3 Thoughts on The Overuse of Resilience

October 7, 2021 at 11:33 pm Leave a comment

We keep telling ourselves that “kids are resilient”. By that we mean:

⁃ Teens handle change well (not always true)

⁃ Teens embrace technology (some tech; not all)

⁃ Teens are able to move past personal & professional trauma (untrue without professional mental health support)

Teens handle change well when parents and the related adults in their life, help them build coping skills like acknowledging that bad things happen and you can survive. When we teach our children that they must have the highest grades or top success as student athletes, it builds stress and anxiety which they hold inside. Depending on how fragile they are to change, can be an indication of how they internalize pressure (and fix it by harming themselves).

Many teens and tweens love the technology that gives them ways to communicate with each other, and watch movies and videos. Their natural curiosity allows them to understand (intuitively) how to use new tech, games and apps. Being technologically savvy does not mean they will write papers faster or complete homework on time unless you have instilled that skill into their daily routine early in their educational career.

We assume that our teens are able to move past trauma easily because they are flexible, young and tell us everything is okay. These thoughts are far from the truth when you look at the number of teens who perform self-injury or attempt suicide.

This period of isolation (caused by the COVID-19 pandemic) has also contributed to our teens anxiety and depression.

Things to remember that will help your teen be more resilient:

• Stay connected by communicating & listening 👂 🗣

• If your instincts say something wrong… It is… 😰 If your teen won’t talk, reach out to the school counselor, social worker or ask your pediatrician for a referral to a child psychologist 👩‍⚕️

• Stay connected to school staff as they can be resources for support 🎗✂️✏️🖇

Your teen will tell you that you are overreacting. It’s not overreacting if they need help and you are able to provide it.

Parents who have lost their children to death by suicide, would love a 2nd opportunity to follow their 1st mind.

Besides reaching out to your child’s school support staff or pediatrician, here are a couple of additional resources:

Suicide Prevention:

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Self-injury Awareness:

https://www.destinationsforteens.com/destinations-blog/march-is-self-injury-awareness-month/

Thanks for reading my blog, and following me on Instagram, Twitter & TikTok @MsParentguru.

C. Lynn Williams

clynnwilliams.com

Entry filed under: #MsParentguru, adolescent depression, anxiety, Parenting. Tags: .

My Teen Is Old Enough… The Voices Heard Before Suicide

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