Posts tagged ‘mothers’

5 Steps to Overcoming the Guilt of Missed Milestones

When I was growing up, I never understood why my mom constantly talked to me about what to do if something other than what she planned – happened. I was the oldest, and she expected me to be able to continue to follow through if circumstances interrupted her plans for us. She was very intentional about planning and said it helped her manage her hectic schedule of being a wife, mother and a working woman, as well as ours. babys-hand-guilt-mom

As a wife, mother and entrepreneur, I realize how important it is to plan for the unexpected, whether it’s a car accident that causes schedules to be delayed or whether it’s a last minute science project and supplies have to be purchased. I also know what’s like to miss an event for my kids and feeling guilty about it. One of the ways I help my clients is to help them work through issues like guilt and keep guilt, stress and overwhelm from making them feel inadequate, overwhelmed or like a failure.

2017 is a great year to lose your guilt. As an entrepreneur, wife and mother, there was nothing that stressed me out like an unexpected event or family emergency. I’ve learned how to move past guilt and I talked about it during my webinar on Tuesday. I shared 5 key steps to managing guilt during my Missed Milestones webinar as part of a plan to help working women and mothers get a better handle on stress and anxiety.

If you missed this free webinar, no worries, the replay is available until Wednesday, March 1st

Click here to watch the replay.guilt-ridden-mom

Don’t miss it! Kick the chaos out of your life!

When I mentor my clients about finding their superwoman, I encourage them to determine what is most important in each area of their life: work, family and relationships. Once they’ve sorted out what’s most important, we go to work determining how to remove guilt and those feelings of being overwhelmed by what our family members and work associates think about the decisions we’ve made.

You can have a wonderful relationship with your partner and your children as well as a promising career. If making this happen is really hard for you, text CONSULT to 708.501.7060 for a complimentary discovery session with me.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

Founder, Finding Superwoman™
http://www.clynnwilliams.com

February 23, 2017 at 6:18 pm Leave a comment

Please Put That Away

I treated myself to lunch today and did what I love most — people watch. As a parent blogger, I find that there’s always a story either at the  table next to or across from me in most restaurants. 

There wasn’t a lot going on next to me, so I looked around the room. I like watching people and their children. They make the most interesting stories to share.

I looked across the room and there was the most adorable African American boy staring back at me. He was probably 5 years old. I smiled at him and he waved. Pure love! His mom never looked up from her phone during our brief exchange. Nor did she look up or talk to him except once or twice with an angry look on her face. They were there when I got to my table and stayed about 45 minutes.

Now I’m intrigued because he was basically on his own to amuse himself without a word from his mom. I guess in fairness I could have gone over and asked her if he was her son, but what if she told me to mind my own business? Not a good outcome.

I tried, really tried to mind my own business and starting playing Words with Friends but my curiosity took over and I looked over to see if they were having any interactions or conversations.

Nothing! He’s just a little boy, and I don’t know the history of their relationship. But when we ignore our kids, they either find other people to talk to or they act out for attention. He looked like he needed a hug. I wish I could have given him one. ❤

Kids take a lot of time and sometimes all we want is an hour by ourselves. I can help you figure that time out and relate to your kids.  Give me a call. 224-357-6314

C. Lynn Williams

#MsParentguru

Author & Founder of Finding Superwoman

www.clynnwilliams.com

February 11, 2017 at 9:48 am Leave a comment

If You Are A Too Busy Working Mom…

Have you ever felt completely at your wits end because you had a project due at work or in your business, and your img_9908daughter needed you? I’ve been there and remember how difficult it was to make the choice to spend time with her. Yes I chose my daughter. Because there will ALWAYS be a project, a meeting, an event to attend.

Here’s the million dollar question! What’s the consequence if you don’t spend time when she needs (wants) you? Will she want to talk a week, month or year later? Will what was so important to her to share with you today, matter in six months (when you have more time)?

Go to my YouTube channel: MsParentGuru and check out my YouTube video blog: Click Here

If you are struggling to have meaningful conversations with your daughter and want help, let’s have a conversation about your next steps. Here’s a link to reach me. While you’re deciding if you really want to talk about that mother-daughter relationship, pick up a copy of my book, Raising Your Daughter.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentGuru

Connect with my parent community: www.clynnwilliams.com

November 10, 2016 at 1:32 pm Leave a comment

Discipline Disparity Between Black Boys & Everybody Else’s Son

When we African American mothers complain that the system is against our son(s), we are told that we are paranoid. Probably not.

Of course it doesn’t help when our sons are consistently targeted /stopped / jailed / shot by law enforcement officers.

When my son was three, I took him to a neighborhood in-home day care. The day care provider had three kids; two who were too young to attend school. One day when I picked up my son, she told me that he bit her youngest son. While I wasn’t surprised; he was going through a biting stage; her next words surprised me. “You better get him some help or else he’s going to be a a danger to society (not verbatim).” 

While I didn’t disregard his biting behavior, I also knew we had recently relocated the family and he was moved from a home he had known and loved since birth to one that was unfamiliar to him. I also knew other sons who bit, spit and punched each other and their moms simply said “Boys will be boys“. 

Understand that I am not saying our sons can do no wrong. If they are wrong, it is our responsibility to correct their behavior. Continual targeting is not the way. If you are a single mother without a positive male role model in your son’s life, then it will be hard not to take to heart what school (or daycare) officials say. Don’t believe the hype.

It’s really important to the socio-emotional health of our sons for us to protect them when it appears that they are constantly punished, suspended or jailed for acts that are considered quite normal for sons of other races and ethnicities.

Please read the Washington Post article by Tunette Powell and let me know your thoughts on this topic. Click here to read.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Founder & Creator of Finding Superwoman

clynnwilliams.com

August 1, 2016 at 2:40 pm Leave a comment

Gun Violence Begins at Home

acceptance

Growing up in the 50’s and 60’s, all I wanted was to be accepted for who I was – glasses and all, and look like my best girlfriend Susan. What I later learned is that it wouldn’t have mattered what I looked like, because most kids wanted to look like or be someone else.

While most of my friends had strict parents, I didn’t have any close friends (that I knew of) whose parents were verbally (or physically) cruel. I say that because as a kid we had parental permission to visit our close friends and I often watched how my friends’ moms and dads interacted with them. Yes I’ve been fascinated with family dynamics since I was a kid. I know what it’s like to grow up in a house where you’re constantly criticized or made to feel bad for who you are. I’ve seen it firsthand. As a child, it feels awful to be constantly criticized.Not Communicating

I also feel sorry for parents who expect to have (what they consider to be) normal kids, who aren’t. Maybe the child is sick, disabled/handicapped or have a different sexual orientation. It’s understandable to expect your child to grow up and be awesome! All parents want that. But when your child grows up and chooses a career or life that you did not expect or don’t value as acceptable, what do you do?

I believe you internalize your disappointment and think you’ve failed as a parent. Depending on your upbringing, you become critical of that young man or woman and say hurtful things that create division and separation. But let me tell you what can happen to that young man or woman; they feel rejected and hurt. You may never hear those feelings because it’s not safe for them to share them with you. If the dynamics in your household is violence and anger, they internalize that too.

Think about it! The gun violence over the last 6 years has often been random and impersonal. As a kid, if you haven’t been hugged, kissed or told how much you are loved (by your parents); if your only validation was to be told ‘How stupid you are’, ‘You’ll never amount to anything’, ‘I wish you were never born’ or ‘Shut up’; you’re ignored or beaten, it is easy to see how you would internalize those feelings and become bitter.

Anytime I read or hear about a mass or random shooting, I wonder what kind of environment that person grew up in. Were they loved, nurtured and well-cared for? Or were they allowed to do their own thing and somewhat ignored because their parents worked (a lot), didn’t know how to reach out to them, didn’t care. Gun violence photo

I am truly sorry for the mass shootings in Orlando, as well as the daily shootings in Chicago. Folks wake up! It’s not too late to reestablish a loving relationship with your child – no matter how old they are. ♥♥

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for aging parents, Mothers and Daughters or Mothers and Sons. Email me at: info@clynnwilliams.com

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Coach & Author

www.clynnwilliams.com

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)
Yours & Mine: The Winning Blended Family Formula (220 Publishing, 2015)

 

June 15, 2016 at 11:21 am 4 comments

3 Ways to Avoid Cincinnati Zoo Parenting

I normally try to avoid the nightly news, because it’s always so sensational and it seems that each Harambe gorillanetwork tries to outdo the other network with the worst possible things that humans are doing to each other. My ears pricked up last night when the news reported that a four year old boy crawled/fell through the barriers at the Cincinnati Zoo, was dragged by the gorilla (probably a mother) and rescued by zoo officials after the gorilla was killed.

I felt outraged! How in the world did he get through the barriers? WHERE WAS HIS MOTHER when this happened?

Okay moms before you yell that boys are quicker than the blinking eye – I completely agree. My own son was three when I noticed him smiling (like he just got into something) and running from my bathroom. I caught him and got a whiff of what smelled like fingernail polish remover. My question to myself was how did he get away from me that quickly – it seemed like seconds! But it only takes seconds for your kid to get away from you and unfortunately in this case, he’s slid into the gorilla habitat with Harambe, an endangered and well-loved gorilla.

She was on her phone… Doggone it! Being on your phone with any four year old is dangerous – boy or girl. It only takes a minute for them to get into something. Our phones can take our attention away so quickly that minutes go by like seconds. She probably thought – “who just texted me”. The next thing she knew, her son was gone. She is really lucky that her son is alive. Having raised one son from birth, and another as a bonus, I know boys. They are wonderful but do unexpected things a lot!

Here are three (3) things to remember when raising boys:

  1. Pay attention at all times especially once he starts crawling through his 6th birthday
  2. Believe that he can reach anything he sets his mind to – he has No Fear
  3. They will tell you whatever you want to hear – meaning he won’t always be truthful

Interested in learning more about what makes your son tick? Pick up a copy of my book – The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son. Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for aging parents, Mothers and Daughters or Mothers and Sons. Email me at: info@clynnwilliams.com

C. Lynn Williams – #MsParentguru

Author, Coach & Family Dynamics Specialist

clynnwilliams.com

May 31, 2016 at 3:22 pm Leave a comment

Teaching Millennial Young Women…OMG

young-women

I have been absent from this blog for the last month. Hard to believe, but it’s true and I apologize to those of you who look forward to my weekly posts. I have a good excuse though; I’ve been teaching a group of young ladies that have given me a run for my money. Call them young female millennials.

These young women are outspoken, opinionated, oppositional and hard to love. Many of them have dysfunctional relationships with their mothers – they have said “I hate my mom”, don’t respond well to rules and have very short attention spans.

I took it personally at first and couldn’t understand why I was dealing with this type of student. Then I realized that many of you have these young girls or women in your home. These are your daughters and they are not easy to parent or get close to. There are many reasons explaining why our daughters appear distant from us.  It could be the fast pace of social media; how women and girls are portrayed in the media, or the inattention that they receive at home from us their mothers and fathers when we’re busy.

I know we have to change our mindset in order to reach this generation. They love technology. That means we can’t hate technology and expect to stay in touch with our girls. Whether it’s through texting, emailing, Face-timing or Facebook messages, talk to your girls and let them know you love them and are there for them.
millennial women 2
While the attitudes of these students were enough to make me think about retiring early; I realized that I was being given an opportunity to do what I love to do – get close and share my love with this millennial generation – your daughters. There are all kinds of things going on in their young lives. Some good; some not so good. They just need to know that someone really cares and is listening. No matter what type of outward attitude they give off.

Keep the lines of communication open Moms…your daughters really are listening.

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for millennial daughters, aging parents, or mothers and sons.

Email me at: info@clynnwilliams.com

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Author, Coach & Family Dynamics Specialist

www.clynnwilliams.com

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)
NEW: Yours & Mine: A Winning Blended Family Formula (220 Publishing, 2015)

 

November 2, 2015 at 10:10 pm Leave a comment

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