Posts tagged ‘teens’
Hope and Healing: Supporting Your Teens Through Challenges This Holiday Season
This week, we were heartbroken by the news of a Wisconsin teen involved in a school shooting. It’s a reminder of the pressures and challenges our teens face today, pressures that often go unnoticed until tragedy strikes.
For parents of Black and Brown teens, these challenges can feel even heavier. Our youth often face unique stressors from discrimination and prejudice, which add to the already complex emotions of adolescence. As parents, we have a critical role in helping them navigate these burdens with love, understanding, and resilience.
Supporting Your Teen This Holiday Season
The holidays can still be a time of joy and connection, even in the face of challenges. Here are a few ways to encourage open communication and create moments of healing:
1. Be Present and Listen
Let your teen know they can talk to you about anything, including how societal pressures impact their mental health. Listening without judgment is one of the most powerful gifts you can give.
2. Empower Them with Affirmation
Remind your teen of their worth, resilience, and unique talents. Acknowledge the additional stress they may feel navigating a world that doesn’t always treat them fairly, and celebrate their strength.
3. Encourage Moments of Rest
The holiday season is the perfect time to slow down and recharge as a family. Create opportunities for your teen to reflect, relax, and enjoy simple, joyful moments away from external pressures.
A Message of Hope
As parents, we can’t always control what happens in the world, but we can create a safe and supportive space for our teens. This holiday season, focus on nurturing their emotional well-being, building bridges of trust, and celebrating their unique journey.
May your holiday season be filled with love, hope, and meaningful connections.
Warmly,
C. Lynn Williams
Parent Coach / Author / Speaker
clynnwilliams.com
Nurturing Financial Responsibility: A Guide to Building Money Management Skills in Teenagers
Teens’ financial responsibility is often overlooked in their transition to adulthood. Parents can lead by example, set clear expectations, teach budgeting basics, encourage part-time employment, promote delayed gratification, introduce investing, and foster an entrepreneurial spirit. The article offers 10 steps for teens to manage money.
OtoZen App Review: The Ultimate Driver Safety Companion
Image by Lopolo on Shutterstock
When it comes to driving, it’s always best to be careful and drive defensively. I want my friends and family to feel safe when I’m behind the wheel, and I want them to stay safe when they’re driving, too.
But how can I be sure that my loved ones are driving safely? Especially with teens, as they are more sensitive about sharing their activities and whereabouts with parents.
One of the most effective ways to ensure your loved ones are safe on the road is to use a driver safety app. These apps can help you maintain situational awareness and control at all times. This is why my family and I use one.
After trying a few others, OtoZen is my app of choice because of how easy it is to coordinate with multiple drivers on one platform. It helps me and my family stay safe on the road with its warning systems, real-time GPS, and Live Location features.
Why Is OtoZen the App of Choice for Driver Safety?
OtoZen has several features that encourage and help drivers stay safe on the roads. It offers everything from speeding and car use alerts to driving and family safety features that can help new and teenage drivers in your family.
1. Speeding Alerts
OtoZen monitors the vehicle’s speed, alerting drivers when they exceed the speed limit in a particular area. This can help new and experienced drivers know the limit for each road, avoid costly speeding tickets, and stay aware of how fast they are driving.
2. Live Location Sharing
This feature allows drivers to share their location with family and friends. OtoZen also gives drivers the option to send their expected time of arrival (ETA), so their family and friends will know when to expect them. This can also ease parents’ minds, knowing when their teens arrive at their destination.
Live Location sharing lets users control who can see their movements on the road, providing privacy, safety, and security through one app.
3. Safe Driving Score
One of the best ways to become a better driver is through feedback. OtoZen provides Drive Scores for each trip that identify unsafe driving behavior like speeding and phone usage.
Monitoring phone usage brings attention to distracted driving, helping drivers stay focused and avoid distractions while operating a vehicle. The Drive Scores are an excellent way to improve driving habits and observe safe driving guidelines while traveling. This feature can also help teens build accountability.
4. Helps Your Family Members Pass Driving Tests
OtoZen is an excellent tool that can prepare teens for their driving tests. The app can log and share driving records with driving instructors at the local Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV).
Driver training schools can also use OtoZen to assess their students’ performance. They can quickly review which areas need improvement through the automatically generated driving log.
5. Accident Detection and Roadside Assistance
The app detects accidents and sends a 911 dispatch automatically. Whether minor or severe, OtoZen has 24/7 support services from certified dispatchers who notify emergency responders immediately in the event of a crash.
The dispatchers use the app’s Live Location feature to inform authorities of the vehicle’s exact location so they can send the nearest responders to the area.
6. Hands-free Driver Safety
The app lets drivers receive and send messages through their vehicle’s speakers, minimizing distractions. The hands-free feature also sends audio reminders for nearby errands and appointments and automatically notifies friends and family of trip progress and arrival times.
Is the App Worth It?
OtoZen can fulfill many needs and concerns regarding driver safety.
Stay Connected
If you have a teen learning to drive or simply want to stay connected with friends and family, OtoZen is a great choice. You can monitor loved ones’ locations and know when they need your help. While your teen is old enough to do many things, that does not take away from ensuring their safety.
Improve Driving
Student drivers can use the Driver Scores feature to see how well they are doing. You can work with your teens and help them improve their skills, especially with an automatically generated report they can show to driving schools and the DMV.
Save Lives
The accident and roadside assistance features can save lives. Anyone is susceptible to accidents, especially teens who are learning to drive. You can quickly gain peace of mind with this app, as it automatically notifies you and emergency responders when an accident occurs and provides an exact location.
Helpful Modes
It also uses different modes to observe a driver’s movements: driver and viewer.
Viewer mode allows you to observe the vehicle’s movements, including the ETA, stops, and Driver Scores. Plus, you can view other vehicles that have shared their location with you and see their movement on the app under Live Location.
In Driver mode, you can enable Live Location, input the location of your home, and set up hands-free notifications and reminders when you are on the road. You can also set up speeding alerts to get notified when you pass the speed limit, which is especially helpful when you are unfamiliar with a location’s speed limits.
OtoZen: Best for Families
Using an app like OtoZen can help parents like me track the movement of loved ones. It allows me to monitor their whereabouts without being too intrusive and controlling.
You can give your teens the freedom they want while teaching responsibility with an app that automatically informs you where they are and their current situation. Parents don’t have to needlessly worry when their teens aren’t home yet. OtoZen tells me where they are, provides their ETA, and even shows me their speed.
Make Driver Safety Part of Your Family With OtoZen
Driver safety is a lesson every family needs to learn. Downloading OtoZen as a driver safety and assistance app can go a long way in protecting your teens on the road.
If you want to monitor your teens and ensure they’re driving safely, OtoZen is an excellent choice.
Teaching Kids About Money
Guest article by Yulissa Asprilla, yasprilla@annuity.org
Teaching your kids about money is an important part of parenting. It is important to start early and give them a basic understanding of money and how it works. You can also help them to understand the importance of investing and the risks associated with it. Finally, you can help them to understand the importance of giving back to the community and how to make charitable donations, It can help them to become financially responsible adults.
Some parents may not feel confident enough in their own financial knowledge to be able to teach their kids about money. Others may think it is inappropriate to discuss money with young children, or mistakenly believe that children are too young to comprehend financial concepts. However, it is important to remember that teaching your children about money is essential to their development, and it is never too early to start.
When to start?
Depending on the age of your child, the conversation may vary. For younger children, you can start by introducing basic concepts such as the value of money, how to save, and how to make wise spending decisions. As your child gets older, you can introduce more complex topics such as budgeting, investing, and credit. It is important to have open and honest conversations with your child about money and to ensure that they understand the value of money and how to manage it responsibly.
How do I convince my kid that college is worth it?
When it comes to convincing your kid that college is worth it, it is important to emphasize the numerous benefits that come with a college education. Explain to your child that college provides them with the opportunity to gain valuable knowledge and skills that will help them succeed in their future career. Additionally, point out the potential for increased earning potential and job security that a college degree can provide. Finally, explain that college is a great way to make long-lasting connections and friendships that can last a lifetime.
Making a Budget
The first step is to help them create a budget that is realistic and achievable. This should include setting a goal for how much money they want to save each month and listing all of their monthly expenses. Once they have a budget in place, they should be encouraged to stick to it. This means avoiding impulse purchases and shopping around for the best deals. They should also be reminded to save any extra money they have left over at the end of the month. Finally, it is important to provide ongoing support and encouragement to help them stay on track. With these steps, they should be able to stick to their budget and reach their financial goals.
Lessons & Activities
We need to teach them that making mistakes in the comfort of their home, could greatly impact their future decisions by giving a sense of importance coming from the use of money. Researchers from the University of Minnesota suggest focusing “children’s education about money on the concepts of earning, spending, saving, borrowing, and sharing.” The University of Arizona doctoral student Ashley LeBaron said in her studies that “Practice Makes Perfect: Experimental learning as a Method of Financial Socialization.”
Software Applications for Teaching Kids About Money
Miata Edoga, president of the financial education company Abundance Bound, told Parentology, “We don’t want our kids to be afraid of spending, or be afraid of managing credit. We want them to feel confident in their ability to negotiate successful financial lives, to come at money from a place of power, rather than fear.”
The information age ushered in new media teaching platforms and introduced the world to the “digital native.” New educational apps for kids are launched regularly. These technological tools use interactivity and gamification to make financial concepts fun for children and teens, Additionally, by Educating kids about core personal finance topics, these apps simulate the digital-era experience of using credit and debit cards, mobile payment methods, and online banking.
Wish your family just said “Thank You Mom” once in a while? Attend my upcoming webinar where I talk about it.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
What Do I Need to Do To Get Your Attention❓
What’s one of the first things you do when you get a moment to yourself? You probably pull out your phone. 📱
There’s so much you can do on your phone. You can have a whole conversation by text or talking. You can play a game, shop or watch one of your favorite shows.
However, when you’re raising children, there’s so much of you that’s required for them to grow up healthy: physically, mentally, and emotionally. Most important is to know what’s going on in their heads.
I was talking to one of my friends about their kids who are under the age of 5. We all agreed that if your child was awake and the house was quiet 🤫, they were probably getting into something! You had to watch them constantly!
As our kids get older, we feel that we don’t have to watch them as closely and assume that things are okay with them. If they weren’t, our kids would tell us. Natural assumption right?
Wrong!
In families today, our children are relying on us to put aside our devices and initiate discussions; listen to what’s going on with them. It’s not easy….
Your teen will talk. They have to be assured that you’re listening and won’t judge them. There can’t be any topic that you won’t discuss with them. Are you willing to talk about anything and everything? Can you listen without letting your facial expressions show how horrified you are with the conversation? 😫🤯
We are living in times where anything is possible and are kids want to explore, try out new and different theories, relationships and experiences. Being able to share their thoughts and concerns with you, helps them put them in perspective. Keeping the lines of communication open, by relating to your child’s thoughts and feelings; asking them what they think – makes all the difference in the world.
Have a meal together; it doesn’t matter which one. First require that all phones and tablets be put away. 2nd requirement: allow your child the freedom to say whatever is on their mind (must be respectful). Ask “Tell me what’s going on”. The first several conversations may be awkward while your kids try to figure out if you’re being honest and whether they can say what they feel. 🤷🏽♀️
Every time I hear or read about another mass shooting; I wonder who the shooter had to talk to within his family. If they shot or killed a family member before taking other lives, I wonder what kind of dysfunction was taking place. Were they able to share the fact that they were being bullied or that they were feeling anti-social? Were they abused? Are they suffering from a mental illness that went unaddressed?
I realize these are simple questions for complex issues. But what I do know is that young people have lots of challenges going on in their lives these days. We as parents can’t solve them all. However, being watchful, following your intuition (if you feel something is wrong, it is) and making it safe to tell you what’s going on, goes a long way to minimize issues that cause our kids to self-harm or harm others. Peace.
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
What Being Patient Does Not Mean
Have you ever had somebody tell you, “just be patient, it will come in time.”?
What did you think?
Did a little guilt or anger creep in? Or perhaps all you could think about is OMG, when is “it” going to happen!?
The problem with statements like just be patient, is that we are impatient by nature. We want what we want, right away. Today’s technology just exacerbates that right-now mentality because of our ability to request & respond to people immediately!
Today, I’m not interested in talking about how to be patient; what I do want to talk about, is what being patient does not mean.
For creative, inventive, amazing people, there are many other things to do, to prepare for what’s coming. Here are things I think about when I am waiting…
- Is there any preparation that I can complete?
- Are there other unrelated tasks that need to be completed?
- What fun activities can I do, to take my mind off of “are we there yet” questions?
- Walking, yoga, running, or working-out, are great activities to help you refocus
Preparing for something new that’s coming into my life, whether it’s a book that I’m writing, new clients joining my coaching program, or a vacation that I sorely need, requires patience.
Being patient does not mean being inactive or sitting still. Instead you are focusing your energies on activities, thoughts and preparation, so that when what you are expecting to come, occurs, you are ready for it!
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parenting coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
The Secret Lives of Teens on Social Media: Here’s What You Need to Know
Social media has become an integral part of our everyday lives. Parents use it, just like their children. However, on average, teenagers are the ones who spend the most time on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, TikTok and similar platforms.
This leaves many parents worried. Some are afraid that this habit will grow into an addiction, while others are concerned about cyberbullying, over-sharing, and an “all-about-attention” attitude.
Author Donna Lynn Hope asks an important question: “How different would people act if they couldn’t show off on social media? Would they still do it?”
If our children were to be born in more innocent times, without social media, would they be any different?
Consider these questions:
- How do we know what our children are doing online?
- Is there a way to control our child’s behavior on social media, without invading their privacy and breaking their trust?
- How do we recognize if social media is negatively affecting our children?
This topic is complicated, and there are no simple answers. However, if you ask your child about the time they spend on social media, you might be surprised at how willing they are to talk about it.
When you speak with them about their emotions and challenges, and address potential issues in self-esteem, you may find that social media won’t pose such a threat to them.
Even so, you may still be wondering how you can safely explore your child’s secret life on social media.
These solutions will help:
- Dignify their devices. If you want to limit your child’s social media usage, avoid taking away their device. They will find another one. Help them find effective ways to self-regulate, instead.
- Fear of missing out often motivates the time spent on social media.
- However, teens are aware of the consequences this habit creates. Encourage them to reflect on these consequences and focus on the impact social media overload has on their personal, academic, and other goals.
- Fear of missing out often motivates the time spent on social media.
- Ask about the apps. Ask your child which apps they spend the most time on. Is it Instagram, Facebook, or perhaps Snapchat? Once you find out, install those apps on your phone, too, and figure out how they work.
- Some apps have geolocation which can pose a real danger. Try to manage your child’s social media activity by informing them of the danger rather than imposing your opinion.
- Don’t be a manager, be a mentor.
- Some apps have geolocation which can pose a real danger. Try to manage your child’s social media activity by informing them of the danger rather than imposing your opinion.
- Help them to protect their privacy. Talk about privacy settings on different social media accounts. Some teens are not aware of this option.
- Agree with them to accept only the followers and friends that they know personally. This is not an easy task for a teen because the number of followers is often the barometer of popularity.
- However, if they understand the necessity for well-managed online presence, this shouldn’t be a problem.
- Agree with them to accept only the followers and friends that they know personally. This is not an easy task for a teen because the number of followers is often the barometer of popularity.
- Talk about sexting. Parents find the infamous conversation about “The Birds and the Bees” just as awkward as children do. However, now you have another level to deal with – sexting.
- Teens can often confuse sending explicit messages and photos for intimacy that might not exist.
- Talk about what it means to have a healthy relationship and how to develop and maintain one.
- Teens can often confuse sending explicit messages and photos for intimacy that might not exist.
- Overcome social media prejudice. Many parents believe that social media is completely, or almost completely, bad. However, it is neither good nor bad per se. It’s a new form of communication.
- When parents talk to their children about social media from this standpoint, the child is likely to withhold and hide information.
- Genuine curiosity and an open mind about your child’s interest in social media can make a significant difference.
- When parents talk to their children about social media from this standpoint, the child is likely to withhold and hide information.
- Care about their emotions. Teenagers want their opinions to be heard. This especially goes for the things they’re passionate or angry about. Social media offers instant feedback to their posts, which makes kids feel listened to, validated, and acknowledged.
- However, if you offer empathy for challenges your child is facing, you can provide listening and validation inside of your family, too. This will give you an insight into what your teen posts on social media and an opportunity to help them self-filter.
When your child asks you for the first time if they can open a social media account, avoid judging them or jumping to conclusions. Accept their need to engage in such community-based way of communication, talk about it, and help them build a safe profile.
Teach them how to protect themselves and what to expect.
You’ll never have all the information about their activity, but if you’re interested and understanding, you might get just the right amount.
I help parents build the kind of communication and trust that allows parent-child relationships to grow and feel better through coaching and parent classes. Email me for more information: info@clynnwilliams.com 😘
Thanks for reading my blog and following me on Instagram and Twitter @MsParentguru.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
My Teen Is Old Enough…
Being a teen is overrated. They are old enough to know what to do, but they don’t have the maturity or experience to consistently make the right decisions.
Being a teen is overrated. They are old enough to know what to do, but they don’t have the maturity or experience to consistently make the right decisions.
I was the oldest child and my mom and dad taught me the difference between right and wrong. I was responsible for “setting a good example” for my brother and sister. While I didn’t want to disappoint them, my parents also had “eyes” in the community and throughout the city; other adults who would report back if they saw me in places where they didn’t think I should be. Even so, I broke the rules… like the time I rode on my boyfriend’s motorcycle. Two broken rules:
- No boyfriends (at my age)
- No riding on anyone’s motorcycle
Never mind that we could have an accident and I could be hurt or killed. That never occurred to me (as a teen) because I was fearless and willing to try things. Even if it meant breaking the rules.
Parents often believe that once their child becomes a teenager, they don’t need as much supervision. That’s not true either. You don’t have to worry that your teen will fall down the stairs, like a 2- or 3-year-old. But they could accept a ride from a stranger when they need to get someplace on time. Or they may be tricked into giving out their phone number in an online chat, because the person they’re talking to says they are 15 too, like your child.
Think about the recent rash of carjackings or smash and grab crimes that are being performed by teens. Some of the kids are 12 or 13 years old. I can hear you – “Not My Child”.
How do you know?
You work every day and you’ve taught your child right from wrong. They would never steal a car, hold a person at gunpoint/knifepoint, or snatch their purse/wallet. Right?
You say, “my child is smart, comes from a two-parent family, we are not poor.” Those crimes only occur with/by… You fill-in the rest of this sentence with your thoughts or biases.
As a parent expert who has taught and studied adolescents, teens, and 20-somethings for the past 20 years, I can tell you this:
- Teens love thrill and excitement
- They are easily influenced by their peers and the world around them
- Leaving them on their own for 3-4 hours every day (after school) without supervision is a problem
Join my Zoom Parent Masterclass on Thursday, October 21st where we will discuss teens: their wants, needs and love language. Admission is $25 until October 9th; $45 thereafter.
CLICK HERE to Register.
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting coaching programs that help you through Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters and Fathers and their Sons.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Give Them Something To Believe In
Life is funny, you leave one crisis, and move into a second or third one.
This week I’m thinking about boys… yes, our sons. And the challenges some of them face growing up.
For the last several years, we have experienced a number of young men losing their life to gun violence. Violence of being shot by rivals and violence due to police shootings. Last year (2020), not only did we experience over 600,000 people who died from COVID-19, we also watched as the number of black boys and men who were shot and killed by police, increased.
Toward the end of 2020, many cities noticed a rash of crimes where people were being carjacked and robbed or killed. Many of these crimes were committed by young men, some as young as 11 or 12. It makes you wonder what kind of direction or guidance they are receiving at home?
I had firsthand knowledge of guidance for a young boy.
My little brother…
I think back to my brother and how he responded to my mom and dad’s divorce. He was young, about 11 years old and missed having Dad at home. He was angry and felt alone.
He started getting into trouble.
A lot. Getting into trouble in those days, meant being disrespectful, destroying somebody’s property, or stealing. Our dad wasn’t coming by for regular visits, but if my mother called about my brother, Dad would come and discipline him.
My brother was so unhappy that he began trying to take his life. (Thank God he was unsuccessful.) He also began hanging out with the “bad boys” in the neighborhood.
My mother sold our house and moved to a different neighborhood.
Who can say what kind of stress these boys are undergoing at home?
- It could be due to financial issues.
- Maybe the stress is verbal or physical.
- Your son could be dealing with depression.
- Perhaps he is reacting to deaths of people he knows due to COVID-19, domestic or gun violence. If his family has gang affiliation and the violence is orchestrated by gang leaders, imagine how stressful that could be.
How do you help your son if he is facing any of these (or other issues)? What do you do if he’s going through male teen angst? Maybe he’s exhibiting disrespectful, aggressive, violent behavior or mood swings.
What happens if you can’t change neighborhoods?
Try these five things before giving up or seeking professional help:
- Schedule Time With Your Son – talk frequently and spend regularly scheduled time with him and keep his schedule jam-packed with school, sports, clubs, time with friends, and after-school jobs.
- Set a Sleep Routine – it’s easier being a teen if he’s getting enough sleep.
- Get Moving – the last thing a moody teen wants to do is get up and move, but it’s one of the best ways he can feel better.
- Listen Without Lecturing – resist the urge to lecture your son. Listen with an open mind.
- Keep Your Cool – take a deep breath, keep your cool and find a way to communicate without lashing out.
Find an honorable, trustworthy male mentor that he can talk to, when he can’t talk to you. Remember to model healthy ways to handle stress. Take good care yourself.
I help parents build the kind of communication and trust that allows parent-child relationships to grow and feel better through coaching and parent classes. Email me for more information: info@clynnwilliams.com 😘
Thanks for reading my blog. Follow me on Instagram and Twitter @MsParentguru.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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