Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens

How to Stay Connected to Aging Family Members (Even From a Distance)

March 18, 2026 at 11:00 am Leave a comment

A couple of years ago, we celebrated my aunt’s 90th birthday.
It was a milestone moment—she’s the last of my mother’s sisters, and no one in our family had ever lived to 90.

She’s one of my sheroes.

She has always spoken her mind (and still does), and she’s always gone after what she wanted. In many ways, she’s been like a parent to me—especially since both of my parents are now gone.

But here’s the reality…

My Aunt Mae lives 3,000 miles away.
She doesn’t care for technology.
And she’s living with dementia.

For a while, I did what many of us do—I sent cards, letters, and checked in when I could. But I started to wonder:

Is she receiving them? Opening them? Remembering me?

That’s when it hit me—
staying connected would have to be more intentional.

Because with memory loss, it’s not about whether they remember every interaction…
it’s about how often they feel your presence.

What This Looks Like for Me

My sister and I now make it a point to call regularly—on her phone, because we know she’ll answer (most days). Since she doesn’t always realize the phone is ringing (it’s probably on vibrate), I call twice back-to-back.

Sometimes we use video so she can see us.
Sometimes it works perfectly.
Sometimes it doesn’t.

But we keep showing up anyway.

Tips for Staying Connected With Aging Loved Ones

Connection with aging loved ones—especially from a distance—requires more than occasional check-ins. It requires consistency, creativity, and compassion. Here are a few ways to stay meaningful:

1. Prioritize consistent touchpoints
   Even if they don’t remember every call, the feeling of connection matters. A familiar voice, repeated routine—it all builds emotional security.
2. Meet them where they are
   If they don’t like technology, don’t force it—but gently introduce what works. Seeing or hearing each other, even imperfectly, matters.
3. Create simple, repeatable routines
   Call on the same days. Use the same greetings. Familiarity brings comfort, especially for those experiencing memory loss.
4. Stay connected beyond conversation
   Photos, voice notes, short videos, or asking nearby relatives to share moments can help you stay present in their daily life.
5. Give yourself grace
   This journey can be emotional. You may feel guilt, sadness, or frustration. That doesn’t make you a bad family member—it makes you human.

A Gentle Reminder

If you still have aging parents, grandparents, or loved ones here…

Don’t wait for the “perfect” moment to reach out.
Call. Visit. Try. Try again.

One day, you’ll be grateful you did.

How are you staying connected to your aging loved ones? I’d love to hear what’s working for you.

And if you’re looking for ways to strengthen family relationships across generations, I’m here to help.
—Ms. Parent Guru

http://clynnwilliams.com/

Entry filed under: #agingfamilymembers, #generations, #MsParentguru, #stayingconnected, dementia, family, love, Parenting, relationships. Tags: dementia, family, life, love, parenting, staying connected, writing.