Posts tagged ‘love’

How Do You Teach Kindness to Your Kid?

What kindness do you see in the world today? It starts within families…

Continue Reading November 16, 2022 at 10:45 pm Leave a comment

Parenting Skills All Moms Need

Mom and kids

How many times have you thought that your kids were the worst kids in the neighborhood, but you weren’t sure how to make them more well behaved? 🤔

Reading the news and watching people with their children, I wonder what kind of discussions take place at home. For example, you tell your child “Clean up your room”. You walk by his room an hour later, and not only is it not cleaned up, but he’s also playing a video game.

What do you do?

1. Yell at your child
2. Ignore them
3. Institute consequences

I love instituting consequences because it teaches your child life lessons. The life lesson is that people like dealing with well-mannered people. So, as adorable as your child is (to you), when they mis-behave no one likes them, including you. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Did you know, the older your child is, the harder it is to teach them manners and good behavior. They are difficult to deal with at school and in public. Then they become the teacher’s problem, or a statistic with law enforcement.

If you ask your child to do something and it’s not done – how do you hold them accountable?

If you don’t hold them accountable, what are the consequences to you and your child?

How do they learn the lesson that you’re trying to teach them?

If you are having a difficult time holding your child accountable, it might seem easier to expect your child’s teacher or another adult to take responsibility for parenting your child. It sends mixed messages to a child when someone else outside of you or your spouse becomes the responsible parent your child. Because that’s what happens when law-enforcement gets involved or the teacher has to discipline your child at school. Instead start when your child is very young, giving consequences that are appropriate for them at their age.

For example, before naptime, show your child how to pick up their toys and put them in the toy box. They cannot take a nap until the toys are in the toybox. My mom used to do that with us. What’s crazy is that I hated taking naps, 😴 so I can’t believe that I was duped into cleaning up my room before I laid down to take a nap that I didn’t want.

But it worked!

If you start when they’re 2-3 years old, by the time they are 5, 6, or 7, they are pretty well mannered.

The other thing about discipline and consistency is that it doesn’t work (as well) if you are not giving your child your attention on a regular basis. If the only time you interact with your child is to discipline, yell or scream at them, then you have lost their attention (and respect) when you want them to be well mannered and obedient.

Let me know how instituting consequences works for you and your child. If you need help, click on the link and let’s talk:

Want to learn more about how to get along with your family members?

Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

http://clynnwilliams.com

November 4, 2022 at 9:56 pm Leave a comment

Raising Children Without Losing Yourself

Image via Pexels

Guest blogger, Jenny Miller

Becoming a parent changes everything. Your priorities shift, your responsibilities grow, and suddenly you’re no longer the most important thing in your life. While it’s normal for parenthood to bring major changes, becoming a parent shouldn’t mean losing your sense of self, though. In fact, it’s possible to be a great parent without putting your goals and dreams on pause. Today, C. Lynn Williams explains how!

Loving with Limits: Why Parents Need Boundaries

You’d do anything for your child. However, many parents struggle to balance supporting their child with setting limits.

  • Healthy boundaries benefit a child’s emotional and social development, encourage autonomy, and ease the workload of parenthood.
  • According to Hand in Hand Parenting, children need four types of limits to flourish: safety, values, expectations, and proposal limits.
  • Limits also promote age-appropriate independence. At an early age, that may mean entertaining themselves. As they get older, independent children can troubleshoot problems and do simple chores.

Maintaining Your Identity in Parenthood

Do you feel like you’ve lost your identity since becoming a parent? Parenthood takes a lot of time and energy, but it’s possible to adjust and feel like yourself again.

  • Make time for adult relationships. Schedule kid-free time with your partner and maintain a social life, even if it looks different nowadays.
  • Set goals for yourself. Do you want to get back into a hobby, learn something new, or adopt a healthier lifestyle? Goals are the key to building a happy life long-term.
  • If you’re a stay-at-home parent, consider going back to work. There are numerous job boards where you can find a position that fits your skills. Use a resume builder to give your resume a makeover, then create a winning cover letter to get noticed.
  • If you need extra education or training to improve your hireability, look into online learning. For instance, most popular medical coding courses can be done online in less than 30 hours and can really open up doors!

Self-Care Is Family Care

Self-care tends to drop down the priority list after starting a family, but it shouldn’t disappear from it entirely. A good parent is a happy parent, and happiness starts with self-care.

  • Focus on the positive changes parenthood brings. There are always challenges, but practicing gratitude makes them feel easier.
  • Spend quality time with your children. Take just a few minutes for meaningful connection each day. Even reading to your children each day makes a big difference for you and your kids.
  • Take care of your health. Not only do healthy habits give you the physical and mental stamina to rise to life’s challenges, and it also sets a good example for your children.

There’s no question that parenthood requires sacrifice. However, you don’t have to sacrifice your own goals to be an exceptional parent. In fact, by taking care of yourself and continuing on a path of personal growth, you provide your children with a role model for thriving through life’s transitions.

C. Lynn Williams is a veteran educator, speaker, workshop presenter, passionate mother & wife, as well as author of Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen: A primer for parents”, “The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son”, “Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES!“, “Yours & Mine: A Winning Blended Family Formula“, and “Daddy & Daughter Thoughts: A Dad’s Guide to Daughters“. 

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

clynnwilliams.com

September 9, 2022 at 4:37 pm Leave a comment

Want to Learn a New Lesson Everyday… Become a Parent

Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com

Every summer we keep our grandson, Aidan for a week. It helps out because his daycare is closed the week before school begins in the fall, and it gives his parents a rest. 😴

I love spending time with him. It gives my husband and I a chance to spend time with him, teach him some of our values and customs, and to learn more about him and his generation through his experiences.

I continue to learn patience from Aidan, which is funny because after raising four children, I feel like I already know quite a bit about parenting. 😉

Here’s what I learned this week from Aidan:

⁃ Sitting next to him is not necessarily spending time with him, especially if I’m engrossed with one of my devices.

⁃ Expecting him to do the right thing doesn’t work unless I explain it clearly and give him a good example to follow.

⁃ Having fun and learning new things is what’s important to him as a three-year-old and I’m OK with that.

Being a great parent or grandparent really works if you are willing to:

1. Spend the time

2. Make the time

3. Be present and love them unconditionally

Have a blast & enjoy every minute.💥

Interested in managing your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

clynnwilliams.com

August 20, 2022 at 9:15 am Leave a comment

Understanding and Addressing the Symptoms of Parenting Fatigue

The article is for parents of special needs children who wish to assess their level of fatigue and create a self-care “treatment plan” (though this should definitely not replace a doctor’s treatment plan!).

Continue Reading July 27, 2022 at 10:01 pm 1 comment

How to Have Healthier Menfolk

As I sit here and eat a bag of Hershey’s kisses, I wonder how in the world my kids learned to stop loving junk food 😝 and stay healthy? 🤔

father and son exercising
Photo by Ksenia Chernaya on Pexels.com

Wonder how you build kids who love junk food, into healthy adults? 🍪🍟

This month of June, celebrates men and boy’s health. So let’s talk about physical health.

When it comes to male health, I literally have to call “the kids” when my husband needs to go to the doctor. He’s pretty clear that there is no need to go to the doctor.. just take an Advil or Dayquil and stay in the bed. 🤷🏽‍♀️

So you can imagine, there’s no such thing as scheduling an annual well visit.

Do you live with someone like that? 🤦🏽‍♀️

Scheduling annual well doctor and dentist visits are easy to do when our sons are young. They need both for school or to play sports. As they grow into men, it becomes more challenging to have them see a doctor as a preventative measure. My husband would rather write a check for a million dollars 💵 than have a wellness visit. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Photo by Thirdman on Pexels.com

It’s a shame that body parts have to stop working, in order to visit the doctor. Maybe it’s the “if it’s not broken, don’t fix it” strategy.

If the males in your family are the same way, it might be easier to help them eat healthier. Personally, I like vegetables and a fish protein since I don’t eat meat. I get a little push back if I make what my husband calls, double greens. 🥬 For example, cooking stir fry veggies and a side of spinach is considered double greens. On those days, I’m pressing my luck.

With your sons, especially if they play a sport, having a good amount of healthy carbs makes eating junk food less enticing. Maybe they’re not interested in eating grapes, apples and cherries, but have them in the fridge. Having popcorn, cheese bites, and healthy snacks in the pantry, may make flaming hots, or hot Cheetos less attractive.

I recommend starting a healthy regime now at the beginning of the summer before more bad eating habits get started.

Consider adding in a mother-son (or husband-wife) evening walk to give you time with each other, and a little exercise.

Or… encourage your husband and son to go to the park and throw a baseball, football, play soccer, or run on the track together. You might get push back if they’ve not done this before. Just keep encouraging them.

I’ve been trying to get my husband to walk with me in the evening, so that we don’t become a fixed part of the sofa. 😂 I’ll keep trying.

At the end of the day, exercising and healthy eating, can help you control your weight and keep your sanity.

Write me and let me know how successful you are with the males in your family. I’ll do the same. 👀

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

June 23, 2022 at 10:00 am Leave a comment

My Spouse and I Parent Very Differently

How is it possible that the person you fell in love with; who understands you perfectly and finishes your sentences… parents so differently from you?

Not only do they parent differently, it’s inconsistent, they show favorites with your kids and it’s ALL WRONG 😑

Well, I wonder if they feel the same way about you?

The funny thing about parenting, is this: how can someone else tell you how to raise your child? Yet, that’s exactly what has to happen when you coparent whether you are in the same household or in separate households.

Ideally you discuss things that are important to you to instill in your children before they are born. If it’s important that your son or daughter to speak candidly, then your spouse can’t be annoyed when your out-spoken child speaks at a family gathering (and the comment embarrasses you).

Parenting isn’t one of those “scripted” professions. You start out with the best intentions of raising your child together, until you hit a non-negotiable topic.

Here are 3 things to consider to help you resolve those sticky parenting issues:

  • Take a moment to calm down (if you’re angry)
  • Think about whether you can accept what your spouse is saying (lose the ego)
  • Communicate your concerns with your spouse (outside of your child’s hearing)

Trying to talk while angry, is insanity. Once you calm down, you may feel differently and be willing to compromise. Marriage and raising children require compromise and patience from both of you. Acceptance of your spouse’s parenting style is important to your relationship, and the relationship of your spouse and child.

If you or your spouse are the bonus parent, and are new to the parent-child relationship, either one of you may have a difficult time, “allowing” the other parent to share in important decisions, behavior management and life issues. It’s a normal human emotion to be protective of your child. However, the blending takes place when you share your concerns and decide how to handle.

That was the challenge my husband and I faced when we married and blended our children of previous relationships together. It wasn’t easy when we started. It took a lot of conversations and a few arguments (when the kids were not around). It also took prayer and patience. Our children are adults now, and we are celebrating 20 years of marriage later this year.

You can do this!

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

clynnwilliams.com

April 28, 2022 at 8:00 pm Leave a comment

Raising Our Daughters to be Fearless

My daughter and me

As we celebrate Women’s History Month, I think back to when I found out our firstborn child would be a girl. Coming from a long line of strong women, I was excited to be a girlmom. 😆

I believe in women being bold, sassy and speaking their truths. What better way to raise a daughter who would live life from her internal perspective instead of how the world thinks she should live.

What’s crazy is that nobody expects girls to speak with confidence, especially girls of color. 🙄 As mothers, we have to encourage that confidence daily, so that our daughters are comfortable speaking up and out whether with their girlfriends, boyfriends, in the classroom or in their work environments. Living life on your own terms is important today where there are many opportunities to succeed, even when people tell you, you can’t.

Patience is key in this relationship with our daughter(s). As you help her build her “voice”, she will use it to argue and sometimes compete with you.🗣 Don’t be offended, just know that as her staunchest supporter – her mom, you are someone she trusts and loves.

Be her fence, love her unconditionally, but give her room to grow. She may make decisions that you don’t respect as she grows and matures. It’s okay. It has to be okay – it’s her life. Be there as her guide and coach.

Enjoy the journey with her, as she becomes the woman you always wanted and expected her to become. 🌸💕🌺

C. Lynn Williams, aka MsParentguru

clynnwilliams.com

March 9, 2022 at 3:29 pm Leave a comment

We Can Save Our Boys

It’s hard to advocate for equality and fairness from others, when our sons kill each other. Beefs, challenges, gang wars, whatever… it takes superhuman strength to change the heart and action of young men once the streets have become their parents.

Offer them love, support, structure and discipline while they are young. Continue it through their adolescent and teen years. Teach them to be good people, so they will grow up and be great adults

Be willing to move them out of dangerous communities and away from dangerous people. When I was growing up, an unruly young man was sent to the Army or military school.

If you are a single mom and your son’s dad is not in his life, find a good role model that will provide male support and discipline. Let’s start repeating affirmations of peace, freedom and love over ourselves and our sons. Instead of sending your son out to play, go outside and play with him. I coach parents, and one of my parents said her son has no one to play with outside, because the other kids are afraid of getting shot. That’s a sad commentary on some of our communities now. We can do better.

Our current circumstances do not define who we are, or who our sons are.

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting coaching programs that help you through Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters and Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams @MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

September 23, 2021 at 12:53 pm Leave a comment

7 Ways to Be Less Critical…

Photo by Ebuka Onyewuchi on Pexels.com

Do you find yourself criticizing the people around you more often than complimenting them? Perhaps you’re harsh on yourself as well…

One of the ways to stop being critical of others is to learn to define your own self-worth intrinsically, which means that you learn to see the beautiful qualities of who you are – caring, compassionate, empathetic, kind, and generous.

Today we will focus on ways to be less critical of our children.

7 Ways to Be Less Critical of Your Child 👶🏽 🧒🏽 

  1. Describe the Situation Instead of Fixing Blame.
  2. Say Nothing.
  3. Express Your Feelings.
  4. Put Things in Perspective and Let Things Slide.
  5. Make the Praise Descriptive Instead of Generic.
  6. Focus on the Effort Instead of the Outcome.
  7. Focus on Encouragement instead of Judgement.

We all make mistakes. 

We often criticize ourselves more severely than our loved ones or peers, interfering with our sense of harmony in our mental and emotional capabilities, strength, and spiritual beliefs. 

Maturity occurs as we practice forgiving ourselves, our children and each other.  

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parent coaching programs that help you through Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Parent Coach, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

June 30, 2021 at 9:39 pm Leave a comment

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