How To Get Your Toddler To Sleep
While my children are no longer toddlers, it seem like yesterday when I hardly got a full night’s sleep. EVER!
I’m sharing a wonderful post from Soccer Mom blog where she shares the SECRET I wish I’d known years ago. Click on the link.
Enjoy & Happy Mother’s Day! đšđˇđ
2 Tips to Help You Prevent Gun Accidents With Your Kids
I was watching Greyâs Anatomy last night, and their subject was about two 8 year old boys who had been playing with a gun and one of them got shot. Since I donât watch the show regularly, Iâm not familiar with each doctor, but as a mom and parent coach, the story line had my full attention!
I Â also wondered how the boys had gotten a hold of a gun. When the mothers arrived at the hospital, the mother of the boy who had been shot admitted that it was her gun and that it was locked in a box. So how did they get in the locked box? During surgery, the female doctor asked that question as well â how did the boys get the gun if it was locked up, and where was the babysitter.
That was my question too, and I thought about growing up, when my sister and I would look through everything in my parentsâ bedroom when they weren’t home. You would have thought we were pirates looking for hidden treasures. The fact is, we were inquisitive, just like those two boys.
My question about Where was the babysitter was answered by one of the young doctors who asked the babysitter:
âWhere were you?”
“Why werenât you watching them?”
“How long were you away from them that they had time to unlock the gun box and take it out AND play with it.â
The young babysitter got immediately defensive and said two things that as a parent I HATE hearing â âThis was NOT my faultâ (whose fault was it maâam?) and âThey are 8 years old; theyâre not babies that need watching every minute!â (No they are inquisitive boys who if not monitored, get into anything & everything.) Duh!
To find out what happened to the gunshot victim, youâll have to tune in to last nightâs Greyâs Anatomy, but my point here is 1) What you think is put away or locked away, given enough time, can be found or opened. Trust me. 2) If something terrible happens to your child, whether they are busy or quiet types is something you will regret for the rest of your life. Something simple like your daughter trying to shave her legs like you, or your son drinking nail polish remover (true stories) doesnât matter â all youâll remember is what you were doing that they were able to get into something they shouldnât have.
Tip 1: The older your kids get (yes teens are included), the more you want to keep tabs on them. They are often in unbelievable situations and need us to be there for them unconditionally.
Tip 2: No matter what your belief is in the 1st Amendment â (the right to bear arms), keep your guns out of your home where your young kid can find them or your teen who is depressed/suicidal, or trying to prove something to his peers, tries it just for the hell of it – the outcome is usually deadly. Great message #ShondaRimes
Interested in learning more about your familyâs dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring Finding Superwoman program for Working Moms, parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters or Mothers and Sons. Email me at: info@clynnwilliams.com
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author, Family Coach, Speaker
www.clynnwilliams.com
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)
NEWESTâ Yours & Mine: The Winning Blended Family Formula (220 Publishing, 2015)
How We Make Them Feel
For my business owner friends, have you ever had a client who arrived late to their appointment with you? How did you make them feel? That was my story recently. I had a wonderful massage and nail service planned and got caught in traffic. Ugh⌠I probably needed to leave 20 minutes earlier. ÂĄAy Caramba (good grief), I missed 20 minutes of my relaxing massage, but the masseuse was kind, warm and inviting. The massage was wonderful and life was wonderful. I went happily on to my next service which was a nail repolish and the nail tech wouldn’t talk to me at all except to tell me that they are normally very busy on Fridays. Blah, blah, blah. Oh my God, I felt like I was 10 years old again, being chastised by my mother. Yes I was late and in the beauty business, the entire day is hijacked with one late client. I get it! But honestly I would have preferred to have been rescheduled to another time than to be given the silent treatment.
As a business owner, I learned a valuable lesson from that experience: How you treat your customers is what they remember forever. If they have done something that you have issues with, like show up late, fit them in (with a smile) or reschedule them. By no means, treat them or let your employees chastise them with a disapproving attitude.
What do you think?
C. Lynn Williams
Founder & Creator of Finding SuperWoman
Click here if you want to know more
I’m Grown Now Mom!
Have you ever wanted perfect so bad, you were willing to overstep your boundaries?
This has happened to me often, in different areas of my life, but today I’m talking about mothers & daughters. In her years as a teen, we went from having a I respect you because you’re my mom, to a very enjoyable one as she got older.
I learned a valuable lesson when I overstepped my boundaries thinking I knew best. Mothers always know best right? Well I reached out to one of her friends to resolve what I thought was a problem. I meant no harm, but it got back to her and we went through a rough patch.
It took me and my pride awhile to realize that I had been put in my place by my 20-something daughter, however once we talked about it, I realized I had to allow her to make her own decisions even when I thought they were mistakes.
I know it’s hard to see our little girls grow into adults and allow them to make their own decisions. When we interfere, we’re telling our daughters that we don’t trust the decisions they are making BUT more importantly, we are admitting to ourselves that we don’t believe we’ve raised them to the best of our ability. That sucks ladies!
Go ahead and let her make her own decision. You be there to cheer her on, or comfort her no matter what happens. Send me a comment and tell me how you’ve handled challenging situations with you daughter.
Need help with the hormones? Order your copy of my book: Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES!
C. Lynn Williams
Author, Creator of Finding Superwoman – a must have program for Women who Want It All
Oh Weight!
Itâs that time of year again, when I excitedly clean out my closet and begin to think about 
buying new outfits to wear. Normally by this time, I have started my Lenten fasting and am comfortable looking at myself in the mirror. This year is a little different. During the fall and winter months, I was busy going back and forth to the various hospitals and nursing homes that took care of my father. I thought about eating healthy foods and tried, but I really found that food made me feelâŚbetter⌠while I processed the fact that my father was dying.
As I attend my different womenâs conferences and workshops, I look around and notice my heavily figured friends and associates who too are carrying extra weight. I canât help thinking how many are care givers for ailing parents or family members, and just donât have the will power or time to eat a healthy meal. How many of us are emotional eaters? When I think about women like me, I think about all the issues that increased weight brings to us in the way of diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer. O
kay! Iâve got my own attention again. No more candy and I suppose I can give up cookies too!
Interested in learning more about your health or your familyâs dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging parents, Mothers and Daughters or Mothers and Sons. Email me at: info@clynnwilliams.com
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author, Coach & Family Dynamics Specialist
www.clynnwilliams.com
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)
NEWÂ Yours & Mine: The Winning Blended Family Formula (220 Publishing, 2015)
10 Daddy Tips for Raising A Daughter
I ran across this simple, but powerful list for dads to consider when interacting with their daughters, compliments of http://www.loveplayandlearn.com/10-daddy-tips-for-raising-a-daughter/ — Enjoy  
1. Love Her Mother:
I list this first because, arguably, this is the most important in helping to develop my daughterâs ability to develop, and maintain, a stable relationship in her future. Parents are the largest influence in this area and how you treat your spouse reinforces the kind of relationship that your child will seek in their adulthood. Love her mother, treat her with respect, and donât be afraid to express your love for her in front of your children. Expecting your child to know that you love your spouse without ever showing/expressing it around them sends mixed signals. To put it simply, think of it this way: would you want your daughter to marry someone that treats her the way you treat your spouse?
2. Tell Her Sheâs Beautiful AND SMART:
It goes without saying that fathers play a significant role in helping develop their daughterâs (really their sonâs as well) self-esteem. Your daughter faces a world that is not afraid to bash her self-esteem, and/or self-image, in order to sell her something. Itâs important that early, and often, you remind her that you think sheâs beautiful, inside and out. Of course beauty isnât everything and your daughter should know that you value her intellect as much, if not more so, than her appearance. Help her understand that her self-worth is not reliant on her physical appearance so that she learns not to base the value of others on their appearance. Teach her that beauty can be found in everyone and that intellect will help her live a rich and fulfilling life.
3. Spend Time With Her:
We live in an increasingly connected world. Yet, paradoxically, our personal relationships have become disconnected as a result. Your daughter wants requires your attention. There are certainly times in which this will be incredibly difficult, given the demands of your career, but the investment of your time in her life will reap rewards beyond measure in her adulthood. Make sure that she understands, and feels, that she is your number one priority in life.
4. Donât Be Afraid to Act Silly: Â 
Creative play engages your daughter and enriches her imagination. This means that you shouldnât be afraid to sit down to a tea party, or dress up now and then. You may feel ridiculous but your daughter will love you for it. It shows her that you value her happiness more than your personal pride and helps stimulate her creativity. This may mean youâll have to watch a silly, childish movie on occasion, but would you prefer that she remember all the fun you had with her as a child, or the times that you turned her down because it was beneath you?
5. ReadâŚReadâŚRead:
Nothing stimulates your daughterâs intellect, increases her vocabulary, and helps strengthen your relationship like cuddling and reading a good book. Dedicate a short portion of each day- bedtime is usually the easiest- to read to her whichever books she chooses. If your schedule makes spending time with your daughter difficult, say due to career obligations, commit a small window of your time just to this task and do everything within your power to be there each night â even if it means reading over Skype. This will become something that she looks forward to each day.
6. Share Your Hobbies With Her:
Who says that your daughter wouldnât be interested in watching the football game or your favorite movie? When sheâs young sheâll see this as an opportunity to spend time with her daddy doing something he enjoys. Include her in some of your hobbies so that she can learn to love and appreciate you even more. Perhaps even more importantly, be involved in her hobbies as well. Does she enjoy dance? Sports? Perhaps art? Be sure that you know the answer to that and you show her you care by participating in her hobbies as well. Sure, she may no longer want to join you as she gets older but donât forget to extend the invitation. She may rather hang with her friends than spend time with the âold manâ but at least youâre reminding her that your hobbies can be just as enjoyable, if not more so, with your daughter in tow.
7. Be Respectful of Others:
One of the biggest challenges that your daughter will face in her youth is developing a positive self-image and self-esteem. This is especially critical when sheâs in her early teens as her self-esteem is particularly fragile. Be cognizant of what you say of others, especially women, when your daughter is with you (though best practice is even if sheâs not with you). Remember that your âjokeâ or insult may have lasting consequences on your daughterâs psyche. Donât forget that she looks to you to get an idea of what to expect from the opposite sex.
8. Be Her âBFFâ:
At 19 months, I make it a priority to ask my daughter how her day went every night I come home from work. Sure, her incoherent ramblings usually consist of a smattering of words along with pure gibberish but I appear genuinely interested nonetheless. I make it a habit so that when she gets old enough to speak, sheâll know that I look forward to hearing about her day each evening. Your daughter will face many challenges and frustrations in her youth; make sure that she understands that she can always come to her daddy to share the good, and the bad, of her day on a regular basis. There will be times when sheâll need your shoulder to cry on, or just a pat on the back for a job well done. Be there, nonetheless. Sheâll remember it.
9. Help Her Reach For The Stars:
Whether itâs an artist, nurse, lawyer, engineer, or mathematician, remind her that she can achieve whatever she sets her mind to, regardless of her sex. Help her understand that she can break the boundary and become successful in whatever endeavor she chooses and then help her achieve this. Donât just tell her that she could be President of the United States if she asks, take her to a local government meeting to see politics in action. She wonât reach for the stars if you simply tell her to; she needs you to show her how to get there.
10. Cherish The Moments:
The most common line I heard when we were expecting was, âenjoy it; they grow up fast.â I wasnât sure just what this meant until one day, several months ago, my daughter went from stumble-walking to running, practically overnight. It dawned on me that day that she was never going to be the little baby that would fall asleep in my arms during a movie. Cherish every moment with your daughter, because one day youâll look back and wish that you had just given her one more hug, one more kiss, or one more âI love youâ. Sheâll always be your little girl but thereâs only so long that youâll be able to hold her in your arms and carry her up to bed after a long day of play. Iâll be the first to admit (and my wife will likely be the second to confirm) that I donât always follow these steps perfectly. As long as I give it my best effort, I can feel comfortable in the knowledge that Iâm giving my daughter the best chance to grow up to be a happy, self-assured, woman.
Happy Parenting!
C. Lynn Williams
#MsParentguru
www.clynnwilliams.com
The Peculiar Language Between Mothers & Their Sons (reprinted)
Periodically I write articles for Moms Magazine. It’s a great resource for mothers. I encourage you to check them out – momsmagazine.com This is my article reprinted from Moms Magazine 2/16/2016
When my biological son was in his late teens, he stopped communicating with me. It was an odd time because he had started college and I didnât see him often, so talking with him was very important to me. What I didnât know was that he was having difficulty managing his time and assignments. I knew something was wrong, (a motherâs instinct) just didnât know what. So my husband (his stepdad) and I took a road trip down to his campus and made a surprise visit. The conversation wasnât easy and he continued to give us one word answers and stony looks, but we eventually understood the entire story.
I continued to use the practices and tips that I talk about in my book â The Pampered Prince: Mom Create a GREAT Relationship With Your Son and made sure that whe
n I felt he was distant or needed to talk, I reached out and didnât tell myself I was wrong. Once he knew I wasnât just trying to âget in his businessâ or âwreck his lifeâ, he talked to me.
I thought about our relationship as I watched the ABC 20/20 show where the mother of one of the Columbine shooters talked about how she didnât acknowledge the distance she felt with her son, and how she had no idea he was planning the shooting or was so easily influenced by another boy, also a shooter. She also did what many of us do when our sons show us some attention â she thought things were much better. It was just a smokescreen to get her out of his Kool-Aid. My point here is that some of the messages we receive are a motherâs intuition and while it may not make sense, if we donât act on it, weâre screwed.
It may be awkward if you are not used to conversing with your son. They are very good at ignoring us or making us feel like we are wasting their time. Push through that feeling and make some space for a conversation to begin. Inviting my son to dinner or out for ice cream worked 90% of the time. He loves both and once we start eating, the words seem to tumble out. This idea works for sons from teen to mid-twenties. Try it and let me know what happened. I would love to hear from you.
Want to learn more about how to communicate with your son? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my life-changing parenting programs for blended families, aging parents, mothers and daughters or mothers and sons. Email me at: info@clynnwilliams.com
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author ~ Coach ~ Family Dynamics Specialist
www.clynnwilliams.com
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)
NEW – Yours & Mine: The Winning Blended Family Formula (220 Publishing, 2015)
3 Apps for Co-Parenting Parents
This is a great post by Amanda Maenner for parents who are raising children from two different households. Enjoy!
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Wicked Stepmoms Unite
I don’t think of myself as a stepmom, except when all of our kids are home to visit, or most recently to gather for my dad’s memorial service. While I am mother to children that I did physically have, I’d like to think that I am far from wicked.
Two events caused me to thinkof stepmoms and “wicked” in the same sentence. The first was a conversation I’ve been having with one of my students about her stepmother and how controlling she is, and the other is a relative’s belief that stepchildren don’t have the same attachments to family members as our biological children, therefore they are not entitled to be part of the ‘inner family circle’.
I say hogwash! We stepmoms / blended family moms have a responsibility to keep our children close to us and keep the distinctions to a minimum.
I know it’s easy to write this and hard to live it, but I know what it’s like to be seen as ‘different’ from the other children. So when we favor our biological children over our stepchildren, or allow others to show favoritism between our kids, we begin to create scars that last well into adulthood. If you feel insecure when your husband wants to spend time with his daughter (your stepdaughter), seek out a therapist, become a part of a supportive stepmoms support group or join my upcoming coaching program for mothers.
Happy, secure mothers are well loved and a joy to be around. Let’s remove “wicked” from our family’s vocabulary.
C. Lynn Williams
#MsParentguru
Gratitude
This year has gone by so quickly, that my moments of reflection are usually quick thoughts before I begin my day.
To keep from being anxious or depressed with how little time I have, I’ve been thinking about how much I’m grateful for.
Here is part of a Daily Word message I read this morning: “When I realize that something beyond my wildest dreams is coming into my life, I follow Mary’s example and respond with gratitude, humility, and faith.”
This has truly been a year of miracles. Here are just three:
1. My dad of 83 years went into hospice and then came out.
2. I’ve learned (again) that my thoughts control how my life turns out, so I am controlling my thoughts.
3. My fourth family relationship book Yours & Mine: A Winning Blended Family Formula was just published and is receiving great reviews.
Thank you for joining me on this amazing journey by reading my blogs, reposting them and sharing them with your friends on social media.
Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!
C. Lynn Williams aka #MsParentguru
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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