Opportunities
The single best thing you can do to save money while shopping at big-box retailers is to keep an eye out for coupons and promo codes. Rakuten is a great place to look, with hundreds of great deals at stores like Walmart, Target, Amazon, and Macyâs. So, before you start shopping, check out Rakuten to see what cash back opportunities are available.
Set a Budget
Before you start shopping, it helps to decide how much money you are willing to spend on Halloween. Bear in mind the costs of upcoming holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas, as well as how much you usually spend. The good news is that Halloween doesnât tend to be a particularly expensive holiday: the average American spends $86.79 a year on the holiday.
Buy Cheaper Pumpkins
If going to a pumpkin patch every year is part of your family tradition, you can skip this one. However, if all you want is a pumpkin you can carve with your family, chances are it will be a lot cheaper if you head to the grocery store or to a big-box store. A large pumpkin from a pumpkin patch can cost as much as $14 to $20, while Walmart sells them for as little as $5.
Get Crafty with Your Decorations
Why spend loads of money on mass-produced plastic decorations when you can achieve great results with some basic craft supplies and some creativity? Redbook has a great collection of craft projects that are perfect for working on as a family. Try the adorable paper bats or flower pot spider with young kids, or get teens involved in making some bloody-looking candles.
DIY Your Costume
Homemade costumes arenât just cheaper than their store-bought counterparts; they are also a lot more fun and creative. You can find loads of great homemade costume ideas online, from the super basic to more advanced and original projects like a disco ball or a cactus.
Have a Costume Swap Party
Another option if you want to save money on costumes is to organize a costume swap with friends or, if you have kids, with other parents. Green Child Magazine recommends setting up a costume swap in your local community and giving it enough time for everyone to get organized. The first Saturday of October is ideal, but any time around the start of the month also works.
Shop Around for the Best Candy Deals
Donât start panic-buying candy the second it comes onto the shelves. Most major stores have great bulk deals during the month of October, so it pays to be strategic. According to Good Housekeeping, some of the best places to buy candy this year are Target, Walmart, and Party City. Where possible, combine sales with those online coupons to get an extra good deal.
Makeup, Not Masks
Scary Halloween masks can be expensive, but thatâs not the only downside. As an adult, they are inconvenient and get in the way of drinking or eating, and for a child, they can be unsafe. Instead of buying a mask, learn how to do some cool Halloween makeup with tutorials. Bonus points if you can do it with regular makeup items you can pick up at the drugstore.
Halloween doesnât have to be expensive. In fact, the more creative you get with your costumes, decorations, and activities, the more fun you are going to have. Start planning your shopping now so you can focus on putting together the perfect Halloween for your friends and family. Then, once November rolls around, donât forget to look out for those deals on candy!
Happy Halloween!
Have a Son – Be Prepared to Be Swept Off Your Feet
My grandson is 7 months old and his personality is coming out more and more. Iâm always happy to hear about his latest discovery and activity. While my daughter and son-in-law believe in Baby A sleeping in his own bed, lately he has been sleeping in theirs.
My daughter says she woke up one morning and Baby A had his arm around her neck, like a boyfriend and she was amused. Her hubby wasnâtâŠ
Hereâs what I know:
Moms are the first âgirlâ that their son knowsâŠ
He quickly learns that she takes care of him a lot, especially if she is breastfeeding him.
She plays with him and he loves it, so he gives her attention and unconditional love.
Unconditional love is intoxicating like a delicious bottle of wineâŠ
You canât get enough of it.
As baby boys get older, they bring their âfavorite girlâ (Mom) flowers (dandelions), gifts (worms or rocks) and anything else that will make her smile. Mom of course loves the gifts and the attention, and now the sweeping off your feet is taking place.
There is nothing like a son. Depending on his home environment, he will always be concerned about âMomâ. Itâs a wonderful relationship to have as long as we remember that our sons will grow up, fall in love and leave home.
Let him and welcome the person that he chooses.
He will always be your son and you will always be his mother.
Interested in learning more about your familyâs dynamics?
Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
Lessons Learned Don’t Have to Be Seen As Mistakes
Last week, I was giving myself a good talking to because I kept finding mistakes with a project I was working on. Once I realized the negative self-talk that was happening in my head, I stopped and talked to myself. Now before you think Iâm crazy, think for minute about how you self-correct.
You do self-correct, right?
So, letâs get back to the mistakes⊠No one likes to make them; however, they are part of what makes us human, and often we learn more from mistakes than we do from anything else.
I reminded myself
that I was learning something new (about the topic and myself) and what was
important was the lessons that I was
learning. There was nothing wrong with making mistakes. What the
Universe was also showing me, was that I consider myself a lifelong learner. How
can you be a true learner, without making mistakes.
Hereâs what I was saying to myself: I was so ready to beat
myself up and throw in the towel! What was wrong with me? Why was I making so many
mistakes?
I thought about these negative messages and wondered if my peers (that are women) talk the same way to themselves? And, do my peers that are men talk to themselves the way we women do when they make mistakes?
I also had to tell myself that I learned more that day from that series of mistakes than I learned when I do things in what I consider an organized way.
The other question that I thought about on that day, is how many of us, self-correct the negative thoughts we have before we talk to our children and/or the people that work for us?
Lessons learned donât have to be seen as mistakesâŠ
They are just lessons learnedâŠ
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
The Voices Heard Before Suicide
Suicide is a profound tragedy…
My daughter was a young girl when my brother committed suicide. I was devastated. He had been suffering with a chronic illness and told us he was praying to die, while we prayed for him to live.
He had talked about dying years before that because he was so unhappy. Suicide is seldom unplanned, and victims leave clues.
It is up to us to pay attention to those clues and intervene. That’s easy to say, and harder to do. There are lots of external influences that will make it challenging to notice the clues.
These days children are dealing with life issues that they don’t want to talk about. Bullying. Sexual abuse. Peer pressure. Parental expectations. Excelling in school. These issues are further exacerbated by the separatism that technology provides. Many of these issues young people face without appropriate coping skills. When an unpleasant event occurs they feel that life canât go on and so they attempt suicide or they are successful. đ€Ż
I recently heard the story of a good kid who received detention at school and then was reprimanded by his s parents at home. Concerned that he had jeopardized his chances to get into a Ivy League school for college; he committed suicide. Did he leave any clues that he was fragile?
What about the girl who can no longer face school or online bullies and decides that suicide is a better alternative to living. What behaviors did her parents notice before she took her life?
How do we stop this madness?
Suicide is beyond devastating! Itâs really bad when it happens to a child that you think is safe; has a good life; and looks normal.
Are there warning signs? Theyâre probably arenât many if any unless you are watching intently and you are in tune with your child; even then thereâs no guarantee that you will be aware of whatâs going on.
Here is what I can tell you:
âą Watch for changes of behavior
âą Mood swings
âą Quiet and withdrawn in an otherwise outgoing joyous kid
Thereâs no guarantee that youâll catch the clues then, but it least if you start a conversation beyond ‘how was your day’; if you talk about how to build resilience; if you let your child know that there is nothing worth taking their life over…
Have those hard conversations now when everything is good. Let your child know that correcting their behavior is your job, but that you are always proud of them and love them.
Interested in learning more about your familyâs dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
Do You Know the Difference Between Nurturing and Spoiling?
A spoiled child or spoiled brat is a derogatory term aimed at children who exhibit behavioral problems from being overindulged by their parents.
Do You Know the Difference Between Nurturing and Spoiling?
Letâs test your parental emotional quotient (EQ):
- Whatâs your response when your child falls (after you just told him to stop running) and he skins his knees?
- You hug him and remind him that if heâs not careful, he can fall and hurt himself.
- You scold him for running and tell him it was his fault that he fell.
How you answer that question has everything to do with how you were raised and what sense of security you are instilling in your child.
To have a happy, outgoing child, requires that you treat him (her) with patience, openness, love and kindness. You will not spoil your child by giving them hugs and kisses. You will cultivate a child that understands what love feels like and how to be kind.
Behavior correction (Discipline) is needed too, as long as itâs done:
- In moderation
- Age appropriately
- With clarity so that the child understands why
Often we may respond harshly or sarcastically to our child when what we really feel is our own fears (taking over) and feeling uncertain about how best to respond.
Depending on how we were treated as a child, nurturing was considered spoiling a child. There are many adults who are nurture-deficient and are looking for ways to feel better about who they are.
Spoiling a child is giving in to her (his) whims over and over. Nurturing a child is comforting them (mistakes made or not), listening without judgement, and caring how they feel.
I grew up in a generation where a childâs feelings were seldom taken into account unless he or she was sick. She was considered clingy if she needed hugs and kisses. Most likely she was told to âgrow upâ or âstop being a babyâ.
I wanted well-adjusted, emotionally stable children, so I hugged a lot , and loved them as much as possible. As I matured, I learned to listen more.
My best advice is to follow your heart when it comes to your children. If it feels right to sit and hold them…
Give lots of hugs and kisses. Listen… alot.
If your parents or in-laws harass you about âspoilingâ your kids, tell them like I told my father-in-law:Â âyou canât give too much love to your kids.â
Have daddy-daughter issues? My newest book, Daddy & Daughter Thoughts, addresses the complex and ever-evolving relationship between fathers and their daughters. Download your copy here: https://amzn.to/2JhPD8y
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author
What Babies Mean When They Cry
We were flying to Charleston, SC and there were lots of families on the flight with babies or young children. Two toddlers got my complete attention because of how intense and long their cries were. Both were toddler boys and the one on the airplane cried for about 30-45 minutes – probably because his ears were popping as we descended. I felt so sorry for him and his mom.Â
The other little boy was strapped in a stroller (at the airport) and none of his âkinâ would take him out and soothe him. He was miserable!
I â€ïž watching children and their parents interact just because… Kids make parents earn their parent wings everyday because they are so unpredictable. Yet if you are in tune with your baby or very young child, you will be able to interpret what their crying means.Â
Since babies and often young children canât communicate in words we understand, their crying means different things at different times. A baby may cry if she’s too hot or cold, if she’s lonely, if she needs a change of scenery and wants to move around, or if she just needs to “let it all out.”
I suspect if the child in the airplane had been allowed to walk up and down the aisle, he would have settled down.
Here are several reasons that babies cry:
âą I’m hungry –
Listen for: A low-pitched, rhythmic, repetitive cry, combined with other signals such as rooting for the breast, a sucking motion with her tongue, lip-smacking, or putting her fingers into her mouth.
My grandson does this and my daughter says to him âOh youâre hungry huh?â They understand each other perfectly.
âą I’m tired or uncomfortable –
Listen for:Â A whiny, nasal, continuous cry that builds in intensity is usually baby’s signal that she’s had enough (as in, “Nap, please!” â usually accompanied by yawns, eye-rubs or ear-tugs) or is otherwise uncomfortable (“I need a clean diaper” or “I can’t get comfortable in this car seat”).Â
You will notice this in malls where Mom has been shopping and forgotten that her baby is on a schedule. The baby starts with a mild cry that builds in intensity. âHurry up and take care of me Mom!â
âą I’ve had enough –
Listen for: Get ready for a fussy, whiny cry. She may try to turn her head or body away from over stimulating sights or sounds.Â
This is a good time to change sceneries. If you are in a noisy place, move to a quieter area and rock the baby until he settles down.
This also happens when your baby or toddler is beyond tired. They are fighting sleep. You will have to settle them down, so that they can fall asleep.
Rub their back, say soothing things, or play relaxing music. There is a wonderful app by Calm that plays all kinds of music to help babies through adults relax.
âą I’m bored –
Listen for:Â This cry starts out as coos (as baby tries to get a good interaction going), then turns into fussing (when the attention she’s craving isn’t coming), then builds to bursts of indignant crying (“Why are you ignoring me?”), alternating with whimpers (“C’mon, what’s a baby got to do to get a cuddle around here?”).
This is easy. Pick your child up; engage them; laugh and talk to them. It makes me crazy when people say âYou spoil your child when you pick them up.â I guess at some point, you can spoil your child, but pick them up, talk and play with them, so that they are emotionally secure. 
The power of touch and engagement is really important to a childâs emotional growth, self esteem and sense of security.
Go have fun with your child!
Interested in learning more about your familyâs dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
Chocolat and Dad
One of my favorite movies is Chocolat, and I like it is because of the title. The other reason is that Johnny Depp is in it. â„
In the past, I was drawn to this movie because, I like how the star of the movie and her daughter move into a very tight-knit (closed) community, and change the hearts of the townspeople. (No spoiler alert here!)
Anyway, I watched Chocolat the other night, and saw something that I hadnât noticed beforeâŠ
I never noticed the relationship between the dad and his daughter. As carefree as he was, he was super protective of his daughter, and enjoyed spending time with her. But he wasnât the huggy, kissy type. That reminded me of my relationship with my father.
In my dadâs later years, that was what he shared with me â his feelings for my siblings and me. It wasnât something that I noticed growing up. As a matter of fact, I remember my dad being nonchalant and aloof. Thatâs how man were taught to feel in his generation.
In honor of the hundreds of millions of misunderstood dads, Iâve written a book called â Daddy and Daughter Thoughts, which will be released this summer. Look for another email to pre-order your copies.
To those of you with a great relationship with your daughter (father), enjoy your time with each other! If you havenât spoken to your daughter (father) in years, and you have a way to contact her (him), reach out and make a connection. It may feel awkward at first, but keep trying.
If your daughter (father) has passed, pull out those memories of the fun times and remember your relationship with love.
Happy Fathersâ Day!
The Skinny on Social Etiquette
When I was a little girl, we were taught manners. How we acted (or misbehaved) reflected on our parents. We were taught to say please and thank you. People had manners and even if they were giving you “bad news”, it was said nicely… Manners was another way to say “good home training”.
Nowadays, manners are called “social etiquette” and as parents, we can begin teaching “manners” when our kids are newborns.
Click here to watch my vlog: https://youtu.be/QppSsO8e0k8
Leave a comment below on whether manners influenced you as a child, and how it influences your child’s life.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Hey Parents What Are You Wearing?
When I was growing up, there were certain things that I could wear while playing outside (like shorts) that I couldn’t wear off the block. My mom and dad were really particular about how we looked and the impressions we would make on other people.
Not only was my mother specific about what we wore or didnât wear, she and dad had a specific way they dressed as well. One of the family rules was no rollers out of the house. which simply meant that your hair was combed and you had on appropriate clothes and shoes. My father was formal (old school) and wore a shirt, usually a tie and pants. Depending on where he was going, he had on a brim. The only time he had on house slippers was in the house.
There was no way my mother wouldâve come out of the house with her house slippers or anything that looked like pajamas either. As she put it, she would never want to embarrass her familyâs name or ours.
Fast forward to todayâs times where some parents show up to their childâs school dressed really bad! So I wasnât surprised to read the article yesterday where the Houston principal, Carlotta Brown gave her parents a dress code when coming to school. She was tired of them showing up inappropriately dressed and setting bad examples for her students.
To all of the haters who disagreed with the principalâs rules, saying that it was discrimination against those parents who had low income. I disagree! Have one dress or shirt (blouse) and pair of pants that looks respectable. And wear that – even if you wear the same outfit every time you attend a school event.
Itâs really about the kids and the role that you play in your childâs life. It is completely inappropriate to wear see-through clothing around adolescents – your childâs or someone elseâs. Talk about early sex education! âHey John, I could see through your Momâs blouse! Sheâs hot!â How embarrassing is that? Also leave the hair bonnets at home too. They are just to protect the hair while you sleep.
I know you believe that as an adult you can do whatever you want.
You can!Â
Just remember that everything you do reflects back on your children and sets an example (for the rest of their lives) whether you like it or not.
Just my two cents worth.
Learn more about your familyâs dynamics. Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to be a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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