Posts filed under ‘feelings’

It Is Okay to Feel What You’re Feeling

We’ve been quarantined for 7 weeks now. It’s okay to express what you’re feeling.

Continue Reading May 1, 2020 at 12:25 pm Leave a comment

How to Stay Positive

This is a strange time right now, if my mom were alive, we would say “Mercury is retrograde”. If you’re a feeling type, you may just ‘feel’ strange. For me, I watch patterns. I’m used to things flowing evenly and smoothly, so when I start to misplace items, or the people around me become weird, I pay attention to myself and them. Sometimes, my intuition takes over and I feel uncomfortable with my environment, or my social community – the world. That’s definitely happening right now. Besides clients telling me how overwhelmed they feel, I’m reading (or hearing) news reports about more killings and suicides. 

While I know we are not responsible for other people, sometimes those within your circle of influence will say things in an effort to ask for help. I’ve had it happen with my children, my students and friends. If they needed more than a listening ear, I referred them to a (school) social worker or psychologist.

What about you? How do you stay positive when your personal world is turning upside down? Taking a page from one of my thought leaders who deals with mindful-living, here are five things happy people do (to stay positive):[1]

  • They don’t tie happiness to external events
  • They exercise – exercise is shown to help with depression by raising endorphins. Endorphins trigger a positive feeling in the body, which makes you feel good.
  • They have close relationships; ideally 3-5 with people whom they can discuss important ideas or problems
  • They spend money on experiences not things
  • They don’t ignore negative emotions. Sometimes we will tell ourselves that we are imagining the problems and if we ignore them, they will go away. Not true! When you won’t allow yourself to grieve, get angry or feel disappointed, it stuffs those emotions down deep and they will surface much later, when you least expect it.

We are wonderful, complex people, living in a fast-paced, highly technical, global fishbowl. We are subject to make mistakes, lots of them and it’s not the end of the world when we do. Many of us have been taught that a project isn’t complete unless it is perfect. There is no such thing as perfect – especially to entrepreneurs, inventors and creatives. It is just as important to have fun as it is to work. Interact with people that you enjoy.

Talk to someone when you feel you can’t go on.

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

[1] https://hackspirit.com/7-habits-authentically-happy-people-nothing-positive-thinking-3/

June 8, 2018 at 1:55 pm Leave a comment

Father and Daughter Relationships

There is NOTHING like a great father & daughter relationship. When I say great, I mean the father is active in his daughter’s life. They spend time together, and talk about most topics (some are still Mom-only topics like menstrual periods and bra sizes) and they listen to each other. But most importantly, dads are a girl’s first male relationship. How he responds or doesn’t respond to her can color her relationships with men forever. 

I had a great dad. He was the go-to person when my mother felt she needed the other parent to step in. He was also the fun parent. He would play with us (until he had had enough), as a teen, I could talk to him, when there was no one else to talk to. He was a sane voice I needed to hear, when I went through divorce. Yet he was flawed at the strangest times. #newbook

As part of my research for my new father-daughter book, I have an online survey for fathers and one for daughters. I would appreciate it if you completed it. I will also conduct a focus group, so email me if you would like to be a part of it.

Daughter Survey

Father Survey

Thank you in advance for your support!

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

March 14, 2018 at 3:00 pm Leave a comment

How to Move Past Holiday Depression

Have you ever had the blues and couldn’t shake it off? Last year around the holidays, I was going through life’s storms. My father had passed away at the beginning of the year, and we were having financial difficulties. While Christmas gift-giving was very lean, we enjoyed getting together with our children and other family members.xmas-tear

I was happy to be alive and healthy.     

This year my coaching business has picked up and my husband is working. You would think our holiday forecast would be brighter, (and it is) however there are different challenges. I’m busier than ever before and have little time for thinking and planning. I realize that I have to let some things go. #choices #challenges

As much as I love the holidays, I have mixed feelings about enjoying them because of so many family members we have lost in past years. I think about one of my favorite aunts who is no longer around to say Merry Christmas or my mom who isn’t here to make her delicious almond cookies and listen to my stories.

To move myself past these feelings of loss and sadness, for the last 30 days, I have been telling God & myself 5 things (daily) for which I am thankful. Today was a more emotional morning and I decided to list 10 things. These reminders of things (or people) for whom I am thankful, make me feel blessed for the good that I have. It also keeps me from focusing on what hasn’t happened yet or who is no longer with me.

What I do know, is that as festive as the Christmas holidays are, it also brings up memories of family & friends who are no longer with us. For me, it means not getting stuck in those memories and making new ones instead. Our daughter got married this year and we have a new son-in-law. New memories! One of our nieces had a baby, which means we now have six great nephews! New memories! I’m doing what I love to do which is teach, write books & coach parents on being & doing better.

I know that I am in control of my thoughts, and how I feel is determined by how I view the experiences in life. I can see life as half-empty (depressing) or half-full (promising). So I’m drying my tears and thinking about those 10 things for which I am thankful for. One of them is you!  

C. Lynn Williams

Author & Founder of Finding Superwoman™

http://www.clynnwilliams.com
#Happy Holidays!
#findingsuperwoman

December 6, 2017 at 10:14 pm Leave a comment

Question for You!

What should you do if you don’t like your kid? “I didn’t want a child, but my husband did. So we had a child. She is cared for by my husband and his parents. She is 4, and talks constantly. She’s driving me crazy. What can I do?”


(This question was posed on one of my online networks for parents, and it really touched my heart)

How would you advise this mom? I’d love to hear back from you. I’ll print the first 5 responses (serious answers only, no sarcasm please) in next week’s blog.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
www.clynnwilliams.com/contact

October 4, 2017 at 6:55 am Leave a comment

Tantrums of a Grown Woman

What adults do you know have TEMPER TANTRUMS? Have you ever had a hissy, (a bitch fit, a melt-down) and didn’t know how to handle it? Where did that  anger come from? I mean it’s one thing to get angry; it’s another to get so mad, you can hardly control yourself! I’m talking about how I felt and what I did to control myself. I’ve been angry before, and found that I felt better if I could blame someone else for how I felt – like my kids or my husband or my hormones. And while I know that’s not healthy, it’s what I did at that time. I’ve since MATURED!

I was really angry at the circumstances that I found myself in. On the one hand I was following my own advice, the advice that I give my Finding Superwoman™ clients when they start to feel overwhelmed. However I was mad at my Creator for being in the situation that I was in. As a faith-based person, I believe that you decide what path you want to take, pray about it and Take a Leap (of faith). As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr said: “Faith is taking the first step, even if you don’t see the whole staircase.”

As I gave myself time to think about what was really going on in my life, I decided that it wasn’t my faith or Creator, it was the choices that I had made for the last year and a half and the daily thoughts that I was thinking that landed me in the position that I found myself.

When things get tough for us as grown women, I believe there are a couple of ways you can handle the situation. 1: You can either have a temper tantrum (like I did), or 2: You can take deep look at the chain of events that got you where you currently are. The deep look inside builds wisdom because it causes you to do self-reflection.

On this particular morning, I allowed myself to have a meltdown – – a temper tantrum and decided to feel sorry for myself, the world is so cruel and that was it. That didn’t last very long because it felt weird.  I settled down, reached for my journal and wrote how I felt; then asked for guidance. It didn’t take long and I felt better.

I would love to hear How you handle disappointments?

When I coach my clients about finding their superwoman, I encourage them to discuss what’s really bugging them and determine what is most important in their life: work, family or relationships. Once they’ve sorted out what’s most important, we work on determining how to remove stress and those feelings of being overwhelmed by what family members and work associates think about the decisions we’ve made. I believe that you can have a wonderful relationship with your partner and your children as well as a successful career. If you are struggling to make this happen, Click Here to schedule a complimentary discovery session.

 

C. Lynn Williams

Award-winning Author & Founder of Finding Superwoman™
www.clynnwilliams.com

March 30, 2017 at 1:19 pm Leave a comment

5 Steps to Overcoming the Guilt of Missed Milestones

When I was growing up, I never understood why my mom constantly talked to me about what to do if something other than what she planned – happened. I was the oldest, and she expected me to be able to continue to follow through if circumstances interrupted her plans for us. She was very intentional about planning and said it helped her manage her hectic schedule of being a wife, mother and a working woman, as well as ours. babys-hand-guilt-mom

As a wife, mother and entrepreneur, I realize how important it is to plan for the unexpected, whether it’s a car accident that causes schedules to be delayed or whether it’s a last minute science project and supplies have to be purchased. I also know what’s like to miss an event for my kids and feeling guilty about it. One of the ways I help my clients is to help them work through issues like guilt and keep guilt, stress and overwhelm from making them feel inadequate, overwhelmed or like a failure.

2017 is a great year to lose your guilt. As an entrepreneur, wife and mother, there was nothing that stressed me out like an unexpected event or family emergency. I’ve learned how to move past guilt and I talked about it during my webinar on Tuesday. I shared 5 key steps to managing guilt during my Missed Milestones webinar as part of a plan to help working women and mothers get a better handle on stress and anxiety.

If you missed this free webinar, no worries, the replay is available until Wednesday, March 1st

Click here to watch the replay.guilt-ridden-mom

Don’t miss it! Kick the chaos out of your life!

When I mentor my clients about finding their superwoman, I encourage them to determine what is most important in each area of their life: work, family and relationships. Once they’ve sorted out what’s most important, we go to work determining how to remove guilt and those feelings of being overwhelmed by what our family members and work associates think about the decisions we’ve made.

You can have a wonderful relationship with your partner and your children as well as a promising career. If making this happen is really hard for you, text CONSULT to 708.501.7060 for a complimentary discovery session with me.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

Founder, Finding Superwoman™
http://www.clynnwilliams.com

February 23, 2017 at 6:18 pm Leave a comment

Help for Stressed Out Working Moms

ktc-photoWhen I was growing up, my mom and grandmother always told me that cleanliness is next to godliness. Right along with that saying, my mom stressed being organized. She felt that being organized helped her manage her hectic schedule of being a wife, mother and working.

As a wife, mother and entrepreneur, I realize how important it is to be organized not only in my home, but in my business and in my head. I’ve talked about it with my clients and often hear that they feel that staying organized is impossible especially at home because either the kids have their stuff everywhere or your partner does – or both are culprits.

Why not start now? 2017 is a great year to become more organized. As an entrepreneur, wife and mother, there is always something I need or should be doing with my time. On Tuesday, I shared 4 key steps to getting organized during my Getting Organized webinar. This webinar is a part of my Kick the Chaos strategy to help working women and mothers like you, get a better handle on their work-life balance.
If you missed this free webinar, no worries, I’ve posted the replay until Wednesday, Feb 1st

Click here to watch the replay: http://bit.ly/2k5TxW7
Don’t miss it! Kick the chaos out of your life!

When I coach my clients about finding their superwoman, I encourage them to determine what is most important in each area of their life: work, family and relationships. Once they’ve sorted out what’s most important, we go to work determining how to remove guilt and those feelings of being overwhelmed by what our family members and work associates think about the decisions we’ve made. You can have a wonderful relationship with your partner and your children as well as a promising career. If making this happen is really hard for you, text CONSULT to 708.501.7060 for a complimentary discovery session with me.

C. Lynn Williams

Author & Founder of Finding Superwoman™
http://www.clynnwilliams.com

January 26, 2017 at 7:45 pm Leave a comment

It’s Complicated…

My daughter and I are hosting a series of romance webinars (one per month) and last night was our 2nd webinar. In our Dating With The Right Tools webinar, we talked about those areas and behaviors that keep us attracting the wrong person. The term It’s Complicated was mentioned and it sounded like a great topic to talk more about it in my blog today. its-complicated
It’s Complicated… There are two things I think about when I hear those words. One is the Facebook status that talks about where you are in your relationship, and the second is the movie with Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin.

It’s complicated usually means that one of the two of you is in multiple relationships with other people. While we didn’t stay on that topic for very long last night; we did talk about the importance of knowing what you want in a relationship (whether you’re in a relationship or not).

Knowing what you want out of a partner helps you determine whether the man or woman you meet on Friday is someone you want to spend more time with or not. In our romance series we want to level the playing field and say out loud, what women think in their heads, but don’t say. If you want to date multiple people, go for it! As long as everyone involved knows what’s going on, it’s simple – not complicated. If you want to be in a monogamous relationship, that’s simple too, as long as you discuss what you want with your partner and they agree with you. Being afraid to enter a new relationship because of issues of trust, is challenging and a topic that women don’t often share, but feel very deeply.

While my daughter is the relationship therapist, I coach working women to find balance in all areas of their lives: work/business, children, significant other and themselves. I believe women can have it all with a plan, organization and the ability to say no without guilt. Recently, many women have told me that they are basically ‘married’ to their work and have no room for romance or dating. That is complicated! Don’t let this be your story. Knowing how distracted I can become when I’m working on a presentation or writing a book, it’s easy to work night and day. However, I’ve learned to walk away (from my work) and take some time to enjoy my family and husband. This is what I share in my Finding Superwoman coaching program.

Here are four tools You Can Use to get more out of dating whether you are single, in a relationship or married:

  • Set Goals for yourself on what it is you want out of a relationship. If you want to spice up a relationship that you are currently in, plan fun things and set a regular date night. It doesn’t have to be expensive, be creative. If you are interested in starting the dating scene, think of things you enjoy doing. They can range from becoming involved in a local choir, joining a meetup of movie lovers or donating your time at a local girls and boys club.
  • Stay Honest by discussing your likes dislikes and values when you begin dating instead of assuming the other person knows what they are, or trying to be somebody that you’re not.
  • Changing others to make them fit into the mold that you want never works… at least not very long. Both of you will be unhappy because neither is appreciated for who they are.
  • Romance is an investment because not only is money part of this equation, but your time and your partner’s time is as well. If you know you love a person with champagne tastes, why date someone with beer tastes and expectations? In other words, date someone with similar interests to yours. You will be much happier.

If you feel you keep attracting the wrong person or are giving far more than you want, then click here to replay our Dating With The Right Tools webinar:

Our next live webinar is scheduled for Tuesday, January 10th at 7 pm (CST) and it’s titled “I Want to Get Married, Now What?” Here’s the link to register: Click

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Coach & Author
www.clynnwilliams.com

December 9, 2016 at 12:13 am Leave a comment

The Cost of Anger to Me

Last week as I was driving to a meeting, I signaled to move into the lane to my right. Apparently I was too close to the driver behind me because the road-rage
next thing I knew, he sped ahead of me, changed into my lane and put on his brakes… I said to myself – “I’ve just been a victim of road rage! He probably didn’t think more about it, because he had satisfied that moment of complete rage. But I thought about how our anger, our rage gets the best of us every day.

My hubs tells me I’m on the ‘red train’ when I get really angry. Physiologically, my head hurts and I feel irrational. Imagine what that does to the organs in our bodies like our hearts, our brains, etc. The urban idiom is called ‘pop off’ meaning you lost your cool.

According to Livestrong.com, “Anger is an emotion that is associated with resentment, frustration, irritability and rage. Chinese medicine asserts that this choleric emotion is stored in the liver and gallbladder, which produce and store bile, respectively. This anger can affect many biological processes that sap energy and cause headaches, dizziness and high blood pressure.”¹ According to Lavelle Hendricks, “Before anger affects any part of our body, it has to affect our brain first. When we experience anger, the brain causes the body to release stress hormones, adrenaline andScream noradrenaline. These chemicals help the body control the heart rate and blood pressure.”²

Just think about how many people you know who have experienced heart attacks or aneurysms. I’m thinking about how my anger affects not only me, but also my kids and my husband. As a mom, I like being in control – to understand where everything is, my role, and how it affects my family. But, there are so many things that are outside of my control. Like someone bumping into to me on the street, or driving too close, or your kid having a bad day and saying something disrespectful. For our own sanity and the sake of our bodies, we have to let things go and move on without anger or self-recrimination. Hey…don’t lose your cool

[1] http://www.livestrong.com/article/193234-what-emotions-affect-different-organs-in-the-human-body/

[2]http://www.nationalforum.com/Electronic%20Journal%20Volumes/Hendricks,%20LaVelle%20The%20Effects%20of%20Anger%20on%20the%20Brain%20and%20Body%20NFJCA%20V2%20N1%202013.pdf

 

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, MothersDaughters, Mothers and their Sons or  Finding Superwoman™ for Overworked Moms.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
Want more Romance  in your life? Register for my Nov 1st webinar: How To Put Romance Back Into Your Schedule

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Speaker & Author

www.clynnwilliams.com

October 26, 2016 at 2:31 pm Leave a comment

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