Posts tagged ‘relationship’
What’s Your Story: Women’s History Month
While we celebrate March as a month for sharing women’s history, I think about my relationship with my mother, and all of the women who have passed through my life.
My love and respect for the women in my life was taught to me by my mother. I valued my relationship with her, even though we didn’t always agree.
As young girls, we are often led to believe that it’s mom’s way or the highway. I challenged that theory with my mom and I encourage other mothers and daughters to do the same, and allow each other the space to grow beyond their family, their culture and the world’s expectations of them. Let your daughter know that it’s okay to follow a path no one in your family dared to follow. 👣
I used to tell my daughter, she could be whomever she wanted and not to let anyone (including me) tell her she couldn’t do what she wanted with her life. That’s the legacy that I want for all girls.
Show the girls, teens and young women (that you interact with) how amazing they are now, and how far they can go with their lives. That’s what women’s history is all about.
Saying Yes when you really just need a break? Schedule a complimentary session with me to determine what tools can help make family living easier for you.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Want to Learn a New Lesson Everyday… Become a Parent
Every summer we keep our grandson, Aidan for a week. It helps out because his daycare is closed the week before school begins in the fall, and it gives his parents a rest. 😴
I love spending time with him. It gives my husband and I a chance to spend time with him, teach him some of our values and customs, and to learn more about him and his generation through his experiences.
I continue to learn patience from Aidan, which is funny because after raising four children, I feel like I already know quite a bit about parenting. 😉
Here’s what I learned this week from Aidan:
⁃ Sitting next to him is not necessarily spending time with him, especially if I’m engrossed with one of my devices.
⁃ Expecting him to do the right thing doesn’t work unless I explain it clearly and give him a good example to follow.
⁃ Having fun and learning new things is what’s important to him as a three-year-old and I’m OK with that.
Being a great parent or grandparent really works if you are willing to:
1. Spend the time
2. Make the time
3. Be present and love them unconditionally
Have a blast & enjoy every minute.💥
Interested in managing your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
What Do I Need to Do To Get Your Attention❓
What’s one of the first things you do when you get a moment to yourself? You probably pull out your phone. 📱
There’s so much you can do on your phone. You can have a whole conversation by text or talking. You can play a game, shop or watch one of your favorite shows.
However, when you’re raising children, there’s so much of you that’s required for them to grow up healthy: physically, mentally, and emotionally. Most important is to know what’s going on in their heads.
I was talking to one of my friends about their kids who are under the age of 5. We all agreed that if your child was awake and the house was quiet 🤫, they were probably getting into something! You had to watch them constantly!
As our kids get older, we feel that we don’t have to watch them as closely and assume that things are okay with them. If they weren’t, our kids would tell us. Natural assumption right?
Wrong!
In families today, our children are relying on us to put aside our devices and initiate discussions; listen to what’s going on with them. It’s not easy….
Your teen will talk. They have to be assured that you’re listening and won’t judge them. There can’t be any topic that you won’t discuss with them. Are you willing to talk about anything and everything? Can you listen without letting your facial expressions show how horrified you are with the conversation? 😫🤯
We are living in times where anything is possible and are kids want to explore, try out new and different theories, relationships and experiences. Being able to share their thoughts and concerns with you, helps them put them in perspective. Keeping the lines of communication open, by relating to your child’s thoughts and feelings; asking them what they think – makes all the difference in the world.
Have a meal together; it doesn’t matter which one. First require that all phones and tablets be put away. 2nd requirement: allow your child the freedom to say whatever is on their mind (must be respectful). Ask “Tell me what’s going on”. The first several conversations may be awkward while your kids try to figure out if you’re being honest and whether they can say what they feel. 🤷🏽♀️
Every time I hear or read about another mass shooting; I wonder who the shooter had to talk to within his family. If they shot or killed a family member before taking other lives, I wonder what kind of dysfunction was taking place. Were they able to share the fact that they were being bullied or that they were feeling anti-social? Were they abused? Are they suffering from a mental illness that went unaddressed?
I realize these are simple questions for complex issues. But what I do know is that young people have lots of challenges going on in their lives these days. We as parents can’t solve them all. However, being watchful, following your intuition (if you feel something is wrong, it is) and making it safe to tell you what’s going on, goes a long way to minimize issues that cause our kids to self-harm or harm others. Peace.
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
What Did You REALLY Want?
Love is the common denominator in relationships. Knowing how to best express your love takes practice. When it comes to your children, the effort is definitely worth it.
Continue Reading October 22, 2021 at 7:30 am Leave a comment
What Happened to Our Sex Life?
When marriage first starts, you can’t stop touching each other. And then there’s the sex. That is never a problem, until you get into the throes of child-rearing, or money gets tight and while trying to figure that out, you forget about the intimacy.
A few months ago, I had a conversation with one of my daughters who said “Mothers don’t share enough of the challenges of being a wife and mother.” I tried not to get defensive, but as I continue to think about her comment, I think about things I wish my mother shared with me.
When you talk to women who have been married for years, they say things like:
“Cherish your husband.”
“Nurture your marriage”.
“Trust God to bring you through”.
Depending on the stage of life you are in, you experience hot flashes and nobody says – your body goes from 98.7 F to 150.7 in seconds and you feel slightly insane! Does anybody bother to tell you that parts of you dry up and have to be hydrated with over-the-counter products? No, of course not! Nice women don’t tell their business…
One day you wake up and the hot flashes are gone… Yay… But the sex (and possibly the desire for it) has disappeared too! How in the world is that possible? And more importantly, how do women stay married during “such a time as this”?
Interested in learning more about women as mothers? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru. Look for our upcoming Modern Moms Love Themselves conference. Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
It’s Always About Relationship
The good news is that this has been a week of successes for me. The backstory is that I finally UNDERSTAND the message that the Universe has been sending me. I finally Get It!
For the last four weeks, I’ve been teaching parenting classes to a group of parents who want to communicate with their children more consistently.
I’m also teaching a group of millennial women (different subject) and in both instances, the connection that we’re making is because of our relationship with each other.
When there is no relationship, the person you are trying to influence could care less about what you are saying. They need to know that you care about them. Caring is the missing equation in many relationships with issues.
For example, I show my students how I feel about them by sharing parts of my life with them, and asking them about the people and circumstances in their life. They know that they matter to me and it makes it easier to “connect” with me.
In our work environments this is true as well. Your millennial workers want to know that they matter to you. They care about community and commitment as much as the company’s bottom line. If you have explanations for why your organization runs the way it does, and share that philosophy (mission) with them, you will see a different level of commitment.
Guess what? Your children are the same way (most of them). They care when they see why something matters to you. Gone are the days of “Do it because I said so.” Take time to explain what you want (from them) and why you want it. When they know that you are interested in them and their interests, they will talk to you more.
Interested in learning more about generational communications? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
When He or She Is Not That Into You
(Reprinted from Candace A Williams.com blog.)
Watching the 2009 romantic 
comedy, He’s Just Not That Into You, is full of laughs and embarrassing moments, but there are some real examples of behaviors that men and women do when they are just not that into someone. What’s ironic about the movie is, when I went to go see it, I ran into someone who clearly wasn’t that into me. His words said one thing, his actions said another. I chuckled because he showed me exactly who I thought he was. From then on, I vowed to myself that I would share my knowledge and intuition with others [about relationships].
REGISTER for our Jan 10th webinar So You Want To Get Married
Now, of course, most people nod and agree; but they rarely listen to my advice because the reality is we all want to be loved. We want that romantic fairytale and we want someone to grow old with. As the holidays are fastly approaching and we are beginning a new year, 2017; my advice to everyone struggling with whether or not he or she is into you, if you have to ask, he or she is probably not. They could like you and not love you, date you and not want to marry you, have children with you but not want to stay committed to you. Run…and run fast. Deep down inside you truly know how that person makes you feel and what you want. Do not allow yourself to settle for anything else. Why stay with someone that you do not want or get along with? Why keep someone around when you know he or she is “Just Not That Into You?” So stop second guessing yourself when it comes to relationships and join our webinar.
We will discuss relationship issues like this and more in our free Jan 10th webinar.
Here’s the link to register: So You Want To Get Married
C. Lynn Williams,
Owner & Creator of Finding Superwoman™
Mothers – What’s Happening to Our Sons?
It’s been little more than a month since the Newtown shootings, and as a mother, I am still at a complete loss for how a son could kill his mother. I have two sons, my own and one I lovingly inherited when I married his father. I love them both and while I have had difficult conversations and tense moments with both sons, never in my wildest nightmares, would I imagine dying by their hand.
While we will never hear Nancy Lanza’s story about her relationship with her son Adam (the shooter), I came across an article where she cautioned one of her son’s babysitters to never turn his back on her son. Can you imagine living with a person and not being able to turn your back on him? http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57559502/ex-babysitter-says-newtown-conn-school-shooter-adam-lanzas-mother-warned-dont-turn-your-back/
When we raise our sons, we pour so much love, attention, (hopefully) discipline, values and the kitchen sink into our boys, and yet many of them end up being killed, killing others, or going to prison. Mothers, where are we failing and why?
I also came across another article, where another mother lost her only son to gun violence and he was a good kid! We always think our sons are good kids! But this teen did what he was told; went to school every day (one of my requirements); obeyed his mother; and yet was randomly shot in the back after leaving a basketball game. http://my.chicagotribune.com/#section/544/article/p2p-74054502/
I’d like my sons to grow into wonderful men with families and great careers, like my dad and granddad. Is that too much to ask these days?
C. Lynn Williams
Author and Parenting Coach
#msparentguru
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
When to Cut Finances to Your Adult Child
When do you stop helping your children (even those over age 21) financially? I remember paying my daughters’ phone bills until they were about 25 years old. We wanted to make sure they were able to handle their household bills, and we were able to help them, so we did.
What’s interesting is that I met a woman whose husband still relied on his mother to pay his rent. This man was 50 years old. That’s pretty riduculous right? Here is a link to an article that advises us on when to close our checkbooks:
http://www.bankrate.com/finance/personal-finance/cut-financial-cord-on-kids-1.aspx?ec_id=cmct_02_comm_PF_mainlink
Let me know what you think..
MsParentguru
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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