Posts tagged ‘youth’

How Do You Manage Anger?

Dealing with anger and its repercussions can be very challenging. Being unaware of how to handle irritating and stressful situations may be a reason for many fits of anger and rage. Most people, except for young children and (possibly) teens, recognize their problem with uncontrollable anger.  Although there are many anger management activities which would enable them to better cope with confrontational situations, some people are unaware of these techniques and activities.

There are many anger management activities that parents and their children can practice or participate in when attempting to cope with daily feelings of anger.

One activity which is recommended for anger management is exercise. Exercise has been proven to have a positive impact on a person’s mood. Exercise helps an individual to decrease any negative feelings they might be experiencing. An effective anger management activity might be as simple as going for a walk or jog in the park. Visiting the gym to work out of taking part in their favorite sport may work well for an individual as an anger management activity. Taking a hike or spending a few hours in the beauty of nature would definitely allow a person to clear their head and release tension. Outdoor anger management activities can create an environment of serenity.

Anger management activities such as attending a support group, camp or retreat would help people who are experiencing difficulties controlling their anger. One positive aspect of attending anger management activities allows the person to see that their problem is not unique; that it is shared by plenty of other people. Being able to share with people in similar situations might be the key to anger management for some individuals. Sharing would likely provide hope through success stories. In anger management activities such as these, people are forced

to deal with their anger issues through various activities group sessions and one on one consults.

Anger management activities are recommended when dealing with children who are coping with anger or loss issues. A child is unlikely to respond well to group sessions and perhaps even become bored with one on one consultations. Finding activities which are interesting and even challenging may be a better alternative. Kids enjoy fun and games. Designing anger management games which are enjoyable yet beneficial would be so much more effective than forcing a child to sit down with an anger management counselor. Worksheets, coloring pages, individual games as well as interactive games would be accepted much better by children than a trip to the psychiatrist. When children are involved, it is essential to approach the problem carefully. Being overbearing will not go over well with kids. When considering anger management activities for kids, it is essential to be mindful that they are only children and the approach is important.

When considering anger management activities, choose ones which you find interesting and enjoyable. Sticking a person in an unfamiliar setting may create additional feelings of anger or isolation, neither of which is the intention of anger management activities. Finding an activity that works should be the key focus. I will be hosting a free parenting class on anger and grief on June 1, 2018 at Dyett High School through Parent University. Registration is highly recommended due to class size: dyettparentu.eventbrite.com

 

C. Lynn Williams

#MsParentguru & Founder of Finding Superwoman™

clynnwilliams.com

May 30, 2018 at 9:23 pm Leave a comment

Tips For #Backpack Safety For Kids

(reblogged from TheBlackList Pub)backpack pic

It’s that time of the year again, time to go back to school shopping. As another summer comes to an end and a new school year is quickly approaching, parents are beginning to prepare their kids for a successful year at school and this often means the purchasing of a new backpack. With so much to do in order to prepare for the upcoming school year, few stop to think about backpack safety for kids. Did you know that carrying a heavy backpack to school just may be causing health problems for your kids?

According to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, children between the ages of 5-18 account for 6,500 emergency room visits related to carrying a backpack that is too heavy for them. More research indicates that by the end of the school year, nearly 60 percent of all school-aged children will experience at least one episode of lower back pain. Backpacks that are too heavy are responsible for a significant amount of back pain from children ranging in age from elementary school all the way up through college. Common symptoms of poor backpack loading and carrying can include headaches, poor posture, neck pain and shoulder pain or stiffness. Here are some tips to help you pick a bookbag that won’t harm your child’s back.

Tips for Backpack Safety for Kids:

Make sure your child’s bookbag is no more than 5-10 percent of his/her body weight. A backpack that is too heavy will cause your child to bend forward in an attempt to better support the weight of his/her backpack rather than allow the shoulders and straps to support the weight. A bookbag that is overweight can be dangerous to the health of your child’s back.

Compartments are key. Look for a backpack with compartments to effectively pack your child’s bag. You won’t have to worry about your child’s lunch being flattened under their textbooks.

When packing a backpack, make sure your child places items that are bulky or pointy away from the back of the backpack. Pens and pencils rubbing against your child’s back can lead to painful blisters.

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C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parent Coach
www.clynnwilliams.com

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)

August 31, 2014 at 1:05 pm Leave a comment

If You Make Time, They Will Come..

Mom Talking to Daughter 2

Ever wonder why we like reality TV? Probably because the stories are so true-life; the characters get to say & do whatever (ridiculous or not) comes to their minds (or the mind of the show’s writer) and there’s always a new angle! Oh most importantly — they are addicting.

Here’s an alternative: You and your daughter take some time 30-60-90 minutes; list your top five issues with each other. Set ground rules and make it ‘safe’ to talk openly & honestly. Promise each other that you will not HOLD Grudges after your time together. For my journalers, write down your thoughts. At my recent Stop Driving Me CraZy Mother – Daughter Retreat, daughters shared that they liked the activities like Mirror-Mirror and Trust Me! Some opened up and told their moms what was on their mind. Mothers enjoyed the video and breakout sessions.

It might feel awkward or ‘fake’, but don’t worry it can breathe life into your relationship. She may act like it doesn’t matter if you both talk or not. But don’t listen to that. Secretly (inside) she is dying for a wonderful relationship with you! Your normally unresponsive, hormonal teen daughter may share things you wouldn’t have imagined. Just try not to flip out if you hear something weird.

By the way, feel free to share this blog post with others and (share) your thoughts with me. I’d love to hear them! My next mother – daughter retreat will be held in November in Chicago, IL. Interested? Email me at clynn@clynnwilliams.com

Happy Relating!

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Author & Parent Coach
www.clynnwilliams.com

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Communications, 2013)

June 19, 2014 at 4:39 pm Leave a comment

Keep Your Hands (and Other Body Parts) to Yourself

SexualAbuse2At the risk of sounding insensitive, I admit that I have gotten desensitized to news about priests and coaches molesting boys and girls. It happens so often, it seems like daily news. I don’t like it, and it seems to take forever for the truth to come out (the kids are usually adults). Of course, nobody believes that a man of the cloth or a favorite coach is touching our kids inappropriately. Wake up America! Did it ever occur that the ‘acting out’ that our kids are doing, may be related to a secret they are ashamed to tell you?

What I still can’t stomach, is when our teen girls tell us (mothers) that they are being sexually molested by their fathers, stepfathers, uncles (family members) and we don’t listen. What is that about? As I mentor teen girls and young women, I want to say that I’m shocked that mothers prefer to believe their (in some cases) pedophile boyfriend to their own daughter. The sex can’t be that good. To make matters worse, you kick your daughter out, because you can’t possibly believe her. Now what is she supposed to do?

Remember the movie Precious? Precious’ mother knew her husband (Precious’ biological dad) was having sex with his daughter and had fathered Precious’ two children. Yuck! But it happens, probably more often than we care to admit, and it’s a dirty little family secret – especially if a child is born. If there was ever a reason for castration, sexually molesting your kid, niece, nephew or granddaughter is number one as far as this mother is concerned! What are your thoughts?

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & Parent Coach

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Communications, 2013)

February 6, 2014 at 12:35 pm Leave a comment

Timeout for Bullies

Last week one of my friends found out that her nine year old son was being bullied at school. Not only did she find out that he was being bullied, she found out from her mother (his grandmother) because he didn’t want to tell her! As a result of the bullying, he had become withdrawn in class and a couple of his teachers were yelling at him too. So how do you get your child to talk to you about bullying?
When I talk to parents about their children being bullied, I often remember running home from school daily in fifth grade. There were two girls – one lived on my block, and the other was in my fifth grade class. What was interesting about the school bully was that the teacher knew that I was being constantly bullied by this girl. I told her. I was involved in a fight after school. Actually it was no fight; I was usually beaten unless I could outrun her (which I often did). Think about it for a minute. The adult that I trusted, my teacher offered no refuge for me except to let me out of school a few minutes early or to keep me after class with the hopes that the other student got tired of waiting and went home. My mother had a different approach altogether. There was no sitting down with the parent of the bully on the block and talking things out. Oh no. My mother talked to me and said “you fight back”. She actually spanked me when I came home crying indicating once again that I hadn’t fought back! Now I know that my mother did the best she could to help me protect myself against the girls who were bullying me. Then, it was a nightmare!

According to MBMBD: http://www.makebeatsnotbeatdowns.org/facts_new.html
90% of 4th through 8th graders report being victims of bullying
Among students, homicide perpetrators were more than twice as likely as homicide victims to have been bullied by peers.

Today, there is a plethora of anti-bullying resources available to parents. One website, Kidpower offers resources to not only parents but youth and teens to protect against bullying, molestation, abduction and other violence. http://www.kidpower.org/
One of the reasons that I like having dinner with family is that you get to ask and talk about your day and your children’s day. It helps if there are siblings who also go to the same school, because often siblings tell what’s going on when the child being harassed won’t.
If your child becomes withdrawn, won’t eat or communicate with you, let him or her spend time with grandma or grandpa or another close family member to see if they will share what’s causing them to withdraw. If a family member is not available, check with your child’s school for the name of the school psychologist or social worker. Bullying is devastating and doesn’t go away on its own.

C. Lynn Williams, #msparentguru
Author and Parenting Coach

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)

February 25, 2013 at 12:45 pm Leave a comment

Teaching School Tolerance

I saw this link on pregnant teen girls and our need to be sure that they are educated in school. Check it out and tell me what you think.

http://www.tolerance.org/blog/support-pregnant-teens-lasts-generations

Submitted by Sarah Sansburyon March 30, 2012

Paulina walked slowly down the hall, her gait marked by the waddle of many pregnant mothers. As she came closer, you could see her belly, slightly swollen. You felt her discomfort as she squeezed into her desk. Five months in, she hadn’t seen a doctor or taken any vitamins. The baby’s father wasn’t in the picture. There were rumors of rape. Her parents had all but disowned her.

What role should the school play in the life of a teenage mom? How can we help?

Of course we don’t advocate teen pregnancy. Pregnancy prevention is the best policy. However, the question is what to do when it happens—because it will happen.

Like all teenagers—no matter their creed, race, gender—young mothers are still students deserving an equal opportunity for education. A school needs to be flexible in making that happen.

Sadly, the fact is teen moms are more likely to drop out than graduate. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, only 50 percent of teen moms get their diploma. Of those who get their high school diploma, only an estimated 2 percent will graduate from college by age 30. It’s not only hard to be a mom while going through school, but that most schools do not offer teen moms the needed support.

In fact, only a few states have specific laws requiring schools to provide special services for teen moms like home-bound studies or in-school programs. Other states, like  Kansas, have no laws regarding attendance or alternative programs. Some states“require” helpful programs for teen moms. Others “encourage”them. Some schools do an excellent job of serving pregnant or parenting teens.

A teen mother‘s success seems unfortunately tied to the luck of the draw—the state and district where she attends school. One purpose of public education is  to help create capable, contributing citizens—even if they are young moms. A little help now may be all she needs to stay on the path of education.

We need to champion their needs—whether that means speaking to your administration, board of education members, or even state legislators. And, if you have any pregnant students, be flexible and supportive as best you can. It can be as simple as providing a comfortable desk area or, on a larger scale, supplying materials and instruction needed while she recovers during maternity leave.

No matter what our personal philosophy is on teen pregnancy, we need to boost our students’ likelihood for success.

Paulina, a senior, had a baby boy in January. With the support of her teachers and school counselor, she had started taking prenatal vitamins, regularly seeing a doctor and will be participating in a home-bound study program when she’s on maternity leave. She is determined to graduate—for a better future for her and her baby.

Sansbury is a middle and high school teacher in Georgia.

April 2, 2012 at 4:11 pm Leave a comment

Kindergarteners Getting Suspended?

What’s amazing to me is the different age groups of children who are getting into trouble, to the extent that it becomes newsworthy. The morning talk show, The Talk featured a story about kindergarteners getting suspended in alarming numbers. When I think of kindergarteners, I think of 5 or 6 year olds who are pretty tame and wonderful to work with, assuming you have established groundrules.

Without groundrules and consequences, there is chaos for children of any age. Children, youth, and teens rely on the adults in their lives to establish boundaries to allow them to grow and mature properly. As I say in my new book, The Pampered Prince, if your only consequence to Johnny when he does something wrong is to say “No Johnny”, then you and Johnny have a problem.

What are your thoughts?

November 16, 2011 at 2:51 am 1 comment


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