What is Your Teen Doing This Summer?
I was talking with one of my parents on social media about kids working and what we did (as kids) when summer break occurred.
One of the things that was always understood was that my sister, brother and I did not have summers off. We may have been out of school, but we either had book lists to read and write reports on, we attended day camp; we were camp counselors or we had summer jobs. We did not take the summer off and get up when we felt like it. đ¤ˇđ˝ââď¸
My mom said that âAn idle mind is the devilâs playhouse.â đ
The relationship between entitlement that parents complain about, and their inability to set boundaries on what they require their child to do or not do is very interesting. Teens will never admit that they want to work, go to camp, or read books during summer break.
No firm plans for the summer doesnât do anything for your child but allow them to get into mischief, or start bad habits for getting up in the fall and the next school year.
A relationship that I find interesting, is the importance of teaching our kids how to earn and manage money. My parents tied our allowance to weekly chores as a way to help us learn how to earn and save money.
Requiring your child to work, complete chores around the house, cut grass for neighbors, babysit, or work part-time, builds character and responsibility.
âAn idle mind is the devilâs playhouse.â
I would love to hear how you will work with your child this summer to help them build responsibility and character. đŞđ˝
Interested in learning more about your familyâs dynamics? Contact me â Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
Education Technology and the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act
Are you aware that the Childrenâs Online Policy Statement, announced on May 25th, affirms that kids under 13 shouldnât have to give up their privacy rights just to do their schoolwork? It also tells ed tech providers they canât require parents and schools to agree to the comprehensive surveillance of children in exchange for studentsâ use of such learning tools.
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Even before the pandemic forced kids into virtual learning platforms, ed tech has been used in schools. The FTC is working to ensure that the companies offering this technology are following the law â and to let parents know that the FTC is watching what information companies collect about kids, how they use it, for how long they keep it, and how they protect it. When it comes to protecting kidsâ personal information, the FTC is on the side of parents who are concerned about data collection and privacy.
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Thatâs why I am sharing their consumer blog (also available in Spanish) with my audience, and letting people know about this important topic. To read the policy statement, visit: COPPA statement. For more information about protecting kids online, visit ftc.gov/parents.
Interested in learning more about your familyâs dynamics? Contact me â Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
What Do I Need to Do To Get Your Attentionâ
Whatâs one of the first things you do when you get a moment to yourself? You probably pull out your phone. đą
There’s so much you can do on your phone. You can have a whole conversation by text or talking. You can play a game, shop or watch one of your favorite shows.
However, when youâre raising children, thereâs so much of you thatâs required for them to grow up healthy: physically, mentally, and emotionally. Most important is to know what’s going on in their heads.
I was talking to one of my friends about their kids who are under the age of 5. We all agreed that if your child was awake and the house was quiet đ¤Ť, they were probably getting into something! You had to watch them constantly!
As our kids get older, we feel that we donât have to watch them as closely and assume that things are okay with them. If they werenât, our kids would tell us. Natural assumption right?
Wrong!
In families today, our children are relying on us to put aside our devices and initiate discussions; listen to whatâs going on with them. It’s not easy….
Your teen will talk. They have to be assured that youâre listening and wonât judge them. There canât be any topic that you wonât discuss with them. Are you willing to talk about anything and everything? Can you listen without letting your facial expressions show how horrified you are with the conversation? đŤđ¤Ż
We are living in times where anything is possible and are kids want to explore, try out new and different theories, relationships and experiences. Being able to share their thoughts and concerns with you, helps them put them in perspective. Keeping the lines of communication open, by relating to your childâs thoughts and feelings; asking them what they think â makes all the difference in the world.
Have a meal together; it doesnât matter which one. First require that all phones and tablets be put away. 2nd requirement: allow your child the freedom to say whatever is on their mind (must be respectful). Ask âTell me whatâs going onâ. The first several conversations may be awkward while your kids try to figure out if youâre being honest and whether they can say what they feel. đ¤ˇđ˝ââď¸
Every time I hear or read about another mass shooting; I wonder who the shooter had to talk to within his family. If they shot or killed a family member before taking other lives, I wonder what kind of dysfunction was taking place. Were they able to share the fact that they were being bullied or that they were feeling anti-social? Were they abused? Are they suffering from a mental illness that went unaddressed?
I realize these are simple questions for complex issues. But what I do know is that young people have lots of challenges going on in their lives these days. We as parents can’t solve them all. However, being watchful, following your intuition (if you feel something is wrong, it is) and making it safe to tell you what’s going on, goes a long way to minimize issues that cause our kids to self-harm or harm others. Peace.
Interested in learning more about your familyâs dynamics? Contact me â Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
My Spouse and I Parent Very Differently
How is it possible that the person you fell in love with; who understands you perfectly and finishes your sentences⌠parents so differently from you?
Not only do they parent differently, itâs inconsistent, they show favorites with your kids and itâs ALL WRONG đ
Well, I wonder if they feel the same way about you?
The funny thing about parenting, is this: how can someone else tell you how to raise your child? Yet, thatâs exactly what has to happen when you coparent whether you are in the same household or in separate households.
Ideally you discuss things that are important to you to instill in your children before they are born. If it’s important that your son or daughter to speak candidly, then your spouse can’t be annoyed when your out-spoken child speaks at a family gathering (and the comment embarrasses you).
Parenting isn’t one of those “scripted” professions. You start out with the best intentions of raising your child together, until you hit a non-negotiable topic.
Here are 3 things to consider to help you resolve those sticky parenting issues:
- Take a moment to calm down (if you’re angry)
- Think about whether you can accept what your spouse is saying (lose the ego)
- Communicate your concerns with your spouse (outside of your child’s hearing)
Trying to talk while angry, is insanity. Once you calm down, you may feel differently and be willing to compromise. Marriage and raising children require compromise and patience from both of you. Acceptance of your spouse’s parenting style is important to your relationship, and the relationship of your spouse and child.
If you or your spouse are the bonus parent, and are new to the parent-child relationship, either one of you may have a difficult time, “allowing” the other parent to share in important decisions, behavior management and life issues. It’s a normal human emotion to be protective of your child. However, the blending takes place when you share your concerns and decide how to handle.
That was the challenge my husband and I faced when we married and blended our children of previous relationships together. It wasn’t easy when we started. It took a lot of conversations and a few arguments (when the kids were not around). It also took prayer and patience. Our children are adults now, and we are celebrating 20 years of marriage later this year.
You can do this!
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Easter: Preparing for Whatâs Next
As we prepare for Easter week, I think about some of the things that we did when our kids were growing up. My husband and I wanted to share our faith with our children, but we also wanted them to have fun. đ¤ŠđŁ
While there was always an Easter program at church that our kids participated in, we did things like dye eggs for Easter egg hunts, find hidden Easter eggs in the yard and attended good Friday service.
As our kids got older we talked about giving up âsomethingâ for Lent, as a sacrifice, as a way to understand what Jesus gave up by going through the Cruxifixion.
This week, as I celebrate Maundy Thursday and Good Friday, I think about the people I have met this year. Was I kind and generous? Have I done my best to share my faith as a Christian?
I hope so.
Happy Easter đŁđ° âŚď¸
C. Lynn Williams, MsParentguru
What Being Patient Does Not Mean
Have you ever had somebody tell you, âjust be patient, it will come in time.â?
What did you think?
Did a little guilt or anger creep in? Or perhaps all you could think about is OMG, when is âitâ going to happen!?
The problem with statements like just be patient, is that we are impatient by nature. We want what we want, right away. Todayâs technology just exacerbates that right-now mentality because of our ability to request & respond to people immediately!
Today, Iâm not interested in talking about how to be patient; what I do want to talk about, is what being patient does not mean.
For creative, inventive, amazing people, there are many other things to do, to prepare for whatâs coming. Here are things I think about when I am waiting…
- Is there any preparation that I can complete?
- Are there other unrelated tasks that need to be completed?
- What fun activities can I do, to take my mind off of “are we there yet” questions?
- Walking, yoga, running, or working-out, are great activities to help you refocus
Preparing for something new thatâs coming into my life, whether itâs a book that Iâm writing, new clients joining my coaching program, or a vacation that I sorely need, requires patience.
Being patient does not mean being inactive or sitting still. Instead you are focusing your energies on activities, thoughts and preparation, so that when what you are expecting to come, occurs, you are ready for it!
Interested in learning more about your familyâs dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parenting coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Raising Our Daughters to be Fearless
As we celebrate Womenâs History Month, I think back to when I found out our firstborn child would be a girl. Coming from a long line of strong women, I was excited to be a girlmom. đ
I believe in women being bold, sassy and speaking their truths. What better way to raise a daughter who would live life from her internal perspective instead of how the world thinks she should live.
Whatâs crazy is that nobody expects girls to speak with confidence, especially girls of color. đ As mothers, we have to encourage that confidence daily, so that our daughters are comfortable speaking up and out whether with their girlfriends, boyfriends, in the classroom or in their work environments. Living life on your own terms is important today where there are many opportunities to succeed, even when people tell you, you canât.
Patience is key in this relationship with our daughter(s). As you help her build her âvoiceâ, she will use it to argue and sometimes compete with you.đŁ Donât be offended, just know that as her staunchest supporter – her mom, you are someone she trusts and loves.
Be her fence, love her unconditionally, but give her room to grow. She may make decisions that you donât respect as she grows and matures. Itâs okay. It has to be okay – itâs her life. Be there as her guide and coach.
Enjoy the journey with her, as she becomes the woman you always wanted and expected her to become. đ¸đđş
C. Lynn Williams, aka MsParentguru
How to Boost Your Confidence to the Max
When you exude confidence and you’re comfortable in your own skin, the world becomes a better place, and you attract positivity. During times of stress, your mental and physical health can take a nosedive, and it affects your outlook on everything. There are many steps you can take to get your motivation back on track so that you can look and feel your best. Guest blog by Gwen Payne from invisiblemoms.com.
Ways to Look and Feel Good
Sign up for a family photoshoot
Family photoshoots can inject a lot of fun into your life and give you an opportunity to connect with your loved ones. For the photoshoot, you can dress up and make an effort, which can help make you feel positive about your appearance. A skilled photographer will capture you and your family in the best light, making everyone look and feel good.
Improve your nutrition
Both sugar and caffeine give you an instant boost of energy, but too much can make your body crash and become fatigued. Too many additives, sugar, and processed foods can lead to weight gain. Improving your overall nutrition with a balanced diet can help clear brain fog and give you more body confidence.
Improve your living space
When your house is cluttered, disorganized and messy, it can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. And most likely, you never want anyone to visit. If you love to entertain, this is likely holding you back from spending time with friends and family. Fortunately, you can easily reverse this! Spend a few weekends clearing out everything, cleaning and reorganizing your space. Next, open the shades, light some scented candles and add some new decor, and your home will be primed for maximum positivity.
Set goals
Set future goals and hold yourself accountable. When setting goals it’s important to make them challenging but achievable by breaking a big goal down into short and long-term goals. Draw up a step-by-step plan to achieve your goal, and then break it down into daily tasks. If you don’t achieve your daily or monthly goal, do better the next month.
A good goal is to go after career and academic goals. For example, if you’ve always wanted to get your master’s degree, enroll in an online program to start. An MBA program can increase your business knowledge in areas such as strategic planning and leadership, and enhance your self-awareness and self-assessment abilities.
Monthly pamper sessions
Don’t feel guilty about indulging in some pampering, as these can be great for detoxing, circulation, and creating a sense of calm. Whether it’s a sports massage or spa treatment, these moments can really make you feel good about yourself.
Pursue a childhood hobby
Get in touch with your child-like spirit by pursuing a hobby you enjoyed as a child. Loved roller skating? Buy a pair of skates! Enjoyed dancing and gymnastics? Sign-up for online dance classes. You don’t have to be the best at it â just do something you enjoy.
Outdoor activities
Nature has the power to rejuvenate both mind and body. Take up an outdoor sport like running, walking, hiking, biking, or watersports, to enjoy the healing effect of nature and the rush of endorphins. Treat yourself to new gear when you take up an outdoor sport. Track your progress by investing in a fitness watch where you can download apps to map out new routes and monitor your efforts in real-time.
Take Steps to Feel Good
If you’re stuck in a rut, you’ll have to make a conscious effort to change. The most important thing is sticking to a game plan and making one small change at first. Â
Interested in learning more about your familyâs dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parenting coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Is It Really Okay to Not Be Ok?
Many of us view success as pretty, handsome, moneyed, good job, well-likedâŚ
Then when we donât achieve success for any of the reasons listed below or moreâŚ
- Havenât finished (or started) college
- Donât have the right job
- Grew up in the wrong neighborhood
- Married… didn’t marry
- Wrong skin color, gender, religious belief
We wonder why we feel defeated, depressed, uninspired.
Or, we have âeverything going for ourselvesâ, outwardly as my mom would say, and yet we feel defeated, depressed, or uninspired inside. Today in our How to â¤ď¸ Love â¤ď¸ Yourself MoreâŚIntentionally clubhouse, we talked about how being pretty and beautiful are NICE, but have nothing to do with how you feel inside. People are obsessed with looks and fortune. How can you be sad and depressed when you have good looks and wealth?
Easy!
As my co-moderator said, we are âcracked glassâ and looking out we donât see our external beauty and wealth. We only feel brokenness and sadness. Many of us live in quiet desperation and donât know how to find our way out.
Suicide is not the answer.
Iâve lost several family members to suicide and while I donât know exactly what each one felt before taking their life, I know what it feels to be the one left to pick up the pieces and try to figure out what happened? Each member had worth and value but did not feel that there was another way for their story to be told.
One of the best things you can do is open up and share your pain with a supportive friend, group, or a therapist. The other thing to do is remember, you are unique with a God-given purpose! Be who you want to be instead of a copy of someone else. Stop buying the âimageâ and be the original â one of a kind â amazing you! Â
Interested in loving yourself more deeply? Click Here – to schedule a complimentary chat with Ms. Parent Guru about how her How to Love Yourself In 30 Days coaching program can support you.
Click Here to become a part of her parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Being Happy Like a Child
Over the last couple of months, we have seen or interacted with our 2 1/2 year old grandson for multiple periods of time. While itâs been exhausting, what I’ve enjoyed most about spending time with him, was his playful nature and his ability to make anything fun!
Fun to him was hiding behind the plant in the living room, or running through the house saying “chase me” “chase me“! He could look at you, make a face and burst out laughing. đ When we corrected his behavior and he didn’t like it, he cried for a few minutes and then the sadness and tears were gone. He was off to another adventure!
I just wondered what would it take for us as adults, living our adult lives, to just burst out laughing! đ Would people think we were crazy and wonder if everything was OK? Seriously⌠how do we take moments in our day and turn them into joyful experiences, or just times to laugh and have fun?
Iâm on a quest this year, in 2022, where I am looking for joy in my experiences; to lighten up and just laugh, have fun and enjoy myself more! đ¤¸đ˝ââď¸đ¤¸đ˝ââď¸
Yeah I like that – enjoy myself more.
I know there will be bills to pay and serious discussions to be had and work to do, but thereâs lots of fun out here to have and it doesnât have to cost a lot of money or any money. Just go and do!
Hey⌠have a joyful, fun, delightful day today! đđ¤Ş
Interested in learning more about your familyâs dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parenting coaching programs that help guide you through aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Father and Daughter issues as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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