Posts tagged ‘love’

Motherhood – The Greatest Role Ever

As March 2017 begins, I’m thinking about Women’s History Month, Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent, as well as my oldest daughter’s impending womens-history-month-2wedding. While each event influences my life in some way, anything related to my children touches me on a much deeper level.

My role as a mother has required that I learn how to:

  • Love
  • Share
  • Care
  • Stand firm
  • Fight
  • Listen
  • Become fearless
  • Hold my children (and myself) accountable

It’s the only role that I know of where you create a human legacy, and generations of people are born. Motherhood is a gift from our Creator that we can choose to be amazingly great at, or an abysmal failure. Often our childhood experiences shape the kind of mothers we become.

Mums and Babies

Mums and Babies

I will be sharing my thoughts about Motherhood today, March 1, 2017, 7:30 PM (CST) on Real Life, Real Love with Chatdaddy Sims on WVON 1390 AM. I would love for you to call in and join the conversation.

motherhood-quote

Interested in taking your family’s dynamics to a new level? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons or Fathers and Daughters.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

March 1, 2017 at 4:19 pm Leave a comment

The Good..The Bad..The Ugly

Even though my kids are adults, I’m still an involved mom because I talk with one or all of them daily about the good, the bad, and the ugly in their lives. It’s sort of like being on call. I find that I constantly manage my life and work (marriage too) around theirs. Moms who are reading this know what I’m talking about if this happens to you: You have a perfect plan to complete the chapter for your next book and receive a call from your daughter who needs to talk. Do you tell her – “I’m sorry I have a deadline for this chapter and I’ll have to talk with you later”? Or, do you put on your mother hat, and listen to her talk out the 20th problem that is ruining her life?

Whatever you decide, stress sets in when you allow too many of your children’s problems and concerns to hijack your day, week, or month. It’s difficult to say no to our kids, because we are so used to doing for them. However, since they are used to being cared for by us, it can become a challenge letting them grow into the wonderful, self-sufficient adults that we know they can be. Statistics show that 25% of parents are using their retirement to pay rent or groceries for their millennial children (21 years or older).communicating-with-adult-children-1c7xd8i

For Superwomen like me, here are some ideas on how to achieve less stress when it comes to your children:

  1. Take a moment to think about your answer and what you are committing to before you commit. For example if your son asks you to pay his car insurance (“Just for this month Mom”). Think about what it does to your budget. If you can afford it. What lessons does it teach him?
  2. Listen without advising the next time your daughter asks you what should she do about the guy that she’s been dating for five years. (You’re not crazy about him anyway, so keeping your opinions to yourself will be very challenging.)
  3. Let the call go to voicemail when your child calls you for the 5th time today because she can’t figure something out. I know this is really a tough one because who else will talk her through if not you. Give her some time to build her mental muscle (she is a superwoman in the making) and call her later. You will be surprised to see how she worked out her problem and matured a little more in the process.

 

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons or Fathers and Daughters.

Click Here to receive my newsletter and notices of my future events.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

January 13, 2017 at 9:16 pm Leave a comment

When He or She Is Not That Into You

(Reprinted from Candace A Williams.com blog.)

Watching the 2009 romantic comedy, He’s Just Not That Into You, is full of laughs and embarrassing moments, but there are some real examples of behaviors that men and women do when they are just not that into someone. What’s ironic about the movie is, when I went to go see it, I ran into someone who clearly wasn’t that into me. His words said one thing, his actions said another. I chuckled because he showed me exactly who I thought he was. From then on, I vowed to myself that I would share my knowledge and intuition with others [about relationships].

REGISTER for our Jan 10th webinar So You Want To Get Married

Now, of course, most people nod and agree; but they rarely listen to my advice because the reality is we all want to be loved. We want that romantic fairytale and we want someone to grow old with. As the holidays are fastly approaching and we are beginning a new year, 2017; my advice to everyone struggling with whether or not he or she is into you, if you have to ask, he or she is probably not. They could like you and not love you, date you and not want to marry you, have children with you but not want to stay committed to you. Run…and run fast. Deep down inside you truly know how that person makes you feel and what you want. Do not allow yourself to settle for anything else. Why stay with someone that you do not want or get along with? Why keep someone around when you know he or she is “Just Not That Into You?” So stop second guessing yourself when it comes to relationships and join our webinar.

We will discuss relationship issues like this and more in our free Jan 10th webinar.
Here’s the link to register: So You Want To Get Married

C. Lynn Williams,
Owner & Creator of Finding Superwoman™

www.clynnwilliams.com

 

December 28, 2016 at 8:31 pm Leave a comment

If You Are A Too Busy Working Mom…

Have you ever felt completely at your wits end because you had a project due at work or in your business, and your img_9908daughter needed you? I’ve been there and remember how difficult it was to make the choice to spend time with her. Yes I chose my daughter. Because there will ALWAYS be a project, a meeting, an event to attend.

Here’s the million dollar question! What’s the consequence if you don’t spend time when she needs (wants) you? Will she want to talk a week, month or year later? Will what was so important to her to share with you today, matter in six months (when you have more time)?

Go to my YouTube channel: MsParentGuru and check out my YouTube video blog: Click Here

If you are struggling to have meaningful conversations with your daughter and want help, let’s have a conversation about your next steps. Here’s a link to reach me. While you’re deciding if you really want to talk about that mother-daughter relationship, pick up a copy of my book, Raising Your Daughter.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentGuru

Connect with my parent community: www.clynnwilliams.com

November 10, 2016 at 1:32 pm Leave a comment

Gun Violence Begins at Home

acceptance

Growing up in the 50’s and 60’s, all I wanted was to be accepted for who I was – glasses and all, and look like my best girlfriend Susan. What I later learned is that it wouldn’t have mattered what I looked like, because most kids wanted to look like or be someone else.

While most of my friends had strict parents, I didn’t have any close friends (that I knew of) whose parents were verbally (or physically) cruel. I say that because as a kid we had parental permission to visit our close friends and I often watched how my friends’ moms and dads interacted with them. Yes I’ve been fascinated with family dynamics since I was a kid. I know what it’s like to grow up in a house where you’re constantly criticized or made to feel bad for who you are. I’ve seen it firsthand. As a child, it feels awful to be constantly criticized.Not Communicating

I also feel sorry for parents who expect to have (what they consider to be) normal kids, who aren’t. Maybe the child is sick, disabled/handicapped or have a different sexual orientation. It’s understandable to expect your child to grow up and be awesome! All parents want that. But when your child grows up and chooses a career or life that you did not expect or don’t value as acceptable, what do you do?

I believe you internalize your disappointment and think you’ve failed as a parent. Depending on your upbringing, you become critical of that young man or woman and say hurtful things that create division and separation. But let me tell you what can happen to that young man or woman; they feel rejected and hurt. You may never hear those feelings because it’s not safe for them to share them with you. If the dynamics in your household is violence and anger, they internalize that too.

Think about it! The gun violence over the last 6 years has often been random and impersonal. As a kid, if you haven’t been hugged, kissed or told how much you are loved (by your parents); if your only validation was to be told ‘How stupid you are’, ‘You’ll never amount to anything’, ‘I wish you were never born’ or ‘Shut up’; you’re ignored or beaten, it is easy to see how you would internalize those feelings and become bitter.

Anytime I read or hear about a mass or random shooting, I wonder what kind of environment that person grew up in. Were they loved, nurtured and well-cared for? Or were they allowed to do their own thing and somewhat ignored because their parents worked (a lot), didn’t know how to reach out to them, didn’t care. Gun violence photo

I am truly sorry for the mass shootings in Orlando, as well as the daily shootings in Chicago. Folks wake up! It’s not too late to reestablish a loving relationship with your child – no matter how old they are. ♥♥

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for aging parents, Mothers and Daughters or Mothers and Sons. Email me at: info@clynnwilliams.com

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Coach & Author

www.clynnwilliams.com

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)
Yours & Mine: The Winning Blended Family Formula (220 Publishing, 2015)

 

June 15, 2016 at 11:21 am 4 comments

Wicked Stepmoms Unite

I don’t think of myself as a stepmom, except when all of our kids are home to visit, or most recently to gather for my dad’s memorial service. While I am mother to children that I did physically have, I’d like to think that I am far from wicked.

Two events caused me to thinkof stepmoms   and “wicked” in the same sentence. The first was a conversation I’ve been having with one of my students about her stepmother and how controlling she is, and the other is a relative’s belief that stepchildren don’t have the same attachments to family members as our biological children, therefore they are not entitled to be part of the ‘inner family circle’.

I say hogwash! We stepmoms / blended family moms have a responsibility to keep our children close to us and keep the distinctions to a minimum. 

I know it’s easy to write this and hard to live it, but I know what it’s like to be seen as ‘different’ from the other children. So when we favor our biological children over our stepchildren, or allow others to show favoritism between our kids, we begin to create scars that last well into adulthood. If you feel insecure when your husband wants to spend time with his daughter (your stepdaughter), seek out a therapist, become a part of a supportive stepmoms support group or join my upcoming coaching program for mothers.

Happy, secure mothers are well loved and a joy to be around. Let’s remove “wicked” from our family’s vocabulary.  

 

C. Lynn Williams

#MsParentguru

http://www.clynnwilliams.com

February 1, 2016 at 3:35 pm Leave a comment

I Can’t Believe I’ve Turned Into My Mother

mom_n_girlsAs I reflected on my Mother’s Day weekend, I think about some things my mom said to me when I was growing up, like “Don’t forget the paper the toilet seat” or “Put a hat on so you don’t catch a cold!” Her favorite phrase was “Divine Order!” She would say that when we had no idea what we were supposed to do, and those magical words always yielded amazing results.

My mom’s faith encouraged me in tremendous ways especially when I faced crossroads and was afraid to move forward. She is no longer with me, however I will remember her words forever. I hope you had a mom_modwonderful Mother’s Day. Enjoy and make the best of every day that you have with your children, significant other and those that are close to you.

#MsParentGuru ❤️

Family. Foundations. Futures.
http://www.clynnwilliams.com
Ask Me About how to #HealTheWoundedDaughter

 

May 27, 2015 at 4:45 am Leave a comment

10 Dating Tips for College Women

three college womenNext
Dating in college can be really fun. It can also be disappointing, frustrating and just plain old annoying, but finding the right guy for you doesn’t need to take an act from Congress. So here are the top ten dating tips by college students for college students, or in other words things that have worked! (reposted from EmpowerHER.com)

Tip 1

Find someone who likes you for you. This might sound cliché, but it means that your guy loves you even with your many imperfections. If you worry about what he thinks about you too much it can hurt your relationship more than it could help. Your man should love you for all the quirks and cute things you do, just because he cares about you.

Click on the link below to read more tips.

http://www.empowher.com/sex-amp-relationships/content/top-ten-dating-tips-college-students

Interested in learning more about self-care and balance for women? Join us on March 24th for our Balancing Life with Love virtual webinar. REGISTER => http://bit.ly/1b9sCko

Contact Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about her inspiring parenting programs for Mothers & Daughters, Mothers & Sons or Dads & Daughters. Email her at: info@clynnwilliams.com

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Author & Generational Development Strategist

www.clynnwilliams.com

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)

March 15, 2015 at 3:31 pm Leave a comment

How to be a Committed 2015 Parent

As 2014 draws to a close, thank you for supporting me and reading my Staying Sane blog. 2014 was a tough year for parents. The news constantly reported assaults (or murders) on our kids whether from strangers, peers or adults. It’s enough to make you want to move to an uninhabited island until your child becomes an adult. However, we know that’s not going to happen! The best we can do is enjoy the time we have with our young people, and be awesome role models. As a parent, my goal in 2015 is to be a better listener and example setter. What are your parent goals for 2015?

Love between dads & daughters

Love between dads & daughters

It’s easy to be the type of parent that says “Do What I Say” instead of being the type of role model that you want your son or daughter to follow. God holds us accountable to be the best parents we can be. Fatherless or motherless kids are forced to raise themselves and we have seen the devastation that a kid trying to raise himself/herself brings.

Are you committed to being the best parent you can possibly be? Our kids spell L-O-V-E with T-I-M-E. Make 2015 special with the time, love and commitment that you share with your son or daughter. Dads talk to that pre-teen daughter about a pledge to wait before having sex. Moms help your son become the best man he can become by holding him accountable to complete tasks and responsibilities when you assign them.

Is parenting easy? Not at all, however you can do this. And I can help! Become a part of my new parent membership program called Parent Sense. Click here to give me your contact information so that I can notify you with more details.

Happy New Parenting Year!

C. Lynn Williams, Ms. Parent Guru

January 2, 2015 at 9:43 pm 3 comments

Queen Latifah & Her Mom… #SustainingtheBond

Mothers, we are always giving to our children right?Queen and mother
I found this wonderful article about one of my sheroes, (actress and talk show host Queen Latifah) and how she is helping her mother through a serious illness. The bond between a mother and her daughter is can be a good one, might need work or may not exist at all. Don’t you agree?

Below is a reprint of part of the People Magazine article dated May 1, 2014 by Monica Rizzo.

Despite her very public persona, Queen Latifah has long been private about her family life. But last spring as she was ramping up production for her syndicated daytime talk show, The Queen Latifah Show, the entertainer was taking on a personal commitment to take charge of her mother Rita Owens’s round-the-clock medical needs.

Owens, 64, was diagnosed last year with scleroderma, an incurable autoimmune disease that has caused scar tissue build up (pulmonary fibrosis) in her lungs. Owens also has pulmonary hypertension (blood pressure in the lungs), which impacts her ability to breathe.

“I wasn’t going to do the show unless she came here,” Latifah tells PEOPLE in its latest issue. “I knew she was dealing with her health issues sometimes and I would not be able to get to her as easily.”

Despite the challenges caring for someone who’s ill, Latifah, 44, says she can’t imagine anyone else looking after her mother.

“Anyone who has a job and then has a family member at home who is ill, it’s 24 hours. You have to be there. They need you,” says Latifah, who enlisted friends and family members to help out while she’s at work. “I try to be as in the moment and as present as possible. And then I try to get some sleep and go to work and be present there and then go home and be present there.”

“It’s not a day or night that she doesn’t peek her head in my room and make sure I’m okay,” says Owens, a former high school teacher. “If it’s medical she’ll go in and grill the doctors and make sure they are doing what they are supposed to do. She sacrifices her time, her resources. She genuinely loves me and I know that.”

For more from Latifah and her mother, including details on Owens’ condition and her treatment, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE magazine.

If you are taking care of an aging parent (and raising children) part of the sandwich generation. To learn more about loving and communicating with your mother, invest in a copy of my book, ‘Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES. http://bit.ly/Uzr9v6 If you would like to ask questions or dialogue with me about how tough adult issues affect our daughters, reach out to me on Twitter www.twitter.com/cgwwbook or on my Facebook fan page www.Facebook.com/CGWWBooks. Use hashtag #TellHerTheTruth

 

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Author & Generational Development Strategist

www.clynnwilliams.com

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)

P.S. If you have a daughter and live in the Chicago area, treat yourselves to a half-day retreat on Nov. 22nd to share stories, experiences, bond and renew your relationship with each other. Here’s the link to register: mymothermyself.eventbrite.com

 

November 12, 2014 at 5:33 pm 2 comments

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