Posts tagged ‘mothers’

Which One Are You Today?

It’s funny when your kids are small, you don’t ever want them to grow up. They are so innocent and precious and they listen to our every word. Then the day comes when they start saying things like “I’m grown, I can make my own decisions.” And you realize they are growing up and maybe you should let them (make their decisions). 

Then they change back into a non-adult! They say things like:

  • Can you pay for my phone?
  • Will you complete my FAFSA?
  • Do you have money for me to get my nails done?
  • Can you pay my car insurance?
  • Will you pay my rent?

Wait a minute!

  • I thought you were an adult?
  • Isn’t that what you told me you were?
  • What happened to “I can do this? Please stop telling me what to do!?”

This is the brain of our teenage or twenty-something kid. The problem is that they really don’t want a lessons learned talk, they kinda want to figure it out, but don’t mind asking for your money and support.

My feeling is that when your kid says, “I can do it”, it’s important to let him or her do it. I believe today’s parents don’t want their children to make the mistakes that they made. It sounds good, but isn’t realistic. Growing up means you make mistakes. I made them? You did too. It’s okay. 

Young people today don’t mind making mistakes. They don’t want to be nagged or guilt tripped, but they also want to be rescued when they’ve made a mistake. It’s doesn’t work both ways! Some lessons can only be learned through experience. A daughter who has a child without the security of marriage (against the advice of her parents), takes a risk that she will raise her child alone. A son who wants to play pro ball and decides not to go to college, takes a risk of having an injury (that keeps him from playing) and working the rest of his life as a laborer.

It’s hard watching our children make mistakes especially ones that can follow them for life. It’s harder when they tell you to butt out – let them live their life. Those are hard lessons for us as parents. However, just like our parents had to let us go and grow… we have to do the same thing. A little lesson learning never hurt anybody! Happy 2019!

Are you saying Yes when you really mean No? Click here to Join my FREE Facebook Group – Balanced Moms Club to join with other moms to receive tips about time management, organization and basic meal planning.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

January 4, 2019 at 10:14 pm 5 comments

Working Time Management For Moms

When you walk in the door, you see a stack of papers floating around your desk, and when you go home, just as at the office, you can’t find those important papers you need so desperately to stay out of trouble or make an excuse. 

When you come home at night, you and your spouse argue, and your children ignore you because you just aren’t spending family time with some of the important people in your life.

Does this sound familiar?

Have you ever wondered why?

Well, you are not managing your time accordingly so that you reap benefits and the ones you love are happy. You are not organized, so therefore how the heck can you find those important documents?

Moms already have a big responsibility and we neglect to manage our times, our responsibilities turn to chaos.

Let’s face it: it is never easy to stay organized when we have busy work schedules and a family to attend to, as well as other responsibilities.

The traditional individuals often store files in a filing cabinet, and clean their room and desk once every week. However, there are people out there that are spontaneous. Some of us even store documents so they are out of sight and soon find those documents are out of mind, until someone calls their attention to the papers.

The key to success moms is getting your priorities straight. If you shop for groceries once per week, you can cut back time by buying enough to last longer, so that grocery shopping isn’t part of your weekly plan. 

The extra hour or more that you spend at the supermarket can be spent on quality time with the family. This is only one solution to managing your time, but it is certainly a start. In addition, you can make up a list of your duties, starting with the most important tasks first, and working through the list one at a time. I found this to be a great solution for managing time, since when you work hard to complete one task, the rests fall into place with ease.

If you spend an hour or even one half hour in the mirror, it is probably because you are not feeling good about yourself. It takes approximately five minutes to put makeup on, and to stand in the mirror longer is only taking up time. Hair is also important since our person in general sets an impression. If you spend longer time than needed doing your hair, try finding nice looking hairstyles that are less complicated to style. This is also a great process of the time management solution. Clothing should also be limited but appropriate for whatever it is that you are doing and it should not take less than a couple of minutes to get dressed.

Unless you are a model, or actress, overdressing is not appropriate in most cases for everyday life situations. If you are spending extra time preparing meals, you might want to consider recipes that are quick and healthy to manage your time mom. Look for my time management, organization and meal planning coaching program to launch in January 2019.

Interested in controlling your time management issues? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my work-life balance programs for working and entrepreneurial mothers.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

December 19, 2018 at 6:18 pm Leave a comment

This Was A New Lesson For Me

Have you ever had one of those weeks?

You know, the one where everything goes sideways?

I talk about it in this video blog. Click Here

 

 

 

 

 

Enjoy!

Are you a mom who wants less stress and more enjoyment out of life? Connect

Click Here to become a part of my Balanced Moms Facebook group.

C. Lynn Williams

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

 

October 20, 2018 at 10:55 pm Leave a comment

You’re No Good To Us Dead

This week I sat in a very somber ceremony where we were celebrating the lives of women that had recently died. As I thought about their lives, I wondered how many of these women led the kind of life where they were more concerned with pleasing the people around them than taking time for themselves.

As women, we are often told that what matters is the sacrifice we make for other people – as mothers, wives or friends. I think about my mother, who give all of her time, money and energy to us (her children), family members, her  friends and community.

It sounds so wonderful to sacrifice yourself, and continuously give to other people, but when we don’t take time to nurture our dreams and create time for ourselves, we become tired, overwhelmed, disillusioned, or sick. Then we are no good to ourselves or anyone else.

When my children were young I don’t remember taking time to practice daily self-care or knowing what self-care was until two things happened:

  1. I lost a work colleague to cancer. Our lives mirrored each other’s in many ways: we were both in our 30’s, married with young children and working in corporate America. She seldom took time for herself. Lunch was an opportunity to purchase groceries or finish a project. Birthday gifts were practical household gifts. Everyone talked about how efficient and practical she was, but ultimately she didn’t get to live out her life.
  2. I went through a divorce about 10 years later. Going through divorce caused me to stop and take time to figure out what was important to me; where I wanted to be and what made me happy. It’s amazing how life crises can cause you to look at your life differently.

You don’t have to wait until a life crisis makes you make positive change in your life. Take time now to do something just for you every day. Begin a physical activity or a hobby that you love and start it today. Why wait? Find your inner Superwoman and nurture her.

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my Finding Superwoman™ programs.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

 

July 11, 2018 at 12:41 pm Leave a comment

Manners Matter

Have you ever seen something and wondered – ‘Did I just see that!’ 

I was driving on the expressway and traffic was really congested. In broad daylight a man pulled over to the side of the road and proceeded to pull out his genitals and use the bathroom! WHAT?!? Seriously!?! I thought what kind of home training did he have?

In another situation, a woman begins to talk on her phone. You can hear the voice on the other end of the phone because she has her caller on speakerphone. Why?

I met with one of my clients last week, at a public playroom for kids, since she had her kiddos with her. The playroom reminded me of when my kids were invited to places to play with each other while parents got to know each other. The biggest difference between then and now is that a few of the parents were on their phones while their child played.

What she did next got my attention. Before allowing her son to play with the other kids, she reminded him of the ‘house rules‘. The house rules were her expectations of his behavior. “Play nice.” “Hitting is not a way to resolve a problem.” Her little guy was only 4 1/2 years old, but he was being taught how to handle conflict and remain mannerable! She said that she noticed that when he and another child had conflict, he would hit. She wanted to teach him other ways to resolve conflict besides hitting (or taking what he wanted). Manners do matter, maybe not to adults who urinate on the side of expressways or when talking on speakerphone in public places. 

Manners are behaviors that are taught either by how you are raised or what you see at home. If kids are taught to be mannerable by adults who are mannerable, then that’s what they are. If the environment where you live, permits misbehavior like disrespect, littering, fighting, road rage, temper tantrums, things like that; then manners don’t matter to you.

But we live in a global society, where people from many cultures are expected to get along with each other. Manners matter because how we live our everyday lives spills over into how we treat each other and our neighbors. Respecting each other, protecting our environment and raising our children to do the same is what matters.

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting relationship programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons or Fathers and Daughters.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

May 30, 2017 at 1:41 pm Leave a comment

Asking For Help

How often do you ask for help? 

Once a day? Once a month? Never? I know my examples sound extreme but a few weeks ago, I was talking with one of my Finding Superwoman™ coaching clients and she talked about how overwhelmed she was at her home. She has a teen son, a tween daughter and a husband.

When I gently reminded her about these people that live at home with her, she laughed and said ‘Oh they won’t help out.’ 😨 ‘What do you mean they won’t help? Have you asked them?’ ‘Well no, I didn’t think I had to ask for help.’ I now understood her dilemma, she didn’t know how to ask for help. I grew up in a culture of everyone pitching in at home; with the exception of my dad whose only household chores were cutting the grass and painting. 🤷🏽‍♀️

As young kids, my mother trained us to pick up our toys and clean our rooms (before we were allowed to take our daily nap). As we got older, our responsibilities increased to include things like starting dinner and doing laundry.

My husband and I share household things like cooking and kitchen clean up. If I cook, he cleans the kitchen. The chores are not split equally but I don’t feel like Hazel the maid either.

Asking for help and training your children to help around the house is important for you to maintain a semblance of sanity and order. Whether you work outside of your home, or work from home, doing ‘everything’ does not help you manage your household workload or your peace of mind.

Teaching your children the value of taking responsibility for household chores builds character. It also helps you busy mom (or dad) to do those activities that are uniquely yours to do to insure that the household runs properly.

If you grew up in a house where your mom or dad did not require anything from you except to go to school and get good grades, then this is an opportunity to get outside of your parent comfort zone and build a new skill. It takes three things from you:

1. Decide what chores you want your child(ren) to do

2. Have a family meeting to discuss what your expectation is and when the chores will begin as well as the consequences of what will happen if the chores are not done

3. Be flexible as you establish these new routines. Rome wasn’t built in a day, nor will your tweens and teens easily accept a new set of responsibilities without some grumbling. Stay consistent with your expectations of them and stay sane!

For more tips like these, look for my weekly blog. Click here to download my Moms Can Have It All worksheet.

Best wishes,

C. Lynn Williams – #MsParentguru

http://www.clynnwilliams.com

April 20, 2017 at 7:25 am Leave a comment

Motherhood – The Greatest Role Ever

As March 2017 begins, I’m thinking about Women’s History Month, Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent, as well as my oldest daughter’s impending womens-history-month-2wedding. While each event influences my life in some way, anything related to my children touches me on a much deeper level.

My role as a mother has required that I learn how to:

  • Love
  • Share
  • Care
  • Stand firm
  • Fight
  • Listen
  • Become fearless
  • Hold my children (and myself) accountable

It’s the only role that I know of where you create a human legacy, and generations of people are born. Motherhood is a gift from our Creator that we can choose to be amazingly great at, or an abysmal failure. Often our childhood experiences shape the kind of mothers we become.

Mums and Babies

Mums and Babies

I will be sharing my thoughts about Motherhood today, March 1, 2017, 7:30 PM (CST) on Real Life, Real Love with Chatdaddy Sims on WVON 1390 AM. I would love for you to call in and join the conversation.

motherhood-quote

Interested in taking your family’s dynamics to a new level? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons or Fathers and Daughters.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

March 1, 2017 at 4:19 pm Leave a comment

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