Old World Parenting Russian Style

March 11, 2013 at 1:52 pm 5 comments

Over the weekend, I was talking to a Russian woman named Irena and she was excited about her son’s upcoming birthday. I love birthdays, mine will be here in a few weeks, so I joined in her enthusiasm as well and asked how old her son was. “He will be 27, and I’m trying to decide what kind of cake to bake for him.” She later told me that he still lived at home with her. When she suggested that he consider moving out; he asked her what he had done to make her mad; why was she suggesting that he move? Apparently where he’s employed, his colleagues think something is wrong with him because he still lives at home with his mother.

I too was surprised that he still lived at home at the age of 26. When I said that, Irena shared that in Russian culture, children live at home until they are married. No parent thinks that their child should move, and the adult children continue to obey their parents, support the household financially as well as help with chores. “He’s a good boy” Irena told me, and “I live for my son”. One of the other ideas that Irena shared is that Russian children are taught that education is very important. In order to be successful, you must have excellent grades and a great education. Her requirement was that her son study and finish homework (daily), even as a young boy. She required that and helped him study. Of course his grades were excellent; he is currently finishing law school.

As a parent, I felt the same way as Irena. You love your children dearly, and your love means helping them build a strong foundation where they understand from early childhood the importance of education, commitment and obedience. It’s easy to tell a child to go to her room and finish her homework. I believe it’s more valuable to have them open those school books at the kitchen table (in front of you) and study. You get a chance to add your two cents worth, and your child gets to learn about the importance of education and your commitment to them. Interesting concept, right?

My newest book, “How to Turn Your Daughter Into a Queen – The Art of Raising an Awesome Daughter” is due out by May, 2013.   Email me at: cgwwbooks@yahoo.com if you’re interested in reading a short excerpt. Find me on Twitter @cgwwbook.

C. Lynn Williams, #Msparentguru
Author and Parenting Coach

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)

Entry filed under: family, Old World, Parenting, sons, traditional parenting. Tags: , , , , .

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5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. BeingZhenya  |  March 12, 2013 at 3:33 am

    I was born and raised in Russia, and I hate that part of culture, where kids live at home with their parents. I now live in the US, where it’s the exact opposite! I myself got out of my parents house as soon as I could. I do have 2 cousins though who still live at home with their parents. One is a recent college grad, has a job, but no personal life, because she has to share the apartment with everyone else! The other cousin has been absorbed by on-line games, to escape the reality of living with her parents. I don’t know what else to tell you, but if I ever have a kid, once he/she is in college – they are out of the house!

    • 2. clwilliams27  |  March 12, 2013 at 3:55 am

      Thanks for your honesty. I too couldn’t wait to leave home after graduating from college! I was surprised talking with Irena, but understood that Russian culture was very different from some Americans.

      • 3. BeingZhenya  |  March 12, 2013 at 12:46 pm

        You are welcome, and it is, and I tend to think of myself as someone who doesn’t fall under the stereotypes, but we all do (I wrote my senior thesis on that), my grandmother tried keeping me in the house for as long as she could, and see how well that worked out!

  • 4. larrydmiller2013  |  December 4, 2014 at 9:39 am

    C.Lynn Williams,
    thanks for liking my blog post and following my blog.
    I really like what you are doing.

    • 5. C. Lynn Williams  |  January 23, 2015 at 6:54 pm

      Thanks Larry,
      Maybe you will write a guest blog for me?

      Best, C. Lynn


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