Posts filed under ‘Parenting’
5 Brain Warm-up Exercises for Mental Clarity
Mental clarity is essential to our health and success, and luckily it can be restored very easily, and very quickly. Here are 5 fantastic brain warm-up exercises that can be done in the morning to encourage mental clarity, leaving you with a mind as clear as a blue sky.
1. Find a Noun for Each Letter of the Alphabet
This simple exercise gets both sides of your brain to work together and it’s quite enjoyable too. Go through the alphabet and think of a noun (the more unusual the better) for each letter. Your left brain will help you to think of the word, and your right brain will imagine what the noun looks like (color, size, shape). This exercise gets the entire brain to focus and eliminates brain fog.
2. Classical Music
Studies have shown that music (especially classical music) can have a significant effect on our brain function, mental state and mood (it’s called The Mozart Effect). 
Calming pieces of classical music can slow down your heart rate, which decreases blood pressure and lowers the level of stress hormones in the body. A stress-free mind is a clear mind, and this can be even more effective if you play the instrument yourself.
Fun fact: surgeons have been known to perform surgery while listening to classical music!
3. Yoga
We know exercise is a healthy way to relieve stress, but yoga is even better because it combines exercise and meditation to de-clutter the mind. When a person is holding a yoga pose, their mind is focused on their breathing and staying still so much so that other thoughts are removed. Kickstart your day with some mind-clearing yoga poses such as ‘Warrior I Pose’ or ‘Tree Pose’, which really diverts your focus to breathing and balance.
4. Brain Dumping
Brain dumping is about transferring all of the thoughts in your head onto paper a bit like journaling. All that’s needed for this exercise is a notebook Start jotting down any tasks that you haven’t done (big or small) and anything else that seems to have gotten the best of you. 
By writing down tasks you’ll gain more clarity in terms of prioritization, making it much easier to focus on the important tasks and leave the trivial ones to be dealt with later on. Brain dumping relieves you of that panicky feeling where you stress so much about all of the things that you need to do, that you can’t do them.
5. Brain Games
Games such as sudokus, crosswords and math quizzes are a great way to clear brain-fog. Whether you prefer mathematical problems or word games, a brain puzzle in the morning will stimulate the mind and improve brain function. Puzzles also improve memory and reduce the likelihood of brain degeneration in your later years!
Finally…
Did you know that there are many other ways that mental clarity can be attained? These include making sure that you’re hydrated, eating a balanced diet for the vitamins and minerals that the brain needs to function, physical exercise to release serotonin (the feel-good hormone), and getting enough sleep so that our brains are rested.
Combining a healthy lifestyle with any of the above exercises in the morning will leave your brain clutter-free and ready to concentrate on the important tasks of the day.
I would love to hear what you do to achieve mental clarity?
When I coach my clients about finding their superwoman, I encourage them to discuss what’s really bugging them and determine what is most important in their life: work, family or relationships. I believe that you can have a wonderful relationship with your partner and your children as well as a successful career.
If you need help moving forward, Click Here to schedule a complimentary discovery session.
C. Lynn Williams
Award-winning Author & Founder of Finding Superwoman™
www.clynnwilliams.com
The Importance of Setting Boundaries
Has anyone ever stood too close to you in an elevator? How did you feel? It was uncomfortable right?
Not only do I feel a little claustrophobic in a crowded elevator, I also feel that way when tasks start to pile up on me and I allow them! I don’t say NO! In the past, there 
were a lot of reasons that kept me from saying NO – my environment, my upbringing, my willingness to please; all kept me from saying “No I can’t do that for you.” It didn’t matter whether the request was work-related, friends, or family members.
I realized that I did not set boundaries for myself. I would do the task, but be angry about it. I’d say to myself – “I can’t believe they asked me to do this!” It wasn’t until I realized that I was the only one who could control this. The only way I was going to have time to myself, was to allow myself to set boundaries around what I would and would not do.
Depending on your culture, upbringing, or social status, the only time women feel comfortable setting boundaries is when they don’t feel good. Society understands when women are sick and can’t do something as opposed to not wanting to.It’s a big difference between wanting to do something and not having the resources, and not wanting to do something and not knowing how to say no. Setting boundaries is a way of caring for you. 
Just like with any other habit that we begin, start practicing by saying No. Practice setting boundaries on what you’re willing and unwilling to do. Give yourself permission to say no to things that you really don’t want to do. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but just like with any other habit that you practice, you will be surprised at how comfortable you feel and how it begins to relieve the stress and the anxiety that you experience when you take on yet another project that you really don’t have the time or the desire to do.
As entrepreneurs and busy businesswomen, our success is predicated on making wise decisions. Not just making wise decisions for our businesses, but for ourselves as well. Our male counterparts do it every day. How often has your significant other said no to you? It’s just one little task that needed to be done, and he said no? Don’t get mad at him. Just learn to do it more often – for you. #setboundaries
Interested in learning more about how to control the stresses in your life and maintain balance? Contact me – to receive information about my inspiring coaching programs for working and entrepreneur mothers.
Click Here to become a part of my Finding Superwoman Facebook community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Founder of Finding Superwoman, Author & Speaker
Question for You!
What should you do if you don’t like your kid? “I didn’t want a child, but my husband did. So we had a child. She is cared for by my husband and his parents. She is 4, and talks constantly. She’s driving me crazy. What can I do?”
(This question was posed on one of my online networks for parents, and it really touched my heart)
How would you advise this mom? I’d love to hear back from you. I’ll print the first 5 responses (serious answers only, no sarcasm please) in next week’s blog.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
www.clynnwilliams.com/contact
What Makes Us Hold On to Our Sons
I remember feeling happy when I got pregnant with my second child. But I wondered where would I find love to give this new child, when all of my mother love was going to my first-born – my daughter Cand.
Mums and Babies
Then Al was born and God opened up my heart to give lots of love to this new baby. It was amazing how differently I felt about this kid – this son of mine. There isn’t anything that you wouldn’t do for your son and that’s pretty cool while he’s a baby or a young boy. He’s so lovable, and the thing about boys is that they graciously allow you to take care of them. As his mom, you’re his first love and he’s pretty possessive about. It doesn’t matter whether you are married to the love of your life, or you’re a single mom, those boys really attach themselves to your heartstrings and hold on. Usually that possessive love only lasts while they are young boys. However, we’ve gotten used to the attention. So we try to everything we can to preserve that feeling of love by giving our sons, our time, money, support – everything!
The problem occurs when you’re still doing everything for him into his adult years. You’ve taken care of him throughout his teen years, his college years (or working years), and haven’t required him to take care of himself. He’s your #PamperedPrince, lock, stock & barrel! Not only are you taking care of him well into his adult years. You don’t celebrate the women that he’s brought for you to meet and approve of. You find fault with each one of them – they’re not good enough for your son. 
What makes us (as moms) hold onto our sons so tightly? I can think of three reasons:
- We are afraid our sons won’t love us if we stop taking care of them
- No one else will love us like our sons
- Our sons won’t do the right thing without our constant guidance
Here’s the truth – none of those statements are true! If you’ve been consistent in your love, discipline and guidance for your son, he will be okay. If you’re a single mom, make sure to give him positive, trustworthy male role models. He may do things just like you want or he might do things you would prefer he didn’t do, but trust the process. Let him go. Allow him to grow up and become the man you always knew he would be! He’ll make you proud.
Interested in learning more about your mother-son dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
How Well Are You Managing Your ADULT Pampered Prince?
I keep running into women who tell me these incredible stories about how their moms (and dads) are still taking care of their brothers. Mind you we aren’t talking about teen or college-aged sons, but sons in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and 50’s. Depending on the situation, taking care of your adult son, means you are paying his rent, car note, buying groceries, washing his laundry or he’s still living with you.
Portrait of a mother and her young adult/late teen son.
While there are cultures where the children stay home until they marry, the son or daughter is either in school or working. These are not the families I’m talking about. I’m referring to those households where no matter what the son has done, mom defends him. I experienced this while teaching at an all-male high school. If my student had cheated on a test or plagiarized a paper, his mom wanted to know what was I doing to cause her son to cheat or plagiarize. Crazy!
I’ve also been guilty of zealously taking my son’s side when I thought his father or stepdad was being too harsh with him. But here’s the thing I’ve learned: the more you defend your son to his father, stepdad, teacher, or whomever – the more your son feels that he can do whatever he wants without consequences. You see it in toddler boys. Often his behavior is considered cute even when he says “shut-up” or hits you back. It’s a different story when he tells you to shut up and he’s six or 16. Then it’s not cute. Hold him accountable when he’s a teen and doesn’t want to stay in school. It’s not okay to let him quit just because he can’t get along with his teacher or coach.
As a divorced mom, I thought I was raising my son properly. At the time, it was hard hearing any criticism of him. Not that I thought he was perfect, more that I felt it reflected badly on my parenting skills. In my The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son book, I talk about how teaching at the all-male high school made me a better parent. I required my students to follow my class rules, complete their assignments on time and be respectful. When they didn’t, I had consequences for them. As I thought about it, I realized those same rules applied to my own son – my pampered prince. It was a great AHA moment for me! 
Today as I watch the news and hear from mothers who vigorously defend their son’s behavior, I think about the importance of holding those sons accountable at an early age. Saying “shut up” at two and three years old isn’t cute, it’s disrespectful. If you allow that behavior to continue, you’re creating a monster. Just like you teach your son to read, write and count. Teach him to be accountable for what he does, and to be respectful of others – those who look like him and those who don’t. If life brings him back home to live with you (as an adult), remember he is an adult and can take care of himself. Washing his clothes and cooking meals for him is not going to encourage him to move out of your house, or make him good material for marriage!
#StaySane
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to pick up a copy of this book. 
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
Parents: Need Help With Your ROUTINES?
When I was growing up, getting ready for my new school year was a BIG deal! We didn’t have school uniforms to worry about, but getting first day outfits and our routines in place was top on my mother’s list of To-dos. My mom was the queen of organization and routines,! Everything was a well-organized process. 
As a kid, her routines were a pain in the neck. But what I didn’t know was that each routine she established for us, made it easier to run the household and manage my brother, sister and I. She rarely got rattled, unless of course we didn’t follow the routine. And it wasn’t good when we didn’t follow Mom’s routines. Her processes and routines were like growing up in a well-run manufacturing plant. Everything had a place (organization) and there was a routine for mornings (before school), afternoons (after school) and evenings.
As I got older, my mother explained her rationale behind her fanatical routines and why it was so important to get us involved at an early age. For example, she had a rule that we couldn’t take our afternoon naps until we had put away our toys. This is important for those of you with young children who hate to take naps (like I did). She had me convinced that I couldn’t go to sleep UNTIL my toys were put in the toy box. I didn’t think to say – “Hey Mom, I don’t want to take a nap at all!” All I knew what that I couldn’t put my toys away fast enough to take my nap. The key here is that you start teaching your children at two & three years old to pick up their toys. It’s much easier to get their cooperation at this age, rather than wait until they are five & six to teach this concept.
As much as I joke about my mother and her routines, they worked well for me when I became a mom. I have an entire list of practical ti
ps to help you establish routines whether your children are in preschool, elementary or high school. For today’s blog however, I will share 5 tips with you.
- Tip 1: Give yourself 45-60 minutes before you wake up your child(ren).
This time without little people talking to you is golden. Pray/meditate/exercise and take your shower. If you are leaving the house for work, put on your make-up. This is important especially to do before your preschool aged children (who are not used to doing tasks without your help and may not be morning people) get up. - Tip 2: Wake up your child (ren) an hour before they have to leave home.
This tip goes hand in hand with Tip 1, if you have children who don’t like getting up in the mornings. It’s nothing like rushing a cranky kid out of the house. An hour may not be enough time (you be the judge), but it gives your son or daughter time to get acclimated to being awake, talking with you and their siblings and getting ready for school - Tip 3: Establish a bedtime for ALL school aged children (even high schoolers) preferably by 8:30 pm.
I know I know! The teen can’t believe you’re making him or her go to bed at a specific time (without their phone and iPad). Surely the world is going to end! I had an 8:30 pm bedtime throughout my high schools years and I hated it. I also hated getting up at 5 am to make it to my 8 am classes way across town. As an educator, if my students got sleepy in class, we would talk about their bedtime and often they were allowed to talk on their cell phones throughout the night. AMAZING! How do you function with raging hormones, lots of class work, extracurricular and no sleep? - Tip 4: Look in their backpack (daily).
When our children start pre-school, it’s a given that you will check their backpacks daily. It’s important because you may be putting in a change of clothes daily and who wants to leave soiled clothes in a backpack overnight? Yuck! But once your child starts elementary school, a daily backpack check is just as important to keep up with notes and homework assignments that are being sent home by their teacher. It not only keeps you up to speed on what’s going on in class, it helps your child with organization. - Tip 5: Connect with your middle & high schoolers every day.
This is near and dear to my heart for two reasons. One: bullying is rampant in middle school and high school. I ran home from school every day in fifth grade because of a school bully and it was a nightmare. My mom helped me get to the point where I wasn’t afraid of the school bully, but it was a process. Since I share a room with my sister, there was no retreating to my room and closing the door. My folks wouldn’t hear of it. Fast forward to today with social media and instant communications, I would have probably tried to hide what was going on by retreating to my room and silently burying my shame. Two: Middle and high schoolers have LOTS of secrets. Taking time to have a real conversation daily is important. You never know what they will tell you. BTW – ask open ended questions like “tell me about your day”.
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me to receive information about my inspirational & practical parenting programs. Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
www.clynnwilliams.com
Parenting: Good cop Bad cop!
I was listening to a commercial and the mother was saying she didn't understand why the kids never listen to her, and then the father yells "who wants ice cream?"
Is that how parenting goes in your household? One of you sets the guidelines or rules, and the other has fun with the kids!?
In a household with two parents, there is generally one parent who tends to be the disciplinarian, and the other one who the kids go to because that parent usually says yes. When that happens doesn't it feel like good cop bad cop?
I remember feeling like the bad cop, because I consistently enforced our rules. My ex was more flexible than I was, and was known to change his mind and agree with the kids! 😡 We had to talk privately to make sure that we agreed, so that the good cop bad cop episodes didn't happen a lot!
As a single divorced mom I had to balance being the bad and good cop. I never really thought about it that way until during one of family talks, the kids explained that their dad listened more than I did and was 'nicer'. 😟 While I wasn't trying to win the Nice Parent award, I wanted my children to be comfortable and talk easily around me. I've written about this dynamic in my Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen book.
It's a little easier if you think of it as there are times when you like your kids to follow your rules and behave a certain way, and then there are also times when you want to concentrate on having fun: The having fun part is challenging for you if you are a strict disciplinarian. It may be a little difficult in the beginning relaxing your rules a bit, but you'll get used to it. Your kids will enjoy your flexibility too.
Here's one example of a good cop parenting scenario: Instead of having your dinner in the traditional way – meat, potatoes, salad and vegetables. Eat the dessert first! Make a big deal about it too, so your kids understand that you're making an exception. It's fun and a great conversation starter.
If your delightful child is moving into moody preteenville, pick up a copy of my book – Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen and read about how to navigate the impending hormones. Purchase Here
C. Lynn Williams #MsParentguru
What Happens When You Make Time for Conversations…
If you ever wondered how in the world it is, that you and your mother could get along so well most of the time, and then all of a sudden something happens and your communications come to a dead halt! 
Mother-daughter relationships are one of the most rewarding and challenging relationships in the family structure. It’s a complex relationship because of the range of emotions that are shared between you and your mother. You could be best friends, mortal enemies or somewhere in between.
Motherhood is one of the toughest jobs on the planet, as well as the most rewarding. Raising a daughter is really CHALLENGING! Daughters are opinionated, bossy and emotional creatures. When they are happy, their community of friends knows about it, and when they are unhappy, the whole world knows about it. However, having a close, warm, wonderful relationship with your daughter is a priceless, lifelong experience! According to SixWise.com, 88 percent of adults say that their mother has had a positive influence on them.
When I was a teen, I remember thinking how little my mom knew about me. I had secrets because … well because I didn’t think she would approve of them. It was hard to gain her approval, and I believe that had she not tried to hold down two jobs to support my sister, brother and I, she and I may have had a different relationship.
The first time I shared how I felt, was when I wanted to wear pants to high school. It was a brand new dress code policy and my mom was completely against it! “You’ll sit with your legs open like a boy!” It took my best friend and I a good hour to wear down her defenses, and I learned that she wasn’t completely unreasonable. I just had to have a great argument. She taught me not to give up so easily.
The more I talked with my mother, the more I grew to trust her judgement. We were entirely different people, but I believe I taught her lessons too. After having raised my own daughter and spent time with my bonus daughter, I know for a fact that time means everything to this complex relationship between mothers & daughters. Daughters may listen to you while they are adolescents (7 years and younger), but once they start interacting with their peers, they will quickly develop opinions of their own and tell them to you. Spending quality time with them, allows the defenses to come down, and for love to permeate your conversations – even the difficult ones. Each daughter requires her own time with you to create the warmth and love that you want in your relationship. Invest time in her and nurture her like a beautiful bed of roses. You won’t be disappointed in how your relationship blossoms.
Our next live mother-daughter time is important webinar is scheduled for Tuesday, July 18th at 12 pm (CDT) and it’s titled “Why Mother & Daughter Time is Important?” Here’s the link to register: Click
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Coach & Author
5 Tips to Managing Your Time
Have you ever said I’ll do that later, only to find that there were at least 3 more things waiting for you to complete…later? For the next 2 ½ minutes, read this carefully and take notes. I am giving you five free tips for mastering your time management. Truly these tips will transform your chaotic day into a calm experience. For years, I had an issue with time. It’s not that I couldn’t arrive on time; it’s making sure that what I was leaving had been completed. For example, I hate leaving the house with tasks undone like cleaning up the kitchen, putting a load of clothes in the wash or finishing one of my tasks as an entrepreneur.
Here’s the secret. I suffered from that syndrome that many working mothers experience in their everyday lives. Perfectionism! I don’t know about you, but I was taught that having a clean, orderly house was my responsibility. Nobody told me to go out and be successful, and by the way, don’t worry about your house. It’ll take care of itself! I also was not taught how to manage household activities as a successful entrepreneur. I did learn it and offer it as one of the lessons in my Kick the Chaos coaching program.
Managing your time is a skill that you want to develop into a habit. Being successful in business may mean you won’t have a clean house. Look at your guy friends or your spouse. When they have appointments or meetings, they are out the door. I know this is true for my husband. It doesn’t matter what’s not operating perfectly (or imperfectly in our home), he practices good time management. ALWAYS!
Clearly in business, timeliness is next to godliness and having a reputation that you can’t make it to meetings or events on time can discredit your credibility. If you have children at home, getting them out of the house (on time) can also impact your schedule. You’re ready for success, aren’t you?
Try these simple tips:
- Set your intention to manage your time today.
Decide today that you are going to manage your time. I learned a long time ago that thoughts are things and if you want to attract specific things into your life, you have to change your thoughts. (It works!)
- Do it now or set a reasonable date for later.
Don’t obsess over what needs to be done. Decide what your most urgent tasks are and do them. If time does not permit this, schedule the tasks on your calendar.
- Make a list of what you want to complete.
I am a big proponent of creating lists, because my dominant learning style is visual and seeing a picture of my daily to dos, keeps it fresh on my mind. Depending on how urgent they are or how many I have, I schedule them in my phone.
- Give yourself time to be on time.
I learned this habit before my kids were born. Take your shower and put on your make-up when you first get up in the morning. For health enthusiasts and meditation gurus like me, pray and work out, then take your shower and put on your make-up. I find that giving myself time to be on time, means I have to work smartly.
- Stop Rushing!
Successful entrepreneurs and business women give themselves time to get to their places of business or meetings. Speeding down the highway and honking your horn before the light turns green is not going to help you make that meeting in a timely fashion. Giving yourself 15 extra minutes allows for unexpected delays.
Become a master by practicing these five time management tips daily. You are on your way to a transformed life.
Imagine what it’s like have great time management and work-life balance!
If you are struggling to make this happen, click Here and schedule a complimentary discovery session with me. Want to be a part of something big? Click Here to join my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, creator of Finding Superwoman™
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
www.clynnwilliams.com
Manners Matter
Have you ever seen something and wondered – ‘Did I just see that!’ 
I was driving on the expressway and traffic was really congested. In broad daylight a man pulled over to the side of the road and proceeded to pull out his genitals and use the bathroom! WHAT?!? Seriously!?! I thought what kind of home training did he have?
In another situation, a woman begins to talk on her phone. You can hear the voice on the other end of the phone because she has her caller on speakerphone. Why?
I met with one of my clients last week, at a public playroom for kids, since she had her kiddos with her. The playroom reminded me of when my kids were invited to places to play with each other while parents got to know each other. The biggest difference between then and now is that a few of the parents were on their phones while their child played.
What she did next got my attention. Before allowing her son to play with the other kids, she reminded him of the ‘house rules‘. The house rules were her expectations of his behavior. “Play nice.” “Hitting is not a way to resolve a problem.” Her little guy was only 4 1/2 years old, but he was being taught how to handle conflict and remain mannerable! She said that she noticed that when he and another child had conflict, he would hit. She wanted to teach him other ways to resolve conflict besides hitting (or taking what he wanted). Manners do matter, maybe not to adults who urinate on the side of expressways or when talking on speakerphone in public places. 
Manners are behaviors that are taught either by how you are raised or what you see at home. If kids are taught to be mannerable by adults who are mannerable, then that’s what they are. If the environment where you live, permits misbehavior like disrespect, littering, fighting, road rage, temper tantrums, things like that; then manners don’t matter to you.
But we live in a global society, where people from many cultures are expected to get along with each other. Manners matter because how we live our everyday lives spills over into how we treat each other and our neighbors. Respecting each other, protecting our environment and raising our children to do the same is what matters.
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting relationship programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons or Fathers and Daughters.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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