Posts tagged ‘parenting’
4 Reasons to Write a Will
Here are 4 reasons why having a will is important to your family.
How to Have Healthier Menfolk
As I sit here and eat a bag of Hershey’s kisses, I wonder how in the world my kids learned to stop loving junk food đ and stay healthy? đ¤
Wonder how you build kids who love junk food, into healthy adults? đŞđ
This month of June, celebrates men and boyâs health. So letâs talk about physical health.
When it comes to male health, I literally have to call âthe kidsâ when my husband needs to go to the doctor. Heâs pretty clear that there is no need to go to the doctor.. just take an Advil or Dayquil and stay in the bed. đ¤ˇđ˝ââď¸
So you can imagine, thereâs no such thing as scheduling an annual well visit.
Do you live with someone like that? đ¤Śđ˝ââď¸
Scheduling annual well doctor and dentist visits are easy to do when our sons are young. They need both for school or to play sports. As they grow into men, it becomes more challenging to have them see a doctor as a preventative measure. My husband would rather write a check for a million dollars đľ than have a wellness visit. đ¤ˇđ˝ââď¸
Itâs a shame that body parts have to stop working, in order to visit the doctor. Maybe itâs the âif itâs not broken, donât fix itâ strategy.
If the males in your family are the same way, it might be easier to help them eat healthier. Personally, I like vegetables and a fish protein since I donât eat meat. I get a little push back if I make what my husband calls, double greens. 𼏠For example, cooking stir fry veggies and a side of spinach is considered double greens. On those days, Iâm pressing my luck.
With your sons, especially if they play a sport, having a good amount of healthy carbs makes eating junk food less enticing. Maybe theyâre not interested in eating grapes, apples and cherries, but have them in the fridge. Having popcorn, cheese bites, and healthy snacks in the pantry, may make flaming hots, or hot Cheetos less attractive.
I recommend starting a healthy regime now at the beginning of the summer before more bad eating habits get started.
Consider adding in a mother-son (or husband-wife) evening walk to give you time with each other, and a little exercise.
Or⌠encourage your husband and son to go to the park and throw a baseball, football, play soccer, or run on the track together. You might get push back if theyâve not done this before. Just keep encouraging them.
Iâve been trying to get my husband to walk with me in the evening, so that we donât become a fixed part of the sofa. đ Iâll keep trying.
At the end of the day, exercising and healthy eating, can help you control your weight and keep your sanity.
Write me and let me know how successful you are with the males in your family. Iâll do the same. đ
Interested in learning more about your familyâs dynamics? Contact me â Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
Education Technology and the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act
Are you aware that the Childrenâs Online Policy Statement, announced on May 25th, affirms that kids under 13 shouldnât have to give up their privacy rights just to do their schoolwork? It also tells ed tech providers they canât require parents and schools to agree to the comprehensive surveillance of children in exchange for studentsâ use of such learning tools.
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Even before the pandemic forced kids into virtual learning platforms, ed tech has been used in schools. The FTC is working to ensure that the companies offering this technology are following the law â and to let parents know that the FTC is watching what information companies collect about kids, how they use it, for how long they keep it, and how they protect it. When it comes to protecting kidsâ personal information, the FTC is on the side of parents who are concerned about data collection and privacy.
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Thatâs why I am sharing their consumer blog (also available in Spanish) with my audience, and letting people know about this important topic. To read the policy statement, visit: COPPA statement. For more information about protecting kids online, visit ftc.gov/parents.
Interested in learning more about your familyâs dynamics? Contact me â Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
What Do I Need to Do To Get Your Attentionâ
Whatâs one of the first things you do when you get a moment to yourself? You probably pull out your phone. đą
There’s so much you can do on your phone. You can have a whole conversation by text or talking. You can play a game, shop or watch one of your favorite shows.
However, when youâre raising children, thereâs so much of you thatâs required for them to grow up healthy: physically, mentally, and emotionally. Most important is to know what’s going on in their heads.
I was talking to one of my friends about their kids who are under the age of 5. We all agreed that if your child was awake and the house was quiet đ¤Ť, they were probably getting into something! You had to watch them constantly!
As our kids get older, we feel that we donât have to watch them as closely and assume that things are okay with them. If they werenât, our kids would tell us. Natural assumption right?
Wrong!
In families today, our children are relying on us to put aside our devices and initiate discussions; listen to whatâs going on with them. It’s not easy….
Your teen will talk. They have to be assured that youâre listening and wonât judge them. There canât be any topic that you wonât discuss with them. Are you willing to talk about anything and everything? Can you listen without letting your facial expressions show how horrified you are with the conversation? đŤđ¤Ż
We are living in times where anything is possible and are kids want to explore, try out new and different theories, relationships and experiences. Being able to share their thoughts and concerns with you, helps them put them in perspective. Keeping the lines of communication open, by relating to your childâs thoughts and feelings; asking them what they think â makes all the difference in the world.
Have a meal together; it doesnât matter which one. First require that all phones and tablets be put away. 2nd requirement: allow your child the freedom to say whatever is on their mind (must be respectful). Ask âTell me whatâs going onâ. The first several conversations may be awkward while your kids try to figure out if youâre being honest and whether they can say what they feel. đ¤ˇđ˝ââď¸
Every time I hear or read about another mass shooting; I wonder who the shooter had to talk to within his family. If they shot or killed a family member before taking other lives, I wonder what kind of dysfunction was taking place. Were they able to share the fact that they were being bullied or that they were feeling anti-social? Were they abused? Are they suffering from a mental illness that went unaddressed?
I realize these are simple questions for complex issues. But what I do know is that young people have lots of challenges going on in their lives these days. We as parents can’t solve them all. However, being watchful, following your intuition (if you feel something is wrong, it is) and making it safe to tell you what’s going on, goes a long way to minimize issues that cause our kids to self-harm or harm others. Peace.
Interested in learning more about your familyâs dynamics? Contact me â Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
What Being Patient Does Not Mean
Have you ever had somebody tell you, âjust be patient, it will come in time.â?
What did you think?
Did a little guilt or anger creep in? Or perhaps all you could think about is OMG, when is âitâ going to happen!?
The problem with statements like just be patient, is that we are impatient by nature. We want what we want, right away. Todayâs technology just exacerbates that right-now mentality because of our ability to request & respond to people immediately!
Today, Iâm not interested in talking about how to be patient; what I do want to talk about, is what being patient does not mean.
For creative, inventive, amazing people, there are many other things to do, to prepare for whatâs coming. Here are things I think about when I am waiting…
- Is there any preparation that I can complete?
- Are there other unrelated tasks that need to be completed?
- What fun activities can I do, to take my mind off of “are we there yet” questions?
- Walking, yoga, running, or working-out, are great activities to help you refocus
Preparing for something new thatâs coming into my life, whether itâs a book that Iâm writing, new clients joining my coaching program, or a vacation that I sorely need, requires patience.
Being patient does not mean being inactive or sitting still. Instead you are focusing your energies on activities, thoughts and preparation, so that when what you are expecting to come, occurs, you are ready for it!
Interested in learning more about your familyâs dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parenting coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Raising Our Daughters to be Fearless
As we celebrate Womenâs History Month, I think back to when I found out our firstborn child would be a girl. Coming from a long line of strong women, I was excited to be a girlmom. đ
I believe in women being bold, sassy and speaking their truths. What better way to raise a daughter who would live life from her internal perspective instead of how the world thinks she should live.
Whatâs crazy is that nobody expects girls to speak with confidence, especially girls of color. đ As mothers, we have to encourage that confidence daily, so that our daughters are comfortable speaking up and out whether with their girlfriends, boyfriends, in the classroom or in their work environments. Living life on your own terms is important today where there are many opportunities to succeed, even when people tell you, you canât.
Patience is key in this relationship with our daughter(s). As you help her build her âvoiceâ, she will use it to argue and sometimes compete with you.đŁ Donât be offended, just know that as her staunchest supporter – her mom, you are someone she trusts and loves.
Be her fence, love her unconditionally, but give her room to grow. She may make decisions that you donât respect as she grows and matures. Itâs okay. It has to be okay – itâs her life. Be there as her guide and coach.
Enjoy the journey with her, as she becomes the woman you always wanted and expected her to become. đ¸đđş
C. Lynn Williams, aka MsParentguru
How to Boost Your Confidence to the Max
When you exude confidence and you’re comfortable in your own skin, the world becomes a better place, and you attract positivity. During times of stress, your mental and physical health can take a nosedive, and it affects your outlook on everything. There are many steps you can take to get your motivation back on track so that you can look and feel your best. Guest blog by Gwen Payne from invisiblemoms.com.
Ways to Look and Feel Good
Sign up for a family photoshoot
Family photoshoots can inject a lot of fun into your life and give you an opportunity to connect with your loved ones. For the photoshoot, you can dress up and make an effort, which can help make you feel positive about your appearance. A skilled photographer will capture you and your family in the best light, making everyone look and feel good.
Improve your nutrition
Both sugar and caffeine give you an instant boost of energy, but too much can make your body crash and become fatigued. Too many additives, sugar, and processed foods can lead to weight gain. Improving your overall nutrition with a balanced diet can help clear brain fog and give you more body confidence.
Improve your living space
When your house is cluttered, disorganized and messy, it can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. And most likely, you never want anyone to visit. If you love to entertain, this is likely holding you back from spending time with friends and family. Fortunately, you can easily reverse this! Spend a few weekends clearing out everything, cleaning and reorganizing your space. Next, open the shades, light some scented candles and add some new decor, and your home will be primed for maximum positivity.
Set goals
Set future goals and hold yourself accountable. When setting goals it’s important to make them challenging but achievable by breaking a big goal down into short and long-term goals. Draw up a step-by-step plan to achieve your goal, and then break it down into daily tasks. If you don’t achieve your daily or monthly goal, do better the next month.
A good goal is to go after career and academic goals. For example, if you’ve always wanted to get your master’s degree, enroll in an online program to start. An MBA program can increase your business knowledge in areas such as strategic planning and leadership, and enhance your self-awareness and self-assessment abilities.
Monthly pamper sessions
Don’t feel guilty about indulging in some pampering, as these can be great for detoxing, circulation, and creating a sense of calm. Whether it’s a sports massage or spa treatment, these moments can really make you feel good about yourself.
Pursue a childhood hobby
Get in touch with your child-like spirit by pursuing a hobby you enjoyed as a child. Loved roller skating? Buy a pair of skates! Enjoyed dancing and gymnastics? Sign-up for online dance classes. You don’t have to be the best at it â just do something you enjoy.
Outdoor activities
Nature has the power to rejuvenate both mind and body. Take up an outdoor sport like running, walking, hiking, biking, or watersports, to enjoy the healing effect of nature and the rush of endorphins. Treat yourself to new gear when you take up an outdoor sport. Track your progress by investing in a fitness watch where you can download apps to map out new routes and monitor your efforts in real-time.
Take Steps to Feel Good
If you’re stuck in a rut, you’ll have to make a conscious effort to change. The most important thing is sticking to a game plan and making one small change at first. Â
Interested in learning more about your familyâs dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parenting coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Relinquishing Control Releases Stress
Itâs the wee hours of the morning, as I lay here trying to go back to sleep, a car sits outside beeping itâs horn for whomever is supposed to come out. I want to yell at that person to stop đ waking up everyone while he tries to get his passenger. đ¤Ź
The question at the moment is, can I do anything about the beeping horn? Am I going to lose more sleep đ´ or can I refocus on something else?
2021 taught me three things:
⢠There are things I canât change like: when COVID ends, how to make an adult act differently, etc.
⢠Remember who I am and be true to myself
⢠Focus on what is working instead of what isnât
The common denominator here was that I focused a lot on controlling events, relationships and my feelings. When I chose to live through each experience, I discovered the best parts of it and moved on, I was happier.
I learned in 2021 that when it comes to peace of mind, control is overratedâźď¸
Are you thinking about those Ahaâ moments you experienced?
Or maybe like me, youâve had enough experiences occur that have left you worn outâźď¸ As my friends at Unity School of Christianity say – âGive life the light touchâ
How are you ending 2021? đ¤đŹ
Wishing you and your family lots of love and a happy and prosperous new year. đ đđđ§§
Thanks for reading my blog, and following me on Instagram, Twitter & TikTok @MsParentguru.
C. Lynn Williams
The Secret Lives of Teens on Social Media: Here’s What You Need to Know
Social media has become an integral part of our everyday lives. Parents use it, just like their children. However, on average, teenagers are the ones who spend the most time on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, TikTok and similar platforms.
This leaves many parents worried. Some are afraid that this habit will grow into an addiction, while others are concerned about cyberbullying, over-sharing, and an âall-about-attentionâ attitude.
Author Donna Lynn Hope asks an important question: âHow different would people act if they couldn’t show off on social media? Would they still do it?â
If our children were to be born in more innocent times, without social media, would they be any different?
Consider these questions:
- How do we know what our children are doing online?
- Is there a way to control our childâs behavior on social media, without invading their privacy and breaking their trust?
- How do we recognize if social media is negatively affecting our children?
This topic is complicated, and there are no simple answers. However, if you ask your child about the time they spend on social media, you might be surprised at how willing they are to talk about it.
When you speak with them about their emotions and challenges, and address potential issues in self-esteem, you may find that social media wonât pose such a threat to them.
Even so, you may still be wondering how you can safely explore your childâs secret life on social media.
These solutions will help:
- Dignify their devices. If you want to limit your childâs social media usage, avoid taking away their device. They will find another one. Help them find effective ways to self-regulate, instead.
- Fear of missing out often motivates the time spent on social media.
- However, teens are aware of the consequences this habit creates. Encourage them to reflect on these consequences and focus on the impact social media overload has on their personal, academic, and other goals.
- Fear of missing out often motivates the time spent on social media.
- Ask about the apps. Ask your child which apps they spend the most time on. Is it Instagram, Facebook, or perhaps Snapchat? Once you find out, install those apps on your phone, too, and figure out how they work.
- Some apps have geolocation which can pose a real danger. Try to manage your childâs social media activity by informing them of the danger rather than imposing your opinion.
- Donât be a manager, be a mentor.
- Some apps have geolocation which can pose a real danger. Try to manage your childâs social media activity by informing them of the danger rather than imposing your opinion.
- Help them to protect their privacy. Talk about privacy settings on different social media accounts. Some teens are not aware of this option.
- Agree with them to accept only the followers and friends that they know personally. This is not an easy task for a teen because the number of followers is often the barometer of popularity.
- However, if they understand the necessity for well-managed online presence, this shouldnât be a problem.
- Agree with them to accept only the followers and friends that they know personally. This is not an easy task for a teen because the number of followers is often the barometer of popularity.
- Talk about sexting. Parents find the infamous conversation about âThe Birds and the Beesâ just as awkward as children do. However, now you have another level to deal with â sexting.
- Teens can often confuse sending explicit messages and photos for intimacy that might not exist.
- Talk about what it means to have a healthy relationship and how to develop and maintain one.
- Teens can often confuse sending explicit messages and photos for intimacy that might not exist.
- Overcome social media prejudice. Many parents believe that social media is completely, or almost completely, bad. However, it is neither good nor bad per se. Itâs a new form of communication.
- When parents talk to their children about social media from this standpoint, the child is likely to withhold and hide information.
- Genuine curiosity and an open mind about your childâs interest in social media can make a significant difference.
- When parents talk to their children about social media from this standpoint, the child is likely to withhold and hide information.
- Care about their emotions. Teenagers want their opinions to be heard. This especially goes for the things theyâre passionate or angry about. Social media offers instant feedback to their posts, which makes kids feel listened to, validated, and acknowledged.
- However, if you offer empathy for challenges your child is facing, you can provide listening and validation inside of your family, too. This will give you an insight into what your teen posts on social media and an opportunity to help them self-filter.
When your child asks you for the first time if they can open a social media account, avoid judging them or jumping to conclusions. Accept their need to engage in such community-based way of communication, talk about it, and help them build a safe profile.
Teach them how to protect themselves and what to expect.
Youâll never have all the information about their activity, but if youâre interested and understanding, you might get just the right amount.
I help parents build the kind of communication and trust that allows parent-child relationships to grow and feel better through coaching and parent classes. Email me for more information: info@clynnwilliams.com đ
Thanks for reading my blog and following me on Instagram and Twitter @MsParentguru.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
My Teen Is Old EnoughâŚ
Being a teen is overrated. They are old enough to know what to do, but they donât have the maturity or experience to consistently make the right decisions.
Being a teen is overrated. They are old enough to know what to do, but they donât have the maturity or experience to consistently make the right decisions.
I was the oldest child and my mom and dad taught me the difference between right and wrong. I was responsible for âsetting a good exampleâ for my brother and sister. While I didnât want to disappoint them, my parents also had âeyesâ in the community and throughout the city; other adults who would report back if they saw me in places where they didnât think I should be. Even so, I broke the rules⌠like the time I rode on my boyfriendâs motorcycle. Two broken rules:
- No boyfriends (at my age)
- No riding on anyoneâs motorcycle
Never mind that we could have an accident and I could be hurt or killed. That never occurred to me (as a teen) because I was fearless and willing to try things. Even if it meant breaking the rules.
Parents often believe that once their child becomes a teenager, they donât need as much supervision. Thatâs not true either. You donât have to worry that your teen will fall down the stairs, like a 2- or 3-year-old. But they could accept a ride from a stranger when they need to get someplace on time. Or they may be tricked into giving out their phone number in an online chat, because the person theyâre talking to says they are 15 too, like your child.
Think about the recent rash of carjackings or smash and grab crimes that are being performed by teens. Some of the kids are 12 or 13 years old. I can hear you â âNot My Childâ.
How do you know?
You work every day and youâve taught your child right from wrong. They would never steal a car, hold a person at gunpoint/knifepoint, or snatch their purse/wallet. Right?
You say, âmy child is smart, comes from a two-parent family, we are not poor.â Those crimes only occur with/by⌠You fill-in the rest of this sentence with your thoughts or biases.
As a parent expert who has taught and studied adolescents, teens, and 20-somethings for the past 20 years, I can tell you this:
- Teens love thrill and excitement
- They are easily influenced by their peers and the world around them
- Leaving them on their own for 3-4 hours every day (after school) without supervision is a problem
Join my Zoom Parent Masterclass on Thursday, October 21st where we will discuss teens: their wants, needs and love language. Admission is $25 until October 9th; $45 thereafter.
CLICK HERE to Register.
Interested in learning more about your familyâs dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting coaching programs that help you through Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters and Fathers and their Sons.
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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